Other rescuer decided, without me, to keep my foster kitten - Superior attitude among rescuers

ziggy'smom

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I'm so annoyed today so I just have to vent and I'm curious what other people think about this issue. I have heard people complaining that some people in rescue have a superior attitude and think that they are the only ones that can take care of animals and that other people aren't quite good enough. I think I just ran into a woman with that attitude and frankly I'm offended.

I've been doing rescue for close to a decade and have rescued, fostered and adopted out many, many cats and kittens. I've also done some TNR. I'm not new to this and I'm far from ignorant about cat health. I don't, however, have a lot of money so for that reason I reached out to a lady who runs a TNR organization to ask her if she could help me with a kitten I'm fostering who is sick for the third time in 40 days. Since he's been sick and recovered, gotten sick and recovered and is now sick again I fear that there is something seriously wrong with him. I fear he may have FeLV.

She agreed to take him to the vet which she did. After, she texted me and told me that he's on antibiotics and that she's decided to keep him. She plans to keep him for a few days until he's better and then bring him to a shelter to be adopted! ***! I didn't ask her to keep him and bring him to a shelter. She was supposed to take him to the vet and hopefully have him tested for FeLV and FIV.

Why should the kitten stay with her and go to a shelter when he has a perfectly qualified foster home where he can stay until he's adopted? I have his litter mates here too. What can she do that I can't do? I think it was so disrespectful to text me and tell me she's keeping him without any kind of discussion with me who have had this kitten for over a month. You just don't make decisions about someone else's foster cat without even consulting them.

She dismissed everything I know about his health history too, like I don't know what I'm talking about, and didn't even get him tested for FIV/FeLV. Do you guys think it's possible that this is the same URI that keeps coming back after he's been fully recovered for over two weeks?

It's not that I'm so eager to get this kitten back, even though I do think he would be happier in my spare room with his sisters than alone in a cage at her place or at a shelter. I just don't appreciate the gesture. She seems to think that she is somehow superior to me and that I can't do what she can do. I suspect she, like some other rescuers, think that everybody but them are irresponsible potential hoarders.

Sorry for the looong post. I'm just so annoyed at getting dismissed like this by someone who seems to think she is superior to me and treats me like I'm clueless and unqualified to care for a kitten, maybe even so irresponsible that I'm making the kitten sick. Nevermind that I've had dozens of cats with URI that have recovered and remained healthy until they were adopted.
 

Some rescuers really have to work on their people skills because a large part of rescue is dealing with people and they matter too. They have to realize that others are also qualified to care for animals. It's not rocket science!
 

magiksgirl

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Can't you just go over and take back the kitten? I don't know all the circumstances, but from what I'm reading, you should just stand up for yourself and ask for the kitten back, it's yours anyways, and she was just taking care of him for you


I would march down to her and request the kitten back. You can even pull the sad-but-effective "Property card", where you say the kitten is your property, he was on loan and of she doesn't give it back, it's theft 
 

ondine

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I must confess this is exactly why I withdrew from active rescue/fostering.  The people who rescue in my area are constantly at each other's throats and always undermining one another.  It always puzzled me, because don't we all have the same goal?  But between this group that does not believe in TNR and that group who thinks feral cats are better off dead, I simply couldn't bear it anymore.

I agree with MagiksGirl - there is no reason for you not to go get the kitten, unless you feel you simply can't take him back now.  If she does take him to the shelter, I hope he gets a good home.

Bless you for all you are doing.  No matter what, it is making a difference and no one should make you feel inferior for that!
 
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ellag

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she was out of line. is she just another foster or is it her organization?
 

StefanZ

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I'm so annoyed today so I just have to vent and I'm curious what other people think about this issue. I have heard people complaining that some people in rescue have a superior attitude and think that they are the only ones that can take care of animals and that other people aren't quite good enough. I think I just ran into a woman with that attitude and frankly I'm offended.
Yes, its sometimes true.

I met this very strongly when I was one of the hosts and moderators of a minor swedish cat forum about 10-12 years ago (the forum disappeared when the owner got other things to do).   I being me, I took of course extra care of the Feral and Homeless forum.   And there we sometimes met these zelaous rescuers of the ferales.  They hardly participated nor even answered our questions to them, them taking a very Von Oben attitude  - as we were just a bunch of bleak amateurs, at least according to them.  The real thing was done on THEIRS forum and site... Done by themselves of course, we hardly counted.
 

Draco

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I refuse to help a coworker take care of ferals at my job. She feeds them and captures kittens by hand. She refuses to TNR them, and she refuses to take the kittens to a shelter to be adopted. Instead she lets them breed and asks weekly for money from everyone in the company to help support the kittens she has taken in as well as the ferals.

I respect that people have different opinions on how to take care of animals, however there are many that does not respect opinions.

I would get your kitten back. Maybe there was a misunderstanding and she thought you wanted her to take care of the kitten until adoption! Talk to her.
 
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