My cat literally slashed my mother - Please Help :(

kkoerner

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Spay=altering of a female animal by removal of the uterus and ovaries.

Neuter=altering of a male animal by removing the testicles, though modernly they leave the outer sac present in small animals.

How is everyone doing?
 
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grizzlysapien

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I hope things have calmed down a little.  What a nightmare you've been having - I am glad you're okay.  To answer your question about neuter vs spay -  spay is the operation on females, neutering is an umbrella term that includes the procedure on males and females both.  At least that is my understanding.  How are your mother and Grizzly today?
 
I'm sorry I haven't got here sooner. I haven't anything to add to the wonderful advice you've already received. Just wanted to let you know all three of you are in my thoughts 


 
 
Spay=altering of a female animal by removal of the uterus and ovaries.

Neuter=altering of a male animal by removing the testicles, though modernly they leave the outer sac present in small animals.

How is everyone doing?
Hey everyone!

So, my mom is doing better.. A lot of her wounds seem to be in a better shape. She is not in excruciating pain, but the area with the stitches, seems to be the more "challenged" one.. She wanted to change the gauze on the stiches, cause it got "ichy".. But we finally removed only part of it, cause it's a bit tangled over there with the stiches and all.. BUT, the good thing is that the part of the gauze we removed, revealed some wounds that needed treatment, so we had the chance to properly sterilize them and I put some antibiotic ointment on them.. They seem pretty deep and they form Grizzly's mouth, actually.. I didn't tell her.
 Thank God it was at the back of her calf. Tomorrow we'll go at the hospital so that the doctor can do a follow up and replace the gauze on the stiches.. 


My dad, as I said in my previous post is doing worse..  I saw him this afternoon, he was NOT OK.. But he's hanging in there.. Tomorrow we'll visit HIS doctor..

As you can tell, tomorrow will be another day I will take BOTH my parents, AT the hospital, ON the same day! What are the odds, people?? Oh! And tomorrow, there will be another heatwave.. 
 I mean.. this can't be happening, right? It's just a nighmare and I'm about to wake up..


Grizzly, has been a bit "off".. He is not in a mood of doing anything but lying down, staring at nothing and sleeping.. I took him with me when I went to my father's. But I guess it was a mistake, cause I get a feeling he thought I was going to give him away.. Anyway, I fixed that when I got home, so he is now half asleep beside me.. 

My mom, is really determined she doesn't want to see him again. She doesn't even want to be in the living room, where she shed all that blood.. It brings bad memories and I am trying to respect that, but she needs to snap out of it at some point. One of the reasons I took Grizzly at my father's house, was to give her the motive to walk around our appartment, without being scared and to have a chance to "breathe" a bit.. And so she did.. 
 But I don't know how it felt, or how long it lasted.. 


I am so worried she won't be able to trust him again.. Even the thought that he might be in the next room makes her nuts. That's why I keep him in my area, which is at the other end of the appartment.. 

I was thinking that when I arrange to meet with the vet, I will tell her to come with me. So she can talk with the vet, herself.. In that way, we'll be given the chance to have a conversation 1. without her screaming at me, and 2. to listen to the vet's assessment of the whole situation.. 

Now Grizzly got on my lap and sighed 
 he's not well.. I can tell.. 
 

Thank you all for your kind words and advice.. It means a lot you are here supporting me.. It takes my stress away 
 

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Taking your mom to the vet with you is a great idea. It might help her put things in perspective a little. Having said that, I can't imagine how scary it must have been for her to be on the receiving end of an attack like that. Its good to hear she's healing well though. I hope your dad is feeling better too.

Grizzly is probably feeling very confused, maybe a little depressed, and certainly traumatised by recent events. Be sure to give him the love and reassurance he needs too. To say this is a stressful time for you all is a massive understatement, but you will all get through this. Hang in there!

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Getting your Mum to talk to the vet is a great idea.

This is just a thought, but could the hospital smells on your Mum and Dad be upsetting Grizzly? I know my cats are very wary of each other after one of them has been to the vet. Maybe Grizzly can smell the medicinal smell of the hospital on your parents and it's making him nervous?

Cats are very sensitive to things like that and, as you probably know, they're emotional sponges. He can tell that you're worried about your parents and stressed out by the heat. He's probably very worried about you. So like @Columbine  said, take care of yourself. Go give Grizzly a hug from me.
 

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I joined so I could respond to you.  I'm really worried about you and your mom and your cat.  And anyone else who might fall victim to another attack.  Your cat sounds like a very dangerous kitty and it doesn't matter how much you love him.  You have to protect the humans first.  

My mother had a cat she dearly loved who behaved like this.  It was a shock to her because he had been such a sweet kitty. My dad told her he'd seen Bandit behave violently toward him (briefly) and to the other cats.  My mom couldn't believe it.  Well then the day came that she had to believe it.  The cat came completely unglued and did damage to her almost as bad as what has happened to your poor mom.  Your mom is right to be afraid and upset, and you know that, but what you may not know (I gather you're a young woman) is that all of us including cats are susceptible to some pretty awful things that can happen neurologically to change our disposition and make us behave quite differently than we would normally.  I'm not saying your cat has something like a brain tumor or bad problem like that but it's POSSIBLE and it's also very possible that your vet is taking this too lightly, for whatever reason. (Perhaps your vet doesn't think you can afford to follow up on this? or that you're not emotionally strong enough, or physically strong enough, to face up to it.)  

You must get him neutered as soon as possible and while he's under for that have the vet give him a more thorough checkup.  It could be there's something easy to fix causing this.  It could be if you neuter him he'll settle down and be a love but and you'll never see this behavior again.

It's not your fault that this happened but it will be your fault if it happens again.  You must take responsibility for protecting people and animals from a cat you now know is potentially very dangerous.  It sounds like your mother might have died from that attack.  Without modern medical intervention, she would certainly have become desperately ill.  

Also, cats can be so sensitive to changes in smell.  A tomcat that hasn't been neutered especially so.  They have great bloody battles provoked by nothing more than a few molecules of urine or pheremones carried on the air. The bird cage probably stressed him out, but you don't know what scent might have been coming in, maybe a female in heat.  Also your cat might be in pain from something.  So PLEASE stop taking your cat to visit your dad or otherwise take him out of his familiar environment except to get him neutered, and do that ASAP.  He's not a human child who needs to learn how to conduct himself in a wide variety of places.  He's a very territorial cat who is probably flipping out from the things that have happened around him lately.  Hospital smells, blood, etc. 

I have a 12 week old kitten going through a bitey phase.  It's not cute and i'm pulling out all the stops to teach him not to do this.  Someday he'll be a big kitty and can do real harm. It's my responsibility to make sure he won't.  

My parents had to have their Bandit put to sleep.  The vet said it was a brain tumor.  It wasn't their fault or the cat's fault and they still get teary-eyed when they think about it, but it was the only thing to do.  Think of a very bad headache.  A cat can't tell you why it is out of sorts.  Your vet has to take this seriously...if he/she doesn't, find another vet.  

And I wish you the best and strength enough to handle this.  Please help your mother feel safe again. You shouldn't be bitten either, even casually by an animal in your care.  Whatever you have to do, that is very important. 
 
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grizzlysapien

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Taking your mom to the vet with you is a great idea. It might help her put things in perspective a little. Having said that, I can't imagine how scary it must have been for her to be on the receiving end of an attack like that. Its good to hear she's healing well though. I hope your dad is feeling better too.

Grizzly is probably feeling very confused, maybe a little depressed, and certainly traumatised by recent events. Be sure to give him the love and reassurance he needs too. To say this is a stressful time for you all is a massive understatement, but you will all get through this. Hang in there!

BE SURE TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF   
 It takes more than water to keep body and soul together 


 
Getting your Mum to talk to the vet is a great idea.

This is just a thought, but could the hospital smells on your Mum and Dad be upsetting Grizzly? I know my cats are very wary of each other after one of them has been to the vet. Maybe Grizzly can smell the medicinal smell of the hospital on your parents and it's making him nervous?

Cats are very sensitive to things like that and, as you probably know, they're emotional sponges. He can tell that you're worried about your parents and stressed out by the heat. He's probably very worried about you. So like @Columbine  said, take care of yourself. Go give Grizzly a hug from me.
to @Columbine  and @Norachan: Thank you so much for your kind words and wishes
 The whole thing was scary as hell.. But for my mom at the most. Not only because she was at the receiving end, but also she was hurt emotionally.. Grizzly passed his first days on her chest mainly.. I would take him during night, but during the whole day, he was on my mom, since she was in bed recovering from her knee surgery back then. So she sees him as her "little baby". And she is so confused and upset by his behaviour. So, yes, the visit to the vet may help her to understand a few things.. To comprehent and grasp the nature of a cat. The importance of "hunting" and all the things we need to be alarmed about, as humans. Because, let's face it: Cats are such a different species from us. WE can rationalize things. Cats, "rationalize" in their own terms. And most animals in general. From my experience, a cat or a dog continue to develop their personalities up until 3 years old.


I hadn't thought that the smells of hospital and medicine etc, could have triggered him as well. He hates going to the vet and perhaps he has associated the smells. So, it could be possible.
 
I joined so I could respond to you.  I'm really worried about you and your mom and your cat.  And anyone else who might fall victim to another attack.  Your cat sounds like a very dangerous kitty and it doesn't matter how much you love him.  You have to protect the humans first.  

My mother had a cat she dearly loved who behaved like this.  It was a shock to her because he had been such a sweet kitty. My dad told her he'd seen Bandit behave violently toward him (briefly) and to the other cats.  My mom couldn't believe it.  Well then the day came that she had to believe it.  The cat came completely unglued and did damage to her almost as bad as what has happened to your poor mom.  Your mom is right to be afraid and upset, and you know that, but what you may not know (I gather you're a young woman) is that all of us including cats are susceptible to some pretty awful things that can happen neurologically to change our disposition and make us behave quite differently than we would normally.  I'm not saying your cat has something like a brain tumor or bad problem like that but it's POSSIBLE and it's also very possible that your vet is taking this too lightly, for whatever reason. (Perhaps your vet doesn't think you can afford to follow up on this? or that you're not emotionally strong enough, or physically strong enough, to face up to it.)  

You must get him neutered as soon as possible and while he's under for that have the vet give him a more thorough checkup.  It could be there's something easy to fix causing this.  It could be if you neuter him he'll settle down and be a love but and you'll never see this behavior again.

It's not your fault that this happened but it will be your fault if it happens again.  You must take responsibility for protecting people and animals from a cat you now know is potentially very dangerous.  It sounds like your mother might have died from that attack.  Without modern medical intervention, she would certainly have become desperately ill.  

Also, cats can be so sensitive to changes in smell.  A tomcat that hasn't been neutered especially so.  They have great bloody battles provoked by nothing more than a few molecules of urine or pheremones carried on the air. The bird cage probably stressed him out, but you don't know what scent might have been coming in, maybe a female in heat.  Also your cat might be in pain from something.  So PLEASE stop taking your cat to visit your dad or otherwise take him out of his familiar environment except to get him neutered, and do that ASAP.  He's not a human child who needs to learn how to conduct himself in a wide variety of places.  He's a very territorial cat who is probably flipping out from the things that have happened around him lately.  Hospital smells, blood, etc. 

I have a 12 week old kitten going through a bitey phase.  It's not cute and i'm pulling out all the stops to teach him not to do this.  Someday he'll be a big kitty and can do real harm. It's my responsibility to make sure he won't.  

My parents had to have their Bandit put to sleep.  The vet said it was a brain tumor.  It wasn't their fault or the cat's fault and they still get teary-eyed when they think about it, but it was the only thing to do.  Think of a very bad headache.  A cat can't tell you why it is out of sorts.  Your vet has to take this seriously...if he/she doesn't, find another vet.  

And I wish you the best and strength enough to handle this.  Please help your mother feel safe again. You shouldn't be bitten either, even casually by an animal in your care.  Whatever you have to do, that is very important. 
@SilkyM, first of all welcome! And I really REALLY appreciate the fact you joined cause my "ordeal" seemed urgent enough for you to do that! I wish I could have given you a more positive reason!

I don't know if you read it but in one of my first posts, I wrote this:
 

 
I don't know, guys.. I just feel that it just isn't normal to have a simple "accident" in the house, like dropping something and being afraid to end up at the hospital. For example, the other day I was vacuuming and I accidentally knocked down an end table because I couldn't hold it right, and Grizzly got mad. He didn't get aggressive but he didn't seem "fine". So, I took him to the bedroom untill he calmed down again. I am sure, if I hadn't isolated him, he would attack. Not severely, but he would try to cause some damage.. I mean.. Should I look for something else, like a health issue? Should I order my vet to run some tests? I am beginning to fear that maybe some part of his DNA may have a weird origin, or something.. I know his mommy was a tortoiseshell stray cat, but I have no clue about his father. And all of his sibblings have never demonstrated a behaviour like this.. They are all sweet, calm kitties. We keep in touch with the other "parents", since we kinda bonded after the whole adoption campaign, over a year ago.. 
As you can understand, your opinion really pulled a string. In an effective way. Because I was afraid I am crazy to think that maybe there is something medical, or that this is not an acceptable behaviour. Of course, I will have to agree to the other members' points of view, cause I've read tons of articles regarding this "aggressive behaviour", these days. So, a lot of things, factors, circumstances do make sense. 

Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder: What if something happens again, which could be pretty normal.. and it sets him off again? I was having a fight with my father on the phone and I yelled.. This was 3 hrs ago. So, when I turned and saw Grizzly, he was in that "mode" again.. But I grabbed him and isolated him. By the time I finished the call, he was back to being calm again and was half asleep. What if I hadn't noticed? I mean that, he should've get used to situations like this, by now. Sometimes when I had an argument with my mom, he would get in the way, sit between us and "meow" loudly.. So, he somehow stopped the "fight", which was a plain argument, actually. But the last couple of months, he started to "charge". Maybe we're too loud for his tastes? 
 For example, we might call loudly for each other if one of us is too far to hear and he will "charge". With no argument at all. So, this doesn't seem normal. Or maybe it's too much "stress" for him to handle and he shows that now, that he's grown more. 


I will definitely discuss this matter with my vet, because these days I catch myself doing really slow and "careful" moves, so as not to trigger him. And it's a bit uncofortable to be always in alert, in my own home. I mean, I have to relax in my home. Not being afraid. Cause I am a bit afraid that he might turn against me out of the blue, with no apparent reason. Neutering is definitely in schedule. And I had already decided to have some more tests on him. Maybe something is wrong. Health-wise. I will get on top of that in the next few days. 

Apart from that, I do feel responsible for the attack to my mom. Because he had attacked me once already and I should have concidered checking him medically from that point in time. I didn't, cause I was certain about the origin of his attack. So, if I had done so, maybe my mom wouldn't have gone through all this. Now, I think she feels "betrayed" by him, in a way.. She is concerned. Asking me if he's been eating etc... She seems worried about him.. But she is no position to face him, just yet.. It's so complicated and I cannot handle it 100% - I'll just have to wait, I guess 


Tomorrow I'm taking my dad to run some more tests and get a final diagnose.. I am hoping that within the week I will have time to take Grizzly to the vet. Until then, Grizzly will remain confined in my area..
 
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silkym

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You are going through so much.  I can't imagine how much stress and responsibility is suddenly falling on you.  I really feel for you.  I keep thinking (as does my mom) that this is going to turn out to be a physical thing.  An adrenal gland problem maybe?   And it really isn't your fault that you hoped for the best out of the situation! I'm sure even your mom doesn't think that you should have known this could happen.  You couldn't have.  Most of us who have had cats all our lives have never had anything like this happen. 

I was frantic when this was happening to my mom and dad, and I was not where I could help, but there really was no help for it.  They just had to do what was necessary for them, for their other pets, and for Bandit himself.  

Please update with whatever you learn.  
 
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grizzlysapien

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Hey guys 


So, we got a final diagnose for my dad. Things are a bit serious, but can be handled with the right medical treatment and diet as well. We found out about health issues that he's been having and he or we had no idea about! The doctor said, he was actually lucky he had the tests today.. Had he postponed them more, he would undergo kidney failure, amongst other things.. His body has demonstrated a kind of arthritis due to the malfunction of the kidneys.. He's already on meds and we will be able to witness results in the following days.. Of course he needs to take some additional tests in the upcoming week. But at least, some things seem to be put in order gradually. So, YAY! No surgery at this point! And there is good chance he'll avoid surgery completely. Phew! 

Grizzly was the snuggle champion last night. He wouldn't let me stand up unless I petted him some more, or cuddle with him.. He was in desperate need of "pampering" I guess 
  The best thing is that while I only slept only 4 hours, he didn't wake me up at all.. I was just opening my eyes at times to see where he is.. And he was like a guardian angel.. Awake and looking over me.. At times he slept hugging my legs.. He was quiet and caring. I can't describe it differently. 


My mom was on call last night (she is a nurse) and she had to go to work. We were concerned about her wounds, but she made it just fine. I guess she needed to go out of the appartment and it was good for her. Although, I would prefer she stayed at home 2-3 more days.. But this morning when she got off, she was better, more cheerful, more like her usual self 


When my mom got back from work this morning, I had to leave and take my dad to the other hospital for his tests.. So I left Grizzly alone for about 4-5 hours.. When I got back, he seemed OK.. but when I gave him his favorite treat, he didn't eat any.. He hasn't eaten or drunk anything since I got back, which was 5 hours ago.. We had a nap together.. And now he's napping again.. I don't know if I should worry. It's a really hot day today, but I've turned on the air-condition and it's fine inside the appartment.. So, I can't blame it on the heat.. It worries me a bit, but I will arrange the vet appointment for tomorrow, so I'm hoping that nothing goes wrong until then. 
 
You are going through so much.  I can't imagine how much stress and responsibility is suddenly falling on you.  I really feel for you.  I keep thinking (as does my mom) that this is going to turn out to be a physical thing.  An adrenal gland problem maybe?   And it really isn't your fault that you hoped for the best out of the situation! I'm sure even your mom doesn't think that you should have known this could happen.  You couldn't have.  Most of us who have had cats all our lives have never had anything like this happen. 

I was frantic when this was happening to my mom and dad, and I was not where I could help, but there really was no help for it.  They just had to do what was necessary for them, for their other pets, and for Bandit himself.  

Please update with whatever you learn.  
Thank you @SilkyM  for your concern and advice.. I will discuss it further with the vet, cause excluding health issues would be just irresponsible. Of course, I hope for Grizzly that he just acted out, instead of having medical issues.. I don't want him to be in any pain or in any kind of "torture". I couldn't care less about the cost, even if my money is tight right now. I just want to make sure he's healthy, or if he's not, to provide him with the appopriate treatment. 
 
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Columbine

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 It's great news your dad has a diagnosis 
At least the problem can be treated and managed now. I hope he feels better really soon. Glad your mom was feeling up to going back to work, too. I hope she's healing up nicely 


Try not to worry too much about Grizzly. He's bound to be feeling unsettled still after his ordeal. I'm not surprised he seemed more depressed after being alone with your mom - cats are very sensitive to emotional energy, and he's probably feeling as insecure as your mom is since the attack.

Hang in there. There will be a way through this.
 
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grizzlysapien

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 It's great news your dad has a diagnosis 
At least the problem can be treated and managed now. I hope he feels better really soon. Glad your mom was feeling up to going back to work, too. I hope she's healing up nicely 


Try not to worry too much about Grizzly. He's bound to be feeling unsettled still after his ordeal. I'm not surprised he seemed more depressed after being alone with your mom - cats are very sensitive to emotional energy, and he's probably feeling as insecure as your mom is since the attack.

Hang in there. There will be a way through this.
Thanks for the "pep talk" @Columbine  


Just want to clarify that Grizzly was not left alone with my mother. He was left alone, confined, in my area of the appartment. My mom was in the rest of it. So, they didn't get in contact at all. Which might be even worse.. 

Apart from that, I want to focus on the part where you wrote "Hang in there. There will be a way through this."   Any suggestions on that one? On how to make the 1st contact after all these days? My mom already agreed to coming along at the vet, so it's a good start. I'm guessing after tomorrow which probably be the day that we neuter Grizzly, would be a good chance, cause he's gonna be a bit "tired" and "off"? So, he will be more calm? Or can any of you suggest any ideas? 'Cause, I need to prep my mom too, not only Grizzly... 
 

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I realise Grizzly wasn't 'with' your mom, but he'd still have been able to sense her energy - just as we can sense stress or tension coming from someone. Cats' senses are just more finely attuned.

You're in such a tough situation. I can fully appreciate how stressed and scared (and maybe even betrayed) your mom must be feeling. I think taking things slowing will be a big part of it - if your mom gets too anxious Grizzly will feel it to, which could possibly lead to a negative feedback situation. You could look at getting the vet to fit Grizzly with Soft Paws claw covers on all four paws. That would mean he could use his claws normally, but wouldn't be able to do any damage. They're not permanent, and need replacing periodically, but I really think its worth giving them a go - at least for the immediate future. Just knowing that she couldn't be scratched might go some way to helping your mom relax a little. Bach's Rescue Remedy would be a good idea - possibly for all of you, but definitely for Grizzly and your mom. I've had really good results using flower remedies on animals - I can't explain WHY they work, but they do. If you can give me a detailed list of Grizzly's issues (including motivation/emotion as far as its possible to tell) I'll gladly go through my books and try to formulate a custom blend for him. I'm NOT a Bach Flower Remedies practitioner, but I have a friend who is, and I currently have some of her books on the subject. (Just a note - I wouldn't offer this if I didn't know that any 'incorrect' remedies just pass through the system without causing any harm).

I do think neutering will help. I understand your reluctance, but I honestly believe the benefits far outweigh any negatives - both in general health and behavioral terms. 

Thinking again on the 'how'. What about getting Grizzly settled with you in a neutral area of the house, then having your mom just come in the room. If you're already in contact with Grizzly, then you're in an ideal position to restrain or redirect him as necessary. Let your mom be in control regarding how close she comes. Maybe a first goal could be sitting down in the same room for a few minutes, working towards being able to toss a treat to him or sit next to you (where you're a buffer between her and Grizzly).

I hope some of this is making sense to you. I'm not trained in any of this (though I've done a lot of work with cats, dogs and horses....including regaining my own confidence in horses that have injured me), just telling you how I'd approach it.

You're all in my thoughts 
 
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grizzlysapien

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Huge thanks, @Columbine  


I hadn't realised that you meant Grizzly's sense of my mom's energy. On that, you are totally right. 

My mom getting anxious with Grizzly is my big fear about bringing them together. That's why I thought I'd try it, right after the surgery, when Grizzly will not seem "threatening" to her eyes. And the idea about the neutral space is brilliant.. 

I looked up the Bach Flower Remedies you mentioned. I don't know how I can buy them from another country since most of the transactions, here in Greece, are banned, due to Capital Controls.. But the fact that I can get a blend especially picked for Grizzly, is really intriguing.. Did you mean, I should tell you about the exact things that usually set him off? Reactions? His general character? 

The whole evening, I've been observing him and looking at him, and I get this awful feeling like he has no idea what's about to happen.. 
 I wanted neutering to be an easy choice, made when I would be mentally ready to proceed with.. Now, it feels like "punishment" and I know it isn't the case! But neutering as a consequence of his acting out, gives me the feeling of punishment. 


I really must weigh pros instead of cons regarding the procedure. Again, I feel guilty.. 

Could it be because, he came into my life at a very difficult time, when everything changed (to the worst) so rapidly, and he was the reason I kept sane? When everything crampled down, failed at just about anything, he was my "success story".. So, now that he has done this, I feel like I failed him. I wasn't that sad even when he attacked me. But doing that to my mom? And seeing her so helpless and hurt..? It was too much.. 

I know certain things will be corrected and eventually it'll be good for him. I guess my real fear is "what if, in spite of the neutering, he attacks us again?". Of course, the reason why I want to run some tests is exactly this. I don't know, I'm all confused.. 
 
 

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 I really understand how you're feeling with Grizzly. I've worked with really difficult/damaged horses. Making headway means so, so much, and major issues appearing after you've built such a bond and worked so hard really is like being kicked in the stomach. We invest so much emotional energy in our animals - when things go wrong it can feel like the world crashing down around us. You can get through this.

Neutering is most definitely NOT a punishment. I know it may feel like that to you, but you're doing it for his health and happiness. At the moment, any female in the area who's in heat will be torture for him. One of his most basic drives is procreation. It's actually far kinder to him to remove that option. He'll be calmer, more chilled, happier. I've always spayed and neutered my animals. Its one of the best ways to keep them healthy and safe. Also, look at it from this viewpoint - at the moment, if Grizzly gets out he could sire several litters of kittens in just one afternoon. Greece already has a feral cat problem. Do you really want to risk being responsible for yet more unwanted kittens being brought into the world?

Neutering isn't a quick fix, a magic bullet. Nothing is. It will level Grizzly out a bit, and help him relax. That's all. If you go into neutering thinking it will fix things by itself then you'll be disappointed. Grizzly will still be Grizzly, with all his quirks. He'll just be a little calmer, and less driven to get out.

With the Bach Flower Remedies - basically I need a personality/behaviour profile. When I talk about motivations/emotions its things like the difference between being scared of something specific (such as fireworks) and being scared in general - without any obvious trigger.

I did a bit of hunting earlier. It looks like you can get Bach Flower Remedies here http://www.familypharmacy.gr/bach-f...3Lb88dvGXVGGgiD7IPT2D6hg4ASM4kz7fEaAkap8P8HAQ
 
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grizzlysapien

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OK, @Columbine.. I really want  you to find a needle I once lost in a haystack
.. How on earth did you find Bach's remedies in a Greek e-shop?? You're quite the detective 
 I will contact them to see if I can order the ones that are developed for animals. The link was about the ones that are made for humans. I don't know if they use the same fragrances and oils (?)


I agree on everything you wrote on your last reply. I am concerned how long will it take Grizzly to start changing his attitude. And what else can I do to help him adapt to a more acceptable behaviour. When I first got him, I was "I won't handle him as a pet, but as a roomate". So, yeah, I trained him in some things.. But, not all cats (or beings in general) are the same.. So, if he didn't like something, I wouldn't push him. And he would adapt to not push us with things we didn't like. But that was easier when he was little. As he grew up, I'm guessing hormones started taking over, so, he started obeying less, testing our limits in a way. I managed to tame him most of the times. Other times, he would just bite, scratch, "charge" etc.. My answer at those cases was pure indifference. Like "Oh, you are in the room? You're headbanging me? Oh, now you want to snuggle? I couldn't care less!" and he would go back to being the sweet weird-looking little kitty I once adopted.. 

After this incident, I followed the "indifferent" method for the first 1,5 day. Actually, I couldn't do otherwise, cause I was still in shock. Then, as I was describing in my posts, he seemed "blue", without confidence, not much appetite (if not at all), really quiet etc. So, I started a little "pampering", so that he feels he is still loved and he is not in danger of being thrown out or anything.. I feel like this could be a good period to get "re-acquainted". To be more of a "mom" to him. 

I'm getting the impression that after his attack firstly on me and then on my mom, he might think he is the "boss", in some ways? I don't know if I'm wrong, but after both of the incidents, we were the ones bleeding and he was just confined.. I wouldn't hurt him just to show him what that's like, but I'm guessing, if I leave it this way, it won't be a great lesson for him, and he might repeat it. 

Any thoughts on that ^ ?

**UPDATE**

Today, was the 1st attempt to bring my mother into the "neutral zone" of the appartment.. She was willing, actually! Didn't take much to persuade her.. She sat on the sofa and what did Grizzly do? HE LEFT! Turned his back and went out to the balcony to play with the water hose. 
 My mom called for him, but he was like "meh"... 
  I told her not to call for him and let him approach her.. So, after he was done with the water hose, he came in and decided to say "hello" to my mom.. His way of saying "hello" or "let's play!", is pouncing and standing on his back legs, double tapping your arm with his front paws (no claws). At first, it seems like a bit of attacking, so my mom got afraid and quickly left the sofa and went back to her room. She thought he was about to attack her again. I could actually see the huge questionmark hanging over his head.. He ran after her, meowing.. Then I picked him up and took him back to the balcony, distracting him  with some toys.. He went along, but he seemed puzzled.. I went to my mom, trying to explain. She was like "yes, I know, but I got frightened. I don't know what to expect of him. What if he can smell the blood on the wounds?" etc.. We made a 2nd attempt 2 hours later.. My idea was for all of us to sit at the balcony, chilling.. My mom, was on her way, but when Grizzly saw her, he got up to "welcome" her.. My mom got frightened again, thinking that he was running towards her to harm her again.. 


So, we decided it would be a better idea if we tried it again after the surgery.. 

After these 2 attempts, Grizzly is more puzzled than ever. He is anxious, confused.. I tried playing with him, lifting his spirit.. He scratched me during playtime. Nothing much, but it wasn't by accident.. I guess, he was mad, which was expected. I didn't react at all, just stopped playing. 

I arranged for the surgery first thing in the morning. My vet asked me to not feed him for 12 hours prior, maybe just some water cause of the heatwave and that can only be 8-9 hours prior. She told me to leave him there, let her care for him for the first few hours after the surgery, just to be sure he's OK, and I can go and pick him up in the afternoon.. 

The "fun fact" is that, due to the heatwave Grizzly doesn't eat during the day, but after the sun sets, when it's cooler (slightly! I'm sweating right now). So, with this arrangement, I managed to forbid Grizzly to eat at the actual hours he CAN eat.. Thankfully, I managed to make him eat some of his favorite wetfood.. By 9 in the morning tomorrow, he'll be in starvation for 14 hours straight 
 IF I'm alive until then.. 


So, I have avoided turning on the air condition, so as to be hot in here.. and he doesn't have much appetite.. He's sleeping in my lap right now.. But, I know, he'll start to get cranky withing the next few hours.. Needless to say, I won't eat or drink as well, so I don't make it harder on him.. and of course, I won't sleep, cause I'm a little worried.. What if he gets cranky enough to want to take a bite off me, while I'm asleep? 


So, If any of you want to join me in my wake  
 you are more than welcome!
 
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grizzlysapien

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OK, so no one joined me to my "wake" last night .. (thanks! LOL) And I struggled through the night to keep my eyes wide open and being alert! 

(Only kidding, you guys have been supporting me and my stupidity the whole way and I am gratefull)

I didn't get any sleep.. Grizzly, though, slept almost through the night.. 
 I left him at the vet's this morning and I will go and pick him up in about 1-2 hours. I'm just waiting for my mom to finish her shift at the hospital.


But I just called the vet and everything went well with Grizzly's surgery 
 She performed additional tests to look for any health issue. She says that Grizzly is a perfectly healthy AND FIT
 kitty and that I have been doing a great job with him.. healthwise... 'Cause regarding the "neutering issue", I was the FAIL of the year.. Queen of the irresponsibles! I should make a movie about it.. I'll have Angelina Jolie play me.. 
 
 

margd

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Oh rats, I forgot that you were going to be up worrying about Grizzly! 
  I'm glad to hear that he is okay and that the surgery went well.   Now I hope you can get some rest! You've had way too much on your plate recently.  Your poor mother.  
  It will take her awhile to get over this but I hope Grizzly being neutered makes things easier for everyone. 
 
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grizzlysapien

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LOL, that's OK @Margd  
 Thanks, though!


All we need now is patience, patience aaaand patience..

It was indeed too much on my plate but thankfully, it lasted for just over a week. If it was e.g. one incident per week, I'd go nuts.. The way things happened, every matter needed an urgent solution, so I never "got down off the horse" per say.. Right now, almost everything is back in order and I'm preping myself for what I should do next, regarding Grizzly. As I said in a previous post, we'll have to get re-acquainted.. So, now that everything that came up, found its solution, I'll have more time and energy to exclusively deal with Grizzly's needs.. 
 
 

kkoerner

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I'm so glad things seem to be going better! Grizzly should be happier now that he is neutered, gradually because it can take 2-3 weeks for those hormones to leave his system completely. :)
 
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grizzlysapien

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Thanks @KKoerner  
 How's Cadbury doing? 


I got Grizzly back from the vet and I'm puzzled.. For various reasons..

First of all, my vet works in collaboration with her father who is also a vet. Once her father saw my mom's wounds, he said "well that's not normal. I've seen wounds on other people but nothing like that. We should keep an eye on him to see how he's doing"... As you can understand, it gave me the chills. Then his daughter, Grizzly's vet, explained the situation in detail to her father, so to explain Grizzly's behaviour on the process.. He just stood there troubled.

The vet also told me that we should keep an eye on Grizzly's weight. The bloodwork results hadn't come back from the lab yet, but she will email them to me as soon as she gets them. She suggested that I should perform a deworm treatment on Grizzly. I asked her why would she say that he is so healthy and fit etc.. And she said that it's very obvious that you keep him active and overall he's fine. But he does seem a bit thin. She wants to exclude the fact that it might be a problem with his muscles (I'm guessing, she's talking about atrophy), so just to be on the safe side, I should deworm him 1st. Actually it was time I did it (we do it every 3-6 months tops, for safety).

The fact is that Grizzly was always tall and thin, but heavy. I mean, he is "muscly" in a way, but not "chunky". So, maybe she has seen something she's not telling me yet, just to not worry me more? 
 
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