Thinking of sheltering my cat

Well...the headline states it. I have been on the board now for the same amount of time I have had my cat. He is a handful. If I can't figure these problems out soon then I have to find him a new home or shelter him. He is causing so much stress in my life and it is falling back to him getting worse because I am stressed. My cat is anti social, except for food of course. So the issues...

1 - 5 scale issue. 1 Least priority, 5 high priority.

1. He poops in front and in his litter box. (About a 2)

Well...There is a mat in front of his box and he ALWAYS poops on that. I tried so many things with no luck. Bigger litter box, new litter. Nothing helps.

2. Scratcher...(About a 5)

My cat has plenty of items to scratch but still chooses the couch from time to time. That really irritates me. I understand the cat is stress but this is driving me crazy.

I know this doesn't seem like much but this is really stressing me out. He doesn't love us, we can't pet him. My girlfriend and I are at our wits end. What do I do?  What did I do wrong? This cat makes me feel terrible. I try to feed him and play with him but nothing works to build a relationship with this animal. I know he has been through a lot for still being closed to a kitten (about 12-13 months old), but I just dont know how to rehab this behavior. Please help. 

His pictures: http://www.thecatsite.com/g/a/235442/uno-the-one-eyed-black-cat

Have you tried removing the mat in front of the litter box? 

As for the scratching, cats do scratch furniture sometimes. It's just a thing you have to accept. you can enourage scratching elsewhere by putting a cat tree or things to scratch near the couch. 

To build a bond with your cat you need to be calm. Find out what he likes, use that. Let him come to you. Some cats just aren't cuddly. In fact, most cats aren't cuddly. Make sure he has moments and places to hide and be left alone when he needs to. Encourage him to explore the house by leaving treats out in different places.

None of these reasons seem like good reasons to rehome your cat to be fair. The only good reason to rehome a cat is if the animal would have a better quality of life in an other home. Here you're just not complying with the responsibility of having a pet and want to let someone else handle your pet's issues. 

I really hope you can change your mind and try to work with this kitty.  As stated above, you and your girl friend need to be calm.  Cats pick on the stress of their owners.  Have you tried a feliway diffuser or composure to help the calm with his stress? 

About the litter box, definitely remove the mat to see what happens.  How many litter boxes do you have?  It might help to add another.  Is the litter box hooded or open?  Have you tried Dr. Elsey's Litter Attract?  You can sprinkle some into the current litter and see if it helps.  Also when he does poop outside the box, try burying the poop into the box.  This will often attract the cat to the box.  Are you using a good enzymatic cleaner to clean up the scent of the poop.  Not just cover up the scent, but remove the scent to the cat.  You may not smell it, but the cat will. 

As far as scratching, you can look into soft paws.  They fit over the cats claws and prevent scratching.  Yet, cats scratch especially when stressed.  Try different scratches such as horizontal  mats and vertical posts.  Put some cat nip on them and see if that will attract him to it.  You may have to try a variety of textures to find one he likes.  A feliway diffuser might help here too.

As far as play, what have you tried?  Do you have a da bird wand toy or a laser pointer?  Or even just start with a shoe string.  If you cover part of the string and pull slowly then quickly, many cats will love this.  Try different toys.  Also try to play by sitting or sitting on the floor at his level so you are not looming over him.  Standing over a cat is very threatening.

Cats take a long time to adjust and it also takes work and effort on your part.  Please consider working with him and giving him a chance. 

Have you tried sitting on the floor and offering a special yummy treat.  Try plain cooked chicken or canned tuna.  Offer a bit and see if he will come close.  If not offer a bit and allow him to have it.  Next toss him a piece and see if he will come closer and closer.  Back off of trying to pet him for now.  Allow him to trust you first.

What is happening when he poops outside the box and scratches the furniture?  Are you yelling at him, getting upset, putting him in a room of his own?  Cats do not respond well to punishment.  Instead it teaches them to fear you.  Cats work best by distracting and removing them from the situation.

Play therapy is usually a winner, but it takes time to build trust between the two of you. 

I do think that if you are so stressed that you cannot love this cat despite his personality defects. then you should rehome him if possible to someone willing to work with him.  I took one in as a rescue in that situation, the woman's vet had actually suggested it would be better for both of them to part ways, and between changing the cat's litter to sWheat Scoop (which is soft and the cat, a purebred Ragdoll, had been declawed by the owner despite the breeders requirement NOT to declaw the cat!) and also giving her a calm environment where she was loved and nobody was angry at her cured her out-of-box problems immediately.  She was later rehomed to a couple who adored her and has had zero problems. 

Cats are mirrors and reflect what you put into them.  Sometimes you have to put in a lot of love before they love you back, especially the ferals and some purebreds who were raised in cages or in their own rooms rather than underfoot with a family.  Other cats are just immediately loving but usually because they were already raised with love by someone else. 

ShadowsRescue said:

 
I really hope you can change your mind and try to work with this kitty.  As stated above, you and your girl friend need to be calm.  Cats pick on the stress of their owners.  Have you tried a feliway diffuser or composure to help the calm with his stress? 

About the litter box, definitely remove the mat to see what happens.  How many litter boxes do you have?  It might help to add another.  Is the litter box hooded or open?  Have you tried Dr. Elsey's Litter Attract?  You can sprinkle some into the current litter and see if it helps.  Also when he does poop outside the box, try burying the poop into the box.  This will often attract the cat to the box.  Are you using a good enzymatic cleaner to clean up the scent of the poop.  Not just cover up the scent, but remove the scent to the cat.  You may not smell it, but the cat will. 

As far as scratching, you can look into soft paws.  They fit over the cats claws and prevent scratching.  Yet, cats scratch especially when stressed.  Try different scratches such as horizontal  mats and vertical posts.  Put some cat nip on them and see if that will attract him to it.  You may have to try a variety of textures to find one he likes.  A feliway diffuser might help here too.

As far as play, what have you tried?  Do you have a da bird wand toy or a laser pointer?  Or even just start with a shoe string.  If you cover part of the string and pull slowly then quickly, many cats will love this.  Try different toys.  Also try to play by sitting or sitting on the floor at his level so you are not looming over him.  Standing over a cat is very threatening.

Cats take a long time to adjust and it also takes work and effort on your part.  Please consider working with him and giving him a chance. 

Have you tried sitting on the floor and offering a special yummy treat.  Try plain cooked chicken or canned tuna.  Offer a bit and see if he will come close.  If not offer a bit and allow him to have it.  Next toss him a piece and see if he will come closer and closer.  Back off of trying to pet him for now.  Allow him to trust you first.

What is happening when he poops outside the box and scratches the furniture?  Are you yelling at him, getting upset, putting him in a room of his own?  Cats do not respond well to punishment.  Instead it teaches them to fear you.  Cats work best by distracting and removing them from the situation.

Play therapy is usually a winner, but it takes time to build trust between the two of you. 

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I do want to work with this cat. I really like him when he is just being his cat self and being around. He can be overwelming is all.

The mat in front of his litter box was put there because he pooped on the floor occasionally. I think his is is that he waits to go poop or he just has a sudden urge to do so. Sometimes he sprints to the box like a bat outta hell. He also doesn't go...solid. so that also is a reason why the mat is there. It is a closed box but its a "custom" litter box. Its a tote with a hole for the cat. I can take the top off.  The litter we use is really close the the Sweat Scoop. Maybe we will try that.

Play time... The only time he will play is with the cat nip bubbles we have. He is extremely afraid of string toys. He wont play with the toy balls we got him while we are around but he will bat them around while he is left alone and while we are away. So hardly any play. We ca't find the right toy. He is scared of the lazer...he is a genuine scardy cart.

He does come out and get treats from us and will come to us for food. He wont let any touch happen though. he does not like that. He will swat the little plate of tuna out of our hand if its low enough so he can get it faster. He is kinda a jerk with food. We have only had him 3 months too. We sit with him all the time but he seems to prefer to be off by himself. Hopefully there is something I am missing that you all can help me figure out.

Can you give a little back ground on the cat such as where the cat came from before you? 

I would definitely take the lid off the box.  He might be frightened of being trapped inside.  Take the lid off so he can see all around him.  Also you say his poop is not solid.  How long has it not been solid?  Has the cat been to the vet since you took possession of him? What are you feeding him? He might need to see a vet.  Also is he neutered?

You need to start by winning his trust.  He is not being a jerk about food.  He sounds as though he was a cat possibly a stray or semi feral that had to find his own food.  He is first off scared of your hand and second off he is scared that he won't get to the food fast enough before it is taken away or another cat eats it.  If he was a stray his way of eating was always difficult. 

I believe if you truly want to work with this cat, you need to first calm yourself and your girlfriend and make a plan.  It is not going to be easy.  If you are not up for the task, it would be best for him to find a new home.  You first need to understand where he came from and what he has been through previous to you owning him.  He needs love and patience.  He needs daily work and lots of daily work.  Does he hide under things or does he like to be up high?  Do you have a cat tree or window perch for him to look outside?

Hopefully we can help you here.  Let us know some of the answers to the questions.

Here is the story about Uno. http://www.thecatsite.com/t/298968/...you-and-your-favorite-shelter/30#post_3760102

I have posted before. He is 13 months or so old now.

Has is always been liquid?

Yes, The shelter we adopted from said he does better with grain free. I asked what food they had and they said they don't know...just whatever was donated.  Now he is on Blue Buffalo Grain Free kitten food.

Is he fixed? 

Yes.

Does he hide under things or does he like to be up high?  

He prefers to hid but he does sit in the window.

Do you have a cat tree or window perch for him to look outside?

He does have a perch in from of the window. He scratches that post too.

Has he been to the vet?

Not recently. He was taken to the vet upon going to the shelter.  you'll see from the story attached to the link I posted, he has been through a lot. 

The Feeding....

I believe he may eat "like a stray." He does scarf his found quick BUT that is only with wet food when we set it down. His dry food sits for some time and he eats slowly.

I am up to the task and I do want to keep him. I feel terrible because of what he went through. 

I really appreciate the help and love the answers. Anything that can help is appreciated.

Oh my that is one of the saddest stories.  He has been through so much. 

So now that I know the back story it does help.  You first have to really really really lower your expectations.  This cat has been through h*ll and back.  He has had next to know socialization skills.  He is truly lucky to be alive.  You will be his forever angel just for giving him a chance.  The first thing I would do is start to get him used to a carrier.  You really need to get him to a vet or call the rescue group and see if he was wormed.  He may have worms and need to be dewormed.  You might be able to get some from the rescue group or from a vet without them seeing him right now.  I would set up a carrier and try to feed him in it.  Start with the food just outside the carrier and then move just inside.  Move it just a bit each day until it's in the back.  This may be the easiest way to get him in a carrier if you cannot touch him. 

As far as feeding, he doesn't need to be on kitten food.  He is 13 months and should be on adult food.  The kitten food might be too rich and might be causing some of his soft stool.  Try adult food in wet and dry.  It is ok if he only wants to eat wet food.  It is nutritionally best for him.  Watch how much you are giving him.  I would think that 1-2 5.5 oz cans of adult cat food should be plenty.

Take the cover off the litter box and if needed try some Dr. Elsey's Litter Attract mixed in.  This might encourage him to use the box.  Yet, if he has soft stool from worms which he might since you mentioned he sometimes runs to the box.  Also get another box or two.  You can get rid of them later, but scatter them around.  He might prefer another location.  You can use sterlite under the bed storage boxes.  They are about 25"long x 18" wide x 5" deep.  You can get them at Target or Walmart for under $10  They make great litter boxes.

I am going to post a video that is a 3 part series of the rescue and socialization of feral kittens.  Watch the part on the socialization.  There are lots of good tips you can use.  Yep he's not a small kitten, but I used a lot of these tips on a 7-9 month old feral and it worked really well.  Try the Gerber stage 2 baby food and also the touching toy.  I used a small feather wand and would start to touch my boy with the feather.  It helped to get him used to touch.  Here is the feather wand
Here is the videos:

http://www.urbancatleague.org/TamingVideo

You will need sooooooo much patience.  Each time you get upset with him, please remember what he has been through.  He may never be a cuddly lap kitty, but he can learn to appreciate human contact and love.  I brought a feral/stray into my home 2 years ago.  It took him one solid year to adjust.  He now is very loving and enjoys pets.  He hates to be picked up, but will sit next to me.  It took him 6 months or more to learn to eat slowly and to realize there would always be food. 

I know you can do this, but please please please have love and patience.  I would really suggest some feliway diffusers and some Composure liquid max calming supplement.  You also can look into Jackson Galaxy's Spirit Essences.  They are flower essences that can be placed on the cat, in the cats food or misted around the room.  I have used a few of the essences with good luck.  It really might help to take the edge off.

We are here to help so ask questions.  Thank you for taking the time to help Uno.

Thank you so much.

About the toy. He is very afraid of the string toy he has now.

This is pretty much what he has: http://www.petsmart.com/cat/toys/gr...-catid-200021?var_id=36-11231&_t=pfm=category

However there is no string. Its just the fuzzy end on the rod. He is scared of it and hides.

What else could I try to engage him?

Seabear said:

 
Thank you so much.

About the toy. He is very afraid of the string toy he has now.

This is pretty much what he has: http://www.petsmart.com/cat/toys/gr...-catid-200021?var_id=36-11231&_t=pfm=category

However there is no string. Its just the fuzzy end on the rod. He is scared of it and hides.

What else could I try to engage him?

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For now I would only try very basic no cost toys.  Try taking a shoe string and laying it all stretched out.  Then cover it so only the ends are showing with a small towel.  While Uno is watching, pull the string very slowly, then faster if he acts interested.  It took my feral quite a few months to get interested in toys.  Yet he loved catnip toys which he could play with by himself. 

I would try to win his love and trust first.  When he is more comfortable try toys.  Work with food since he seems to be food motivated.  The baby food is usually a winner.  Cats love it and it's often referred to as "Kitty Crack".  Just be sure to get the kind in the small jar with the blue label.  You want turkey or chicken and the only ingredients are turkey or chicken and water ( there might be food starch).  Just no added sugar or spices.  You can start with some on a plate.  Move the plate closer and closer.  See where his challenge line is.  Allow him the freedom to stop.  Yet each day try a bit farther.  Don't try to pet him, just talk softly.  Tell him he is safe and loved.  After a few days ( or longer) move the plate close to you.  Still no pets.  Next step is to eat it off a spoon.  You might have to start with the spoon on the plate first.  Just keep working. 

Make sure your girlfriend takes a turn too.  You don't want to overwhelm him, but you want him used to you both.  Maybe work 1:1, but take turns.  Keep your voice quiet and assuring. 

Most of all Uno needs love, consistency and patience. 

Well, he already eats off plates and spoons with his wet food. We have been treating those as treats and doing it in small doses because he eats it so quick. do you literally mean baby food?

Seabear said:

 
Well, he already eats off plates and spoons with his wet food. We have been treating those as treats and doing it in small doses because he eats it so quick. do you literally mean baby food?

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Yes, did you watch the videos?  You will see them giving the kittens Gerber stage 2 baby food.  It is used as a training tool.  Eating off a spoon held by a human is a good step. 

I am a bit confused as to what he is eating?  Is it a mixture of wet food and dry food?  Is it all kitten food?  It's ok if he eats fast as long as he's not throwing up.  He will settle down in time.  He probably had a lot of competition for food.  It will settle.  Wet food is best if you can afford it.

ShadowsRescue said:

 
You will need sooooooo much patience.  Each time you get upset with him, please remember what he has been through.  He may never be a cuddly lap kitty, but he can learn to appreciate human contact and love.  I brought a feral/stray into my home 2 years ago.  It took him one solid year to adjust.  He now is very loving and enjoys pets.  He hates to be picked up, but will sit next to me.  It took him 6 months or more to learn to eat slowly and to realize there would always be food. 

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All ShadowsRescue's advice is great. I just wanted to add that our two cats, who came from an apartment with too many cats and were underfed, also took significant time to adjust to the two of us. We've had them for about a year and a half now and it finally feels like they are really, truly a part of the household and fully comfortable with us. They've gradually gotten friendlier and friendlier but they were either pretty shy or a little aggressive (jumping on backs) in their first months. Sitting on the floor and letting them come to us was one of the best things we did. Our cats also had a lot of food issues.

Originally Posted by Schrody  

Some cats just aren't cuddly. In fact, most cats aren't cuddly. Make sure he has moments and places to hide and be left alone when he needs to.

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This is so true! I had a great cat years ago who wasn't cuddly at all: she was an inner-city Philadelphia stray and had probably been through a lot. She wouldn't let me pick her up at all and only ever sat on my lap twice but she turned into an incredibly affectionate cat who slept by my feet every night and followed me around the apartment.

ShadowsRescue said:

 
Yes, did you watch the videos?  You will see them giving the kittens Gerber stage 2 baby food.  It is used as a training tool.  Eating off a spoon held by a human is a good step. 

I am a bit confused as to what he is eating?  Is it a mixture of wet food and dry food?  Is it all kitten food?  It's ok if he eats fast as long as he's not throwing up.  He will settle down in time.  He probably had a lot of competition for food.  It will settle.  Wet food is best if you can afford it.

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I watched the videos. He is eating a mix of kitten dry food, which I am going to move to adult food, and  wet food. We use the Blue Buffalo brand. He has been eating off our hand for some time with the wet food. He is a bit of a brat though. He is always trying to get the food away from us to eat it. He tries to knock it from our hands or bowls. I haven't picked up the baby food yet but maybe that will get him to be nicer so we can hand feed. He has only thrown up once but this when we first got him.

good news though, I was a bit nervous about him getting into his carrier for the vet, but I have been leaving it out and open and put some wet food in there and he isn't afraid of it. Should prove less difficult to get him to the vet.

Seabear said:

 

ShadowsRescue said:

 
Yes, did you watch the videos?  You will see them giving the kittens Gerber stage 2 baby food.  It is used as a training tool.  Eating off a spoon held by a human is a good step. 

I am a bit confused as to what he is eating?  Is it a mixture of wet food and dry food?  Is it all kitten food?  It's ok if he eats fast as long as he's not throwing up.  He will settle down in time.  He probably had a lot of competition for food.  It will settle.  Wet food is best if you can afford it.

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I watched the videos. He is eating a mix of kitten dry food, which I am going to move to adult food, and  wet food. We use the Blue Buffalo brand. He has been eating off our hand for some time with the wet food. He is a bit of a brat though. He is always trying to get the food away from us to eat it. He tries to knock it from our hands or bowls. I haven't picked up the baby food yet but maybe that will get him to be nicer so we can hand feed. He has only thrown up once but this when we first got him.

good news though, I was a bit nervous about him getting into his carrier for the vet, but I have been leaving it out and open and put some wet food in there and he isn't afraid of it. Should prove less difficult to get him to the vet.

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He's really not being a brat.  Please try to remember what he has been through.  Do you know what his life was like before he was living at the shelter?  He may have been a stray that had to find his own food.  Cats will often grab food and run to eat it so no other cat will take it.  Please be patient with him.  He is not doing this on purpose or to be a brat.  He is doing this out of survival instinct and this will stop over time.  Each and every feral/stray cat that I have worked with has done this.  Usually after a few months of getting regular food, the cat will get better.  Just try your best to not get upset with him.  Speak softly to him and tell him that he is safe with you and that there will always be plenty of food.

I would switch him to adult food as he doesn't need all of the extra calories from the kitten food.  Just switch it over slowly so he doesn't get an upset stomach.  Just mix a bit of the adult in each day until you are feeding strictly adult.  This should take a week or so.

Great job on the carrier.  Just keep feeding him in there or placing treats in there daily.  Make sure that when you place food or treats into the carrier that he tolerates you being close by the carrier.  Remember you will have to get there quickly and close the door.  When I did this with my feral, I would place his food in the carrier and then sit right next to it.  This got him used to me being right there.  On the morning of the appt. I used an old piece of dry wall to block the exit.  I also have used a sturdy chair pad.  Once he is inside the carrier, try placing a sheet or towel over the carrier if he seems agitated.  This usually will help to calm them down.  Just keep the carrier covered until you get to the vet.

I am always by the carrier when he eats in it. I will work a bit more. I hope the vet will help me out with is pooping. Maybe there is something wrong. I should have him in on Wednesday or Thursday.

He may have worms or some intestinal inbalance. With rescues, they come from broken homes if they even ever had a home. It takes time and patience, I won't lie to you, some never do come around but the majority do settle in nicely.

I was thinking he may have worms too.  Sometimes it takes many rounds of worming meds to get rid of them.  Be sure to take in a stool sample.

ShadowsRescue said:

 
I was thinking he may have worms too.  Sometimes it takes many rounds of worming meds to get rid of them.  Be sure to take in a stool sample.

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Really?   Good thing I like this cat. Should I try and keep the litter off it?

Seabear said:

 

ShadowsRescue said:

 
I was thinking he may have worms too.  Sometimes it takes many rounds of worming meds to get rid of them.  Be sure to take in a stool sample.

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Really? 

 Good thing I like this cat. Should I try and keep the litter off it?

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No, the vet is used to stool with litter on it.  It's pretty standard procedure too when a cat is seen for a check up, they will usually ask for a stool sample.  Don't worry about the litter.  Just use a zip lock and keep it in the fridge if you get it ahead of time.