Hello there to everyone! I want to tell my story with a stray/ feral cat. I live in a big city for 3 years and I first started to feed Smaragda at the end of first year after many months of slow approach. The next year after many more months of slow trusting Smaragda finally let me pet her she was coming in my balcony, every time I open my doors, of course after a while she was leaving, but i was happy for being there even for an hour. She is a female and she became pregnant a lot, but she was never bring her kitties in my home or near me. Anyway, 2 months ago she was pregnant again and after she gave birth she came with her baby kitties, meanwhile she became ill, she had diarrhea and quite bad actually. She would not let me touch her and she would not eat the pill with the food, that my vet gave me to have. Meanwhile she defecated all over the kitties and the balcony, it's got to the point that I had to clean the area immediately. But that moment that I decided that, i understood that i had to clean the kitties first and then the floors, so I clean the kitties with a wet towel and bring them in my home for a few, that moment Smaragda returns and she tries to go to the kitties, but i had not finished yet, so I did not let her in the balcony. After everything was set, she began to take the kitties, when i realise it I became mad and grab her and toss her a few feet away. After that she took the kitties and she did not came back again. I see her in the neighborhood and she lets me occasionally feed her in the park but thats that. PLEASE TELL WHAT TO DO, I am desperate and I cry every night after the unfortunate event. I know that I have never been mad with her, but I want to make it up to her!