New cat introduction: too much play wrestling?

Two weeks ago I adopted a 1 year old male (domestic shorthair) named Diego to join me and Memphis, my 11 month old tortie/calico. I went through all the proper introductions steps (scent swapping, feeding across the door, etc) and Diego was in the bathroom for the first few days, and then he switched to the living room (which has a door that closes). He and Memphis have had supervised playtime, in which they’ve shared food and water dishes (even though they have their own), used each other’s litter boxes, and generally seem to be getting along. However… they play wrestle/fight a lot. Almost constantly until they get too tired and usually lay down next to each other and chill.

No one is hissing, ears are in friendly positions 95% of the time, they take breaks (they'll literally stop in the middle of wrestling to groom themselves), claws are not out. They run around the house, chase each other under the bed, where sometimes they'll wrestle or sometimes they just lie there, hanging out together. 

Sometimes tails get fluffy but there are no angry noises, just murmuring meows (think Gizmo from Gremlins noise). 

There is biting although not actual biting, just play biting like kittens do. Memphis has also licked Diego to get his attention They sniff each others noses and behinds a lot too. When it starts to get too aggressive I’ll walk in the room and say HEY and they just stop and look at me with big eyes like "Oops, we were caught". 

They seem to be enjoying themselves, but Memphis appears to be the instigator most of the time. She loves to be chased so she seems to be doing things to Diego to egg him on (pouncing, licking, tapping, etc)

Should I let them sort this out on their own? I’m thinking one of them might be trying to establish dominance. Memphis is the queen bee (she’s a sassy tortie) but she’s also only 6lbs whereas Diego is closer to 11lbs. 

I have a Feliway diffuser and I’ve been using Spirit Essences in their water. I have a cat tree in the living room and various other vertical places (Kitty Cot, etc). 

I’ve been letting them spend time together while I’m home but have been keeping them separated while I’m at work. They seem to miss each other while they’re separated and Diego usually tries to escape to be with Memphis when I enter the living room, however I don’t know if this is because he wants playtime or he just wants to explore the rest of the house.

I’ve heard that cats shouldn’t be playing like this once they’re out of the kitten stage and it can lead to serious aggression later - it could make it harder for them to get along down the road if they’re having play aggression now. 

My two run around the house playing with each other multiple times each day.  They are 5 and 7.  Cats do like to play with each other and it is a great way for them to burn off energy. 

While you are home I would definitely be letting them out and about together.  You are there to supervise.  I would bet they are fine while you are gone too, but start by letting them out together all of the time while you are home.  Your cats are still young and they obviously enjoy each other.  Let me play!!

You would only need to separate them if they play turns aggressive.  Yet their play sounds like pure fun.  It is not uncommon to have one cat that is the instigator.  It's usually the Alpha cat.

Also are both cats spayed/neutered?

Thanks for responding! Yes, both cats are spayed and neutered. I let them run around and play last night while I was home but they were making so much noise last night around midnight I put Memphis in my room, where she usually sleeps, and let Diego have the rest of the house. I woke up and they were playing with their paws under the door. They wrestled and chased a bunch this morning before breakfast until they were both super tired. My plan was to leave them together today but a garbage truck noise freaked out Diego (he's very sensitive to noise) and he was camped out under the couch. I let him have the living room with the door closed today so he could relax - it's his safe space and I could tell this noise really stressed him out. 

One thing I've noticed too is that Diego only uses the cat tree when he has the living room to himself. Should I be concerned that Memphis isn't letting him share the tree? There are other vertical spaces for him to be in the room but he only uses them when he's alone. It's a big enough tree for them both to share it but Memphis seems to rule the tree when they're both in the living room - she usually paws at him when he gets close. 

One cat will be the Alpha cat and when the Alpha cat is using the tree, the other cat may not want to be that close.  Cats are very territorial and often do not share spaces well.  This can change as they spend more time together.  I have 3 cat trees in my house for my 2 indoor boys.  They have been living together for 2 years now.  It was just a few months ago that the non alpha cat started using the cat tree when the Alpha cat was not there.  If the Alpha cat comes and wants to use the tree, they have worked out who sleeps where.  It just takes time.

Try not to intervene.  Cats don't understand sharing.  In the cat world there needs to be an alpha cat.  It's what cats do. The cat is not being mean, he's just being the alpha.  The cats will learn to divvy up space.

If they are making too much noise at night, you may want to keep them separated.  Yet if they spend time together out and about all day, they may choose to play a lot and tire each other out.

You are fortunate they get along so well.

That totally makes sense. Thank you!  

Question for you since you have 2 cats - what's your litter box situation? 

I have currently two boxes, one in the living room and one in the bathroom. They are both exclusively using the box in the bathroom (unless Diego is in the living room during the day) and so far have no problems sharing. After Diego is fully integrated into the household I'm hoping to get rid of the 2nd box if no one is using it. I know the rule is 2 boxes for 2 cats but if they're both exclusively using the same box, is 1 box for 2 cats okay?

memphisthecat said:

 
That totally makes sense. Thank you!  

Question for you since you have 2 cats - what's your litter box situation? 

I have currently two boxes, one in the living room and one in the bathroom. They are both exclusively using the box in the bathroom (unless Diego is in the living room during the day) and so far have no problems sharing. After Diego is fully integrated into the household I'm hoping to get rid of the 2nd box if no one is using it. I know the rule is 2 boxes for 2 cats but if they're both exclusively using the same box, is 1 box for 2 cats okay?

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The golden rule for litter boxes is 1 per cat plus one extra.  So for 2 cats, you actually need 3.  I have 3.  One on my main floor and one in two rooms on the second floor.  All get used and cleaned daily.  I would not get rid of the 2nd box.  It's better to have too many than not enough.  Maybe try to find another location for the box in the bathroom.  I use a guest room and closet in my sons room for the 2nd floor litter boxes.  If you have a small space then it will need to be the bathroom.  Cats prefer a lot of privacy and a place where humans won't disturb them.  The bathroom might be too busy.

Keep up the great work.  Your love and concern for your cats is to be commended.

I have a 1-bedroom apartment and space is limited - they seem to prefer the box in the bathroom, I think the living room is too high-traffic. Closet is a great idea though!

Thanks so much for your sweet compliment

This is my first post. I have two new kitties, 13 week old Thespis and 9 week old Aria. Both have been fixed. They seem to like to play and bait one another. Thespis usually ends up on top of Aria, and bites her throat a lot. Kind of freaks me out! How do I know when it's play vs. fight? Sometimes they're both puffed, and sometimes just Aria is or her tail is down and ears are flat.....

2kittiesohmy said:

 
This is my first post. I have two new kitties, 13 week old Thespis and 9 week old Aria. Both have been fixed. They seem to like to play and bait one another. Thespis usually ends up on top of Aria, and bites her throat a lot. Kind of freaks me out! How do I know when it's play vs. fight? Sometimes they're both puffed, and sometimes just Aria is or her tail is down and ears are flat.....

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In order to get some really great responses it would be best if you start a new thread.  Near the top of this page you should see something with a blue tab that states "Start a new thread"  That way others will see your question too.

You want to watch for body language.  Such as poofed out tails, flat ear, tails swishing.  Yet cats can do all of this with play behavior.  With an all out fight, you might see fur and lots of fur after.  With a play session, you might hear some yips or quiet sounds, but with an actual fight there will be yowling, growling, hissing, posturing. 

My two outside ferals play over and over each day.  The pretend to fight, but there is very little sound.  They will chase, swish tails, ears flat, etc..  Yet it is all play.  There is never fur or injuries.  The play can be quite rough, but it is all in fun.  I would guess since your two are so young, they are just playing.

Be sure that both of them are spayed/neutered soon. 

Thank you for your reply....they are both spay/neutered. I had my last baby until she was 15 (she passed in May), so having two at once is new.....Next time I'll start a new thread.....I haven't been on one of these forums in years....