Third cat introduction went well, but now integration is going downhill.

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ert1988

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Update: Progress! The girls still need supervised around each other, but Elsie is less afraid of Sophie and Sophie is more comfortable around the house. She is playing more, walking around more confidently, and is more comfortable walking and sitting in open spaces.
Elsie is taking Composure and Sophie is still on Bach's Rescue Remedy.
 

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Update: Progress! The girls still need supervised around each other, but Elsie is less afraid of Sophie and Sophie is more comfortable around the house. She is playing more, walking around more confidently, and is more comfortable walking and sitting in open spaces.
Elsie is taking Composure and Sophie is still on Bach's Rescue Remedy.
That is great progress.  Keep up the composure and the RR.  I had to use to for months.  I tried weaning down and noticed a difference.  The cats can be on them both for extended periods.  So happy you are seeing hope.  I am sure it helps your stress level too.  I remember when my two finally settled a bit.  I felt like I could breath and I was so much less tense and on edge.  Hope the weekend goes well!!
 
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ert1988

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Questions: How long (if at all), should I let Elsie or Sophie intently watch the activity of another? This isn't them staring each other down, but it's one watching the other, for example, while I play with them. It's an intent watch, but no posturing. Also worth noting is the other is played with, or attempts are made to include them. By letting them intently watch, is this promoting territorial behavior or letting them see the other is not bothering them?

Other question: Over the last day or two I've noticed that Sophie has wanted to stalk Elsie more, much like she will with Noah while they play. These are during times where Sophie wants to play, but she doesn't always want to be distracted and redirected with a toy and instead wants Elsie. While she wants to play, I know there is aggression and it will only aggravate the situation. How do I handle it? I've been putting Sophie in her safe, time out room when I catch her stalking. Is this the right choice? Whenever I let her out, I make over her and try playing again.
 

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Questions: How long (if at all), should I let Elsie or Sophie intently watch the activity of another? This isn't them staring each other down, but it's one watching the other, for example, while I play with them. It's an intent watch, but no posturing. Also worth noting is the other is played with, or attempts are made to include them. By letting them intently watch, is this promoting territorial behavior or letting them see the other is not bothering them?

Other question: Over the last day or two I've noticed that Sophie has wanted to stalk Elsie more, much like she will with Noah while they play. These are during times where Sophie wants to play, but she doesn't always want to be distracted and redirected with a toy and instead wants Elsie. While she wants to play, I know there is aggression and it will only aggravate the situation. How do I handle it? I've been putting Sophie in her safe, time out room when I catch her stalking. Is this the right choice? Whenever I let her out, I make over her and try playing again.
Question 1:  I think it is ok for them to watch each other as long as there is no tail swishing, ears going flat or posturing.  Watching is how they learn about the other.  Yet if you feel it is too much of a stare, then redirect the cats or pick one up and move them to a different location.  Just very nonchalantly. 

Question 2:  If you think the stalking is with the intent for aggression, then I would remove her.  Maybe not to her safe room, but just to a different location.  She didn't do anything bad (yet) it's more that you just want her to stop and think.  Take her to a window and have her look outside at the birds or go sit down and just pet her for a bit.  If she keeps doing it over and over after redirecting and removing, then I would put her in her safe room

If you think the watching of the other cats while they are playing is too much right now, you might want to play just 1:1 with each cat.  Sometimes play time can bring on aggression and they may not be ready for that activity yet. 
 
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ert1988

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@ShadowsRescue, thank you so much for all of your quick and thorough responses. It helps a lot.

We purchased the Sentry Calming Collar for cats today. Both of the girls are wearing one. Oh my goodness...Sophie and Elsie have been EXCELLENT. Our house feels normal tonight. They will play within a foot of each other, even with their backs towards each other. Sophie is content to peacefully watch Elsie roam. Elsie feels safe to roam. This is perhaps our best night as a 3 cat family. All 3 are currently playing together with da bird.

The bad part is that these collars are NOT breakaway collars like the packaging advertises. They are not safe to leave on unsupervised.
 
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ert1988

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Update:
Sentry calming collars for both girls (only while supervised as they aren't true breakaway collars) in conjunction with some calming Petco treats, are surprisingly doing the trick. We are still adding extra play time and reinforcing Elsie coming out of her room with tuna for everyone. And, of course, we calmly separate the offender when the occasional stalking occurs. On Sophie's part, her stalking is more in the fashion of the play stalking she does with Noah. We still discourage this with Elsie.

With the continued behavior modification work, the collar and treats have the girls both playing with the same wand toy, sitting and walking in closer proximity (including lying down and having backs turned to each other) and have made Sophie comfortable enough to sleep on the top of her tower while Elsie is out (this stopped once Elsie started coming out of her room). When the calming treats are in full effect, neither girl acts too bothered by the other - including walking past one another.

We still have a lot of work as far as behavior modification goes, but these current supplements help to give everyone (us included) some much needed relief.
 

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Yea!!!   I love the calming supplements.  They really allow the cat to just chill and not be so uptight and bothered. 

You are doing so much for all 3 cats.  Keep up the good work.  Soon all will be peaceful.
 
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ert1988

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Update:  The calming treats and collars help to take an edge off.  We still redirect staring and a few potential charges, but these are starting to become a little easier to redirect.

We continue playing and supervising.  Sophie is still upset, but Elsie is back to her mostly normal self around Sophie.  I still have to redirect Elsie from sitting under kitchen chairs and staring.  Despite Sophie being upset/uneasy, she has yet to completely return to the habit of sitting in the same corner that she was in 2 weeks ago when I created this thread.  She wants to know where Elsie is at, but has started returning to some of her favorite lounging spots (both high and low) with Elsie out.  The trick is wearing everyone out with play.
 

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So happy there is progress.  It is all a process.  You are doing a great job of keeping them all in line.  I know how hard it is, but it will pay off.  My two were just horrible and it took one solid year to get them to coexist.  Now at the 2 year mark, they play and groom each other.  It took a long time, but it was well worth it.
 
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ert1988

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@ShadowsRescue, thank you again for your kind words and help.

The weekend was overall successful.  Sophie was slightly less worried about where Elsie was it, so life was somewhat able to resume as normal.  We kept up with playing, treats, etc.  Elsie gave Sophie a couple mild slaps in passing (not at the face), but there was no retaliation and the day resumed.  Sophie mildly charged Elsie a couple times.  Her target was deliberate, but she was in a hyper mood.  It can be hard to get her to play until she's in that mood.  It's also been hard for her to have that crazy, zoom around time for a few minutes every day since we've had Elsie out and have been supervising.  Other than that, they were having an easier time moving past each other and just going on with their day.

The only bad moment was last evening.  Everyone had been asleep around the kitchen table (Elsie always sleeps on a chair - sometimes Sophie does, but she was on the floor).  That's always a peaceful time where we can sit and watch a tv show without worrying.

About 10 minutes into the show, I turn around to see Elsie still sitting on her chair, calm, and Sophie perched right below the chair near her face.  Her ears were back and she was silently staring Elsie down - she was pretty angry.  It's the worst behavior I've seen from Sophie the entire time we've had Elsie. I made a noise to break it up and then moved Sophie into the room without any issues or vocalization on her part.

That was pretty discouraging,especially given the calm context.   It's confusing because an hour ago they were both sitting in the middle of the room less than 2 feet away from each other - relaxed.  I wonder if Sophie would exhibit this kind of behavior when we had Elsie out during work?

I can't tell if Sophie is trying to establish dominance over Elsie or if she is just that upset.  Noah is dominant over everyone.  Elsie will steer clear of Sophie in more intimate situations, but Elsie more comfortably navigates the condo.  She doesn't walk along perimeters and sits higher up than Sophie quite often (despite plenty of vertical availability).

While Elsie is out, Sophie walks along perimeters and is very cautious.  Despite this, Sophie will go up to Elsie in intimate situations (nose touching), and then of course will be the one to express aggressive behavior.  The charging has more of a dominate body language, but I don't know how to classify last night.  Noah has never acted like that as the dominate cat unless him and Sophie get into the occasional mutual stare down/slap-fest.

I feel like Elsie is more dominate over Sophie in terms of confident behavior, but Sophie does not want to accept that, therefore acting out in a fearful/aggressive manner.
 
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ert1988

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Update: We took Sophie to the vet nearly 2 weeks ago and put her on the lowest dosage of Prozac available. We've continued with the behavior modification, plus made our bedroom Sophie's space. We don't let Elsie in there (she oddly is pretty respectful of that).
Although the Prozac is still kicking in, Sophie has been content to spend a lot of time in our bedroom. The last couple of days she's been venturing out more, with this morning being the best yet.
Since being on the Prozac, Sophie has been more comfortable being in her own space (not following Elsie around), has started sitting in the middle of the living room, is starting to walk around with her tail more raised/not so close to the perimeter, and is starting to play with Noah even with Elsie is out. We still catch Sophie giving Elsie the stink eye, but they are needing separated less and less.
I felt guilty about the Prozac, but at 2 weeks it's already making Sophie feel better. We will continue with this approach, eventually weaning her back off the medicine.
 

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I am in a similar situation with 3 cats. I started in August. I recommend trying to allow your cats personal space when the need to do their cat patrols. It's difficult for cats to do their own thing when they have to constantly watch their backs. It takes a long time to find that comfort zone again when there was only 2 cats. Burn off that cat energy through solo play while the others watch helps. When they can sleep in close proximity to each other, at least once in a while, is good.  Cats know to watch fingers and hands. So I always show my cats where the other(s) is. This is greatly appreciated by them. Nose to nose seems to be a big pawsitive for the cats from everything I have read and seen with my cats. Give it time, lots and lots of time and give them breaks from each other. I do this once to several times a day. Stressing the cats dynamics by forcing our time schedule on them will never work. We are in the cats world.  Don't give up if cats and dogs and birds and rabbits and rats can live with each other with us in the same house as seen in many videos anything may happen with amazing results.
 
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