Does it bother you when someone calls you X?

Having an unusual name, I'm used to people butchering my name, so I say "Please call me Y."

However, my sister refuses to call me 'Y'. She still calls me by the childhood nickname. It was cute back then. I hate it now. I've told her a couple of times to call me Y, but she refuses, and my parents are in agreement with her. They say it is a term of endearment and sign of cultural respect.

I tell them it's much more disrespectful to insist on calling me by a name I am uncomfortable with, when I already say I prefer Y, but they say I have been "westernized".

How do I tell them my name is Y?

I would just tell people the correct way to say your name when they say it wrong.  I wouldn't change it at all.

This is a bit of a fix to be in. I would suggest that you either do not answer to it when called or you can simply let it go as its your family, if it were anyone else you might been able to be a bit stricter. I am sure they mean nothing bad by it. I am confused by something in something in your post. You say that you have an unusual name but that its the nickname that bothers you? Did you change your given name? And your family still calls you by said given name? By the way, I have an unusual name myself, so often so, that I'm usually referred to as a Sir, until I stand up and show my ID.

Yes it bothers me - ignoring requests to use the name someone prefers is a classic way to show disrespect. Your family should honor your wishes! Not very nice of your sister to keep using the nickname you are now uncomfortable with - sounds like she is trying to put you down and / or is trying to assert control over you. Personally, I would put a lot of distance between us, but it that's not an option I would probably do something immature like come up a not-so-nice nickname for her and use it often. Make it rhyme so it catches on, she won't like it.   

SwampWitch said:

sounds like she is trying to put you down and / or is trying to assert control over you.

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Here's the irony. THe nickname is a term of endearment used by kids to address each other. It's a form of honorific -- the nickname loosely translates to "honorable big brother".

So her (and my parents') rationale is that it's a cultural sign of respect. It's not "mandatory" in our culture, it's just so in our family. So to her, she's "showing respect" to me by addressing me in that way. I don't like it. I want her to treat me as an equal -- I was never a big fan of patriarchy. But she refuses, saying she wants to be "respectful". They don't realize that it's more disrespectful to continue calling me that when I specifically said I wish to be addressed by my birth name. My own wishes does not matter, cultural norms prevail.

I can and will ignore her next time, although I doubt that will change anything other than being labeled as the oversensitive, picky, westernized, whatever guy in the family. It makes things harder because aside from this, my sister and I are very close -- we're a little like twins, being born 11 months apart.

Where I grew up in Texas, it's considered polite to refer to a woman as "ma'am" and a man as "sir." But I've met many people, even in the south, who absolutely do not like to be addressed that way. Once I know someone's preference, should I continue the cultural norm or respect the request?

Your sister is is clever to hide behind "cultural norms" but she knows you do not like to be called that. In this case, is upholding the culture more important than the feelings of an individual within the family?