At the end of my rope.....

A little over a year ago I came across a large colony of stray and feral cats that live in the park across a very wide street from a middle class neighborhood and a busy boulevard with a bus stop.  Even though plenty of people fed and cared for the cats, the colony population and trash strewn about was out of control.  I began mass TNR in the area.  Kittens and sociable cats went to rescue, sickly ones were humanely euthanized if treatment was not possible, and healthy ones were returned to the colony once they were vetted.  I cleaned the area up and provided wonderful shelters which I placed down into the woods, as well as a feeding area, to keep the cats secure and make them inconspicuous.   I continue to run a very tight ship by providing food and medical care.  Driving by you would never even know they were there.

All that and it still isn't enough.  Some neighbors aren't pleased and they'll gossip amongst themselves but that is mostly harmless.  One woman though in particular who fancies herself the ringleader is a manipulative two faced pathological liar who has made things miserable for me and threatens the cats right to live there.  For the past year, at the expense of my pride, I have bent over backwards trying to accommodate and address this woman's feelings and grievances no matter how exaggerated or non existent.  In return I've gotten nothing but her relentless nagging, stalking, and passive aggressive belittlement.   She has poisoned the more open minded neighbors' opinions of me by spreading lies like claiming I called her bad names.  If I try to reason with her by having a logical conversation she will stamp her feet and cry to the nearest passerby that I am the one harassing her, that she is the victim and I am the aggressor.  All I ever tried to do was work to keep the cats healthy and the community happy.

She waits at her door every morning for me to show up so she can quick run out with her dogs and bark commands at me from her yard.  She follows me into the park and stands behind me taking my picture while I try and feed the cats.  Sometimes she snaps photos of my car and license plate.  She lets me know she is on the board of Best Friends For Animals Society and works with adolescent teens who abuse drugs so she is indeed a good person.  In her words she has the Fairmount Park Police on speed dial so I should watch myself.   She also lets me know she has a million twitter followers and works for the Howard Stern Show so if she wants to have my colony shut down she can at the drop of a hat.  According to her the colony only exists because she allows it to.

I've finally lost my temper with her this morning after euthanizing one of my dilute tortie girls yesterday evening due to pneumonia and early stage hepalipidosis.  She was taking pictures of another woman who feeds the cats, my 70 year old mother, and me while I was bent over with my breasts popping out of my shirt trying to feed the cats.   I asked her to please stop that.  She said she could legally take pictures of us as long as she didn't post them on Facebook.  I had enough and got in her face and screamed at her, telling her that she was a mean old lady who was only satisfied when she was unsatisfied so she could justify her relentless bullying.  That she had no heart and would grow old and die all alone.  It felt so good to get stop being her doormat so I relaxed a bit, then she ran crying to this woman walking her dog.  She told the woman that the cats are always on her patio and that she went in to the park to take pictures of the cats to see if her friend wanted to adopt them and I screamed at her efforts.  Further adding to my astonishment was the woman walking the dog correcting ME for my so called bad behavior.  I tried once more with a cooler head to reason with her but it was useless.  Her parting words to me were a threat to call the city or park police to have the cats and their shelters removed.

I love those cats.  I love animals in general.  I like being part of something good no matter how small it is but I don't know if I can subject myself to this woman anymore.  I seriously feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown.  I feel like I have no options.  I'm also really worried about the cats.  Does anyone have any advice on what to do in this situation or how to deal with this psycho?

A.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Some people really just want to make trouble, for no other reason than to make themselves feel big and powerful. Just a thought (probably ridiculous) - if the harassment is affecting you this deeply, would a restraining order be worth looking at. Prior to that, if you have dates, times etc of instances with witnesses, then you could try going to the police.

I'm sorry I can't offer any help. It really seems like you've taken every possible action to apease this woman, and all she's done is get worse. As it sounds like avoiding her is impossible, police and/or legal action may be your only options.

Hang in there.

Here you are, spending time and money to clean up some other human's bs and you are being treated as if YOU put the cats there just to ruin her life.  Please.  I suppose if she truly had the power that she says she does the cats would have been rounded up by animal control by now.

If it were me the next time she approached me with her attitude I would calmly tell her that I couldn't interact with her anymore because its not good for my blood pressure and that I was under a physician's care.  Please leave me alone.  These aren't my cats.  And then I would walk away.

If she begins taking pictures of you again simply whip out your phone and begin taking pictures of her and her dogs.

How is your community with feral colonies?  Do they believe in TNR?  Can you get some backing from your local TNR organization?  A city commissioner perhaps?

As she is threatiening a lot about contacting police, the city animal  authorities, and so on... Perhaps you can do it too.  Be sure you do have a good contact with them.  Which in itself is good, nasty weirdos or not...  Well kept  TNR colonies are in fact in the interest of the citis animal control authorites, especielly as they thereby dont need to put any dime nor effort on this.

Who knows, with a little luck they may even help you, both with some money, but also, making it known they stand behind you.  Having  Such  backbone may make it easier in many situations, seeking sponsors for example.

The same with the police in the district...  Try to get friendly with them...   After all, again, you are working into the same goals.

Also, many of animal abusers are also potential child and woman abusers, and even if not stopped - police killers...

Holding the TNR colony nice and clean, and protecting them from to be a given prey for abusers and weirdos, you are indirectly helping to hold the city clean of such persons.

Re this unlucky woman with problems.  The chances are big she is seen as peculiar by others too.  Pity this with these teenagers with problems - they are defenceless against one such weirdo...  Hopefully she is in the most outer circles around.  Not involved but loosely hang around.

So, develop your alliances, among both cat friends, and the officials, and other neigbours, as long as you can.

And dont bother much more around her.  She will dig out her own pitfalls...  She surely does.

Tx a lot for what you are doing!

Good luck!  @Alice79

Agree with Stafan.  Work with a local group (power in numbers) and make sure the city knows all.  I have a sense, though, that she's all noise.  If she was going to call someone in, she would have done so by now.

Your best bet is to go about your business, make sure you have support and ignore her as best you can.  And filming her letting her dogs out is an excellent idea!

If you can, alwasy bring a buddy with you so you have a witness.  Perhaps that person can film you going about your business.  Any challenging she does can be used against her.

Agreed with StefanZ. I also would like to say if you have a phone or tape recorder and if she approaches to discreetly turn it on to have as evidence as its harassement was she is doing. I am hoping she is just full of talk and will not harm the cats. I do think the next time she threatens to call the police, go ahead and call them yourself, especially if you have a witness nearby. I do think its rude of her to carry on as she has and to even take pictures without your permission. I'm very sorry for the loss of your kitty. May she rest in peace.

nansiludie said:

Agreed with StefanZ. I also would like to say if you have a phone or tape recorder and if she approaches to discreetly turn it on to have as evidence as its harassement was she is doing. I am hoping she is just full of talk and will not harm the cats. I do think the next time she threatens to call the police, go ahead and call them yourself, especially if you have a witness nearby. I do think its rude of her to carry on as she has and to even take pictures without your permission. I'm very sorry for the loss of your kitty. May she rest in peace.

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Great idea about audio recording. That's definitely a good move.

Columbine said:

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Some people really just want to make trouble, for no other reason than to make themselves feel big and powerful. Just a thought (probably ridiculous) - if the harassment is affecting you this deeply, would a restraining order be worth looking at. Prior to that, if you have dates, times etc of instances with witnesses, then you could try going to the police.

I'm sorry I can't offer any help. It really seems like you've taken every possible action to apease this woman, and all she's done is get worse. As it sounds like avoiding her is impossible, police and/or legal action may be your only options.

Hang in there.

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I agree. What I would also do is call her bluff. Contact her "boss" Howard Stern and tell him what she's doing in HIS name. Howard and his wife Beth are HUGE cat advocates and have been working with the North Shore Animal League in NY for years. They own 5 rescue cats and have fostered over 50 others

http://www.onegreenplanet.org/news/howard-and-beth-sterns-cat-tastic-life/

Howard has a page on his website dedicated to finding homes for foster cats. https://www.howardstern.com/news/2014/2/25/adopt-a-foster-cat/   There's a link on this page to email Beth. I'd email her and let her know. Howard may very well call this woman out on the air. If for some reason she does work for him, I seriously doubt he'd support her actions.

Yes- hang in there. you are doing a wonderful thing for these cats. thank you so much or caring. People like that can make you lose faith in humanity. Fortunately, people like you bring it right back.

Kat0121 said:

 
I agree. What I would also do is call her bluff. Contact her "boss" Howard Stern and tell him what she's doing in HIS name. Howard and his wife Beth are HUGE cat advocates and have been working with the North Shore Animal League in NY for years. They own 5 rescue cats and have fostered over 50 others

http://www.onegreenplanet.org/news/howard-and-beth-sterns-cat-tastic-life/

Howard has a page on his website dedicated to finding homes for foster cats. https://www.howardstern.com/news/2014/2/25/adopt-a-foster-cat/   There's a link on this page to email Beth. I'd email her and let her know. Howard may very well call this woman out on the air. If for some reason she does work for him, I seriously doubt he'd support her actions.

Yes- hang in there. you are doing a wonderful thing for these cats. thank you so much or caring. People like that can make you lose faith in humanity. Fortunately, people like you bring it right back.

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Oh, Yes, I hadn't thought of that. I saw an article on Cat Fancy awhile back, his wife fosters kittens and they have a Persian who cares for the wee foster kittens. I hope he does call her out on it. That's pure meaness what she's done to Alice79.

Thank you all so much for your suggestions and encouragement.  It's nice to read and vent a little especially with people who may have similar experiences.

I do have friends/family members and past feeders who were witnesses or victims of her behavior.  Unfortunately some of the feeders did not possess my "patience" and gave as good as they got.  I'm sure she'd find someone to swear she was sweat as pie too.  She has also never caused me physical harm or threatened to do so.  It's all psychological warfare with her and taking her spite out on animals.

Prior to my arrival at the colony, this woman did call the park police on one feeder because she put up 3 ft high clear vinyl greenhouse for the cats to eat in during the rain and snow.  The park officer told the feeder to take it down or he would and when she didn't comply he took it down, they wrestled a bit over the greenhouse, (lol yes this is real life) then the feeder called the city police.  Nothing really happened and everyone went their separate ways but now there is much more stuff down there for the cats that I spent money buying and time making.  Life didn't give them much so they should at least have awesome cat houses and and a clean place to eat.

I didn't think to keep a record of her behavior but I guess I will now.  I've checked her social media pages and thankfully she has not posted any of the photos she keeps taking of us.  I don't want to become a meme!

I would love to go to the police and at least talk to them about what can be done but I just feel so embarrassed and even a tad ashamed to bother them.  I'm sure they'd rather be catching rapists and murderers instead of dealing with cat lady vs crazy lady drama.  I should probably get over it and talk to someone.  The whole situation is indeed creepy but ridiculous at the same time since all this conflict is over 11 cats, one of which is now socialized enough to go into foster care this Saturday if all goes to plan.  They rest are true ferals who I don't see venturing into populated areas now that they are s/n and fed well.

Some other people in the neighborhood do leave their cats out to roam from time to time.  One woman has 4 males that she won't get neutered.  I of course get blamed if they spray on something.  If anything goes wrong or something is found out of place it is because of "my" cats.  A turd.  A hole.  A deer.  The death of their vegetable garden.  Never mind the fact that they live across the street from a park filled with all sorts of animals who eat, poop, and rummage.  It is always the cats and the cats are always mine and neither them or me belong there.  I'm not even allowed to park on the public street that faces the side of her house even though said street isn't actually her legal address.  I got stuck in the snow there once and she made my life hell for a full hour under the guise of helping me get free.  I was praying for an avalanche to take us out ;-)

The colony has been around since 2009/10.  I showed up in the Spring of 2014 when there was over 20 cats and several litters of kittens.  The neighbors did nothing but complain yet did nothing to help either and some of the cats were sweet.  I live in Philadelphia and we are a very feral friendly city.  The PSPCA and Philadelphia Animal Control and Care Team openly encourage TNRM and hold clinics.  It is not against the law nor is there any ordinance that forbids the feeding of stray or feral cats.  We have a lot of good rescues, caring people, and even a few "famous" colonies at Pier 70 and Whitman Plaza.  Philadelphia's community cat caregivers are very fortunate to have several low cost s/n & vaccination clinics available and now they can even be done for free due to a grant that was given to the city by Best Friends.  Sadly a lot of those good rescues and caring people are dealing with their own Bitter Betties.  I don't know if the park is under a different set of rules or not but she sure acts like it is and owned by her.

By all accounts this woman doesn't have any true friends or family that wants to visit her.  She is in her house most of the time with her dogs looking out the window for people she can bully.  She posted photos taken from her window of her mailman on Facebook because he dared to take a break before delivering her mail.  It's kind of sad actually.  She is always flinging her knowledge or perceived power in our faces and with enough complaining to the right people she may get some that could negatively affect the colony.  Looking at her twitter it appears she does indeed do some promotional work for an aspect of the Stern show.  Wether or not she is actually employed by the Sterns I don't know.  Even if she were what she does on her own time wouldn't really matter and I don't know if it would be appropriate for me to contact her maybe employers.

She's also claiming to be on the board of Best Friends in what I assume to be a way to threaten my ability to use their grant for any new cats at my two colonies. (I have another colony right on my block but thankfully my neighbors are cool with the cats)  Ironically she has adopted dogs, one from Best Friends that was almost featured on a news segment.  She seems to love her dogs and take care of them even if she is always screeching at them as well.  It's just so weird and unfortunate.  

I have absolutely nothing to gain by having conflict with the people who live next to the colony.  I want to be able to take care of the cats and stay on good terms with the people that live across the street from them.  If something happens to one of the cats I want them to feel comfortable contacting me so I can take care of it or even address any concern they may have.  This woman though is really undermining that.

Thankfully all the fur kids and their stuff seems to be in order and mercifully that woman was in her house and quiet.  I popped by early this evening to give them a little snack and check on them as some were scared away by the commotion this morning.  I took some current pictures and would post them so you could see how inconspicuous and cat friendly it is.  Can you post pictures here?

Thanks again!

You're welcome. Please do not be ashamed or embarassed to go to the police as she is in the wrong, you've done great work for the cats and the kittens. Maybe she's a very depressed and emotional person. I've seen you've posted that you've tried your best to be kind to her and everything. Maybe as long as you don't engage in it with her, just nod and agree she will get tired of it as she might just do it for attention. I do hope it works out for everyone involved.

Oh lord, such delusion, she just emailed this to me and no I have not and will not reply.  If I didn't think it was illegal to video/audio record someone I would have been doing that.  I just wish I could bottle the essence of this woman up so you could hear what she is like.  She is such a poisonous woman.  So unfortunately she was watching me from her window.  How super creepy.

Also who gets off on hurting some little cats just because you don't like them or someone else?  What is wrong with this woman?

And just so everyone knows.  Only the one cat that is due to go into foster wanders the neighborhood a bit because he isn't feral therefore he is fearless. They do their potty in the park.  I even build two raised feeder like boxes that I fix with soft mulch that I change out every now and then so they do have a spot to potty that isn't on people's property.

I have also told her before since she is so quick with her camera to please take a picture of these cats going to the bathroom on her lawn so I can determine wether they are mine and if so come pick it up.  She is never able to do that though because they are too fast or some other such excuse which leads me to believe that she is lying.

I hope this nut doesn't kill me one day and bury me in the park

So Ms Allison Ann;

     You showed me a part of you I hadn't seen prior.. This my dear proved to be a naughty thing.. Allow me

to go further..Well here goes Little One.. Anyone who knows me and spews Nastiness in a way that you did

today had to have been spying on me and that Little One is a NoNo!!.. How dare you do such a Naughty Thing.. BUT the one thing that you did was that you Peep your hole card..

You gave me all of the information I needed to find out who you are and where you got information about me.

With that being said.... Allow me to tell you this one thing.. After you vacated your Colony of Kittens today 2 of them proceeded to  come to my yard and yestake a nice juicy dump on my property. Plus now I know where you live!

 

     I will no longer tolerate this behavior as I told you any longer..NOR do I have to.  Nor am I supposed to.  So, It is with a smile in my heart that I say to you 

I am, after I send this email to you an email/report to the SPCA with all information of the Colony across the street from my house be sent.

Have a wonderful day and just for s**** & giggles...BABABOOEY & HEY NOW TO YA'ALL

If I were you print the email to show to the police and I do agree with the previous posters about a restraining order, this is uncalled for behavior. Its getting out of hand, its harassment. I would be a bit upset if this were me.  I am upset now even though it is not me.

How did she get your email and address?

Maybe I should check the bushes outside my house right?  The last time she barked at me was to threaten calling the park police.  She also said she didn't want anything to do with me yet here she is emailing me threats.  I still can't believe this is actually happening to me.  It's like a bad Lifetime movie....

I'm saving the email and I printed it out so whoever needs to see it can see it came from her email address

I gave her my email address and I've written to her in the past.  Just to offer a link or two on how to deter cats from ones property and the benefit of properly managing community cats.  I also wanted people to have a way of contacting me if something was wrong with one of the cats or if they had an issue with the cats that they'd like to discuss with me so we could work it out to everyone's satisfaction.  I was trying to be nice and act like an adult.  Two traits this woman obviously does not have.

My goal is not to have conflict with people.  I just want to help some animals, something that I love to do, in peace.  I shouldn't have to constantly look over my shoulder, have people take my picture without my permission, and threaten my colony's security.  This went too far a long time ago.  I should have stopped trying to appease her long before this.  I think she is mentally ill.

She is without a doubt mentally ill.  Or on a bad combo of medication.  Or forgetting to take her medication.  That business about now I know where you live is not normal.  She needs to be reported to the authorities.  Also, calling you Little One and telling you how naughty you are.  Creepy!!!!

In agreement that this woman sounds mentally ill.  Why she has targeted you is not entirely a mystery - you are visible and you're doing something interesting - I'd be willing to bet her neighbors avoid her at all costs.

As many have suggested, you may have to involve the police, and you should be recording these interactions.

And feral colonies have their value, which she doesn't realize.  When one local neighborhood decided to remove their colony, mice overran the area and chewed up all the wiring in the outside air conditioning units.  And if the inside of her place is as cluttered as her mind, she'll be overrun as well.

Your work for the cats is important, and her behavior is intolerable.  Wish words could solve this situation for you.

This woman is a sociopath. a bully, and she is stalking you, which is against the law.  Keep records of every incident, and do have someone with you as a witness, if at all possible.  Do contact the police.  And I think I would get rid of your current email address and get a new one.  Or at least see if you can block her.

The wording on her email is....odd.... and sounds like it should come with a feather tickler but the tone is standard her.  Condescending and a little threatening.  I'm not a girl, I am an adult woman and she is 62-65 I believe.  I set up that particular email with the sole purpose of communicating only with people living near the colony and I intend to leave it open.  Eventually her ego will get the better of her and she can then use the end of my rope to hang herself up on.  I'm sure she'll contact me again and I will save it.

Me and the other feeder are going to keep track of times, dates, and behavior along with a witness.  We are also going to use our phones wether it is legal or not.  I'm thinking about investing in a decent trail camera as well.  Right now from the outside it's just a they said she said thing.

Some of her neighbors seem to enjoy her.  Others appear to just tolerate her.  She is good at putting forth a certain persona but the moment things don't go her way or you challenge her "authority" that facade begins to crack and it isn't pretty underneath.  There is another woman who is very nice and pleasant but always reports back to the nasty one like some sort of zombified underling.  I ran a little experiment and told the nice lady about a nonexistent calico cat that had shown up at the colony and no more than a day later the nasty woman was bending my ear complaining about a calico cat sleeping in her dog's doghouse.  So there is that but I can live with gossip and high school games.  Tolerating the other behavior especially the picture taking is different.  It's very violating to have someone repeatedly follow and take your photograph even after you tell them to stop.  I feel awful for actors and actresses.

Thankfully today was breezy and pretty quiet.  She stayed in her yard and only took one picture that I noticed.  She did repeatedly order and praise, in baby talk no less, her dogs for "barking at those crazy ladies" while she did yard work.  Then as I was leaving she began theatrically coughing and stumbling over some phantom piece of cat dander or turd.  I know this woman's MO.

I've enjoyed reading your replies and suggestions so thank you all so much, again.  It's reassuring to know I'm not just being too sensitive and that this woman is wrong to be treating people this way.

Google the term 'Antisocial Personality' or 'Sociopath'.  When you read the list of symptoms, you will recognize this woman.