Lymphoma - support...

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anne thomason

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Hi all..

My name is Anne. I am looking more for support & prayers/good vibes/exc rather than advice at this point.

I have multiple cats (as I used to foster) but one of them is a 7-8 yr old Abyssinian named Alaska. I adopted her from a shelter back in 2009.

About a year ago she started losing weight. Took her to 3 vets over the last year & change and all I got was 'since you have multiple cats, then you should feed her separate' - did not work. (She saw the vet in Jan then again in March & had a dental in April as we thought maybe that was what was wrong)

She started declining badly the week before last. Started getting noticeably thinner, wouldn't eat, was weak.

Took her to another vet that was recommended. First thing she did was feel her stomach - she felt a knot. They took x - ray - could not see anything as she is skinny & she said they needed fat to see something. Lymphoma of course is suspected. Plan was to do a couple transfusions to build up her system then exploratory surgery. We got her typed - came back Thursday.

Vet ended up keeping her most of last week. I brought her home Wed - Friday. Friday night, after I took her home, vet clinic called & said that blood banks were out of her type of blood till Monday & the clinics who DID have blood were being nasty about selling it to us.

Thankfully they typed their office cat and she was a match (thank goodness even with her being an Aby she still has A blood!).

Transfusion did good for a day. Sunday she started regressing, yesterday even more so, as far as being weak/run down.

Her color did improve and is still good but of course not as great as it was Saturday.

Vet says she can refer me to a clinic that does ultrasounds if I don't want to do the surgery, but she said chances are she will still have to go thru surgery and that in all honesty she doesn't think she will survive that much longer & she wants to do the surgery ASAP. Our only chance is hoping that it is contained lymphoma and she can remove it (she also wants to look at kidney).

I trust the vet 100%, but I was talked down to yesterday in a FB group on lymphoma by one lady (everyone else was supportive) saying that surgery is unnecessary.

This vet is dedicated to her. She is coming in today to ensure my 2 DSHs get typed (am taking 2 of my cats in to type them since the clinic cat cant donate again for months). She updates me every day. She has been really nice despite me being so crazy.

I really feel that it is the best route for her - even tho she is weak.

I live in AR, which sorry to say is not the most animal friendly place ever. As the vet said she has not dealt with a situation like this as most people say 'put them to sleep' - as far as cats go. Dogs, some people ware willing to spend $ on, but not cats. She has done tons of research on it and really seems to be trying to do the absolute best by Alaska. She has updated me every single day, she stayed late last Friday so Alaska could get the transfusion THAT DAY. She used her own personal cat (the clinic cat) as the donor. She is a self proclaimed 'cat lady' and I know she has done great by her - esp considering the other 3 vets just shrugged us off.

I know it is not the best thing ever, but I feel it is the only chance she has. We are hoping both cats will be a match, that way we can have blood on hand for the surgery - 94-99% of DSH have her blood type so chances are pretty decent - she will have an IV cath & her heart rate/pulse/exc will be measured the whole time.

My work schedule sucks cause it is the same hrs as the vet is open but I am going to see if I can see her the day before surgery or maybe see if they can do it right after lunch & I can ask the boss if I can come back an hr or so late?

I feel awful having her @ the vet's office, but they are still giving her fluids. and monitoring her, so it is the best place for her.

As I have said multiple times and it sounds crazy - I really wish I could be like everyone else here and didn't care at all. I have pretty much eaten enough to keep myself going, but wouldn't be surprised if *I* have lost weight in the last week (not a bad thing lol). Pretty much constantly crying even now sitting at my desk @ work (which of course no one here understands  so I am trying my best to hide it).

I understand, this might not be the smartest thing to do but as the vet said it is go big or do nothing & I just cant bring myself to have her PTS without trying or let her suffer and the cancer kill her (I had a human friend who died of cancer last August & he was in so much pain).

If she can go in there & take out the lymphoma, we can start chemo & hopefully her anemia will go away. Of course it isn't a fix as it is not curable, but it would at least buy us some more time. I am not ready for her to die & clearly she is not ready either. The vet finally admitted to me yesterday she didn't think she would live this long. But without surgery I am afraid she will give up. But with surgery she might not make it thru - altho ALL PRECAUTIONS will be in place. The vet says of course there is huge risk with her being weak but with a transfusion & with her will to fight that she thinks she might make it thru. If it is non removable, pretty much she is dead.

The thought of her dying on the table with me making the decision to proceed kills me. The thought of her continuing down this path and wasting away kills me. The thought of me having to have her PTS kills me.

Knowing that I have volunteered my 2 other cats to get their blood drained makes me feel guilty.

I have anxiety issues anyway, but almost had a full blown panic attack on Friday waiting for her to get her transfusion & ended up having to take an Ativan which I haven't had to take in over 3 years.

All my friends/family are either acting like she is already dead, or think I should have her PTS, or just flat out tell me she is going to die. While they are not at all bad people, they don't 'get it' as to them - and pretty much the rest of the state - cats don't matter.

And I thought joining the lymphoma group would be a good thing but ended up being reemed by a lady who is in there - altho I am sure she knows what she is talking about when she says that surgery without an ultrasound is stupid, my cat doesn't have very much time. Bumping her up with a transfusion then doing the surgery seem like the most plausible options. It isn't that I am unwilling to take advice, it is that I have to do what my gut & the vet tell me is right.

1st pic is Alaska a couple years ago, 2nd pic is her last Thur when I had her home (was feeding her in bathroom), 3rd is her right before she was admitted Saturday May 23rd, the rest are pics of her back in April of last year. (She is an inside only cat but I do let them out in the privacy fenced yard WHILE I SUPERVISE - a few times during the year when it is nice weather)

ETA - I do not know what the blood work says, I am not a DVM - I do know she has been checked 3x for thyroid - negative. She was checked for diabetes as she secreted glucose in her urine - negative. I know there are people who will ask for her blood work on here, but as I said, the decision has been made and I am just really, really looking for support. I have weighed the options & the vet has been open to giving me a referal but Alaska knows this vet & this vet is beyond wonderful with her (and with me) so I dont want to continue to put off what is going to inevitably happen (surgery), as there is nothing we can do to 'build her up' in anticipation of it except another transfusion. I do know her BUN and creatnine were on the high side of normal, which is another reason she wants to go in - so she can check out the kidneys.


Anyway, I thank all of you who read thru my novel/
 
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anne thomason

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Forgot to mention that no, lymphoma has not been confirmed. That is why she wants to do the exploratory surgery - she is really hoping that she will be able to remove the lymphoma before it spreads (if it hasn't already) and get her feeling better so we can start chemo. And also they will obtain a biopsy of kidney & mass in intestines to confirm lymphoma & what type.

Might be a lost cause - might have already spread - but I just have to try something!
 

PushPurrCatPaws

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Wow, what a stressful time you have been going through! Alaska is beautiful, and the two most recent pictures are helpful. The one of her last Thurs shows (to me) a kitty in trouble, & in a lot of pain. The one from last Saturday shows (to me) a kitty feeling much better than last Thursday at least. These are momentary snapshots in time, however. If she is losing weight all this past year, she definitely seems to have something goin' on for sure.

In any case, I appreciate your need for support, and you have it from me! It sounds like you have decided on the way forward. I respect that. But you are obviously aware that there are several unknowns, and although time seems of the essence, knowing more about those unknowns might be helpful in the surgery and in her recovery, and in solving this in the long run. You are getting many "ducks in a row" as you are moving forward, but --if it were me-- I would just feel that going into surgery with a vague x-ray, and without an ultrasound, would be like going spelunking with a bag over my head.
:anon:


...They took x - ray - could not see anything as she is skinny & she said they needed fat to see something. Lymphoma of course is suspected.
[...] I know there are people who will ask for her blood work on here, but as I said, the decision has been made and I am just really, really looking for support. I have weighed the options & the vet has been open to giving me a referal but Alaska knows this vet & this vet is beyond wonderful with her (and with me) so I dont want to continue to put off what is going to inevitably happen (surgery), as there is nothing we can do to 'build her up' in anticipation of it except another transfusion. I do know her BUN and creatnine were on the high side of normal, which is another reason she wants to go in - so she can check out the kidneys.

If surgery is inevitable, since you have decided to move forward on it, and you mention that you think Alaska has a strong will to live, I think so much depends on how invasive this surgery needs to be, in my view! Knowing more (via ultrasound, bloodwork, etc) would seem to me to be very helpful.

Is there a "mobile" ultrasound professional who can travel TO your current vet's location, and do the ultrasound while Alaska is boarded at her own vet? Where I live, the vet clinic my cat was at, the vet(s) interacted with a mobile radiologist, etc., one who was able to come once a week and do ultrasounds at location(s) other than at his own practice. This was esp. helpful in cases where the cat was so ill as to make traveling around to this or that vet or radiologist dangerous or impractical.
 
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ldg

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My heart goes out to you and Alaska! :hugs:

A dear friend recently went through something similar. Her kitty was very sick, it came on seemingly quite rapidly. And she had the same choice to make: wait and hope, maybe go a more traditional route, which would be an ultrasound that would indicate whether or not there could be a needle biopsy done or whether it would have to be a surgical biopsy of the mass - or the alternative, exploratory surgery.

Given how quickly kitty had deteriorated and the weakened condition, the vet recommended the same thing yours is: don't wait, do the exploratory surgery. The bottom line? If he couldn't survive the surgery, he wasn't going to be able to wait for an ultrasound, a needle biopsy, results, potentially chemo rather than surgery, etc.

It's a horrible, terrible place to be. :hugs: But our kitties are hard-wired to hide pain, they do their best to hide illness, and so often we learn of the cause of the problem when it's too late to do anything about it. :( :heart2: :rub: :hugs:

It was one of the hardest decisions she's had to make. She talked to her little soldier, and decided to do the surgery. She said her good-byes just in case, and had the exploratory surgery done. In his case, they found it was liver cancer that had metastasized to essentially all of his organs, and rather than try to wake him up, they let him go. :bawling: :bawling: :bawling:

:bawling:

Like you, she just had to try. It is SO hard - not sure you're going to be able to hold your kitty alive again or not - and then if it turns out you aren't, your kitty isn't awake to acknowledge that you are there to say good-bye.... :heart2:

On the other hand, you have the peace of mind to know you did ALL you could. There is no reason to look back and regret. There is no "I could have, I should have, what if I ... "

Well - we always find ways to slip those in, it's part of the process.

If you decide to proceed with the exploratory surgery, please consider this. According to my animal communicator, cats are aware of their existence through other dimensions and time, and they view these bodies as cloaks they shed when done with them. They are not afraid of death, they are afraid because we are, they are afraid of how we will be without them, and often they go extra lengths to hide the problems because they want US to be OK: they hang on as long as they can despite their pain (and being ready to let go of their bodies) for us.

So my advice is... talk to her, give / do her favorite things, tell her how much you love her, make her feel like the princess and queen she is, and if you want to try, try. Just say your good-byes first, so you don't regret that, and let her know that if you can help her body recover and she wants to fight, you'll be there all the way - and if she needs or wants to let go, you'll understand even though it will be so very, very sad and you'll miss her terribly.

It doesn't matter what anyone anywhere says. You have to listen to Alaska and to your heart. And I think it's wonderful that you have a vet willing to fight, not just telling you to give up - IF forging ahead is what you want to do. :rub:

:vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: Vibes as you navigate this difficult time. :heart2:

(And wow am I bawling!).

:grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2: :grphug2:
 
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mrsgreenjeens

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I'm crying too.  Laurie said it all. 


Please keep us posted, either way.  We'll either help you along the way with the next steps, or heaven forbid, we'll commiserate with you


BTW, what Laurie failed to  mention is that she has a cat who went thru his own trial with Lymphoma and chemo, etc.  This was a couple of years ago, at least, and he's still with us. 
 

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I just happened to catch site of this thread last night before I went to bed! Anne - your Alaska is so beautiful and lovely. I am so sorry your are going through this. :hugs:

The little soldier that LDG (Laurie) :hugs: speaks of is named :rbheart: Pipsqueak. My circumstance is a bit different but it did come down to the same options you are faced with. He suddenly became quite ill and looked extremely thin to me. Pip started with a fever and had an eye flare-up so vet and I thought it was a virus/herpes flare-up. Put him on an Antibiotic and eye drops. He was off food so I had to supplement with syringe feedings. A week later he looked bloated to me so I took rushed him back to the vet in a bit of a panic over this new symptom. We then realized that this was in fact not a viral infection but something more serious. Looking back I feel so badly that I syringe fed him thinking I caused him more pain - but sadly, we just do the best we can with what we "think" we are dealing with at that very moment/day. :sniffle: Anyway - we did the Xray. Dr. Molly came in and said there is fluid in the abdomen. We couldn't tell from the xray IF there was a foreign object OR tumor OR what. My vet said there is no way Pipsqueak can go home with me in this condition. :bawling: I had a decision to make right then and there. One: Wait till morning (keeping on fluids at vet) and bring him to Purdue for an Ultrasound but that would be leaving him in great pain overnight and IF he had toxic peritonitis then he would not survive much longer. Two: Exploratory surgery immediately - like right now, she said. OR Three: PTS. :bawling:

I sat with Pipsqueak and we snuggled and of course, I cried. As I am doing right now just going over it again in my mind. (sorry, as you know, can't be helped...:shame:) I looked into his eyes and he looked back. I knew then what I should do. I opted for the exploratory surgery to try to give my little soldier a chance because I have never, ever known a kitty in my life that was so full of gusto and gumption and a true little trooper that I knew he agreed with my wanting to try to give him every chance at surviving. Even though, I think, he was not afraid and I think he knew the outcome already before the surgery. I swear they just know, and I agree with Laurie in that animals do not fear death nor do they really think about it as we do but they hold on only for us out of love, not fear. It is something I learned from Pipsqueak among so many other incredible life lessons. SO - Dr. Molly took Pip from me and I waited. By this time, my hubby had arrived so had support. Dr. Molly called my on the phone as we were waiting out in the car. She said that Pip had a huge golf ball size tumor on his liver that had ruptured thus the fluid. Many other tumors spread in the abdomen. Tumors going up the bile duct of the liver. We let him go on the table. :rbheart:

I am not sorry about going ahead with the exploratory surgery because I know me and I know if I did not do it, I think I would be much worse off in the guilt department and probably not be getting over his loss even though I am still having a hard time, I don't regret my decision that day. I miss Pipsqueak, terribly. Always will. But, I also realize that Pipsqueak was a cat that absolutely HATED medication of any kind and it was always a battle to get him to hold still for any kind of treatment. He would have been one miserable kitty if I opted to treat him for any type of illness/disease. I know that this was the way Pipsqueak wanted to leave me and he would have done it no other way. Pipsqueak made his life decisions and went full speed ahead. And that was the way he left this earth - full speed ahead. :Shooting Star:

I hope I didn't go on too much but just wanted you to know that whatever you and Alaska decide is the RIGHT thing and in the end of whatever outcome - good or bad - you will be at peace with your and her decision - together. :grphug: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes: ALASKA and :hugs: :alright: to you Anne.
 
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AbbysMom

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. It isn't that I am unwilling to take advice, it is that I have to do what my gut & the vet tell me is right.
There you go. There is the most important part right there. :nod: If you don't do this you will always question f you should have. It's inevitable that at some point you will question yourself no matter what. We all do. But, won't it be easier knowing that you did what you and your vet felt was right?

You and your pretty girl are in my thoughts. :hugs: :heart2:
 
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anne thomason

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Thank you to all of you. I will update everyone after surgery - which is tentatively set for Saturday after they close (at noon). Both vets will be doing the surgery. There will also be the donated blood from Xena - IV cath will be inserted.. Every precaution will be taken to ensure it is successful but it depends on what they find as to what happens. I saw her yesterday tho and she was weaker and looked worse. The vet even did a transfusion of Snuggles' blood the night before and she was still super weak, altho I do have to say she was pretty quick to jump out of my arms - she never has liked being held - back into her fort which is a big soft crate with the fluffiest blanket I could find & heating pad..She also when I tried to put her in my lap walked off - I don't know if this is because she was uncomfortable or if it was because she is pissed I still have her at the vet (who has been poking & prodding her for almost 2 weeks now). The vet said she 'protests' every day when given fluids and will try to get away.

.I hate her being at the vets but they are still having to do fluids. She is absolute skin and bones which terrifies me so badly for her to go thru surgery. But the vet said the other vet (who is older/more experienced) will be there with her & one will cut while the other removes & stitches so it should be fairly quick?

I am not religious in any way but I am asking every single person I know to send good vibes/prayers on Saturday afternoon that the lymphoma can be found & removed so she can bounce back & of course that she makes it thru surgery. Then there is the recovery from the surgery/biopsy - sigh. I wish the surgery was today but the vet is also waiting until Saturday as that is the day I have off & I can come in and spend an hr or so with her. I am close to asking if I can sit in the waiting room while the surgery is done - just in case & also so I can know as soon as it is over - but not sure if that is over the top or not? The vet has been very sympathetic to me and my craziness. I think there was ONE day when she updated me (out of over 10) when I didn't burst into tears.

I also pmed and thanked Feralvr for sharing her story. I am so sorry for the loss of Pipsqueak.

Thanks again to all.....Will let you know what happens, please think of Alaska on Saturday.
 
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anne thomason

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They moved her surgery up to this AM.

You don't have to reply but please, please, please, please send good vibes/prayers her way.
 

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:hugs: and :vibes:

Please do let us know how she makes out.
 
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anne thomason

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I sure will & thank you!

She wont go in until after her transfusion as she threw up a bit at the end of the last one & of course they don't want her throwing up while under. The vet is going to call when she is getting ready to take her into surgery. She will have two vets working on her to make it quicker and one is super experienced & the other is not as experienced but has a lot of heart!

I will let you guys know when she is in recovery and after the lymphoma has all been removed :) - Good thoughts!

It kills me I cant see her before surgery (that is why we are planning on Saturday) but I will get to see her tomorrow as planned when she is starting to feel better (altho I know she will be sore from surgery) & this will all be in the past .....
 

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I hope it goes well, Anne! Fingers crossed! Alaska is lucky to have you watching out for her, and you are both lucky to have what sounds like a fantastic vet.
 

mrsgreenjeens

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Just sending my good thoughts and healing vibes. 
 

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AW Anne.......... many, many, MANY vibes coming your and Alaska's way. Keeping you close in heart/prayer. Be strong for your little girl and hold tight and believe me, I KNOW that is so very, very tough to do. :alright: Your Alaska is a very strong girl !!! Here come the vibes... :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes: :hugs: :grphug: :rub: :cross:

p.s. thank you for your PM to me - your very kind. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
 
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artiemom

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Fingers, paws crossed...good thoughts, words and prayers are being sent..
 

artiemom

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I was thinking the same thing last night; but was afraid to verbalize it....
 

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Oh dear....we are here for you! Please let us know the outcome and whatever it is, we are here for you. Your kitties are our kitties...we celebrate and commiserate with you.
 

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I was thinking the same thing last night; but was afraid to verbalize it....
My thoughts exactly
.  Hopefully Anne is just extremely busy visiting Alaska and taking care of her other two cats


 
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