Heartbroken Newbie- Please help

Hello all. After two days sobbing and missing work, it's time I reached out to some people who know better than me. Bascially, I have a broken heart. Last weekend my boyfriend and I decided to foster two baby kittens, boy and girl. We played with them and fell completely in love with them. They are 8 weeks and sleep in my arms. I've always wanted a cat, but we aren't in the rental place to have one long-term. Wedsnesday morning someone wanted to adopt them (so soon) and I panicked on the spot and told the adoption agency I wanted to keep them. A restless night later, I realized I can't give these babies the space and attention they needed. So 24 hours later I rescinded my offer, and have spent the entire time crying since. We found a woman of my boyfriend's coworker who is ready to adopt them immediately who lives in a huge house and wants to get them (who would keep us in touch with them!), but apparently two other applications have been filled out for the babies. So the agency is picking the others are priority. I am so so heartbroken, I am scaring the kittens with my incessant sobbing. Can anyone give me any advice, or let me know some good stories? Right now I am so terrified the other people will get them and will treat them badly or immediately have them euthanized or something. I am so so sad I could die, please help. 

Fostermama I really don't think you need to worry.



You did the right thing by giving the kittens back, you aren't in a situation where you can offer these kittens a stable forever home. Shelters are really careful about screening prospective adopters, the fact that there are already three different families interested in these kittens is great. The shelter will pick the best family for them, not the family who applied first.

Most shelters also ask adopters to return kittens to them if they can't keep them for any reason. Adopters have to sign a contract promising to do this so that that don't end up abandoned or being put down. Ask if this shelter does.

This Grief Hotline deals mainly with people who are mourning a pet that died, but maybe it would help you to talk to them.

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-loss

I know it's tough saying goodbye, I've had lots of foster kittens over the past five years. Knowing they've gone to a good home helps get over the sadness of losing them. There are always other needy cats and kittens looking for your help.

I'm sorry you are so distraught over these two little kittens. Clearly they found a way into your heart. I can understand that you wanted them to find a home with someone where you could stay in contact with them.

But this might actually be better, for you and for them.

If you were to be involved with them (your boyfriend's co-worker adopted them) there would be the bitter / sweetness of "but I should have been able to keep them" and it would be difficult to accept the situation.

Clearly they are an absolutely adorable pair of kittens if so many adopters were lining up. Which also makes it clear why you are so, so very sad.

But - it sounds like the shelter does a good job. Two kittens in a new home means there's space for two more.

If you find it so painful to have kittens in your home that you fall in love with but cannot keep, maybe volunteering AT the shelter would be a way forward.

Hugs and sympathy for your distress. "Your" kittens / cats will find you when the time is right.

I would hope a shelter would give priority to someone just because they applied first, unless all other things are equal.  I know the one I volunteer at tries hard to make a good match for all concerned. 

I do agree with Catapult that maybe you and your boyfriend should volunteer at the shelter and get your kitty fix that way.  I don't know what your shelter is like, but the one I volunteer at has a variety of different tasks they need help with, but the main one is feeding and cleaning up for the cats. You also of course get to love on them to your heart's content.

That's one of the reason's I never became a foster. I figured any cats who come in this house will leave only when they are pried out of my cold dead hands.