When to say goodbye

How do you know when it's time? My Mandie is 15. She's had this quick twitching of her eyes. Like a sudden and momentary thing. She's never pooped outside the box but the other day I found some on my floor. Plus her front shoulders have this awful grating feel sometimes when I pick her up. I believe she has a neurological problem that would account for the twitching. This is a crushing blow as I have been with her for 15 years. She's losing her appetite as well.

If you can before making any decision take your cat to the vet to see if there is anything that can be done to help her. In my case there was nothing the vet could do.

This one of the hardest things we have to figure out for our fur kids.  I had two seniors that I had been in my life since birth. When they started having health issues my hubby and I sat down and actually had a discussion about what things were important to the quality of our cats lives.  It was a hard thing to sit down and do but it was really helpful when it did come time to make a decision.  They were born April 30, 1995.  Claude passed away in 2010 and Tegato in 2012.  They both had strokes and their quality of life went down hill quickly and drastically.  The discussion was helpful but you will also just know in your heart when it is time to say goodbye to your baby.

I agree with CatLover 73.  The vet can give you the best advice & then you will feel better whatever decision you make. 

Riley1 said:

 
I agree with CatLover 73.  The vet can give you the best advice & then you will feel better whatever decision you make. 

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Me, too.  My prayers will be with you and your girl.  

Follow your heart, not your head. You can always rationalize how it's OK to wait a little longer even when your heart says it's time. Vets give good insight but keep your cat in mind, first and foremost, so that your last memories are not filled with pain, suffering and heartache. All my cats are (were) ferals and I've never had a chance to say goodbye. I just miss them so. But we have lots of dogs in the house (we do poodle rescue) and we've had to make that hard choice many times. 

Any pet that has loved you all their lives for what you do, will love you at the end as well. 

Going outside the box can be a simple signal of an illness or discomfort. The Vet needs to see her and find out what's going on. Eye twitching and other issues too need to be evaluated.

For terminally ill cats, I heard a veterinarian on tv say, "make a list of the cat's 3 favorite things to do, it could be a special meal, certain toys, certain things you do together, a favorite place, etc... WHEN they are no longer interested in those things - it MAY be time to consider bringing them in..."

We have been through this with our 17 year old who recently died after being diagnosed in January with an inoperable firbrosarcoma... As I look back now, many many things that shaped her personality and fun things she did - had actually been happening with much less frequency or stopping all together over the last 8-12 weeks... it's weird - but I was hanging on so hard I wasn't even noticing all of those sweet little things she did - had disappeared as she got deeper into her illness.

Anyway, my advice is - going outside the litter box? twitching of eyes? shoulder issue? take to the vet and get professional opinion... sometimes it is something simple or something that can be fixed...

She eats good sometimes but often leaves food behind. She walks around and does stairs (even runs up sometimes, sorta) but doesn't really play. Sometimes she seems so normal, just aged. Aging I can deal with. I'd never put her to sleep for that. I talked to a friend who had a cat with a brain tumor and had eye twitches. I don't want her to think I am abandoning her or I don't love her. This is excruciating.

I went through this same thing Thursday. My 14 year old stopped eating and drinking and was just sleeping 24/7. On the second day with no improvement, we brought him in (even that was hard, he is so terrified of the vets) and they did blood tests and took his temperature which was 104 degrees.  (normal 101) white blood cell count normal, along with everything BUT his temp. They gave him sub Q water and an antibiotic, which I had to quit because of diarrhea. 5 days later he is still not eating great, but is more active and appears to be more interested in life again. I guess what I'm trying to say is go to the vet first, then you will know you did everything you could, my sweet Burt is still not out of the woods, but I'm hopeful.I'll pray for you and your precious Mandie, it may be a virus or something that will get better. All the luck!

Mandie, over the months would paw at her stainless steel water bowl when she ran out. So I'd refill it, she'd drink then later paw at it again. But she had enough in it then. She ate a good breakfast today but later won't eat or won't eat much. I thought the bowl thing was senility. In fact except for the eyes for the most part I thought it was old age and just a natural part of the process. Not all senior kitties are still kittens. Even if they aren't ill. Did I say that that it makes sense? In other words there are old age processes that can't be helped. I told Mandie that when her time comes, when age is going to take her then it's ok. Holly and I will be ok. I don't want to have to make this choice as I had to with Cocoa. Although it was different with him.

Mandie has crossed the Bridge: http://www.thecatsite.com/t/299060/mandie-is-with-her-siblings