Whining

I came to this site for advice. I've ready read some good advice!

Even though I've had cats my whole life, it isn't until I got the two I have now that I've been so frustrated. Sorry for the long post.

The background. After my long time and most favortist cat ever was put to sleep, I decided to get two cats. My husband thought it was best to have indoor only cats. I hated the idea, but agreed. We found two 4 mo kittens at a local cat shelter. We had played with them for a bit and decided we would take them home. After all the paperwork and stuff, of course.  

When the lady brought them to our house they were whining like crazy. My guess is they got it in their heads that when they went in the cat carrier it was "bad". They are like that to this day. I know a part of me is still comparing them to my previous cat who was nothing like that. But even so, it's really annoying. It's the end of the world crying sort of thing. Thankfully, we don't have to do that too much. I haven't tried Feliway yet, but I heard that helps. 

Anywho...

We are pretty sure they are litter mates and I was equally sure that they would entertain each other. We are gone a long time out of the day because of the long drive to work and the 9 hours I have to be at work. 

I'm quite sure on some level they are glad to have each other, but honestly, they don't get along all that well. They have very different personalities. Gretchen, the calico, is intelligent and really should've been allowed to be an outdoor cat. The world being her playground. Lexi, although quite the sweetie, isn't all that bright. If separated from G she would've been content being an indoor cat. Consequently, Gretchen has always been bored and made trouble and Lexi has learned her behavior. And because of my long days, I've never really had the time to play with G like she needs. 

Gretchen started the whining. She's also smart enough to know she can't always get away with it. Lexi on the other hand...keeps doing it. 

At night we put them downstairs for bed. Neither my husband or I have really have the patience to deal with the 2-4 a.m. "feed me NOW" issues. G will jump on us and play with anything she knows is annoying to us until she gets her way.

In the mix, I'm guilty of letting them have their way. I tried to appease them because honestly I felt sorry for them. 

This isn't the first time they've been completely on my nerves. We tried to take them back to the cat shelter a couple years ago who "promised" they'd take them back no questions asked. But that didn't happen.

At this point, I put up with them. I don't overly like them, but would feel super guilty giving them away not knowing they would get a good home. So, I'm trying to work on changing my behavior as well as theirs.  

Advice Needed. One of the many helpful things I read today was that you shouldn't feed your cat first thing in the morning. Which is, of course, what we do. Why is that? I know our cats will whine like crazy until they get their food. I also believe that if we waited until we walked out the door to leave they would whine the whole time anyway. Even if we ignore them. 

Also, it's super hard to ignore them when they whine after we get home. We feed them first thing, of course. But it doesn't take long for them to start whining again.

I know I need to play with them more. 

I might be missing the advice I need even in my reading. So any advice is appreciated. 

--

Rebecca

Rebecca - so very sorry about the delay in replies to your thread! It sounds to me that your cats are just plain BORED and a bit demanding at the same time. All cats are different, as I have found over the years. Some you never hear a peep out of or see much day/night and others follow you around, hounding you day/night and always seeming to need something. I have two cats like yours but thankfully, they are quiet at night, no mewing BUT one of them does walk on me and lay across my head which disturbs my sleep. I just put up with it though even though I do tend to get frustrated and tired of it at times. Of course, I always recommend playtime and I find that when I play with my cats (wand toys) in the evening then I don't get bothered so much at night.

Do you leave food out overnight? Dry food? You could offer some kitty treat ball toys that you fill with kibble to keep them occupied at night when they decide they need something to do. Do you have lots of vertical space in your home? Near windows? Sometimes adding more vertical space does wonders for bored kitties.

I was going to ask if they were part Siamese because that breed is definitely more vocal and whinny! I know, I had one. It could be that your cats are just very talkative and not much you can do to change that! What type of food are you feeding? Yes - I have always fed my cats first thing in the morning too and most people do that too. Mine are pretty patient though until I go to the feeding room. Sorry I don't have a great answer for you and hopefully others will chime in here with vocal kitties and offer support. :cross:

Boredom was my thought too!  I also was wondering about cat trees and that sort of thing.  A treat ball is a good idea too!

Have you tried rotating interactive toys?  Toys like da bird, the cat dancer, wand toys, a laser pointer, etc?  

thanks for the responses! we have one tree for them to climb on and they both like it. Lexi most though. We also have a table by the front table that they love to sit on. 

I've never heard of a treat ball. I will look into that. I saw this creative feeder a while back that someone made that had the cats working for their food. I think G would do well with that. I'm not that creative though.

I did try a rotating toy for a bit, but they got bored after a few times. Then it broke. I should look into some other options.

I do see their toys strewn about sometimes. I put them in the cubby on the tree and they find them. 

I need to get better about playing with them for a bit at night. 

I appreciate the suggestions!

Some cats are more vocal than others, that is for sure.  I don't know if much of it could be out of boredom or not, but others seem to think so and it couldn't hurt to do more interactive play.

I have a pair of litter mates at home as well.  They get along mainly ok but do have their differences and aren't ones to be found cuddling together too often.  Two females, I think that makes being best buddies less likely based on my limited observations.  They do entertain each other more than if it were just one single cat, though, although I also had a single cat for a long time before these two. 

In terms of feeding timing, I have been avoiding feeding them when we first get up and when we first get home, and that has gone okay.  They definitely look for feeding, especially in the morning, but they are not vocal until I actually start prepping the food.  Even just in the last few days the one cat has started to go a little over the top with the meows while I'm filling the bowls.  To be fair, it does take me a while with what I'm doing at the moment, a combination of rehydrated freeze dried and canned food, plus weighing it all.  In the evening they are often still a bit sleepy when we get home so it's not that big of a deal.  Plus on weekend days it is a little more likely to be getting up closer to their feeding time.   On a weekday I get up about 6:30 and feed about 7:30.  (On a weekend with no alarm I might barely be getting up at 7:30, but they definitely wouldn't let me sleep too much later!)  In the evenings we usually get home by around 6:00 and they get fed at 7:30 then as well.

We don't have any middle of the night issues despite having the bedroom open to them all night long.  They are conditioned to know we don't react to that, and they have adjusted to our schedule.  They might get up and start being a little active around 6am or so, but that's around the time we start getting active anyway.  I wasn't sure it would be possible to do this either, I thought night interruptions might be a given, but it really is possible to not have those!  These two cats are close to 6 years old.

Are you sure they would whine incessantly until fed, or is it only because you can't take it for more than a few minutes?  Because if I'm up and doing something in the kitchen where I prep the food, that might fake out the cats and they might be a little vocal for a minute.  But if I'm sitting down and doing something else, they are not vocal.  They may give off some impatient vibes but not by meowing.  The other thing is you may have to tolerate it for several days or a couple weeks or something to shift the feeding time, but once the feeding time is shifted and new routine more established, you may have better luck.

It does take some serious resolve to try to change cats' habits!  They are very routinized but they are also able to be conditioned.  Right now they are associating you waking up and you getting home and their whining with being fed and getting attention.  So to break them of that habit you have to change up the feeding time and stick with it, regardless of what they do.   The trick is to try to associate giving them attention and giving them food as much as possible with times that they are not incessantly whining. This is going to be pretty hard because they have a long association with whining until you give in.  But it really should be possible if you commit to it.

By the way, they are not doing anything to be purposely annoying.  They don't understand that.  They are repeating actions that have brought their desired results in the past.  The fact that it's annoying to you is immaterial to them. ;-)  All they are looking for is a response.  So try not to blame them for being annoying.  They are only doing what has brought them a response in the past (even if the response is to shout at them; they don't really understand negative response).

Anyway, the point is to suggest there is some hope you can change their behavior, but it does take a serious effort to not give in to them.  Good luck with it!

thanks for the advice, 2bcat!

They might just be two talkers as pointed out, but even so, it sounds like they do want something...food as you mentioned and maybe playing. If you don't want to play with them, you can get them new toys...there are so many cat toys. I spoil my cat baby with lots of toys. I don't play with her as much as I should. *guilty look* I personally love talking kitties. Sometime she plays with her different toys by herself. She seems to often like to do so around 2:00 am. In my bedroom. =/ I know she does it to try to wake me up, but I usually go back to sleep except once.

Maybe I like talking kitties because the first cat I fell in love with was a talker. My kitty doesn't talk much, but I have come to realize that when she does, something is wrong usually. Also, one of the other cats I lived with for a while was a talker and probably part Siamese. I thought it was cute and funny when he would have conversations with himself. For the food thing, if you're not leaving food out for them, it's understandable that when they're hungry, they'll talk a lot. They can't get the food by themselves...My cat was waking me up at 6:00 am or even earlier to get food. She tried jumping on my chest from the ground and running in place which would always scare me awake with heart palpitations, but I always went back to sleep. She tried jumping from the floor to kick me awake...yes, kick. Many, many times in a single morning. She's tried pawing my mouth to wake me up, even hitting my mouth with her paw. Unfortunately, I sleep heavily due to medications and made her wait for her wet food breakfast. Then, she got ill and then stopped eating wet food (which is MUCH worse than her kicking and pawing me in futile attempts to wake me up)...anyway, sorry for the long story. She has been trying to wake me up again lately, which is a good sign. I'm thinking about getting her an automated cat food feeder, which could be something for you to think about as well. I leave dry kibble out for my cat baby all the time because she is a grazer and doesn't have a weight problem, so I would put an ice pack and wet food into the feeder so that she can have wet food for breakfast. 

Actually, I'm remembering now that the cat I fell in love with was a whiner, not a talker.   I guess I didn't consider it "whining" because I loved her talking to me. The male cat that is probably part Siamese was a talker, not a whiner. A worrywort kind of talker. 

I'm sure the others are right about your cats being bored (and that they don't care if you're annoyed with them as long as you're giving them what they want). There are quite a few good suggestions here. I have a couple more to add:

1. There are interactive puzzle feeders on the market that exercise the mind while rewarding the body (http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=puzzle+feeder+for+cats&tag=&tag=thecatsite). You could also make your own - here are some tips from Purina: https://www.purinaone.com/cats/enrich-feeding-time-for-your-cat-make-a-puzzle-feeder.

2. Another way to entertain them is to buy a feeder ball - it has holes on the top half that are adjusted to fit the size of kibble. As the cats roll the ball around, it rewards them with treats. Mr. Grimsby was quite good with this toy. Bertha, on the other hand, watched him feed himself a hundred times but never figured out how he did it (she's sweet, but not the brightest spark).

3. As someone suggested, leave kibble out for them overnight or set up an automatic feeder to open about the time they start whining. As for not feeding them in the morning, I think it's recommended not to feed them first thing when you get up. Putter around the house, make yourself a cup of coffee or tea, or even read a section of the paper before putting out their food. That way they won't associate your getting up with them getting fed.

You've already suggested playing with them more, and that would probably help too.

As 2bcat pointed out, you've established a feeding pattern that doesn't fit your lifestyle, so you need to work hard to change that. Be patient with your kitties as they learn the new behavior. It will take time, but you can do it.

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5.4pt;mso-para-margin-top:0cm;mso-para-margin-right:0cm;mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-para-margin-left:0cm;line-height:115%;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}</style><![endif]P.S. Bertha is a talker. She has a stuffed mouse and when she's ready to play she will carry it to whatever room I'm in, drop it on the floor, and start meowing. It's usually just after we've gone to bed; sometimes I reward her by getting up, but generally I ignore her until she goes away. She never knows what to expect, but that hasn't stopped her trying  >^^<

They do like talking, especially Lexi. We'll ask them questions a lot. It's fun to hear the response. Sometimes it really sounds like a no. It can be kind of funny. And sometimes the louder I talk the louder Lexi gets. I have no idea why. It cracks me up.

Someone somewhere asked if they had some siamese in them. I'm not sure. 

After the advice earlier I found a feeder ball and purchased it. I know G will get it, not sure about Lexi. I'm glad for the puzzle feeder ideas as well.

thanks again all!

emerrube said:

Someone somewhere asked if they had some siamese in them. I'm not sure. 

After the advice earlier I found a feeder ball and purchased it. I know G will get it, not sure about Lexi. I'm glad for the puzzle feeder ideas as well.

thanks again all!

Click to expand...

Good on the treat ball toy! pharber-murphy added a link above to some treat type balls - Puzzle feeders. One of which I have two of. They do work great for bored kitties and kitties wanting to self-treat! :lol3:

I asked about Siamese because they are extremely vocal - even the mixes. :nod: