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Christmas present dilemma

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I know I’ve left this a bit late (as always) but I was wondering if anyone could suggest an appropriate Christmas present for my ex’s mum (who I still get along famously with).

The problem is – her son died 4 years ago and she’s still mourning. She’s also sick of people telling her she should be over it by now and trying to cheer her up. She lost interest in practically everything except going to church. She likes church music so I thought it would be nice to give her a CD with choral music – preferably Latin as she doesn’t speak English - that she can put on and have a good cry to when she’s on her own. Can anyone recommend anything?
I really would like to give her something that would mean something to her and not something that’s just going to be put on a shelf and forgotten.

Would appreciate any suggestions



PS - I know this has nothing to do with cats but I didn't know where else to post it
post #2 of 7
If you are into scrapbooking, how about putting together a scrapbook to celebrate his life? Once you lose a child, it is very hard to get past it, and having something tangible she can hug and cry over would be very cathartic for her. Not just pictures of him, but if he was into sports, or hobbies or? Just make her a nice rememberance book to show her that you understand she cannot just shrug off this incredible pain she feels.
post #3 of 7
I personally like Mozart's Laudate Dominum (sp) or his Grosse Messe (High Mass).

The first piece of music always moves me to tears and seems right for Christmas. The second is just a beautiful mass which has huge swooping highs and lows.

Not sure if this is the kind of thing you're looking for musically, but I think your idea of 'private' music is a lovely one.
post #4 of 7
Sorry - I can't suggest any music (I'm hearing-impaired). But as an alternative: how about a "prayer card" or "mass card" from a monastery or convent? Sorry, I'm not a practicing Catholic, but I remember my parents buying a certain number of prayers or masses for the deceased. Another idea would be to promise your mother-in-law that you will take her to a certain number of churches/cathedrals in 2004 to light votive candles and say a prayer. If she isn't a Catholic, surely there is something equivalent in other religions?
post #5 of 7
you know.. i like the scrap book idea...
post #6 of 7
Thread Starter 
Great ideas - thanks everyone!

Merry Christmas
post #7 of 7
If you go with the music idea, another thought would be Brahms "Ein Deutches Requiem" -- It is one of the lovelier requiems, lots of mood changes, to let her agony out and then be consoled. The fourth movement is a setting of the 84th Psalm, transcendentally beautiful. And as for language, it's easy to find in German, as well as English.
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