I'm at my wits end. Very mean cat.

verisandpooka

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Hi there! I'm mom to my three furkids Veris and Pooka(cats) and to a beautiful red nose pitbull named Penny. Veris is the newest addition to my growing family.
Pooka is actually the problem. Being only a year old, she's bitter. She's aggressive to other people, she's not very aggressive to me only when she's like "okay mom that's enough love." She's a very sweet cat but she doesn't show it. I haven't really seen it as a problem because for a while it was just her and I but with a new significant other and two more cute additions (within the span of 3 years this wasn't all at once) she become a lot more stand offish. I got her off of a friend who couldn't care for her anymore. I was alone so I said why not and took her. She's spayed, she has all of her shots and they're up to date. I don't know very much about her background and neither does my friend. I'm just at my wits end because she's physically hurt my other kitten and my pitbull. My pitbull is terrified of her. Is there any thing I can do at home or take her to behavioral classes anything. Please help me. :(
 

betsygee

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Is she acting normally physically--eating, drinking and using the litter box appropriately? 

Have you tried any of the more common approaches--calming collars or treats, or Feliway diffusers?
 

fhicat

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I'm sorry to hear that, it's not acceptable when our cats are mean to other people and other pets. 


When you got your new pets, did you do any introductions with them? Some cats absolutely have to be only cats -- they don't play well with other pets in the same household. 

What I would try for now, is to follow betsygee's advice, and then place Pooka in a separate room all by herself. Her food bowl, litterbox, toys, cat trees, scratching posts, should all be in that room. Not only is it good for introductions; if Pooka has to be an only cat, this minimizes her interaction with the others. We don't know yet for sure. Is there a room you can do this in?
 
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verisandpooka

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She's acting normally, yes. Only thing is she puts litter everywhere which is just plain annoying. But nothing I can't solve with a litter box cover.
It's not only the animals she's aggressive towards, it's me(occasionally), my boyfriend, and anyone else who tries to pet her. She greats me when I walk in and gets all loving but she's just a one (wo)man cat. She really likes to keep to herself. I haven't really tried anything besides booping her on the nose or her head, not to hard, just hard enough where she knows she's doing something wrong and she usually responds to it but then does her own thing. Should I not do this?
They did have a proper introduction, I read up on introducing animals, I did everything right. I hope. I unfortunately don't have a room that she can be herself in.
Is the best option, even though I don't want to do this, to give her up to someone where it can just be her and another person? I love her but if she's not happy, I want her to be somewhere where she is happy.
 

fhicat

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I haven't really tried anything besides booping her on the nose or her head, not to hard, just hard enough where she knows she's doing something wrong and she usually responds to it but then does her own thing. Should I not do this?
It is not the first thing I'd try, only because I don't know how a cat may respond. Some cats "get" it immediately, some others, like my not-smart cat, might not understand what it means. A cat's nose is also super sensitive, so even if you do it very gently, it might not be gentle to the cat. If she responds to it without being fearful, then I think you are fine.. just keep in mind of your size difference.

When my cat does something naughty like attack my hand, I hiss at him and make this wild flailing gesture at him. He stops immediately, but he makes a face that's halfway between "I should run away" and "I should defend myself from those scary flailing hands". Another cat may see that as a sign of aggression from me and they may be stressed or fearful. It works with me and my cat because 1) I am consistent -- I only ever do this when he attacks my hand; 2) I immediately ignore him and cease play. 
It's not only the animals she's aggressive towards, it's me(occasionally), my boyfriend, and anyone else who tries to pet her. She greats me when I walk in and gets all loving but she's just a one (wo)man cat. She really likes to keep to herself. 
Some cats aren't keen on petting. My cat would not let me touch him for more than 5 seconds when I first got him. He would swat and bite me if I did it more than a few seconds. I soon began to listen to him through his body language when he's had enough. It took me a full year before he would allow me to pet him whenever I wanted. Even now, he isn't a cuddly cat. He would sit near me, but never on my lap or on me or curled up in bed next to me. Every day, he would sleep in my bedroom under the bed, away from me and anyone else for a few hours. You wouldn't see him anywhere for that few hours. And then, when he felt like it, he'll come out to "socialize".

He's just that kind of cat, and I respect that.

Could it be that Pooka gets easily overstimulated? A separate room, or space (blocked off with a baby gate, for example) seems like what she needs. Fro mwhat you described, she loves you, she just doesn't like to share you with the others.
Is the best option, even though I don't want to do this, to give her up to someone where it can just be her and another person? I love her but if she's not happy, I want her to be somewhere where she is happy.
I think only you can decide that. Some cats absolutely have to be an only cat -- my foster was like that. She hated Jed (and poor Jed liked to follow her around to play) and she has had bad experiences with men in the past, so she always avoided me. Thankfully we got her adopted after a couple of months by a nice lady who was grieving for her cat and needed to fill the hole in her heart.

Is it best for your cat? Only you can tell, I think. If Pooka has to be an only cat, it's not a happy life for her to have to compete for your attention, and to be stressed to be around other pets. I think the most important thing is, before you decide on rehoming, ask yourself, "Have I done absolutely everything within my power, exhausted every other option?" If you can answer "yes" to that without hesitating, without guilt, and with confidence, then you are doing what is best for her.
 

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Try a spray bottle with water with plain old water as a bad behaviour deterrent. Cats do not learn by being struck, no matter how gently. Physical discipline will only make the cat think of you, and possibly other humans, as "the one who hits me" (for lack of a better term). They have spectacular memory, so perhaps this kitty could have been not treated so nicely in her past by previous owners, which could cause her to associate people with being treated unfavourably. This may explain her defensive and somewhat aggressive behaviour toward people. Physical discipline regarding her actions to other animals could even cause her to negatively associate those animals with being struck, making her even more apt to dislike them.

It is definitely a good idea to separate her from the others for awhile. Let her know that she does indeed have "her own" things, and that the new kitten isn't completely taking over, but rather sharing her home. I would venture to say that she wouldn't be pleased with having to share a litter box with the new kitten for quite some time. You could try offering a few boxes and letting her take her pick.

As far as your dog is concerned, I feel that she appears to be establishing her dominance... Perhaps in an exaggerated way, since this animal is probably larger than her. If you have the space, try out a cat perch on the wall where she can be far out of reach of your dog, but able to keep an eye on her at the same time. This could help her to feel less threatened and may alleviate some of the aggressive tendencies. Vertical spaces really do wonders for cats. Especially if placed in an area that the family spends a lot of time in. This way, she can be around but not necessarily involved.

Some cats just need more time and patience to acclimate to new situations than others. Give her space away from the others, an opportunity to readjust, and, very importantly, time with just you. Make sure to show her the love and attention that you would if the dog and new kitten weren't there. Kitties can feel jealousy, too!

Good luck! (:
 
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