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At Wits End! Vent :(

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
I don't know where to post this. I need to vent. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it. My fiancee is wonderful but I haven't spoken to anyone outside of the situation and lord knows that we as a couple would rather not dwell on the whole thing.

We've had new neighbours move into the block of duplexes of where we live. These neighbours are also my finacee's co-workers. He's not enjoying work in the first place because some of them aren't doing their jobs. So, for him, it's neverending.

We don't mind that they have parties. We don't even care if it spills on to the streets as long as it's down their end of the street. We don't care if they play their music loud early on in the evening. We don't go to them and do our own thing. It's just that we do not see any point in getting blind drunk. Sure we drink, like the occasional wine with a special meal.

Anyway, each time they have their music on or they're still out in the streets acting like overgrown children screaming and what not, my fiancee has gone over to ask them to quieten down as we want to get sleep. And these times are always after midnight or at some other times 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. And on weekdays, it's been after 10:00 because of work the next day. Although, my fiancee works seven days a week with no day off, yet his co-workers get days off. (Long story that really 's me.) And the doctor has said that my fiancee has gotten ill because of working so much.

We have called the police once or twice but this is after telling them that we will call them if they don't quieten down. We give them 15 minutes and they have at most 15 people at these gatherings by the time we say anything. We don't have to ask them to quieten down, we can just call the police and it gets recorded onto their rental record. I'm not sure whether they're aware of it or not. The landlord won't do anything because he is also the employer and at times, his son and son's girlfriend are involved.

We're all around the same age. Though I think the oldest age is 22 which is also my age and my fiancee's age. There are younger ones there but I don't know how old they are. We understand that people celebrate but we need sleep.

Now, they've decided to call me Maggot, my first name being Magdeline. Someone in the group who don't particularly share their views on things have told us this in the hope of both sides sorting things out. I suppose it's harder for them to put a play on words with my fiancee's name. My fiancee isn't particularly too happy and neither am I.

We've decided that from now, we will just call the police and to hell with the consequences. We pay rent on time and in advance. We have every right to sleep. We do feel angry because we've tried to do the right thing by them and it's not appreciated.

I suppose my biggest question is that have we been fair? Are we over-reacting? Or are we being old fuddy duddies?

And, yes we are currently looking for somewhere else to live. Yet another move for the kitties.
post #2 of 25
I sympathise with you, and no your not fuddy duddies!, everyones different.

I had a similar problem a few years ago when i lived in an apartment. The people below were alcoholics and played their music really loud. Neither of them worked so they did'nt have to worry about getting up for work.

I'm a typical scorpio with a short fuse if anyone gets on the wrong side of me, and it ended up where i hammered on their door and threw a set of headphones at him!!, and it worked.

Here in the UK, our local council are coming down on neighbours who cause problems such as this, and can eventually end up in prison.

At the end of the day, they have to respect that you both have work the next day, and should give you both some consideration!.

post #3 of 25
I would phone the police every time.

You have tried everything else, and that is a real mess of a situation, with the work, landlord, and your fiancee all involved that way. You are not being fuddy duddies, but even if you were, its still your right to enjoy peace and quiet. What a bunch of idiots!
post #4 of 25
I understand how you feel, before I moved I endured 2 years of sleepless nights because of my neighbours dog. Don't get me wrong this was NOT the dogs fault! My neighbours would leave her alone to go out and she would break her heart, she'd bark three times then take a breath, bark three times and take a breath....from the time they left to the time they came home(often early hours of the morning), they had this dog for at least 15 years (since they moved in next to me) and only started going out the last two years.

I complained to them in a calm friendly manner and they did NOTHING! I wouldn't take it further incase the dog got the blame, the poor old dog has been put to sleep since I moved because of old age. I still don't sleep well.

The doctor said because of the barking I'm now hyper sensitive to noise when I'm trying to sleep, I don't sleep in the same room as my boyf anymore because he snores. Before the dog it didn't bother me. I wish I'd been more forceful with them, if I wasn't so scared of dogs I'd have offered to sit for them. The worst thing is that I cannot have Jeepers in the bedroom if I'm trying to sleep, my boyf gets all the kitty cuddles.

You have a right to complain if this is disrupting you, especially during the week. You've tried being friendly about it, let the police deal with it! You don't need the extra stress!
post #5 of 25
Most communities have noise-abatement laws. Here, in Tucson 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. is "no loud party time". Since May, the cops have been really cracking down. If they get repeated calls, to an apartment building or rental unit, the owner gets fined $100 per day, until they evict the troublemakers.

This is mostly aimed at controlling underaged drinking, by the university kids but, it works on chronic partiers, too. Check your local laws. You may, also have recourse in a civil case.
post #6 of 25
I just absolutely hate that crap they call music, with the loud, booming bass, and will call the cops every time. It just infuriates me that these ignorant people think the rest of the neighborhood want to hear that obscene trash. We have a special line here for it, and also a noise ordinance.
"Rap, the last word in crap!"
post #7 of 25
You have my sympathy - I've had neighbors like that - they'd still be up partying at 6 am when I left for work. You have every right to expect them to show some common courtesy for their neighbors, no matter how young or old you are - that's part of living in a duplex or apartment. Unfortunately, if the landlord is on their side, nothing will probably happen. But I'd still keep calling the police every time - find out if there are any noise rules for the community, and what they are, and call the police the moment they violate them.

Until you can move, you might want to try wearing earplugs, combined with running a fan or 'white noise' machine. Just make sure you have a really loud smoke alarm that you can hear with earplugs in. It also might help to move your bed to the farthest room from the conjoined walls.

Good luck!
post #8 of 25
I can sympathize also, you've tried other nice ways of resolving the issue - it is time for the cops to be called, each and every time.

I grew up in a loud neighborhood, and would always sleep with a fan on for the sound "coverup" I now sleep with an air purifier on high for the background humm - in hotels I will turn the radio on to a static station for my sleep time. Weird I know, but it works for me. Plus it is always nice to confuse the sales people when looking for a new air purifier - they say "This one is the quietest out there", and I say "No, I am looking for a noisy one"
post #9 of 25
I think providing you've tried all the 'nice' routes, you should go for it and ensure the police are aware that you have nuisance neighbours. You should call them whenever you need to - that's what they're there for.

We had a couple of incidents with neighbours, one led to us forming a firm friendship with the people next door (they apologized for their noise and went out of their way to make amends), the second, with new neighbours - 2 days after I'd brought my baby back from hosiptal, led me to bash their door so hard it left a dent. He's now not speaking to us - but he sure ain't having any loud parties either!!!

I think everyone's pretty well experienced next-door-idiots, and I would say there is no half mesures, let them know what you think and take any action you need to to make sure you get a good night's sleep.

Good luck!!!!
post #10 of 25
Thread Starter 
Thanks guys! Your words have reassured me. And a couple of giggles too.

We will be checking into local noise laws soon, say tomorrow. It will be Friday and all so I think the immature lot down the street are bound to have a party especially after my fiancee has had more words with them today, and specifically the person who started the name calling. And it's been made crystal clear to most of the group that there will be no friendly requests, just red and blue lights heading their way.

And his reason, well it stems from my fiancee approaching him about treatment of a dog. He moved out from the duplex directly next to ours, along with the other people who were living there too. However, they left a dog behind in the backyard. We had a problem because we never saw anyone feed her, she never had fresh water. She had no shelter provided and temperatures were in the 40s, (105F range). So after he decided to deal with it by offering to punch my fiancee's lights out, we offered to call the council ranger if nothing was solved over the weekend. He decided that the complaint was made by me, not as from us as a couple. (And these are the same people that can't work out why we're engaged and why their relationships go nowhere. ) So the name calling started from there and that was like six months ago.

Though he does apparently see reason now though makes no promises about stopping it. Though my fiancee did point out to him that it still is interpreted as us because it was us that made the complaint. And that at the end of the day it's he who is being the child. (Just found out he's 27 years old! I would have given him 19 at most.)

So, wish us luck this weekend.
post #11 of 25
For a while I was working with people while I was in college and yes we got plastered every non work night, stayed up til 3 or 4 am, etc, partying. But even then we wouldn't be so loud as to bother neighbors and we certainly wouldn't take the party outside in the middle of the night. That's just rude. I mean I think everyone has the right to decide on how to spend their free time but I don't think they should be allowed to impose on others. Just the other day me and some friends went out and got a little wasted and they started fighting in the parking lot of one of their apartment complexes and I was just like OMG you know some people do like to sleep and stuff. They ended up getting "Warned" by the landlord so I doubt it will happen again.

But I'm just saying from the all night party girl side, even *I* think that it's wrong and rude of them to behave in that way.
post #12 of 25
Thread Starter 
I used to party all night but I think I grew out of it rather quickly. Don't get me wrong, I love going out all night still but they're rather tame these days.

I remember when I was an all night party girl that I was always the one to suggest quietening things down for the neighbour's sake. And if it wasn't going to happen, I left the party.
post #13 of 25
Age has nothing to do with being considerate towards one's neighbors. I know people 3x your age who are like your fiancee's co-workers and what is worse, they are proud of being such jerks!
I agree with the rest,use all legal means to stop their behavior. I also hope you find a new and better place although it is a pity that by you moving out,those guys will probably think they won the fight.
post #14 of 25
I would keep calling the police, and maybe notify your landlord each time something like that happens. I don't know what the tenant laws are where you live, but maybe if there are enough complaints they can be asked to leave?

A few years ago, there were some people who lived in the building across the street from me. I think they must have been drug dealers, because there were always cars stopping, people going in the apartment and leaving right away. Or someone would come out of the house and lean into the car, then the people would leave. Enough people complained, and those people left.
post #15 of 25
Thread Starter 
The current landlord doesn't really abide by tenant's rights. Though these duplexes are currently in negotiation with new owners where things will be done by the book. Finally!

Each time I call the police, it's noted down and recorded. And being a rental property it gets recorded and passed on to the Real Estate Agency. But that's an arrangement that has been set up by the landlord and law enforcement here. So, he can ignore it for all he wants but I'm sure the new owners won't.

Other neighbours have marched up to the landlord at his store to complain. Not much comes of it though.
post #16 of 25
I know someone in a similar situation, although she had the benefit of a very involved neighborhood association behind her. She had the tenants from hell move into the house next to hers. She called the police abt noise & the like, but she also started watching what was going on a bit more closely, and determined that there were unsupervised minors in the house whenever the rowdiness broke out, and more importantly, that there was underage drinking going on. Once she reported that to the police & the owner of the house (I think it was the daughter of someone who had died, who rented the house out because she hadn't decided what to do with it yet, lived no where near the area etc etc.) Once the clear legal violations were reported, the owner immediately evicted the family.

Altho it was a bad situation, she had the advantage that it started in warmer weather, and a lot of what was going on would eventually spill out into the yard, so she got a clear view of who was doing what.

I hope for your sake, the negotiations with a new owner move quickly!
I haven't been in that bad of a situation before, although in the small apt building in which I grew up, we had women regularly in front of the building imploring one of the single male tenants to let them in, the tenant being a rapid 'love'em and leave'em' type. The worse that got was when some gal he broke up with ran up onto the roof yelling that she was going to jump off if he didn't start dating her again. We lived on the top floor so we could hear that pretty well.(She didn't jump.)

We also had a couple right next door to us who owned a local sandwich place. Sometime after they moved in, my parents realized that they would make a lot of noise on the weekends beginning well into the wee hours. They had two adolescent kids, but the noise wasn't from them. Awhile later, the husband invited my father in for a drink, then told him that he and his wife and another couple were making amateur porn movies on the weekends. They would wait until the kids were asleep to start the action. My father finished the drink, thanked him for his offer of a film but declined it, then went back into our apartment & immediately called the landlord. They fought the eviction in court, but my father elected to be a witness and was pretty much irrefutable in his testimony, so they were promptly gone.
post #17 of 25
Thread Starter 
Lucia, that's just insane...the porn part of the story.

The neighbours you had growing up sound worse than mine. I have heard of worse neighbours but those just....well they've left me speechless.

Well Friday night has past and the celebrations were subdued. There was one guy yelling and screaming but the others told him to quieten down in the most colourful way. I couldn't stop laughing at that.

Though I did stop laughing when Russell hissed at something outside.

So hopefully things are going to be quiet around here from now on. **fingers crossed**
post #18 of 25
Thread Starter 
Saturday night just passed and it was actually quiet.

We did go out and got back at 11:30PM and there were people milled around but we got to sleep and no loud DOOF DOOF music either.

post #19 of 25
i'm so glad they seem to have calmed down..... lack of sleep is the absolute worst!
post #20 of 25
Thread Starter 
The entire weekend was peaceful!! It was also the first weekend of the school holidays and I expected more noise especially since there's lots of kids living in the neighbourhood.

Though one neighbour has decided that the next time the noisy mob has a loud gathering, they will get up at a reasonable hour while it's still early and put on some rather loud classical music and opera. By this time, the entire neighbourhood would have awakened apart from the party animals.

I had to laugh. Though I did mention to call the police as that would be more effective. They mentioned that they would do that first but wanted a taste of revenge. So it's not going to be COMPLETELY quiet but I don't mind, I'm awake during the day anyway.
post #21 of 25
We rented a big old farm house during our partying days. Our closest neighbors were 1/4 mile away, and friends. We were as wild as we wanted to be, had parties every weekend, and never got the cops called once. Of course, that was many years ago, during my misspent youth.:goodbad:
post #22 of 25
Wow, Tuscon seems like my cup of tea! I am not too fond of "party people" not only for the noise but because I am always envisioning some schmuk setting a house or two on fire with dropped cigarette ashes or similar freaky accident type thing.

If certain landlords seem to be on the side of college kids, well, it's because the rent they collect from the kids is guaranteed hence the word guarantor, which is the same thing as saying their parents
post #23 of 25
That's good news!

Another idea...
If you can, try to find a phone that has a ring similar to your neighbor's phone, but louder. Put it right next to the shared wall. Hook it up to a speaker if you can. The morning after a loud party, call your home at irregular intervals, starting nice and early in the morning.
post #24 of 25
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by tuxedokitties
That's good news!

Another idea...
If you can, try to find a phone that has a ring similar to your neighbor's phone, but louder. Put it right next to the shared wall. Hook it up to a speaker if you can. The morning after a loud party, call your home at irregular intervals, starting nice and early in the morning.
ROTFLMAO! That's positively evil, yet cunning. My immediate neighbour is wonderful. It's just the ones at the other end of the duplex units. They like to sound as if they're next door.
post #25 of 25

I'm glad your neighbors next door are good. You could always pass the hint on to those who share a wall with the pesky neighbors, if they're bothered by all the noise.
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