Last kiss to goodbye

evaa

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2 months ago my 3-year-old cat was hit by car. I took him to the doctor and she gave him pain relief, anti shock and swelling reduce medication. And told me to wait for 24 hours. So the next morning cat was alive and I took him to the clinic for x-ray and further treatment, but the other vet said that cat’s traumas were too severe so it is better to put him to sleep. We did. He had severe head trauma, dialated pupils, but he was able to recognize environment, head tilt and movement like up and down or cycling, broken jaw, skin was pealed off of tail and anus, he could’t walk, back legs was like paralysed. I was in deep shock since I saw my poor baby hit by car, I didn’t know what to do. And doctors told me not to bring him by car because he needs peace. I regret that I did’t go to the veterinary hospital for radical treatement after he received first aid. I know that sometimes you have to wait and see, but maybe cat’s situation could get better with monitoring him and giving other medicines. When I was waiting for 24 hours, my cat was restless, he didn’t sleep, he could drag himself on front legs, he didn’t pee and poo, his anus was destroyed. After he received first aid his pupils were unequal – one dialated, other not, but in the evening at home they both got dialated. Somewhere deep in my heart I know that putting him to sleep was the best option for him, but I blame myself for not give a try for his treatement.

Treatment would require tail amputation and anal skin area reconstruction. We didn't have x-ray but he probably had pelvis fracture too. After putting cat to sleep, doctor examined his mouth, there was a lower jaw fracture in 2 places. My heart didn't want to let him go :( Doctor was trying so hard to convince me about the humane way to end his suffer. He was a leash cat and sometimes I let him to go for a run and climb trees and he never went to the road. So that day I gave some freedom, he always enjoyed that, and he was running directly to the car, he made a jump and so got theese severe traumas :( I am really gratefull to doctor who ended his suffer, but now I need to deal with my lack of attention, regret and guilt.

I didn't have so much knowledge about the traumas and prognosis when the accident happened, only now I start to realize all that. If I knew, I would have act faster to end his suffer. But the first doctor told to wait. I don't blame her but still think it was unadequately to do nothing. He was still bleeding from nostrils and skin wound was very dirty. I think he wanted to eat and drink but didn't give him, I was afraid because he had his mouth open from the jaw fracture. He was so afraid of all this accident and traumas :( He wanted my help but all I could do is to lock him in my room. I miss him so much, I could him him so much, he enjoyed life and all we did together... but my act of irresponsibility to free him of his leash that day will always be full of regret and deep pain.

I could accept him in whatever condition but that would not be fair for him, for his suffer. If I kept treating him for about 6 months and there would not be any progress, it would be so much harder to say goodbye. It's not a game, it's battle for poor thing's life. And I accept the fact that I let him go peacefully, although it was so painful for my family. We lost our truer form of love. I just cannot believe that he had so unlucky fate.
 

di and bob

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I know of the horrible agony of seeing your precious baby get hit by a car, I saw mine get hit too, and it's something I will never get over. Almost three years later and I still cry when I think of it. You absolutely did the right thing to end your little ones agony. The injuries you described would have been too much to bear. My heart goes out to you, I know the guilt and pain are too much to bear at times, but you have to believe that what you did was the only thing to do. At times the only thing to believe in is the belief that your little one would never want you to go through what you are, he would want you to celebrate the love you shared and not dwell on the end. These beautiful creatures are not able to place blame or hold something that was a horrible, horrible accident against the person they love so much. You gave him three years of love and devotion and I'm sure he loved you so much for that. You should not feel guilt, you would never do anything purposely to hurt someone you love, it was an unforeseeable accident and there was nothing you could do except break your heart. I cry as I think of your pain, I'll pray for you and that sweet little one, the heavens gained a beautiful angel who in time will comfort you from afar through your memories. Bless you for hurting so bad from loving so much, take care...... RIP sweet little boy!
 

nurseangel

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I'm so sorry for your loss.  Please don't feel guilty.  If you had any idea of what would have happened, you would have never let him off the leash.  You loved him and you made the best decisions you could for him, based on medical advice.  The first vet must have thought there was hope, and I know you wanted to give your cat every chance for survival.  If you wouldn't have waited that 24 hours, you would have always wondered if the outcome would have been different.  You had a tough decision.  Bless you.  
 
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evaa

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Thank you! I wish I could be more careful...
 

pharber-murphy

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Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your tragic loss! It's so difficult to lose our loved ones - whether by illness or by accident. Please don't take on the burden of what you could/should have done. Bad things just happen sometimes - you made your little fellow happy by letting him run free occasionally. He was grateful for that freedom and would never blame you for what happened.

You gave him years of love and happiness. And while he's waiting for you to cross the rainbow bridge, he's chasing mice and climbing trees, and frolicking with the other cats with not a care in the world.

Best regards,
 

riley1

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I am sorry for your awful experience of loosing you kitty.  It is tragic that you had to wait as I know how painful that must of been.  Don't feel bad; it was his time to go.  I believe that their souls come to give  love & teach us something.  We all blame ourselves for how the end came about, even if it at our homes.  My kitty left on Jan. 19 at home & still it did not go well. Today I spent a lot of time crying for him.  I started with 3-5 times per day & now only do so once per week or so.   As PHarper said, he is on the other side having a great time while he waits for you.  Be well & at peace.

RIP Little Kitty
 

angelinacat

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I am so sorry to read of your loss.  Please try not to second guess your actions; it won't help and will only make you feel worse.  I lost my beloved Angelina to a neighbor's pit-bull November 30, 2013.  We were not home and were in another state when this happened, and the neighbor took her to the vet.  I've done the "if only..." thing too.  You can see by my username that I am still carrying a torch for her. Just remember the good times your baby brought to your life.  {{{{{{HUGGSSSSS!}}}}}}
 
 
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