Feral need help taming

Picking a cat up is a big deal. For some ferals, it's just never going to happen. I have one like that. I've had others that demand being picked up once they are tame. Here's some thoughts:

- Time, time, time. Go at their pace. We humans have a nasty habit of trying to work everything on our timeline.

- Have NO expectations but do have hope. If you expect something, you're more easily disappointed. I expect nothing from any feral I've had and because of that, I'm always rewarded when ANYTHING good happens.

- If you can pet the cat, try and spend time moving your hand down their chest and belly but keep it moving. You want them to conclude that your hand position is normal and usual.

- If you can pet the cat while he is eating, try moving him just a little as he's "into" chowing down. This worked on one cat I had to the point that I could move his plate and then pick him up and move him closer to it.

- Avoid trying to pick him up while standing over him. We're quite big and their not. 

- When trying to handle him or pick him up, do it on his favorite and most comfortable territory. 

- If you can interact with him while playing, work on touching then. I had a kitten who loved plastic straws and while she was "killing" them, I could really touch her without consequence. I know, it was a kitten. Still....

- I've had great success spraying my hands lightly with Feliway spray before a socialization session. Actually, it's a long process but I do like the spray and it might help reduce some tension.

Did I mention to go slow??? Just kidding but I'm a firm believer that we're on their clock. I'm happy if I can just sit beside a cat I'm socializing and read the Sunday paper to it. To me, that's a success. It's all progress and it's always worth it. 

Hey this boy really needs to be picked up he wanders around the house i can pet him and brush him and he eats treats out of my hand but when i tey to pick him up he lashes out and scratches me. Help!!

I still say that it takes time and some will never want to be picked up. Please don't confuse your desire to pick a cat up with their "need" to accept it. Some never will. Others get along with it and then hit their over-stimulation point and will lash out.

Having said that, try a few things.

Since you can pet him and brush him (many cats see this as the same activity), try to do it and lift his chest just a little and only for a second before releasing him and moving your hand away thereby giving him freedom right away. I had a feral that took a few months to get used to that...a little at a time...until one day I was able to lift him up and drop him in my lap. Once there, I began the usual neck scratch and he laid down and got comfortable. He had begun to expect me to just lift him a little every time I got close and the rest was just a matter of degrees. 

Try not to have a reaction to him lashing out. In his mind, your pulling away or stopping your efforts means that his behavior was successful. In essence, your "giving up" is a positive feedback loop and you're encouraging his actions. Instead, try to hold your ground, wait a moment without more physical contact (which puts you in the aggressor role) and then move forward again. Here, it's only necessary to touch his chest or legs. What you're trying to get across is that you're not intimidated by his actions and that you fully intend to non-aggressively make contact similar to what you'd do by picking him up. If you get a neutral or positive reaction, you MUST reward. Again, it all takes time but watching his body language as you go through this is important. 

Try to pick him up when whatever you're doing is expected and not critical. In other words, no picking up while eating (although soft petting can be a good thing). No surprises. No pulling out from under the bed before picking him up. Make it a part of your actions that he has already accepted and is familiar with. Make pick up attempts an extension of your already well-known routines. This way, you're not introducing something new.....you're adding to already accepted behavior.

Try heavy play to wear him out and build trust. Jumping is good and, if you can, see if you can get him to play closer and closer to you. I like to use a ping pong ball or crumpled paper and throw them around. In time, the "throw" ends up on my lap and if the cat doesn't mind being there....you're on your way.

Finally, if you really MUST pick him up (and I don't fully support this), pick him up with a blanket, set him in your well protected lap right away and try to pet him in the way that he has shown positive results to in the past. You MAY find that he'll hate having his feet not planted underneath him but will settle in as soon as he's on firm ground again. This works better for kittens that with adult cats but, again, IF YOU MUST. Be prepared for some resistance. I've done this with kittens mainly because they fear losing control more than being around a person. An adult cat has more sophisticated defense mechanisms and are further around the feral bend. Again....if you MUST.

If this were me, I'd be happy for everything that's been accomplished and just keep giving it time and building trust. 

i work with kittens all the time but in order for this boy to find a home he must be able to be picked up i know i wouldnt usally force a cat into this but i myself am being pressued kitten season is here he needs to find a home so we can bring in the kittens as they are caught dealing with a huge colony here

This cat is doing well still not able to pick him up though i am able to lift the front half of his body up i wasnt around for a while about 2 weeks and when i went back and he saw me ha meowed first thing he does not do this for my mother i reached in a could touch him so much even tried to purr hes coming along 

I have been able to tame a few cats that were strays in my neighborhood I tamed this female I had and her name was Sparky (who's daughter I now own because she ran out and didn't return). Anyway, one thing I always did was feed her and walked away for at first. To get her to eat since she was thin. I'd do that for about a week and tried to touch her while she ate. She avoided it for a little bit and occasionally would let me at least pet her back.I kept it up and she had eventually let me pet her like my outside cat used to. As said, it just takes time for the cats to adjust.

This is Long Ears now Chase he has come very far since first bringing him inside in May. He is now a very happy and cuddly house cat. He loves being scratch and absolutely loves his belly rubbed. He wanders freely though the house with my other cat he comes up rubs your legs because he wants to be petted me meows and purrs and no more hiding. He sleeps in bed lays out any where on the floor and he plays and he even plays with the foster kittens and cleans them. He is getting a belly now that hes in side always checking his dish to make sure food is in it 

Mani said:

 
I just looked at him and thought, he looks like a 'Bertie', but everyone will probably shout me down in flames...

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I thought he looks like a very distinguished gentleman.  Bertie is perfect!

@  Ddavis - spend as much quiet time with him as you can.  Reading out loud gets him used to your voice and your presence.  Bribery works too, treats, wet food, etc.

It does sound like he's a stray, rather than feral, so although it will take time, chances are he'll get used to being a housecat soon enough.

he has become such a great house cat he infact was a feral born at our local dump around 2-3 years ago but youd never believe it now he absolutely loves people and his inside life

Wonderful! Thank you so much for the update. He's a beautiful boy.

Hes come a very long here are some pictures from cat in the dump to cat in the cage in my basement to cuddly cat who loves me

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Oh wow.. that's just lovely. 

Thank you for sharing.

Ddavis said:

He's doing good. Seems when i leave the room for to long he meows, when i go back though he crawls back into his corner sometimes when my hand is near he will hiss at it.  Decided to put in a small toy with him and he started flicking it around when i left he seems to be coming around but he really needs to be handled tips?? (also name suggestions)
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Boris yes Boris very Russian