HELP! Kitten Intro to Cat Advice

Hi!

So I'm wondering (if it's possible) if I totally botched the introduction of a 9 week kitten to my cat, who is almost 3 years. Before I was able to get the kitten isolated in the bathroom, it got out of my grasp and was met by my cat, who of course hissed, etc. 

I had called my sister about how she introduced her two cats, because it was a miracle they have become friends at all. Her male cat was (and still is) known to viciously try to attack any other cats. He once broke through a screen window trying to chase one down. However, when she took in a 7 month or so old kitten, she said all she did was keep her isolated in the bathroom until he stopped growling, then just supervised, and fed them closer and closer together. She did not completely isolate the other cat unless she wasn't home. A week later, he tolerated the new cat, and a month later they were buddies.

I kept my kitten in the bathroom for a few hours, but my cat didn't even seem to notice she was there. She didn't sniff under the door or anything. I did the towel thing, bringing her the kitten's scent. After a few hours, I let the kitten out. My cat hissed/growled only when the kitten tried to come within 5 feet. My cat never ran away or hid, in fact she stayed in the same general rooms instead of hiding in my bedroom or bathroom. 

When I fed them, I tried feeding my cat in her normal spot in the kitchen and feeding my kitten about 20ft away, in sight, in the bathroom. When she didn't seem comfortable, she herself went up on the counter, still in sight of the kitten, and she felt comfortable enough to eat there.

For some reason, tonight, she wasn't comfortable eating at all. I didn't hear her eat until I isolated the kitten in the bathroom and was playing with it. Then, my cat came and hissed/growled at the door when the kitten came near the door.

Did I botch the introduction by not completely isolating the kitten and following each step by step rule? Should I completely isolate the kitten and begin the "by the book" process of introduction, or should I follow my sisters advice: let them each roam free unless I'm not home, and eventually equilibrium will take place?

Side note: I also found an article in my quest for advice that really unsettled me that I had not seen before, saying that small kittens are the worst idea for trying to get a playmate for your cat. The entire reason I got the kitten was because my cat has never been alone and grew up with another cat, and I had moved. I was looking to get her company, and I thought if I got the smallest thing possible, it couldn't be threatening. Was this a bad idea?

Your advice is GREATLY appreciated!!!

Thanks,

Brie 

brierkelly said:

Side note: I also found an article in my quest for advice that really unsettled me that I had not seen before, saying that small kittens are the worst idea for trying to get a playmate for your cat. The entire reason I got the kitten was because my cat has never been alone and grew up with another cat, and I had moved. I was looking to get her company, and I thought if I got the smallest thing possible, it couldn't be threatening. Was this a bad idea?

Click to expand...

I wouldn't "panic" over this.  It may not be ideal; but that doesn't mean you are bound for failure.  In my humble opinion; it would be much worse to bring a tiny energetic kitten into a home with an elderly cat. At 3 cats are generally calmer than kittens; but are still youthful enough to play.  

Cat introductions can take patience and they are unique to the cats involved.  Generally we recommend following the step by step instructions and taking it back a step if things aren't going so well.  It seems the patience pays off in the long run.  There are some cats who can be introduced like your sister's.  My cats growing up were introduced that way and it was fine for some.  Others have needed the separation and deliberate, gradual introductions.  I personally would chose a more cautious approach; simply because I'd like to avoid having to "back up" steps if at all possible. 

MoochNNoodles said:

It seems the patience pays off in the long run.  There are some cats who can be introduced like your sister's.  My cats growing up were introduced that way and it was fine for some.  Others have needed the separation and deliberate, gradual introductions.  I personally would chose a more cautious approach; simply because I'd like to avoid having to "back up" steps if at all possible. 

Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your reassurance.

Patience is one of my worst traits, so I will need all the help/advice/support I can get.

Because I don't want my older cat to feel ambushed, especially after a locational move, I am going to take things as slowly as possible from this point on.

I've named the kitten Lilo and my older cat is Pepper.

Today, Pepper hissed once under the door at Lilo while she was crying. Lilo desperately wants to be let out, but she doesn't cry for long until she either gets distracted or realizes it's not going to happen.

I'm not going to try to make any kind of sight meeting happen until Pepper begins eating regularly again, or as close to regularly as possible. It was better tonight (she ate half compared to basically none at all).

Last night I took a big fluffy blanket into the bathroom while I stayed with Lilo, and tonight I took it out and put it on the couch. Pepper came up as if to sit on me, and immediately sniffed it. She then left and she's now watching the bathroom door from under my bed.

Hopefully tomorrow night she will eat even more!

brierkelly said:

Hopefully tomorrow night she will eat even more!

Click to expand...

Here is my standard introduction technique, adapted from various behavior sources.  But before i started any new introduction, i would get the cat who isn't eating well, eating very well before i re-started this.

---\

There are several steps to a successful introduction, the goal being BFFs, not enemies or angry at you (especially the resident cat).  A careful introduction raises the stress level in incremental steps, allowing both cats, especially the resident cat time to acclimate to the stressor before being introduced to the next level.  You are going to move the "bar" closer and closer to the resident cat until the final step, a supervised face-to-face, becomes  a fender bender and not a car crash.

Step one: Complete separation, putting the new cat is a small room like a bathroom with food, litter and water.  Do not let the cats see each other - too much stress too soon.  Give the new cat time to adjust.  Give both cats time (a week+/-) to get used to this.  They will know each other is there.  Start feeding the resident cat nearer to the door, adjusting daily until he is at the door eating. Do voluntary scent exchange by rubbing the new cat's cheeks on a sock and then offering the sock as a gift to the resident. Don't force him to smell the sock, don't rub it on him. Observe his behavior and allow it.   Rub a clean sock on his cheeks and offer it to the new cat.  Continue to do this but never force either cat to interact with the other cat's sock.

When they are reasonably calm with everything in step one go to:

Step Two:  Allow the cats to see each other.  Two baby gates stacked on top of each other in the open door is a great way.  Cracking the door open and blocking it into position so they can't get through the door is another way.  With many cats the stress of this will make them revert, but it would have been much worse if you had started with this step.  Continue as if this was step one, but now with them seeing each other.  When they are both calm, no hissing or growling, you can go to:

Step Three: After eating meals and feeling satisfied (full stomach = less aggressive) and trimmed nails, you can start to do brief supervised introductions face to face.  Watch their body language and reactions and increase their time together until you are confident that they can manage on their own.

In General, treat the resident cat like he is King.  Don't do things to make him jealous. Don't discipline either cat for showing aggression, punishing them for what they feel is a normal behavior (and is normal for them) just raises the stress.  And follow your cats' lead on the speed of the introduction, there are no rules other than to listen to them.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/