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How long did you greive

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I know I'll never get over losing Smokey. It was September 26th that she went to the brige, I realized over the weekend that even though I though I wasn't still deep in the greiving process I have been. I have distanced myself from my freinds & have not been going to chruch or seeing them. Something made me think about it this weekend & I realized that I didn't want to have any fun. I didn't want to be happy, I just wanted to be alone in my appartment not feeling anything. This past weekend I spent some time with my freinds & had a good time. We laughed a lot & it felt good. The last time I did something with them all I could think about was getting home, but not yesterday. I didn't want to leave when it was time to go I wanted to keep having a good time. So I hope I'm over the worst of it now, but I'm wondering is it unusal to greive deeply for the loss of a pet for almost three months? I wasn't crying or anything, I think I was in the depresion phase where I just wanted to be alone.
post #2 of 17
Grieving varies from person to person. I know when my mother passed away, it was months before I could really "feel" again. And I tell you that because losing Smokey was more than just losing a "pet". Smokey was your best friend, your companion in good and bad times. That he was a little shorter and furrier than most of your other friends and family doesn't matter - your love for him was just as deep.

For those of us who truly love our companion animals like you did Smokey, the grieving process is the same as when we lose a human companion.
post #3 of 17
You are not alone grieving for a long time ((((((HUGS)))))) to you .
I know I still grieve at times over Kikko , he died in July this year . It was very heart breaking for us (hubby&me) loosing him .Of cours Calipso just passed away a few weeks ago , this still hurts deeply .
post #4 of 17
Rang_27, losing a cherished pet can be just as hard and sometimes even harder, as losing a family member or other special person. Smokey was obviously very special to you, and she was a very important part of your life for 17 years, which is a long time for a pet. Like others here have already said, the grieving process varies from person to person, and for some it takes longer than others.
post #5 of 17
We lost isadora on June 13th and it still hurts. I get teary eyed when I see pics of her. We wasn't with us for very long but she was my first and only solid black kitty
post #6 of 17
**Big hugs to everyone.**

People grieve in different ways and for different periods of time. There is no correct length of time to grieve. Smokey was and is still special to you. She was part of your life for a long time. It's okay for you to take your time grieving.

post #7 of 17
I think it's best to take it one day at a time.
You've lost your companion, and only us cat lovers can understand what it's like to lose one.

Although i grew up with cats at my parents, i just took them for granted as being 'there', if that makes sense?, although still got upset when we lost one.

But now i have Rosie,my very own cat, who gives me so much joy at some of the mischievous things she gets up to, and i dread the day she leaves me!.


Every cat has it's own personalities

post #8 of 17
My sweet girl passed more than a year ago, and I still grieve. But the intensity has faded, and I've stopped seeing her out of the corner of my eye all of the time like I used to. She was there for me since I was a teenager, through some very difficult times, and some very happy times. I have a tortoishell teddy bear (colored just like my Tortie girl) the I put her collar on, that I would hug when I missed her, and the other cats would come & purr with me. I think that's helped too. It's faded to an occasional "I miss her" thought, from the intense initial grief. Now I think of her young and happy, chasing butterflies over the Rainbow Bridge, and think about how I miss her, but it's not so sad anymore.

You'll never replace her, but I do believe the grief will fade over time, and be replaced with fond remembrance.

pet loss support page
post #9 of 17
Originally posted by tuxedokitties
I do believe the grief will fade over time, and be replaced with fond remembrance.
I definitely agree. My cat Midnight was also very special, and it's been almost 2 1/2 years since we lost her. I still miss her sometimes, but it's not a really sad type of thing, I don't want Midnight back anymore, and I don't want to try to replace her either. I am glad I was able to help make Midnight's passing as easy and painless as humanely possible, and I concentrate on the happier memories, not the sad ones. One of my favorite memories of Midnight is of the very first time I saw her at the no-kill shelter she was living in. She was very young and healthy back then.

Please continue talking to us about Smokey whenever you feel the need...
post #10 of 17
Mentos passed on 12/14........ it's really tough, I'm still grieving. And that was the first time I've cried for a long time. I only had him for 4 short years....

I think pets are harder to lose than people (given the same amount of affection towards that individual), because it's much harder to get good closure with your pet.

It's difficult to know what they went through, if you did everything you could, etc. etc. many unanswered questions because they cannot speak to us.

I know I will miss Mentos forever......
post #11 of 17
"I think pets are harder to lose than people "

A lot of people don't understand how deep feelings for a pet can go. You get more sympathy for the loss of a human loved one even tho the grieving process is the same. I was watching a TV show last night and a gentleman was in therapy. He was crying because his ex-wife won't let him see his pet anymore. The therapist told him to GET REAL, this is not real pain...real pain is a kid with no home, etc etc etc. What those people don't understand is that, for us, it IS real pain to loose a pet. These are not "pets" but your children. I lost Shalimar 4 years ago and I still get misty sometimes or look for her when I come home.

All I can share with you is that it gets easier.
post #12 of 17
I completely agree! Mentos was like a son to me. To be completely truthful, when I was told that my friend spent a few thousand dollars to help his pet that eventually died, I thought it was a complete waste of money.

I easily spent 3k on Mentos in a span of 3 months, and I don't regret spending a single penny. I even canceled a trip to Vegas to be with him with a $500 penalty.

Some friends say I'm crazy..... but that extra week I got to spend with Mentos instead of in Vegas was worth the $500 and more!!!
post #13 of 17
My cat Tiger passed away a little over two years ago. It took me about 4 months to feel okay in normal situations. However, I still sometimes cry about him at night time.
post #14 of 17
oh god, yes, it can last a lifetime. I've heard of human parents who tell people they never get over the loss of a child, and that's how I feel about Freddie (Nov 9) and my beloved best friend SiSi (May 18) - not a day goes by when I don't think about them. I still keep photos of SiSi and Freddie at work; I cry all the time for Freddie, because he was the gift after SiSi went so suddenly w/o warning. I still smell Freddie's scent lingering on blankets, towels, and the little place he'd lay during his last days. It feels like it's strangling me at times. The are nights I long to dream of them, and hope I do, just so I can be with them again and when it does happen, it feels so real the nightmare is waking up. I do not know how to get over it, but people are right: one day at a time is all you can do. You be good to yourself Rang.
post #15 of 17
that's why you take lots and lots and lots of pictures of your cat

When I knew Mentos was sick, I even got a camcorder. He's still a riot on film.... what a cat.
post #16 of 17
March 10, 1999: Gryphon punched his time-card and headed for the Rainbow Bridge. He was 13.

August 8, 1999: Shasta snoozed on my tummy and breathed her last. She was 21.

July 20, 2000: Samantha went out and never came back. She was 11 months.

July 27, 2001: Nibs told us he'd had enough and we sent him gently to join the others. He was 15.

I don't have to think about those dates. They're engraved on my heart. I miss them all, and get teary over them all, at different times, with different provocations. But mostly, now, I remember the happy times, the love, the silliness.

It's just like losing a human loved one, except that not all humans understand that. It will get easier, with time, and when you need to unload, this is the place to come.

Hang in there. Be gentle with yourself. It takes as long as it takes.
post #17 of 17
When I was in college we had to put down our Shih Tzu that we had for about 12 years. Its been nearly 6 years but when my mom and I look at old pictures or she comes up in conversation we still get choked up.

You never forget a pet. They love you unconditionally and you love them the same way.

Its good to hear you are moving on. You'll always have Smokey in your heart.

Good luck. (((HUGS)))
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