Need more advice on Cupcake

Last November I talked about my feral (not) cat Cupcake that I am taking care of. She has progressed very well (out of the room, eating with the other cats, letting me pet her on limited basis) until a friend came to visit in February through March. She decided to take CC out of the bedroom whenever she went in there, which was fine but then my 2 youngest cats started charging her (I think they want to play). After my friend left, it because worse.

CC never comes out to eat anymore (friend had taught her to eat alone in the living room) and the younger guys now charge her whenever they see her.

Well, long story short, she has regressed…is back in the bedroom, comes to me when I feed her but then runs under bed, will not let me pet her. My friend says, force her to come out of the room but I think that is cruel

Any advice on getting her back on track.

Pattie

Sad to say, I think you have to go right back to the beginning with Cupcake. Whenever I've had setbacks with animals that's what it has taken. The good news is that, as you managed to gain a degree of trust before, the process should (hopefully) be a little quicker this time. Feliway diffusers are worth trying (if you haven't already). Other than that, give her time. Make sure reintroductions between the cats happen in a slow, controlled fashion when you get back to that point. The little ones need to learn to back off a little. The only way for Cupcake to feel safe is for you to go at her pace.

So should I put her back into the bathroom so she has little room to roam? She has never been that contained but if it will help with the process, I am willing to do it.

Pattie

Whichever room Cupcake was comfortable living in before is the room to have her in for now. The important thing is to rebuild trust between the two of you.

You are correct to follow your instincts here - your friend is incorrect.  "Forcing" a cat to do anything is self-defeating.

I agree with Columbine - her original room has already been a place of comfort.  Let her stay there for as long as is needed.  ShadowsRescue had a neat trick - she puts a screen door in the room door, using tension curtain rods to keep it in place.  It allows the cats to interact without giving them access to each other.

I think you are right about the younger ones' intentions.  Our cat Josephine wants desperately to play with one of our other cats Gracie, who was a bottle baby and never learned how to properly speak "cat."   Poor Gracie thinks Josie is attacking her.  She runs and hides, jumps on laps, anything to avoid this crazy cat!  Poor Josie can't figure out why she won't play.  I play with them together, which has helped.  Perhaps you can do that when the time comes to reintegrate CupCake into the house.

Ok, I am going to keep her in her room. I do have a screen door that is attached by 3M picture tape (much like Velcro). She will come and eat next to me but every time I move, sneeze or whatever she runs under the bed. Does not take too long for her to come out again. I am back to giving treat when I enter and when I leave room. I just feel bad since I had been doing so well with her. I know that I need to be patient but I want her to "turn the corner" and because a nice cat for someone.

Pattie

She may be the kind of cat, through personality or experience, who is simply afraid,  She may never be completely comfortable, but starting again will help her at least learn she won't be hurt.

We have one of those.  He's eight years old and has never completely trusted us.  He'll allow a head scritch once in awhile but I think he'd faint if one of us ever tried to pick him up.  Yet, when he comes to one of us for a pet, our hearts just soar to know he loves us.

Need to say I am feeling sorry for myself and dear cupcake. I could shoot my friend for what she did to this sweet cast. CC, as I call her, has been crying at the screen, so I have put the youngsters in the porch and let her out. Hopefull that will be ok. Sorry but I had to vent...damn friend!

Pattie

Cupcake will get over it in time. Cats are very forgiving creatures...all you have is a temporary setback. Site swapping is fine if Cupcake is indicating that's what she wants. The trust will come back, I promise. You might find that flower essences such as Bach's Rescue Remedy or the Jackson Galaxy Spirit Essences range will help Cupcake relax and trust quicker.

I really feel for you. Setbacks with animals - particularly those that, with hindsight, were preventable - always feel like the end of the world at the time. In reality they're a blip, nothing more. Things will come right. Stay in the moment, and enjoy every little triumph along the way. It's a marathon, not a sprint. You'll get there

What do u do with the rescue remedy? Put in food, water? Certainly can't rub on her since she is not letting me too near her.

Pattie

Food or water is fine. I prefer food as you know they get it all that way.

Will it say on bottle how much to give. Hope it's ok to give up dates on her here and get your advice. She let me touch her for 2 sec this morn so progress and
She wants to stay I. Living room. I am not letting the youngsters near her yet. Not sure when safe to let. Them together. Thank you for all your help

Pattie

Dosage for animals is the same as for people - 5 drops a day. I'm more than happy to help...it can feel so lonely when you're trying to work with a semi feral. Great news that she let you touch her today Celebrate every victory, however small.