**I apologize for the length but please read all the way through
I adopted my cat Cora at about 8 months old almost 4 months ago. She was everything that I had hoped for and spent so much time looking for. Her foster mom assured me that her personality was in keeping with what I knew would work for my lifestyle (Yes i know it's impossible to know for certain especially given her young age but it made me feel better knowing that this woman agreed that it was a good match). Cora had been born into the foster system and had essentially been with her foster mom and her numerous cats since birth.
First few days of her adoption were fine and normal. She wasn't as scared as I anticipated and took to me quickly. My roommate has an older cat so we knew to do the introductions as slowly as necessary. So over the course of probably 4 or 5 weeks we introduced them. I wouldn't say they are friends but they tolerate each other. They still ( almost 4 months later) swat at each other and there is some growling but I've been told that sometimes it really takes several months for them to really adjust. So that is less of a concern.
The real issue is that she's developed a habit of meowing incessantly and pacing. Usually this starts in the evening around meal time or when my roommate and I have settled in for the night and are just watching Tv and hanging out on the couch. She will literally pace the window sill and meow at us. I've tried playing with her in the evening to see if this helps and even got an automatic laser pointer toy for cats. She liked that thing but has now of course, has lost interest.
Then when its time for bedtime I'll get her food ready for the next day in her automatic food feeder and get ready for bed (around 10:30 or so) then she starts to get anxious. I'll see her start to pace again (after she's already been fed her dinner) by my bathroom door and start quietly meowing. I'll crawl into bed but will then hear her walking around and the meowing begins. At first its quiet but it'll get louder the longer I ignore it. I'll try putting her up on the bed with me but she'll jump right back off. Eventually she'll stop (like maybe an hour in). I sleep with earplugs at this point to help compromise on her habits and mine. However now (for the past few weeks) she'll start loudly meowing between 3:30 and 4:00 in the morning. At this point it almost sounds like she's in panic mode. I try to ignore it, honestly I do…I've read that eventually a cat will learn that meowing does not equal attention. However it's 4 in the morning and I live in an apartment with very thin walls and floors. So I don't want to be the jerk neighbor that is constantly disturbing their sleep. So I have resorted to putting her in my bathroom with her litter box, food bowls, a couple of toys and her cat bed. I have to turn on the fan and shove a blanket at the bottom of the door to muffle her enough for it to be bearable to sleep through. Of course she hates this and it causes her to meow even louder and for longer. So it'll still keep me up…even with earplugs. But I feel like at least my neighbors and roommate are spared. It'll go on for another hour or so and she will eventually stop. But she'll start up again in another hour or two with the same loud meowing. Sometimes I'll give up and let her out thinking…maybe she just wants to be with me. But she'll hop onto my bed for two seconds and as soon as I try and pet her she's jumped off again and is meowing and pacing again.
So for the past 2-3 months I haven't slept more than 4-5 solid hours without being woken up by her meowing. I'm exhausted. I've taken her to the vet to ensure there isn't something medically wrong with her. (And they assure me there isn't…and we did do blood work) They suggested Feliaway which I tried to no avail, I've tried anti-anxiety collars, again to no avail…I feed her expensive high quality wet food twice a day (she refuses dry food of any kind), I work from home so I'm literally with her all day…. I have bought her numerous toys. The vet is now at a loss as to what to do. They know i'm going crazy so they have suggested kitty xanax to help relax her at night. i gave her a quarter of the prescribed dosages first because I wanted to observe her to make sure she wouldn't react poorly to it. It worked alright at first. She actually relaxed enough to lay on my bed with me and sleep for a few hours but again at about 3 or 4 she was up again and meowing. So the next night I gave her half the amount with dinner and put the other half in her morning food to make it last longer. She passed out while we were watching TV but I think the full amount made her freak out more. She was pacing even more loudly in my bedroom than without the xanax as I was getting ready for bed. I can't leave in her in the living room because she will wake up my roommate and that isn't fair to her. I can't keep my bedroom open so she can free roam in the apartment because roommate's cat will be in my room and as I said they still kind of fight. The only way she stops meowing is if I'm physically up. If i move myself into the living room and lay on the couch. Then she chills out and lays with me.
I'm so at a loss as to what to do here. Overall Cora is a great cat, with such a sweet temperament and wouldn't hurt a fly. She's so cuddly and the thought of taking her back sincerely breaks my heart. I don't want to…really I don't…but I'm just exhausted and at a loss of what to do. During the day she is totally fine. She'll just hang out with me or case highlighters or hair ties across the floor. Someone help me please….I already put in a message with her former shelter asking what the steps were for relinquishing her back….and I feel nauseous about actually going through with it. When I made this commitment I truly intended this to be a life long thing which is why I took so long to find the right cat. But if she's as miserable as I am, maybe i'm not the best fit for her either….
I adopted my cat Cora at about 8 months old almost 4 months ago. She was everything that I had hoped for and spent so much time looking for. Her foster mom assured me that her personality was in keeping with what I knew would work for my lifestyle (Yes i know it's impossible to know for certain especially given her young age but it made me feel better knowing that this woman agreed that it was a good match). Cora had been born into the foster system and had essentially been with her foster mom and her numerous cats since birth.
First few days of her adoption were fine and normal. She wasn't as scared as I anticipated and took to me quickly. My roommate has an older cat so we knew to do the introductions as slowly as necessary. So over the course of probably 4 or 5 weeks we introduced them. I wouldn't say they are friends but they tolerate each other. They still ( almost 4 months later) swat at each other and there is some growling but I've been told that sometimes it really takes several months for them to really adjust. So that is less of a concern.
The real issue is that she's developed a habit of meowing incessantly and pacing. Usually this starts in the evening around meal time or when my roommate and I have settled in for the night and are just watching Tv and hanging out on the couch. She will literally pace the window sill and meow at us. I've tried playing with her in the evening to see if this helps and even got an automatic laser pointer toy for cats. She liked that thing but has now of course, has lost interest.
Then when its time for bedtime I'll get her food ready for the next day in her automatic food feeder and get ready for bed (around 10:30 or so) then she starts to get anxious. I'll see her start to pace again (after she's already been fed her dinner) by my bathroom door and start quietly meowing. I'll crawl into bed but will then hear her walking around and the meowing begins. At first its quiet but it'll get louder the longer I ignore it. I'll try putting her up on the bed with me but she'll jump right back off. Eventually she'll stop (like maybe an hour in). I sleep with earplugs at this point to help compromise on her habits and mine. However now (for the past few weeks) she'll start loudly meowing between 3:30 and 4:00 in the morning. At this point it almost sounds like she's in panic mode. I try to ignore it, honestly I do…I've read that eventually a cat will learn that meowing does not equal attention. However it's 4 in the morning and I live in an apartment with very thin walls and floors. So I don't want to be the jerk neighbor that is constantly disturbing their sleep. So I have resorted to putting her in my bathroom with her litter box, food bowls, a couple of toys and her cat bed. I have to turn on the fan and shove a blanket at the bottom of the door to muffle her enough for it to be bearable to sleep through. Of course she hates this and it causes her to meow even louder and for longer. So it'll still keep me up…even with earplugs. But I feel like at least my neighbors and roommate are spared. It'll go on for another hour or so and she will eventually stop. But she'll start up again in another hour or two with the same loud meowing. Sometimes I'll give up and let her out thinking…maybe she just wants to be with me. But she'll hop onto my bed for two seconds and as soon as I try and pet her she's jumped off again and is meowing and pacing again.
So for the past 2-3 months I haven't slept more than 4-5 solid hours without being woken up by her meowing. I'm exhausted. I've taken her to the vet to ensure there isn't something medically wrong with her. (And they assure me there isn't…and we did do blood work) They suggested Feliaway which I tried to no avail, I've tried anti-anxiety collars, again to no avail…I feed her expensive high quality wet food twice a day (she refuses dry food of any kind), I work from home so I'm literally with her all day…. I have bought her numerous toys. The vet is now at a loss as to what to do. They know i'm going crazy so they have suggested kitty xanax to help relax her at night. i gave her a quarter of the prescribed dosages first because I wanted to observe her to make sure she wouldn't react poorly to it. It worked alright at first. She actually relaxed enough to lay on my bed with me and sleep for a few hours but again at about 3 or 4 she was up again and meowing. So the next night I gave her half the amount with dinner and put the other half in her morning food to make it last longer. She passed out while we were watching TV but I think the full amount made her freak out more. She was pacing even more loudly in my bedroom than without the xanax as I was getting ready for bed. I can't leave in her in the living room because she will wake up my roommate and that isn't fair to her. I can't keep my bedroom open so she can free roam in the apartment because roommate's cat will be in my room and as I said they still kind of fight. The only way she stops meowing is if I'm physically up. If i move myself into the living room and lay on the couch. Then she chills out and lays with me.
I'm so at a loss as to what to do here. Overall Cora is a great cat, with such a sweet temperament and wouldn't hurt a fly. She's so cuddly and the thought of taking her back sincerely breaks my heart. I don't want to…really I don't…but I'm just exhausted and at a loss of what to do. During the day she is totally fine. She'll just hang out with me or case highlighters or hair ties across the floor. Someone help me please….I already put in a message with her former shelter asking what the steps were for relinquishing her back….and I feel nauseous about actually going through with it. When I made this commitment I truly intended this to be a life long thing which is why I took so long to find the right cat. But if she's as miserable as I am, maybe i'm not the best fit for her either….
