Bonded pair

Bandit had a heart attack on Tuesday. Smokey his bonded mate is depressed. I'm trying to spend as much time as possible w her, but she gets up at 4:30 crying for Bandit. Besides my missing Bandit beyond words, I don't know what else to do w Smokey. She is 11 yo, we adopted them 9 yrs ago and they've never been apart. So miss their grooming and snuggling together. Ideas

Cats mourn too, and if she never got to see his body and say goodbye (yes they DO that!) it may be harder for her.  I think talking to her at 4:30 in the morning when she starts calling for him will help.  Some folks will think it's a crazy idea but , telling her the Rainbow Bridge story, and that he is watching over her and waiting for her will help.  Cats don't need words, they read our minds, but we need words to direct our minds so it will help to speak it.  You are both in mourning and you can comfort each other, but you both have an aching Bandit-sized hoe in your hearts and you just have to go through the pain and eventually you will both come out the other side.

aww that breaks my heart because it happened to us as well. Minnie passed last September and Mikki and her were littermate sisters for 10 years. Mikki did get to see Min after she passed as we did it at home and she walked up to her and gave her a lick on the forehead (sniff). I don't know if it helped her process what happened or not. She howled in the night for several months... still does...but now I believe it's partly a habit...plus the fact she was always strictly a "daddy's" girl since Minnie was a mommy's girl....and Mikki has had to go through a lot of change... she now cuddles with me and sleeps with me ...she never even sat on my lap when Minnie was alive.... hubby sleeps upstairs due to a special mattress and I sleep downstairs.. Mikki travels between sleeping with him and me during the night...

Did you think about getting another cat? We are thinking. Most certainly not as a replacement for Bandit, but so Smokey would have a cuddle mate and maybe more active than she is.

If you get another cat, you should be very careful to try to match the personalities.  Since she is female, you should definitely try a male cat, preferably one about the same age, or at least mature, no younger than 4 or 5, and adopt from a rescue group or private person that will let you return him if it doesn't work out.  Hopefully you can find one who is used to other cats, friendly with females (a male who had breeding experience an was neutered later in life is usually good at courting and getting along with females).  Breeders sometimes have males that were former studs but are now neutered an looking for a forever home.  Most no-kill rescues also will have some who have lost their older owners to disease and nursing homes and are hard to adopt because they are 8-10 years old, so you will be a blessing if you can find one that fits your household  I would not expect her to like a new cat immediately, but if he's mellow and she is not aggressive, it should work out.  Just take your time, look around, and choose carefully.  The Cat Goddess will probably help you find just the right one if you just ask her guidance.  Let us know.

Thanks, we are looking at a male from a rescue group that gets along w other cats and is 6 yo. Smokey is very mellow, 11yo and very inactive due to arthritis. We're going to do the separation thing until they're used to each other. I know cats sleep a lot, but I just got her up to groom her...been in the same spot for 6 hours. I have seriously thought of taking her into the facility where Dad is to be a therapy cat. She had a small skin growth removed from her side a few months ago and just laid there for it. Mellow...

Are you giving her glucosamine for the arthritis? It helps a LOT!  Works on dogs and horses and people also.  You can usually feel results within 2 weeks, and personally I am forgetful and if I forget it for a week or so, I feel NEGATIVE results.  It takes the burning out of the old joints.

The male you are looking at sounds perfect.  Let us know how that goes. 

Actually, she's on Cosequin and Adequan injections. Poor little girl. Thanks for all the input.

I did go visit one lil kitty...but it was all about me, lol. Her name was Minnie and she looked almost like my Minnie that passed..but was a lil kitten and when I held her... it didn't feel right and I realized I wanted her to act and feel like my Minnie. We also didn't want to upset Mikki any further.. as holidays were coming up and family would be here..not a time to introduce a new kitty...then we found Mikki's lump (sarcoma on her leg) so we're dealing with that now... so not ready to kitty shop.

Sorry to hear about Mikkis lump. From a shot?

Not thinking so.... since it is down by her so called "knee cap". We had an amazing surgeon who thought he was taking a biopsy but ended up being able to remove the tumor...unfortunatled due to the location enough margin wasn't able to be taken around the tumor, thus we are on watch and wait mode to see if it grows back in a few months. If so..we will most likely amputate if that will cure her completely of the cancer. Most likely it will as fortunately the kind of sarcoma is localized and non invasive.

MnM said:

Not thinking so.... since it is down by her so called "knee cap". We had an amazing surgeon who thought he was taking a biopsy but ended up being able to remove the tumor...unfortunatled due to the location enough margin wasn't able to be taken around the tumor, thus we are on watch and wait mode to see if it grows back in a few months. If so..we will most likely amputate if that will cure her completely of the cancer. Most likely it will as fortunately the kind of sarcoma is localized and non invasive.

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Poor Mikki. She's been through so much. Many hugs and vibes for a quick and full recovery to her from Lilith, Sophie, Henry, Bailey and me. Minnie is watching over her with lots of love, too.   

My FIL had (has) brother and sister toy poodles named Mickey and Minnie. Mickey is turning 14 in July. Minnie crossed the bridge about 2 years ago. Mickey was able to say goodbye to his sister also by giving her one last kiss on the head.    

Good to hear. Hope they got it and no further surgery.