Bentley's fear and terror

It sounds great that he will sleep near your leg, that definetly means he likes you and will trust you alot more as time goes on, if you keep doing the awesome job you have so far! Him answering your calls is also a very good sign, piper will do this too, and I can look in her eyes from far away, but never when she is close and I am petting her... try to keep the pets light and soft the way he likes it, and stop that too before he gets too excited...

Have you every tried playing with a straw with you kitty? I play the under covers game with a straw in my hand, and they go nuts, and my hands don't get sratched this way...

keep it up and you will see the more time goes by the more attention and affection he will want! and ofcoaurse don't hesitate to post any concerns or questions you may have!

seeing how happy and relaxed Piper has become is so rewarding, the first few months we had her, her tail wagged when ever she was awake, and she hissed and growled if you approached her, just walking by her she would crouch into this scared don't hurt me position. we don't see any of this anymore and it is such a relief!

thank you for caring enough to help this kitty open his heart to yours!

Thank you Coco and Cookie. I don't think I described what Bentley is doing now correctly. He's laying right up against my legs when they are under the covers and he is on top of the covers. Bent pushes against my legs like he wants to be as close as possible and just rests his weight on me. He's then able to sleep more peaceful than at any other time. I think he understands I hurt and is trying to comfort me. I think I'm blessed to have such a wonderful creature, even when he wasn't wanting any attention from me. He has such grace when he wants and then can be such a goof at times... I can't help but smile every time I think of Bentley. He's my affair

Coco;

Bentley has finally found a forever, loving home where he can relax and play and be a kitten again.

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That is a very apt definition of our lives. I just can't imagine life without.

Cookie, hello

I'll have to try the straw under the covers. I may be too aggresive for Bent with my fingers so using something like straw may help. He'll hear the crinkle without all the huge finger movements. Good idea! Thanks for the suggestion.

Wow! I've just read the thread. It sounds like Bentley has started to relax around you.

It's best to use an object if the play is encouraging Bentley to pounce. That way he doesn't learn to see your hands as play toys.

Yea, Gem, he seems to be coming around. With just a little ignoring him he's really changing. He still has his moments and probably always will... being a cat.

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll give it a try.

It sounds as if Bentley is making progress fast. Our last cat was a feral for about 8 years, and it took over a year for him to accept my petting his head (only). He never let my husband pet him, but as time went by (we had him for 6 years), he would rub himself against our legs, and followed my husband all around the yard when he was gardening. He also brought us presents (food stolen from the local supermarket's parking lot). We basically never made eye contact with him, talked very softly in his presence, and if we accidentally looked him in the eyes, we blinked very slowly to signal that we meant him no harm. Jamie, our present baby, was born to an abandoned cat trapped at a feeding site when she was heavily pregnant. He was born in a foster home, and had no contact with men until I brought him home when he was 10 weeks old. He was familiar with me from my visits to the foster home (I'd promised to take one or two kittens when they were born), but was absolutely terrified of my husband. We tried the same tactics. My husband pretended the cat didn't exist, but "accidentally" dropped a few tidbits (meat or cheese) whenever Jamie Cat entered the kitchen during meals. Within a few weeks, JC was demanding attention from my husband, asking to play or be petted, and lying on his chest or sitting on his shoulders. Oddly enough, this loving relationship only exists indoors. JC is trained to a leash, and will not allow any human other than me near him when he is outdoors - he panics otherwise. The only men he doesn't run away from when he's indoors, other than my husband, are my 16-year-old nephew and my father-in-law. He attacked our nephew (literally - bit, scratched and whacked him without provocation) until the latter's voice broke (JC considers kids aliens), but now comes up to him and wants to be petted and played with. My father-in-law has a real phobia about cats and dogs, so JC won't leave him alone - unties his shoelaces, knocks his hat off, sits on his head, etc.. Please be as patient as possible - allow Bentley to define your relationship at his own pace (which you seem to be doing - good job!), and remember that a lot of cats simply aren't, and perhaps never will be, "lap cats".

Thanks, Jcat! All of the great feedback here has helped immensely. Bentley was so sweet the other night, he came up to me as I was sitting up in my new bed and licked my hand. He must have known I was in pain and was trying to comfort me. Then he went by my knees and curled up against them keeping me warm. He just melts my heart.

Things are going pretty well now. Bentley will get on my keyboard drawer and head butt me then he allows a few pets and then he's off because he's late for a very important date, I assume. He doesn't run away just trots off looking like he did his good deed for the day. He has also been sleeping between my legs on his side all curled up and does that upside down head thing. He's just so cute. I haven't seen him get really scared at nothing in some time. He'll often jerk awake and look around though. I just tell him, in a very soft voice, that it's ok and he'll look me in the eyes(as if to ask, "Is it really?") then he'll slowly close his eyes and lay his head back down.
Whenever he looks me in the eyes I slowly close mine and this seems to calm him too. I'm just so glad he knows I mean him no harm and would protect him with my life.

I am so excited to hear how well Bently is doing. What a brave boy he has become. Congratulations on your success with this sweet boy!

Thank you, Lots

He's still a bit skittish but not nearly as bad as he was. When do cats become adults anyway? Bentley is 3 years old now and I was wondering if that means he's out of the kitten stages.

It varies from cat to cat, but by age three most of mine had mellowed considerably. So, I would probably consider him a young adult.

You did really well at melting this cat's reserve with you. I know how hard it is to ignore such lovely creatures, but it is the best way for them to relax around you and understand that they can trust you because you don't *want* anything from them. Avoiding looking in their eyes when they consider you a bit of a threat will further relax them, and it sounds like you and Bentley have traveled a great distance in record time.

I would encourage you if you do play with him with toys, make sure the toys are visible, not under blankets being held by you, or Bent will begin to feel like fingers and toes are interactive play toys and start to bite them whenever they are displayed.

You did a great job! Keep it up-

Thank you, Hissy

Bentley and I still have our moments but we seem to have found some balance. I really believe, after listening to the many queries and answers here, that I wasn't knowledgable enough for Bentley. It has been so nice finding a place that truly cares about and has the experience with felines to offer solid advice. I am forever in debt to The CatSite. Since I've come here and asked the questions I have things have been completely different with Bentley and I owe all of you a great debt.

I just thought of a 'game' we play with Jeeps that doesn't involve a lot of contact if you feel like trying it with Bentley.

We call it 'fetch the bug' She has a small green fluffy ball that we all call 'bug' and when we throw it for her she runs after it, picks it up and brings it back. We throw it everytime she brings it back. If she gets fed up she'll leave it where it falls signifying playtime is over.

The good thing about this game is when Jeepers wants to play she'll go and get bug and bring it to us. Drop it by the side of whoever she wants to throw it and stare at them until they oblige! Jeepers tells me when she wants to play, either by bringing me bug or refusing to fetch it.

Your Jeepers is a doll. Jeepers looks like my Penny!!

Aww..it brings a warm fuzzy feeling to my heart reading how Bent has progressed.

As for cats growing up? I honestly don't know. Russell is nearly two years and I can't say that he's mellowed out. he still goes nuts at the sight of a rattly mouse and invariably loses it under a piece of furniture. Esper will be one year of age in September and she's still acting like a 12 week old kitten. And she's kitten sized too.

Bentley was so sweet the other night, he came up to me as I was sitting up in my new bed and licked my hand. He must have known I was in pain and was trying to comfort me.

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Many cats do have this kind of link with their owners. I can still remember my first asthma attack in my new house. I was all alone, I didn't have my neighbors to come help anymore. My cat jumped up in my lap, put her paws on my chest, started licking my nose and stared into my eyes. Extremely weird for a cat to do. Staring into her eyes helped me gain control of my panic, which helped the inhaler to work.

Sandy