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My grandma is leaving this world tonight

post #1 of 60
Thread Starter 
My grandmother is dying she's been in the hospital for about a week now, getting weaker. They didn't know what she had, except that her bowels weren't functioning properly. She is 90 years old. Today they decided to perform exploratory surgery and they found out that her bowels are pretty much dead tissue - all gangrene (sp?). She never came out of the anasthesia, they simply gave her more morphine to prevent more pain. The doctors say she probably won't make it though tonight

I feel so sad. We had planned to go and visit her this week so that she would see little Dan (her grand-grandson) for the first time. Looks like we're too late and she'll never get to see him. I feel so guilty for not having visited her lately. I never had a chance to say a proper goodbye. I gave birth 4 weeks ago and she got sick at about the same time - I only left the house for the first time today (and I'm in great pain right now because of that - the scar from the c-section hurts so bad). I just miss her so much already and I so wish I would have had a chance to say goodbye and see her one last time and show my my sons to her. She was overjoyed with Ron, played with him and used to sing him lullabies in Polish when we visited.

I feel so sorry for my grandpa too. He's 93 and I don't know how he's going to cope without her. I feel so strange tonight. She isn't dead yet - but we're already in mourning

Please say a prayer for her so she can leave this world in peace and free of pain.

Thank you.
post #2 of 60
I am sorry to hear that but you should be thankful she is feeling no pain and has lived a very long life, longer than most of us will experience (me for sure)

I say congratulations to her for making it so long in this crazy world, no more worries for her.
post #3 of 60
Anne my friend, I am sorry for your pain. Please don't let guilt weigh you down- life has a way of throwing curve balls every now and again. I am sure your grandmother would have understood-
post #4 of 60
Anne, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. My heart goes out to you and your family. Mary Anne is right - please don't feel guilty with the "should have" and "could have" thoughts that are plagueing you right now.
post #5 of 60
Oh, Anne, I know there's nothing I can say that will make you feel better, just please don't go on kicking yourself for not getting out to see her sooner. She knew what you were going through, its not like you were well and able and drove by her house every day and didn't stop to see her! Take heart in the fact that she will have a peaceful passing, thats more than most of us can hope for. Take care of yourself (that incision hurts like he**,I know that for a fact)and your babies, I'll be praying for you, your grandad and the rest of your family. {{HUGS}}
post #6 of 60
I am so sorry Anne. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
post #7 of 60
90 is a remarkable age. . . . and it sounds like your grandmother is being kept comfortable. My heart goes out to your grandfather. He will be lost without her, no doubt.

Your grandmother will get to meet your new son. . . . she'll see him from the other side.

I have found over the years that when a new child comes along, someone leaves.

Cherish the good times and focus your energy on your grandfather. He will need you.
post #8 of 60
I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your family.
post #9 of 60
Oh Anne, I am so sorry. I hope that she finds peace and that you do as well. When my gran died, I felt so bad and guilty about everything - I was in therapy for a while - and the thing that my therapist told me was "What would she say to you if she was with you right now?" I am sure that it wouldn't be reproaches.

I am thinking of you and your family.

post #10 of 60
Anne- I'm deeply sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts
post #11 of 60
Anne, your grandmother knows how you feel about her, so don't torture yourself because you weren't able to visit her recently, and didn't get a chance to say goodbye. You had good reasons, and I'm sure she understood. Be thankful the doctors are able to keep her from feeling any more pain...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
post #12 of 60
Anne, I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I know exactly how you feel. I loved my grandpa dearly and never got to say goodbye to him before he passed.

I was able to say goodbye to some, but not other dear people, but whether we get the chance to say goodbye or not, it's still the same extreme loss. At least she got to see and play with Ron, if not Dan, and that is tremendous.

*Hugs* and my thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Speedy thoughts for your grandma to be free from pain and suffering.
post #13 of 60
I am so sorry, Anne.
post #14 of 60
Im so sorry Anne.my thoughts and prayers are with you and
your family
post #15 of 60
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much everyone!

I just talked to my dad on the phone. My grandma is one strong woman! Against all the odds she regained consciousness. She can't talk becuase of all the tubes but my aunt is with her and she recognizes her and is holding her hand. They let her talk with my grandad on the phone (or rather listen to him) and all the machines she's attached to went mad as she got very excited. I was on the phone with dad when his mobile rang and it was my aunt and she asked him to talk to grandma as well. It was very emotional - he told grandma how much we all love her.

The doctors are amazed that she's still alive and that she's awake. They didn't think she would live for more than a few hours after the surgery. It's a matter of hours now. If she makes it till the morning, I think I won't be able to stay at home and I will go to the hospital to say goodbye. Won't be easy as we can't take Dan or Ron (don't want them to catch anything at the hospital), but I so want to see my grandma one last time...

Thank you all again.
post #16 of 60
I don't know what to say Anne - sorry just doesn't seem to be enough. If you can get to see her this evening, go and tell her you love her. My dad in his coma couldn't let go until the last of his children said goodbye. She will know that you are there with her even if she can't respond back to you.

post #17 of 60
Anne, I sat down after I posted to you awhile ago, and I prayed for a way for you to have some peace about your grandmothers passing, am thankful that you may now have your chance to say goodbye to her. Will keep praying for all of you !
post #18 of 60
Oh Ann - I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this. [[[[[hugs]]]]]
post #19 of 60
I'm so sorry - sending prayers to help you and your family in this difficult time.

post #20 of 60
At some point, life ends. Don't feel guilty about not being able to visit your grandmother now - she has really reached a "ripe old age", and is probably very happy that she could enjoy being a great-grandmother. My husband's grandfather died at age 87, one month after his first great-grandchild was born. I was really impressed when he told me it was "time to go", "time to make room for coming generations".
post #21 of 60
Anne I am so sorry to hear about your Grandmother I will keep her, you and your family in my prayers. Don't feel quilty about not getting out before now. You have been through a lot. My suggestion would be for you to go ahead and go to see her and tell her how much you love her just one more time. That way you can have peace of mind after she passes. It will be very hard to do Take care.
post #22 of 60
I'm very sorry. I will say a prayer for her.
post #23 of 60
Love, strength and hugs to you and your family.
post #24 of 60

I'm so sorry. I read this late, so am sure you've been to the hospital to see your grandmother, I wish her peace and that she be surrounded by those she loves when she passes, and send prayers for support to your Grandfather and all your family,
post #25 of 60
Dear Ann

I am very sorry about your Grandmother

post #26 of 60
I'm so very sorry to hear this news! Please know that your Grandmother, your family & yourself are all in my prayers! I do hope that you get that chance to say goodbye. I hear it in your post how hard this is for you & pray that it's a smooth as it possibly can be.

Many hugs to you my friend!
post #27 of 60
I'm so sorry My father has Cancer and its a very scary thought of him not being around I will keep your family in my thoughts.
post #28 of 60
Anne, I am very sorry to hear of this tonight. My prayers are with you and your family. Things always get better within time. I know exactly what you are going through sweetie. Many hugs!
post #29 of 60
Oh Anne , my heart is going out to you ((((((HUGS)))))) . I sure will pray for your grandma , you and the rest of the family
post #30 of 60
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother Anne! Now with your update, maybe you will be able to see her.

Many thoughts going out to you & your family!

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