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Monday, April 13, 2015 will remain as the worst day in my life. It’s about Jethro’s final journey.
I spread a thin transparent plastic sheet on my keyboard and tying this letter. I’m crying and my unstoppable tears are rolling down on my cheeks and falling on the keyboard. I’m switching from writing this narrative and viewing my beloved Jethro’s photographs on the screen. This email is coming from Norway.
I got up at 05:30 and made myself a cup of coffee. Jethro was sleeping on the bed next to me. I went out of the bedroom and opened the front door and saw the small, two or three year old black cat with white beard sitting on the doormat. He belongs to a neighbour. He comes twice a day and I feed him. He seldom mews and communicates with his eyes. I was very much surprised to see him so early in the morning. He never comes in the morning hours. He comes in the evening or late in the night. Did he come to say goodbye to Jethro? I served a pouch of senior consult stage 2 (the sauce is removed but still there is much in those small pieces) in the small corridor and ate silently. After eating he leaves at once but on yesterday morning he did not leave. He sat on the doormat. I shut the door wondering at his unusual behaviour.
I closed the door, went back into the bedroom, woke Jethro up and took him into the study room where he has six beds (in addition to three beds in the bedroom). Every bed is of eiderdown bed. Also he has his own two sofas. His breathing was slightly heavy. This he has been experiencing for about two weeks. Before we went to bed on Sunday night I gave him fortekor (5 mg) and after slight hesitation he ate it. Then he ate his sauce of senior consult stage 2 (two pouches).
Normally I do not drink even coffee before Jethro eats. I made it a point to eat after he eats. He ate very little of the sauce when I gave him. A minute later he was asleep again. Then I saw Miss (another black cat, female with white beard) waiting outside. She too comes in the evening or in the night. (She comes even when the mercury drops down to -22!) Another neighbouring couple own her. She has been visiting me since last June and his owners did not like her paying a visit to me. They asked me not to give food but I could not. I tried many times but she refused to go back to her home. Once she took her place under the tree and stayed the entire day. Then I understood why she comes to me. (I’ll come back later with an explanation.) Every time when Miss comes she wants to come inside. I did not encourage her because Jethro will suspect that I transferred my affection to her.
Very seldom she comes in the morning. I was disturbed. Why this morning? The male black cat too came early in the morning. When I opened the door she jumped in and mewed. She’s very affectionate like Jethro friendly. I noticed the male cat has left. I served her portion. She ate about a pouch and half. After eating she goes out. But for the three weeks she started was giving performance. She lied flat on the floor and rolls down, spreading her paws and hind legs. This is a sign of trust, love and trust. She has been showing her stomach for nearly six months. It means, ‘I trust you.’ I caressed her coat when she turned to her side. The she got up and took her seat on the doormat.
The sun came up and the weather was good. I prepared a cup of coffee and drank while I shaved. All the time I was worried. It’s about his urination. What if he urinated in on the mattress in the train? What if he wants to go to the lavatory? These questions bother me whenever I take him by the train. But Jethro is good. He knows he’s on the move and controls himself. I was also keeping an eye on Jethro who was sleeping on the bed that was on the floor. There are two (oil burning) portable radiators on each side of the bed. Again these were for Jethro. When I was in Halden I bought them for him and placed on either side of his bed. Still he was sleeping. I took a quick shower, dressed and took out his large cage and placed his mattress inside. Then I opened the front door to see Miss. She has left. When I came in, Jethro saw me lifting his head. I followed his direction. It means he wants to pee. I took him and held him on the litterbox. He peed and also ****. It was very little but put an end to my worries. He’ll not pass urine for the next three hours. (Six months ago I started cleaning his bottom, not because he’s unable to clean himself but preventing him from eating the sand and other foreign stuff. He’s already a CRF cat and I did not want him to be infected with more disease. In the beginning he hated being cleaned.)Then he turned his head in the direction of bathroom. I took him inside where a large bowlful of water was kept for him. I held him he drank making noise.
I brought him back and this time I placed him on the large window overlooking the garden. There are two trees and pigeons and sparrows come to feed. I also feed birds with birdseed and sunflower seeds. He was watching the birds.
At 08:30 my immediate new neighbour’s kitten came. Three months ago they moved into the adjacent house. She also loves the food. I served her food and she ate it. After finishing she refused to leave. She took her seat opposite the door. The dreadful thought reappeared in my mind. ‘Are these cats come to say goodbye to Jethro’ but I banished the thought. I was sure that after cleaning Jethro’s teeth I’ll bring him back. Also I wanted to ask him more about Noroclav and Prednisolon.
The kitten left the place reluctantly.
The time was fast approaching for the train. On Friday, April 10, I already ordered for the taxi.
In my small backpack, I put a blanket, three pouches of senior consult stage 2, his plate, spoon, integra in foil tray, a small bowl for water. The time was 09:30. At 09:40 the taxi will come. It’s less than five minute drive to the station. I wanted him to take him outside and place him on the grass in the sunshine. Then some strange thing happened. When I took him in my arms he turned his head left and right. I never saw that sort of look. It was very peculiar and I thought it was strange. Now as I type I understand. He knew that he’s not come back. It’s one way journey.
In the train I spread the blanket on the seat, placed Jethro (with the kind permission of the conductor) on it. About thirty minutes later Jethro was lifting his head. He wanted to see the passing scenery outside. When he was healthy and travelled with me, he always put his both paws on the window and watched the scenery. I held him for about five minutes. He enjoyed it. Little I knew at that time that he’ll not be returning home.
At the clinic I took out Jethro and placed him on his mattress. I requested Cecilia for a litterbox. She kindly provided me. I placed it in front of Jethro to see his reaction. If he wants to pass urine he gets up. He was not interested. The vet, Christopher Høstmælingen was ready by 11:30. I took inside. He examined him once again and wondered why he’s breathing so heavily. Christopher administered him a small amount of sedation. A minute later he asked me to take back and place him on the mattress. Once Jethro is under complete sedation he’ll start cleaning his teeth. I brought him back on a large, green absorbent sheet in case Jethro passes urine. Jethro’s eyes were shut and he began to purse his lips. It lasted about two minutes and the sedation began to take effect. At 12:10 I brought him back and once again Christopher checked his heart beat. He warned me before hand, the risks involved in treating the old cats. When he started cleaning Jethro reacted. Christopher was amazed at Jethro’s tenacity. Once again Christopher administered a little portion and listened to his heart beat. Cautiously he cleaned the teeth with electrical dental prophy. It’s painful to see Jethro’s reaction. He’s experiencing pain.
After finishing cleaning Jethro’s teeth Christopher wanted to test his blood. He shaved under his throat, and tried to find the vein. After probing and gentle massaging he found it. He applied local anaesthesia and injected the needle to extract the blood but nothing came in. Seeing my distress and he suggested that I should leave the room and leave Jethro in his hands. If I wanted to stay I was welcome to stay. I left him and took my seat in the hall. When I was out of the room he tried the same on the front leg. The same result. He came out and explained that Jethro has very low blood pressure. Nothing can be done and he could not carry out blood test. Then he wanted to x-ray his chest to see why he’s breathing hard. I agreed. Five minutes later he called me into the x-ray room. Jethro was on the table. He recovered from the sedation and trying to get up. Very bad news. Christopher could not see Jethro’s heart. More than eighty percent of his lungs were filled with fluid. Jethro was extraordinarily good in hiding his pain. Christopher explained at the most Jethro will live for about four weeks but he’ll lead a painful life.
‘Do you want to take him back home and allow him natural death or do you want put him to sleep?’
He’ll make arrangements for cremation and Jethro’s ashes will be given in a cremation urn. I turned around to see Jethro. Tears were welling up my eyes seeing his pitiable condition. He was acting as if he had seizure. I took him in my arms and he clinched to my polo-necked sweater. We went back into his dispensary and explained the procedure. It’ll be quick and painless. My Lord, I’m crying as I’m typing this. Please, take care of my darling Jethro. He’s gentlest cat.
I did not want to see Jethro suffering. He was still struggling in my arms. He threw his front legs wildly in a desperate attempt to free himself from some unknown pain. I hugged him and agreed for euthanasia. Christopher went back to medicine, filled the syringe with light orange fluid and injected the deadly dose in his weakening muscle in the leg. I held him tightly as I burst into tears. Half a minute later Christopher examined eyes and exclaimed. ‘He’s dead!’
Christopher led me into an adjacent room. He told me that I can stay with him until the closing hours of the clinic. Then he gentle shut the door behind him leaving me alone with my best friend, my affectionate, loving Jethro.
I’m heart broken. I do not know how I’m going to pull on without Jethro. My heart is filled with misery and sorrow. I’m crying my heart out. Jethro is resting on my shoulder as wrote my feelings and emotions in my telephone. As I held him on my left shoulder from 13:00 to 20:00 I felt he’s sleeping and not dead. There was an expression of tranquillity on his pretty face. ‘Jethro, please wake up, my darling wake up.’ How many times I looked at his handsome face? Has he really gone? How many times he slept in that fashion since 2005? Jethro loved sleeping in my lap while I relaxed with a book. ‘Jethro, I’m going home without,’ I said repeatedly with tears pouring out from my eyes.
A couple of hours later his tail thinned and gone limp. He could no wage his tail to communicate. His paws were wide opened. After the closing hours of the clinic I’ll see no more Jethro. I’ll never see him again. I hugged him more tightly. I cried and cried. I could not bear the separation.
Cecilia, his beautiful blonde young assistant, gave me coffee. Ragnhild, his vet assistant was very supportive and comforted me. Now and then Christopher dropped in to say few encouraging words and give comfort. I’ll very thankful to them.
At 20:20 the vet took away Jethro. He’ll rest in a deep freezer. Christopher told me that there are few more euthanized cats in it. In about a week he’ll be cremated.
I’m back home and opened the door. After changing my clothes I went around the two rooms. I called, ‘Jethro, Jethro’, repeatedly but there was no reply in the form of a low growl from him. I fell on the bed and burst into tears. His lifeless body on the table appeared in my mind. How I miss him! Christopher allowed me to hold him in my arms until the closing hours of the clinic. I held him in my arms for nearly seven hours.
As I’m typing tears are falling on the keyboard. My eyes are blinded. I feel terrible pain. No cat will replace Jethro. It was an extraordinarily special relationship. I wish I should have gone with him. We could have been together wherever we were destined to go. The house looks terrible. I left everything in the house as it is. His beds are empty. Before we left to Lillehammer he was lying down on the bed mounted on the extended windowsill, his front paws folded under his chest looking through the large window. I noticed how deep his body made impression on the bed. The same impression I noticed in litterbox.
I can write no more.
I spread a thin transparent plastic sheet on my keyboard and tying this letter. I’m crying and my unstoppable tears are rolling down on my cheeks and falling on the keyboard. I’m switching from writing this narrative and viewing my beloved Jethro’s photographs on the screen. This email is coming from Norway.
I got up at 05:30 and made myself a cup of coffee. Jethro was sleeping on the bed next to me. I went out of the bedroom and opened the front door and saw the small, two or three year old black cat with white beard sitting on the doormat. He belongs to a neighbour. He comes twice a day and I feed him. He seldom mews and communicates with his eyes. I was very much surprised to see him so early in the morning. He never comes in the morning hours. He comes in the evening or late in the night. Did he come to say goodbye to Jethro? I served a pouch of senior consult stage 2 (the sauce is removed but still there is much in those small pieces) in the small corridor and ate silently. After eating he leaves at once but on yesterday morning he did not leave. He sat on the doormat. I shut the door wondering at his unusual behaviour.
I closed the door, went back into the bedroom, woke Jethro up and took him into the study room where he has six beds (in addition to three beds in the bedroom). Every bed is of eiderdown bed. Also he has his own two sofas. His breathing was slightly heavy. This he has been experiencing for about two weeks. Before we went to bed on Sunday night I gave him fortekor (5 mg) and after slight hesitation he ate it. Then he ate his sauce of senior consult stage 2 (two pouches).
Normally I do not drink even coffee before Jethro eats. I made it a point to eat after he eats. He ate very little of the sauce when I gave him. A minute later he was asleep again. Then I saw Miss (another black cat, female with white beard) waiting outside. She too comes in the evening or in the night. (She comes even when the mercury drops down to -22!) Another neighbouring couple own her. She has been visiting me since last June and his owners did not like her paying a visit to me. They asked me not to give food but I could not. I tried many times but she refused to go back to her home. Once she took her place under the tree and stayed the entire day. Then I understood why she comes to me. (I’ll come back later with an explanation.) Every time when Miss comes she wants to come inside. I did not encourage her because Jethro will suspect that I transferred my affection to her.
Very seldom she comes in the morning. I was disturbed. Why this morning? The male black cat too came early in the morning. When I opened the door she jumped in and mewed. She’s very affectionate like Jethro friendly. I noticed the male cat has left. I served her portion. She ate about a pouch and half. After eating she goes out. But for the three weeks she started was giving performance. She lied flat on the floor and rolls down, spreading her paws and hind legs. This is a sign of trust, love and trust. She has been showing her stomach for nearly six months. It means, ‘I trust you.’ I caressed her coat when she turned to her side. The she got up and took her seat on the doormat.
The sun came up and the weather was good. I prepared a cup of coffee and drank while I shaved. All the time I was worried. It’s about his urination. What if he urinated in on the mattress in the train? What if he wants to go to the lavatory? These questions bother me whenever I take him by the train. But Jethro is good. He knows he’s on the move and controls himself. I was also keeping an eye on Jethro who was sleeping on the bed that was on the floor. There are two (oil burning) portable radiators on each side of the bed. Again these were for Jethro. When I was in Halden I bought them for him and placed on either side of his bed. Still he was sleeping. I took a quick shower, dressed and took out his large cage and placed his mattress inside. Then I opened the front door to see Miss. She has left. When I came in, Jethro saw me lifting his head. I followed his direction. It means he wants to pee. I took him and held him on the litterbox. He peed and also ****. It was very little but put an end to my worries. He’ll not pass urine for the next three hours. (Six months ago I started cleaning his bottom, not because he’s unable to clean himself but preventing him from eating the sand and other foreign stuff. He’s already a CRF cat and I did not want him to be infected with more disease. In the beginning he hated being cleaned.)Then he turned his head in the direction of bathroom. I took him inside where a large bowlful of water was kept for him. I held him he drank making noise.
I brought him back and this time I placed him on the large window overlooking the garden. There are two trees and pigeons and sparrows come to feed. I also feed birds with birdseed and sunflower seeds. He was watching the birds.
At 08:30 my immediate new neighbour’s kitten came. Three months ago they moved into the adjacent house. She also loves the food. I served her food and she ate it. After finishing she refused to leave. She took her seat opposite the door. The dreadful thought reappeared in my mind. ‘Are these cats come to say goodbye to Jethro’ but I banished the thought. I was sure that after cleaning Jethro’s teeth I’ll bring him back. Also I wanted to ask him more about Noroclav and Prednisolon.
The kitten left the place reluctantly.
The time was fast approaching for the train. On Friday, April 10, I already ordered for the taxi.
In my small backpack, I put a blanket, three pouches of senior consult stage 2, his plate, spoon, integra in foil tray, a small bowl for water. The time was 09:30. At 09:40 the taxi will come. It’s less than five minute drive to the station. I wanted him to take him outside and place him on the grass in the sunshine. Then some strange thing happened. When I took him in my arms he turned his head left and right. I never saw that sort of look. It was very peculiar and I thought it was strange. Now as I type I understand. He knew that he’s not come back. It’s one way journey.
In the train I spread the blanket on the seat, placed Jethro (with the kind permission of the conductor) on it. About thirty minutes later Jethro was lifting his head. He wanted to see the passing scenery outside. When he was healthy and travelled with me, he always put his both paws on the window and watched the scenery. I held him for about five minutes. He enjoyed it. Little I knew at that time that he’ll not be returning home.
At the clinic I took out Jethro and placed him on his mattress. I requested Cecilia for a litterbox. She kindly provided me. I placed it in front of Jethro to see his reaction. If he wants to pass urine he gets up. He was not interested. The vet, Christopher Høstmælingen was ready by 11:30. I took inside. He examined him once again and wondered why he’s breathing so heavily. Christopher administered him a small amount of sedation. A minute later he asked me to take back and place him on the mattress. Once Jethro is under complete sedation he’ll start cleaning his teeth. I brought him back on a large, green absorbent sheet in case Jethro passes urine. Jethro’s eyes were shut and he began to purse his lips. It lasted about two minutes and the sedation began to take effect. At 12:10 I brought him back and once again Christopher checked his heart beat. He warned me before hand, the risks involved in treating the old cats. When he started cleaning Jethro reacted. Christopher was amazed at Jethro’s tenacity. Once again Christopher administered a little portion and listened to his heart beat. Cautiously he cleaned the teeth with electrical dental prophy. It’s painful to see Jethro’s reaction. He’s experiencing pain.
After finishing cleaning Jethro’s teeth Christopher wanted to test his blood. He shaved under his throat, and tried to find the vein. After probing and gentle massaging he found it. He applied local anaesthesia and injected the needle to extract the blood but nothing came in. Seeing my distress and he suggested that I should leave the room and leave Jethro in his hands. If I wanted to stay I was welcome to stay. I left him and took my seat in the hall. When I was out of the room he tried the same on the front leg. The same result. He came out and explained that Jethro has very low blood pressure. Nothing can be done and he could not carry out blood test. Then he wanted to x-ray his chest to see why he’s breathing hard. I agreed. Five minutes later he called me into the x-ray room. Jethro was on the table. He recovered from the sedation and trying to get up. Very bad news. Christopher could not see Jethro’s heart. More than eighty percent of his lungs were filled with fluid. Jethro was extraordinarily good in hiding his pain. Christopher explained at the most Jethro will live for about four weeks but he’ll lead a painful life.
‘Do you want to take him back home and allow him natural death or do you want put him to sleep?’
He’ll make arrangements for cremation and Jethro’s ashes will be given in a cremation urn. I turned around to see Jethro. Tears were welling up my eyes seeing his pitiable condition. He was acting as if he had seizure. I took him in my arms and he clinched to my polo-necked sweater. We went back into his dispensary and explained the procedure. It’ll be quick and painless. My Lord, I’m crying as I’m typing this. Please, take care of my darling Jethro. He’s gentlest cat.
I did not want to see Jethro suffering. He was still struggling in my arms. He threw his front legs wildly in a desperate attempt to free himself from some unknown pain. I hugged him and agreed for euthanasia. Christopher went back to medicine, filled the syringe with light orange fluid and injected the deadly dose in his weakening muscle in the leg. I held him tightly as I burst into tears. Half a minute later Christopher examined eyes and exclaimed. ‘He’s dead!’
Christopher led me into an adjacent room. He told me that I can stay with him until the closing hours of the clinic. Then he gentle shut the door behind him leaving me alone with my best friend, my affectionate, loving Jethro.
I’m heart broken. I do not know how I’m going to pull on without Jethro. My heart is filled with misery and sorrow. I’m crying my heart out. Jethro is resting on my shoulder as wrote my feelings and emotions in my telephone. As I held him on my left shoulder from 13:00 to 20:00 I felt he’s sleeping and not dead. There was an expression of tranquillity on his pretty face. ‘Jethro, please wake up, my darling wake up.’ How many times I looked at his handsome face? Has he really gone? How many times he slept in that fashion since 2005? Jethro loved sleeping in my lap while I relaxed with a book. ‘Jethro, I’m going home without,’ I said repeatedly with tears pouring out from my eyes.
A couple of hours later his tail thinned and gone limp. He could no wage his tail to communicate. His paws were wide opened. After the closing hours of the clinic I’ll see no more Jethro. I’ll never see him again. I hugged him more tightly. I cried and cried. I could not bear the separation.
Cecilia, his beautiful blonde young assistant, gave me coffee. Ragnhild, his vet assistant was very supportive and comforted me. Now and then Christopher dropped in to say few encouraging words and give comfort. I’ll very thankful to them.
At 20:20 the vet took away Jethro. He’ll rest in a deep freezer. Christopher told me that there are few more euthanized cats in it. In about a week he’ll be cremated.
I’m back home and opened the door. After changing my clothes I went around the two rooms. I called, ‘Jethro, Jethro’, repeatedly but there was no reply in the form of a low growl from him. I fell on the bed and burst into tears. His lifeless body on the table appeared in my mind. How I miss him! Christopher allowed me to hold him in my arms until the closing hours of the clinic. I held him in my arms for nearly seven hours.
As I’m typing tears are falling on the keyboard. My eyes are blinded. I feel terrible pain. No cat will replace Jethro. It was an extraordinarily special relationship. I wish I should have gone with him. We could have been together wherever we were destined to go. The house looks terrible. I left everything in the house as it is. His beds are empty. Before we left to Lillehammer he was lying down on the bed mounted on the extended windowsill, his front paws folded under his chest looking through the large window. I noticed how deep his body made impression on the bed. The same impression I noticed in litterbox.
I can write no more.
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