Violent, raging scream

Not sure if this post goes here, or in behavior, or in crossing the bridge...

One of the things that has always stuck in my mind since my cat died almost a year ago was the scream he made when I put him in the carrier while he was in distress from a hairball.  I found out later that he was very dehydrated, so his having a harder and harder time spitting up hairballs in the weeks prior made sense - I hadn't noticed that they were pretty dry when he spat them out as there was very little vomit/fluid with them, and he was long-haired, so they were difficult to expel.

Anyway, when I put him in the carrier he screamed, but not like anything he had ever done before.  Normally he would make a high pitched squealing scream when I put him in the carrier, more like him complaining and being afraid than anything else (being put in the carrier was very scary for him).  Instead, I had never heard ANY animal make this sound.  It was violent, raging, furious, loud, terrifying.  Imagine someone sawing off your arm at the shoulder in a horror movie.  He screamed like that for a second, maybe second-and-a-half, then made his usual whining about going to the vet.  So, at first I was in shock, but when he made his usual going-to-the-vet-woe-is-me whining sounds I was relieved, but he went into cardiac arrest soon thereafter and died, with the vet finding absolutely nothing that would have caused heart failure (ECG, ultrasound, x-ray).

So my question is has anyone heard the kind of scream I described?  I could imagine a cat screaming like that if something fell on its leg and broke it but I can't imagine I broke a bone in my cat putting him in the carrier.

Yes, I've heard that scream, when my ShakerToy landed on the floor with a blood clot that made his hind legs and tail grow cold and utterly useless. He was paralyzed from the waist down, and when I took him to the vet, she said she had heard cats make that sound when in severe pain.

I am sorry about the loss of your furry one. But better he is gone than in that pain, and I am sure he loved you very much.

  Condolences on losing your precious boy... I have heard that scream when a cat has been caught by predators and also by ferals when I have caught them, even though they are uninjured.  I am sorry that you have that memory. My daughter made that same kind of scream when she was enduring a "needle biopsy" for a sarcoma tumor -- hers was true pain, as the needle went deeper for each "core sample", but obviously, catching the ferals is not pain but fear since they are so convinced that I am about to eat them.

I admire your courage in confronting a disturbing memory in order to educate yourself. The knowledge that you gain may be useful for yourself or someone else someday. Prayers and vibes for comfort and healing!

Since a blot clot was ruled out by the vet this reinforces my belief that he screamed like that out of fear/terror because he was put in the carrier while in distress (he had never had anything wrong with him when put in the carrier previously).  In other words I induced cardiac arrest because he was so overwhelmed emotionally while being in a very dehydrated state.

I know you can hear it again and again, but it only brings heartache to dwell on all those impossible to answer questions. The horrible outcome remains the same, despite all those should haves and could haves. You were bringing him to the vet because he was obviously already in distress, you would NEVER do anything to purposely hurt the one you so loved so much. Your intent was to heal him, not hurt him, and I know he knew that. You were his everything and he yours, it is almost impossible to measure how much it hurts to lose him from your life.  I know the nightmares and the guilt involved, and only time will soften the anguish you feel. I will forever hear that sound of that car hitting my baby, and I still cry over two years later.  My heart goes out to you and I'll pray for you to find peace. Remember your sweet boy would never want you to live the rest of your life in such pain and sorrow, you would want the same if the situation was reversed. Please keep in touch, the pouring of anguish from your soul helps the heart to heal a little with it's release. I wish I could erase all the pain you are feeling, but definitely know I empathize and understand. Bless you for hurting so bad because of loving so much. Take care......

cataan said:

 
Since a blot clot was ruled out by the vet this reinforces my belief that he screamed like that out of fear/terror because he was put in the carrier while in distress (he had never had anything wrong with him when put in the carrier previously).  In other words I induced cardiac arrest because he was so overwhelmed emotionally while being in a very dehydrated state.

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Oh no... There's no way you could have known that he was going to go into arrest by putting him in his carrier. What choice did you have? You had to get him to the vet safely, and you had to use a carrier to do it. The dehydration itself may have been too severe-- not only is water lost, but essential electrolytes that are key to the functioning of the body-- or there may have been another disease that the vet just didn't find and these things may have caused that cardiac arrest. He may have screamed like that not because of fear of the carrier, but because his precious heart was causing him intense, crushing pain. What Di and Bob said is very true. I'm very sorry you lost your sweet boy, and I hope that you forgive yourself for placing him in the carrier. You must have loved him very, very much.

Please do not blame yourself/ There is no way he would have gone into cardiac arrest if he hadn't been headed that way before he was put in the carrier. You might have saved his life by getting him to the vet, certainly not by just keeping him home without treatment.

. I have lost several and dwelled in the guilt. There is no shame or guilt on your part.

I feel for you so much - despite my words of wisdom, I still go over and over what I might have done wrong.

We didn't do anything wrong. We were trying to save them.

They wouldn't want us to feel this way. They would want us happy and remembering all the good times and all the love we showed them and they, us. Please be comforted a little. You are a wonderful animal lover.