Just brought home mom and 1 kitten - desperate needadvice fast!

I'm no stranger to cats....I previously adopted a female stray who walked into my house one day, and I raised one of her babies.  But this is different. 

I've been feeding a stray female at work for 6 months.  I don't really consider her feral because she is not completely frightened of people.  She has let me feed her outisde, waits for me every day, and I even was able to slightly touch her, but she sometimes would hiss.  She seemed to like me though.  She got pregnant.  We were not able to trap her before she gave birth.  But after the kittens were about 7 weeks approx, we finally got her.

So....last night I brought her back from the vet.  It was fine at first, I opened the carrier door she was in, and left her alone in a bedroom with dimmed light.  She seemed content to just stay.  However, the monkey wrench was the kitten.  I have one kitten.  He was in a separate carrier (which I didn't own).  At first, I faced the carriers together, doors open. All was calm.  I thought maybe the mother cat, if she felt like it, would got retrieve the kitten.  Well, that's what she tried to do, but for some reason the kitten growled and hissed and fought her, and she went back in her carrier to lie down.

Unfortunately this is where things went downhill.

My co-worker wanted the smaller carrier back.  (the one with the kitten).  So she plopped the kitten out on the bed, and it ran behind the dresser.  At this point, the mother cat was alarmed, and rather than being able to rest being post-op and all, went after the kitten.  They both stayed behind the dresser.  There was more growling and distress, then things quieted down.  I pulled the dresser out from the wall a lttlle and left them there all night.

I kept the bedroom quiet.  Put tuna out, milk replacement, water, and canned cat food.  I slept on the couch.

So, this morning I found them scrunched in a clothes closet.  They don't seem comfortable but seem to want to stay there.  I see some of the tuna and milk replacement was consumed, none of the canned cat food (which she usually loves).  I don't know which animal ate the food.   The litter box I put out, was used, I'm sure only by the mom.

This would be so much simpler without the kitten factor.  I know mom would come out.  This would ALSO be simpler if the opposite was the case - no mom but 1 kitten I could keep in the carrier safe and be able to monitor and feed.

I feel like this is not a good situation but I don't know what to do.

Do I leave them for a day or 2 until they decompress?

Do I separate them and place kitten in the cage? (will this even work, will it distress them?)

Is the kitten eating?

Is the mother healing from her surgery ok since she has to lay down in these godawful positions in the back of closets?

Should I just "set up" the closet a little more comfortable and leave them?

Should I just bring the kitten somewhere to be adopted?

I don't know what to do.

Samantha15 said:

 
I'm no stranger to cats....I previously adopted a female stray who walked into my house one day, and I raised one of her babies.  But this is different. 

I've been feeding a stray female at work for 6 months.  I don't really consider her feral because she is not completely frightened of people.  She has let me feed her outisde, waits for me every day, and I even was able to slightly touch her, but she sometimes would hiss.  She seemed to like me though.  She got pregnant.  We were not able to trap her before she gave birth.  But after the kittens were about 7 weeks approx, we finally got her.

So....last night I brought her back from the vet.  It was fine at first, I opened the carrier door she was in, and left her alone in a bedroom with dimmed light.  She seemed content to just stay.  However, the monkey wrench was the kitten.  I have one kitten.  He was in a separate carrier (which I didn't own).  At first, I faced the carriers together, doors open. All was calm.  I thought maybe the mother cat, if she felt like it, would got retrieve the kitten.  Well, that's what she tried to do, but for some reason the kitten growled and hissed and fought her, and she went back in her carrier to lie down.

Unfortunately this is where things went downhill.

My co-worker wanted the smaller carrier back.  (the one with the kitten).  So she plopped the kitten out on the bed, and it ran behind the dresser.  At this point, the mother cat was alarmed, and rather than being able to rest being post-op and all, went after the kitten.  They both stayed behind the dresser.  There was more growling and distress, then things quieted down.  I pulled the dresser out from the wall a lttlle and left them there all night.

I kept the bedroom quiet.  Put tuna out, milk replacement, water, and canned cat food.  I slept on the couch.

So, this morning I found them scrunched in a clothes closet.  They don't seem comfortable but seem to want to stay there.  I see some of the tuna and milk replacement was consumed, none of the canned cat food (which she usually loves).  I don't know which animal ate the food.   The litter box I put out, was used, I'm sure only by the mom.

This would be so much simpler without the kitten factor.  I know mom would come out.  This would ALSO be simpler if the opposite was the case - no mom but 1 kitten I could keep in the carrier safe and be able to monitor and feed.

I feel like this is not a good situation but I don't know what to do.

Do I leave them for a day or 2 until they decompress?

Do I separate them and place kitten in the cage? (will this even work, will it distress them?)

Is the kitten eating?

Is the mother healing from her surgery ok since she has to lay down in these godawful positions in the back of closets?

Should I just "set up" the closet a little more comfortable and leave them?

Should I just bring the kitten somewhere to be adopted?

I don't know what to do.

Click to expand...

OK, I see the situation is uncomfortable and not what you prepared.  But I think its still OK.   Semiferales are used to hide in a hole the whole day, if so is.   Hiding in a thigh hole is even an instinct for them.

Frankly, I think the best for the moment is you proceed as it is.   Let them be there, now when they had recognized each other although the funny vet smells (that is why the kitten hissed).

There is no owerhelming distress on them, and when they had cooled down even more, they will come out eat, use the litter...  Drink water...

You can try and put some soft relaxing music, classical harp music is best.  Or even, on youtube they do have purring, a mom cat purring to her kittens, sessions fo 8 hours...

Some of our forumites found good use of this.

She should heal quite soon, surviving semiferales has a good healing meat.  They must have per definition, otherwise they do perish before they are adult...

So, essentially I think YOU are in distress, because it wont become as you planned.  And you had such good plans!  But looking from onside, I think the situation isnt not bad at all.   After a couple of days, you can proceed with the socializing process, of both mom and the kitten.

Tx a lot for caring!

Good luck!

thank you.....let me know if you need my phone number too.

So far, morning is uneventful but they haven't come out of the closet or touched any food.

Samantha15 said:

 
thank you.....let me know if you need my phone number too.

So far, morning is uneventful but they haven't come out of the closet or touched any food.

Click to expand...

We very seldom phone our forumists.   We use  just the forum.   If a question is touchy or not for public ears, we use PM, but otherwise, the Forum...

BTW just to avoid any confusion...in terms of sociability....the mom likes me but has never let me "full" pet her and I would not be able to crate her or anything else at this stage of the game...she's in my bedroom and eventually I'll open the door so she can have free reign of the apt when she's ready.  The kitten is tiny and I obviously would be able to pick her up and place her in the carrier if need be.  Although, she'll be hissing and scratching, she's fully feral.

StefanZ said:

 
OK, I see the situation is uncomfortable and not what you prepared.  But I think its still OK.   Semiferales are used to hide in a hole the whole day, if so is.   Hiding in a thigh hole is even an instinct for them.

Frankly, I think the best for the moment is you proceed as it is.   Let them be there, now when they had recognized each other although the funny vet smells (that is why the kitten hissed).

There is no owerhelming distress on them, and when they had cooled down even more, they will come out eat, use the litter...  Drink water...

You can try and put some soft relaxing music, classical harp music is best.  Or even, on youtube they do have purring, a mom cat purring to her kittens, sessions fo 8 hours...

Some of our forumites found good use of this.

She should heal quite soon, surviving semiferales has a good healing meat.  They must have per definition, otherwise they do perish before they are adult...

So, essentially I think YOU are in distress, because it wont become as you planned.  And you had such good plans!  But looking from onside, I think the situation isnt not bad at all.   After a couple of days, you can proceed with the socializing process, of both mom and the kitten.

Tx a lot for caring!

Good luck!

ps.  I asked a mod to take away the dialogue with Stephanie.  Which although innocent and nothing bad, are really OT here... Doesnt belong, as Stephanie herself admitted.

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Oh thank you so much, I'm relieved to hear it is ok.  I am so worried about them.

I guess I will give them some space for now. 

So....in a few days do you think it's enough to just pick up the kitten once in a while and groom, pet, and place back with mom, or should I put her in the carrier (big and roomy with comfy blanket) so I can monitor her eating and it can get used to seeing me?  Maybe this will distress mom, if it will then forget it.

What doyou think?

Samantha15 said:

 
BTW just to avoid any confusion...in terms of sociability....the mom likes me but has never let me "full" pet her and I would not be able to crate her or anything else at this stage of the game...she's in my bedroom and eventually I'll open the door so she can have free reign of the apt when she's ready.  The kitten is tiny and I obviously would be able to pick her up and place her in the carrier if need be.  Although, she'll be hissing and scratching, she's fully feral.

Click to expand...

I see you are on good way to socialize the mom, although it will take time.

With the kitten its more hurry, because it will be more difficult later on.  Fully possible,  but the easy fase of full socialization is now, it ends about week 8...

But we will take it when he comes out, step by step.  We are many knowleable here in this forum,  teammembers and experienced forumists.

So far they are doing ok I think.  Some canned food was eaten, some tuna, not much of the milk replacement.  Pee and poop in the litter box.  Although, I don't know if ;the kitten is using it.  I slept on the couch again last night.  At about 5am I heard the mom making calls to the kitten and the kitten crying, it was only a couple minutes then it stopped.  There was also a point in the middle of the night when i heaard mom make a warning sound....maybe the kitten was trying to nurse and it hurt her stiches?  Not sure. 

I found a nursing mom video on you tube like you suggested, annd left that on during the day, shut it at night.  I am wondering if I should leave the bedroom totally dark at night or leave a low light on.

I dont think the light matters much, but if it is pitch black, leave some light on yes.

It sounds like they may be settling in some.  No doubt both were a little stressed out with all the new stuff going on.  As long as they remain quiet, and you can visit with them several times a day, they should be fine.  One thing I do with newbees is sit in the room and quietly read out loud to them.  It gets them used to your presence and your voice.  You can also leave some music on.

Thank you for helping them.  These things always take a lot more time than we expect but really, it sounds like you're doing fine.

Well, it's been over a month, I think.

I'm not pleased with the progression and need some advice how to go from here.  I'm still sleeping on the couch, btw.  They have my bedroom.  This is how it progressed so far:

1.  Mom and kitten both hissings, stressed and hiding in closet.

2.  Then they felt comfortable coming out into room and staying under the bed.  Never ventured from there.

3.  Then they utilized the room a bit more...really just the kitten mostly, I think.  Mom stayed under the bed if she wasn't eating.

4.  Then I started moving the food bowl out into the hallway and they accepted that.  Mom ate then went back into the room.

5.  The kitten has become more playful with time and allows me to bat balls to him and things, but won't let me get too close.

I feel like there should be some more trust at this point, I still get some growling every day from mom.  And I expected mom to travel the apartment and at least want to check it out but she hasn't done that.  I don't think she does it while I'm sleeping, either.

This is my average day:

a.  I wake up to the alarm, shuffle into the bathroom (which means I pass the open bedroom in the dark. (Only night light).  I can hear Charlie the kitten getting frisky, he's usually playing and running back and forth from the dining room to the bedroom early in the am.  I brush teeth, etc.  Then I open bathroom door and stand there, greeting them vocally.  Mom goes from growling to being happy and approaching me and rubbing against the wall and against the kitten.  Still keeping distance of 3 feet.  Kitten watches her and does the same thing, keeping same length of distance and jumps at moms tail, watches me, occasionally running back to the dining room and back to mom.  As long as I don't move my feet or arms, they are fine.  They seem to relax more with my vocalizations so I keep that up.  They understand food is forthcoming, clearly.  This is one of the most relaxed and happiest times of the day, so I savor it.

b. I start slowly walking toward the kitchen.  If I do it slowly, mom won't growl.  She stands and watches me.  If the kitten is too close at this point he'll jump back to mom, or will jump to the dining room table legs.  I feel it's good progress at least that sometimes he'll stay there in the dining area while I'm walking by instead of always jumping back to the bedroom.  But still, it's clear he has firm borders with me that he still can't seem to pass. 

c.  I walk to the kitchen, sometimes the kitten follows halfway then stops or goes back or goes to the dining area.  I'm in the kitten, light on, greeting them thru the passthrough window.  Mom seems relieved a this and knows I'm not going to be walking around, she relaxes more, waits for food, sits and watches me from a distance.  Both mom and Charlie seem excited when they hear the cans open.

d.  I walk toward them with the dishes.  Mom starts backing up.  Charlie is usually under the dining room table or something, not really that afraid but cautious and jumpy.  I put the plates down in the hallway.  I can either step back and sit on the floor 3 feet away and not move a muscle and they will eat, or I can walk back to the kitchen and watch them eat from there.  I can't do anything else, otherwise they will run.  They will not allow me to stand near them while eating, unless I'm standing way back in the kitchen. 

e.  Mom goes back under the bed after she's done eating.  She looks around the apartment, but never ventures out of the hallway, even when her kitten frequently does and she sees him do that.  Even if I am frozen and not moving, she won't no matter what.

f.  Kitten stays out in the dining area and plays a bit, runs into the living room only where the wall is not in open space.  I'll come out slowly usually near the dining area and sit and roll balls or stick and fuzzy ball.  Charlie will chase them cautiously.   He always stays about 3 or 4 feet away.  Lately, he won't attack the fuzzy at the end of the stick unless I put the stick down, which is disappointing.  His habit lately the past couple of days is to steal stuff and go running into the bedroom with it.  He's taking everything in there.  Anyway, I'll give him time to do this and to eat a bit more, then I turn on more apartment lights, and make coffee and make more noise. 

g.  I'll sit quietly at the dining room table with my laptop and drink coffee.  Charlie will sometimes come out and eat, or stare at me.  Sometimes he walks under the dining room legs and I don't realize it and move my leg and he takes off running like there's a fire.

h.  Then after a bit I don't see Charlie much as the morning progresses.  I get ready for work, they are both under the bed. 

i.  I come home from work, feed them and change the litter box.  Lots of growling from mom when I'm in the bedroom (any time of day).  They are both less trusting at the evening feedings for some reason than the morning one. 

j.  Early evening I'm on the couch watching tv, mom is under the bed, Charlie is playing under the dining room table or stealing more things, or drinking water, or in the bedroom knocking things around.

k.  It's quiet for a few hours, then later in the evening when I'm on the couch, mom comes and peeks her head out looking at me.  Sometimes she'll sit right outside the door and no further, not even into the hallway.  I know what she wants, she wants a snack.  Kitten is with her.

l.  I get up, get dry food and put it in the bowl in the bedroom just outside the bedroom door.  This is always a dangerous thing, because mom doesn't like the back up, and doesn't generally like me in the bedroom, and doesn't easily recognize what I'm doing even if I have food in my hand.  I put the dry food in one bowl, I go to put it in the other bowl (last night she scratched me when I did this). 

m.  Lately, mom wants something other than dry food for late night snack so I'll open one of those small cans and empty it into a plate and they both eat out of it.

n.  They go to sleep and then I go to sleep.  During the night I can't tell what happens but I think what happens is in the early morning before the sun rises the kitten is out in the apartment.  Never by my couch, though.  Mom never comes out.

So I just don't know what to do at this point.  I feel like we're stalling after some encouraging progress.

Have you tried making them work a little harder for their food?  Sitting down with their food bowl so they have to come really close to eat?  Start trying to pet them lightly behind the ears?

I'm trying, but I cant get close enough to touch.  I'm sad there's no bonding and I'm worried about it.

Maybe I'll try like you said to sit by the bowl and make them come close. 

That has been working for me.  It is better when they choose to come to you and food is an excellent lure to make them try and risk it.  They seem to be the most hungry and agreeable first thing in the morning, as you have discovered.  If it doesn't work the first time try making them wait a little later than usual for their breakfast.  Make really slow hand movements.  I have even sat on the ground cross-legged (Indian style) and put the bowl in my lap.  Works great.  Good luck to you, I'm pulling for you.