or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Serious problem at work...need to vent a bit
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Serious problem at work...need to vent a bit - Page 2

post #31 of 41
As an HR Director, I say "Good For YOU!", and everyone on this site who advised you that you did the right thing!

Anytime you feel "uncomfortable" with a situation (another person gave similar advice on this website), make your feelings known and request that the other person stop the offensive behavior. Once the other person continues the offensive behavior, he/she has committed harassment. Period. Against the law.

Also, go to HR or another level of management, and voice your concern. Generally, the offender will receive a "warning" that the behavior was out of order and cannot happen again. Then, if the behavior ever does occur again, he/she is OUTA HERE!

It is the obligation of HR and management to STOP the illegal behavior. If they fail to stop the illegal behavior, you can sue your employer for damages. TRUST ME, your company will stop the uncomfortable situation- they don't want a suit!

Regards, Happy Holidays, and how do I get a cute little animal for my signature????!!!!

post #32 of 41
Hi Shell,

You did the right thing. Though if anyone ever says anything to you in future that you're not comfortable with, speak up.

Don't feel intimidated when you see him. You didn't do anything wrong. And if you feel that he's acting out because of the report, then report that as well. I'm sure that there's some sort of regulations that would state that he can't make your life miserable because you complained, and neither can anyone else.

You may have a short meeting with the other management so that you know what happenned and who to contact if he does anything again. Or if he starts to make you professional life miserable.
post #33 of 41
The last 15 years I have worked in a male dominated work area. I have found out that those kind of men are scum and treat you how you let them. What has worked for me is the minute it starts, stop it then. If they call you hun or sweetie, tell them right then what your name is. If you feel uneasy being alone with them, you do not have to go into any room with them, get someone to go with you. And always go to management asap and report these people.
I remember one time when the First President Bush was president and he came to our company and the secret service was everywhere. With me being the bosses assistant they would come to me with questions and I even typed letters for them. This one man that I worked with in the company saw the work I as doing and made a comment like "look at you working with all these cute secret service guys, maybe you can hook one", I told him, Let me tell you something mister, I do not apreciate your comment and I am here to do my job, so why don't you do yours". From that day on he never talked like that to me and has been very polite around me.
So when things first happen Nip It
You hang in there, you have done nothing wrong and maybe other women in the company will speak up. You know they are out there, they were just afraid.
post #34 of 41
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone! I thought I'd give you a quick update on the situation. I got to work this morning at 7 & who did I run into...yes Tom (that's his name). He gave me the deer in the headlight look & walked away. I was shocked to see him & by seeing his expression, I didn't say anything. Later in the morning, I had a meeting with my CoManager who told me that they wrote him up & gave him a decision making day (in laymens terms: they sent him home & have him the decision if he wanted to change his behavior. If so, he can come back. If not, he's gone.). Obviously, he came back but he's on probation for one year. I was told that he openly admitted to saying & do those things to me and that he didn't realize he was upsetting me. He even said that he's done that to customers! But promised to stop that behavior immediately.

I'm happy with that decision. At least he'll be on probation for one year & is being held accountable for his actions. I guess I'll have to wait and see how it goes when I finally run into him again.

I've definitely learned that I need to nip those kinds of things right at the start....especially since I'm upper management. I should have known better, but now I know what I should have done will do that from now on.

Thank you all for your support! Thank you all so much!
post #35 of 41
Shell I'm so glad to hear it seems to have turned out well. I have been reading the thread and waiting till you posted this evening to see how it was when you first saw him after he had a talking to. You certainly don't need to put up with that kind of behavior from anyone ever at work and by having the courage to stand up to it you helped all the future women he might and probably would have acted the same way with. Way to go!
post #36 of 41
That's great news!

Though the part about him doing the same thing to customers is shocking. I think it may have been part of his defence strategy in that no one else has complained before. Just my thought on things.

I hope everything goes smoothly and he does his job.

Take care of yourself.
post #37 of 41
He admitt doing that even to the customers , omg . He is lucky he never meet me , he for sure would have bin fired .

Glad everything went well today and I am so proud of you .
post #38 of 41
Thread Starter 
Thanks Guys!

It was really tough but I figure that it gave me great experience as a Manager. I may have to deal with situations like this in the future & now I know how to handle it as a Manager. I guess the old saying holds true "What ever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger".

On a lighter note, I could have killed my partner in crime today! He walks into the office & the first thing outta his mouth was "Michelle...did you hear what happened this weekend?". I of course say no. He then says "OMG, they had to call the cops! I guess Tom just wigged out when they talked to him & they had him arrested!". I swear I thought I was going to cry & I must have had the look of sheer horror on my face. Then he busted out laughing & said "Gotcha!". That little punk! After I chewed him out for a solid minute & saying more cuss words than a sailor, I finally laughed about it. He could tell that I had worked myself up over it all & just wanted to see me freak out a bit & get me to laughing (which I hadn't done in several days). He's lucky that I like him! I could have kicked him the butt! But he succeeded...he made me laugh & that was the whole point of it all.

Just had to share about my so very nice partner & how he about gave me a heartattack this morning!

Thanks again Guys! Thanks for being there when I really needed someone to talk to!
post #39 of 41
ROTFLMBO!!! How mean of ur partner in crime! At least he got u laughing. Hang in there..
post #40 of 41

That's so funny. And good of your partner in crime.
post #41 of 41
How funny
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Serious problem at work...need to vent a bit