New Vet Clueless for what we do

Hi all,

I haven't been around for awhile, but I am needing some feedback from the feral cat caretakers. Feeling alone in this feral cat world tonight.

One of the feral cats in the colony of 50 that I manage, a white cat, got cancer on one of her ears that advanced quickly.

She was one who would come occasionally to feed. I hadn't seen her in awhile and the ear looked just horrible. Like cottage cheese with great globs of dried blood. Just awful, and it seemed to be spreading onto her jaw.

It took me over a month to get her and I finally did today and then rushed her to the vet

My regular vet retired a few months ago, so I have been establishing myself with a new vet. She and I discussed this cat. She explained the options, which weren't good for a prognosis (she hadn't seen the cat, but based on my description, she said the surgery would be in the thousands of dollars with no way of knowing if there would be a cure. We decided the best route was to catch her and put her down.

That vet was not in today, so I got a different man I had seen a couple of times before but  don't really know.

He began the appointment with an interrogation of my reasons for wanting to put the cat down. For information, I am a one woman operation. I have taken care of this colony of 50 feral cats for over 16 years without any help, financial or otherwise! Putting a cat down from the colony is something I have had to do over the years. It is never an easy decision. A piece of my heart always goes with each one.

Anyway, this vet's interrogation included the comment that he wanted to make sure I wasn't putting the cat down as a matter of CONVENIENCE!!!!! (for all of you feral cat managers out there, can you imagine anyone suggesting that to anyone of us????)

I gulped down my reaction while attempting to explain how hard it was to come to the decision, but I knew this cat was in pain (OBVIOUSLY) and wanted to spare her having to continue living with such pain, with know way to stop it. 

He finally agreed (after saying he also didn't want to have a hard time going to sleep at night after putting down a cat for the wrong reasons). (I wanted to say, do you have any idea how many sleepless nights I have spent worrying about this cat?)

Then, as he was about to give the final injection, I said it was so hard to have to do the euthanasia, and he said "it's okay, I trust you."

Now, my feeling is, I am supposed to trust him. I have never had a vet say anything other than 'you are doing the right thing, and I know how difficult this is."

It seemed to me he was saying 'I don't agree with what you are doing, but I trust you know what you are doing.!

I know if I had been with the female vet and she had seen the ear, she would have said, this cat must be put down. 

Maybe I am just too sensitive, but I am feeling hurt and I just can't stop thinking about what he said, while I am grieving for the sweet cat that left the earth today.

I guess I just don't understand, particularly in the vet world, why there is so little understanding still about what TNR is, how much work it entails, and how little general support we get from our Communities and those who don't know what TNR is. 

Feedback, greatly appreciated.  I am a little fragile about hearing negative comments since I feel like I got such negative energy from the vet. So, please be gentle. Thanks so much!!

You did the right thing, and deep down you know that. You know these cats better than anyone. I just don't understand why there are so many ignorant, unsympathetic people out there...especially in the veterinary profession.

Nothing else I can say except for more and may that sweet girl rest in peace

You absolutely did the right thing.  How horrible he acted. I am sorry you had to go through this.  Bless you for ending her suffering and making the difficult decision.

RIP sweet soul.

I know how you feel other people just don't seem to understand that we do and how every one of these cats are like our own kids. Grumpy teenage kids most times but that's besides the point.

I know you love them all and only want what is best for them all. 

 I know you went and cried like there it no tomorrow. Because thats want great moms do.They feel the pain for their loved ones so they dont have to.

 You let that baby rest and finally have some peace. Knowing you were going to live with the pain for it.

In my book you are a HERO.

Forget all about that vet . He has no idea what it's like, he would never go through what you have.  Some people just don't have it in them.

Because it is HARD and it HURTS.

There is a special place in heaven for you. Every little part of your heart is there waiting and watching you now. 

 Thank you for taking care of and loving those cats. 

I am sorry you had to go through this.

 You are a great person and a HERO in many lives

so sorry to read that, and thank you for putting a stop to this cat's suffering. It doesn't sound as this would be a very good vet - didn't he see the spreading cancer in this poor creature? Nice to know he's reluctant to put down a healthy cat, but an incredibly sick one with nothing but pain in the future?

Can only shake my head and to suggest not to consult this particular vet for anything more difficult than an abscess.

And yes, we all feel with you. Easy to say for me sitting here miles away, but if possible, I'd shake if off and use my energy to care for the living ones...


(pic of the Rogue, who always cheers me up. He's usually wrestling someone, biting into something he shouldn't, jumping into something he shouldn't or demanding food)

I have been in the exact same situation before. Most vets really have no idea how tnr colonies work in real life nor the challenges involved in caring for one . You absolutely did the right thing and although it would be so much better with an informed and understanding vet. the outcome is what is most important. Caring for a Feral Colony is such an emotional and sometimes heartbreaking experience and very few people I've met would be up to the task. Consider yourself a special human being for what you do as it is really a unique gift you give to these animals in making their daily existence so much better than it would be otherwise. It truly is a thankless job that most are incapable of performing. Thanks.

Oh Gosh you all. Bless you and so much thanks. I can't tell you how much I needed your kind words and understanding! Thank you so much! I agree, it is nice to know the vet is making sure animals are not put down for no reason. But holy cow, it seems hard to imagine how a vet could be so clueless. It is especially hard to understand when my old vet, the one who just retired, had told this younger male vet all about me. My retired vet felt he learned so much about managing a feral colony from what I did and he did all he could to be of help. He always worried about me knowing how much I hurt when having to put one down.

But, most important, you all helped to heal my soul today. Last night I worried so about what happened. What I got from that vet, besides no understanding, was the thought I should not put her down, but put her back into the colony until she got worse!! Holy cow!!! Can you imagine?????

The dear sweet, Sophie, was in awful pain. And I could see she was being shunned by some in the colony. My suspicion is/was that the others sense when someone is in trouble, and, of course, when they are, they are more apt to be prey, which means they are dangerous for the colony. She was most close with two others, who I saw this morning. Those two also seemed to be avoiding her at the end, but it was hard to see them together this morning without Sophie somewhere near. I know she is in kitty heaven with the ones who have gone before, and I am at peace with just that thought.

Once again, to all of you..thank heaven you are there, thank heaven you took the time for me, I was really hurting, and feel as if I got a wonderful, great big bandage and lots of hugs from you all.

Hugs to all of you, and I hope you will call on me if you ever need comfort or help.....
Sally