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Hi! I’m new. I’m having some foster introduction issues and I’m looking for a little reassurance/advice. Sorry in advance for the length.
I have a 5-ish year old female cat named Mila. She’s my tiny kitten soulmate. I adopted her about three years ago when she was turned into the shelter as a stray. She’s on the small side (7 lbs) but super feisty, energetic and athletic. She is great with people but aggressive when she sees cats out in the yard (I’ve been to the hospital for some of her redirected aggression).
About a year ago, I started volunteering at the shelter. A few weeks ago someone “returned” a kitten that they had adopted in January for litter box issues. As it turns out, Oliver (now 5 months old; male; ~5 lbs but growing) had parasites and horrible diarrhea. The shelter treated him for the parasites, had him neutered and I volunteered to foster him with the hope of adopting. I took him home March 14th, so it’s been two and a half weeks.
I have had Oliver separated in the downstairs craft room since I brought him home and he’s adjusted well. Mila hissed/growled/charged at the door for the first few days, but has since mellowed a bit. She hasn’t hissed at the closed door in about 5 days. The scent swapping towels did not faze either of them. Twice a day (first thing in the morning and when I get home from work) I put Mila up in our bedroom and let Oliver run around downstairs for 30-60 minutes. He has not been bothered by her scent at all. Mila will refuse to sit in my lap if I’m using Oliver’s blanket, but she’ll sit next to me on the sofa. If I’m in Oliver’s room with the door closed, she waits on the stairs or on her perch for me to come out. She doesn’t have a problem with his scent on me.
Since there has been no hissing at the closed door, I have started opening the door 1-2 inches, held with a doorstop, for her to look into the room while Oliver is there. I’ll distract him by playing with him or feeding him near the door. Mila is fine when she can watch him from a distance, but the second he sees her he walks over towards the door and she starts hissing (tail is not flicking, ears are not back). Oliver is totally oblivious and puts his nose up to the crack in the door or reaches a paw through (not aggressively) to say hi. Mila will generally hiss again and walk away on her own at that point. Other than this, she has been eating and sleeping normally and her attitude towards me hasn’t changed.
So, my questions are:
(1) Does it seem like there’s been some progress in the introductions? I might be too close to the day-to-day stuff to see the big picture. Is this going “well”? How much hissing is normal?
(2) Is my home the best place for Oliver? I finally corrected his diet and have been giving him probiotics/digestive enzymes. He’s using the litter box 100% of the time and his poop is finally solid (hallelujah). He now has a ton of energy. He’s about 6 months old, friendly, vocal and a lap cat. He would have no trouble getting adopted (although the shelter would have to disclose the prior issues/surrender) and he would fit in great in a house with kids. Can I, ethically, keep him in my house to deal with a (kind of mean) cat when he could be adopted pretty easily? The staff at the shelter have said that they will, of course, take him back the second something goes wrong… but nothing has gone wrong yet because they haven’t had any contact. How long should I wait to see if it works out? The shelter is fairly low on cats right now but we’re getting into kitten season (there are already a few litters with fosters that I know of). If I try to wait them out, a 6-7 month old kitten may be harder to adopt in a room full of 3-4 month-olds.
I know three weeks isn’t a lot of time in the cat introduction timeline, I just don’t have a clear indication of which way this is going to go. I may be extra nervous because of the violent way Mila has acted out in the past with stranger cats in the yard. It’s a lot for me to consider and I need a neutral party’s advice to be sure that I’m doing the best thing for Mila and Oliver.
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5.4pt;mso-para-margin-top:0in;mso-para-margin-right:0in;mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;mso-para-margin-left:0in;line-height:115%;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;}</style><![endif]Hi! I’m new. I’m having some foster introduction issues and I’m looking for a little reassurance/advice. Sorry in advance for the length.
I have a 5-ish year old female cat named Mila. She’s my tiny kitten soulmate. I adopted her about three years ago when she was turned into the shelter as a stray. She’s on the small side (7 lbs) but super feisty, energetic and athletic. She is great with people but aggressive when she sees cats out in the yard (I’ve been to the hospital for some of her redirected aggression).
About a year ago, I started volunteering at the shelter. A few weeks ago someone “returned” a kitten that they had adopted in January for litter box issues. As it turns out, Oliver (now 5 months old; male; ~5 lbs but growing) had parasites and horrible diarrhea. The shelter treated him for the parasites, had him neutered and I volunteered to foster him with the hope of adopting. I took him home March 14th, so it’s been two and a half weeks.
I have had Oliver separated in the downstairs craft room since I brought him home and he’s adjusted well. Mila hissed/growled/charged at the door for the first few days, but has since mellowed a bit. She hasn’t hissed at the closed door in about 5 days. The scent swapping towels did not faze either of them. Twice a day (first thing in the morning and when I get home from work) I put Mila up in our bedroom and let Oliver run around downstairs for 30-60 minutes. He has not been bothered by her scent at all. Mila will refuse to sit in my lap if I’m using Oliver’s blanket, but she’ll sit next to me on the sofa. If I’m in Oliver’s room with the door closed, she waits on the stairs or on her perch for me to come out. She doesn’t have a problem with his scent on me.
Since there has been no hissing at the closed door, I have started opening the door 1-2 inches, held with a doorstop, for her to look into the room while Oliver is there. I’ll distract him by playing with him or feeding him near the door. Mila is fine when she can watch him from a distance, but the second he sees her he walks over towards the door and she starts hissing (tail is not flicking, ears are not back). Oliver is totally oblivious and puts his nose up to the crack in the door or reaches a paw through (not aggressively) to say hi. Mila will generally hiss again and walk away on her own at that point. Other than this, she has been eating and sleeping normally and her attitude towards me hasn’t changed.
So, my questions are:
(1) Does it seem like there’s been some progress in the introductions? I might be too close to the day-to-day stuff to see the big picture. Is this going “well”? How much hissing is normal?
(2) Is my home the best place for Oliver? I finally corrected his diet and have been giving him probiotics/digestive enzymes. He’s using the litter box 100% of the time and his poop is finally solid (hallelujah). He now has a ton of energy. He’s about 6 months old, friendly, vocal and a lap cat. He would have no trouble getting adopted (although the shelter would have to disclose the prior issues/surrender) and he would fit in great in a house with kids. Can I, ethically, keep him in my house to deal with a (kind of mean) cat when he could be adopted pretty easily? The staff at the shelter have said that they will, of course, take him back the second something goes wrong… but nothing has gone wrong yet because they haven’t had any contact. How long should I wait to see if it works out? The shelter is fairly low on cats right now but we’re getting into kitten season (there are already a few litters with fosters that I know of). If I try to wait them out, a 6-7 month old kitten may be harder to adopt in a room full of 3-4 month-olds.
I know three weeks isn’t a lot of time in the cat introduction timeline, I just don’t have a clear indication of which way this is going to go. I may be extra nervous because of the violent way Mila has acted out in the past with stranger cats in the yard. It’s a lot for me to consider and I need a neutral party’s advice to be sure that I’m doing the best thing for Mila and Oliver.
