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Wow!  That is unbelievable that she is already spayed.  So someone cared enough to spay her then abandoned her.  Poor thing.  She is so lucky to have you.

I know the farmer well - I've had Collie at his farm for 8 years now, and I share a stable with his partner. They have no clue where she came from, and we're the only people on the yard that bother to take care of the cats (well, cat now). I know a litter was dumped in August (no idea of how many/age though, and we only found out recently that that was what happened - if we'd seen Thames in August we'd have rescued them there and then), and I know there were black kittens - an enterprising one hitched a lift to another yard round about Christmas(!), and mum caught very occasional glimpses of Asha in January, but didn't see her after that. So...it's logical that she's related to the other one, but just weaned kittens wouldn't be spayed. The yard is on an army base, and cats do get left/dumped when people are posted. I don't know.

It's great she hasn't had to have surgery. She's really out of it now...just come home and very woozy still. They shaved a huge chunk of fur off...she'll be cold until it grows back a bit. I'll post a photo when I get a chance...she's lying on that side at the moment.

Here's how much fur they took off from her side
They shaved a lot of her neck and chin too. Don't know what they did, but the fur's all matted with some sort of dried up fluid. I'll have to try and clean her up later, but I want her settled first.

Think she's coming round a bit - she's been up and down the ladder to her room, and on and off my bedroom windowsill for bird watching duty [emoji]128572[/emoji]

Columbine said:

Here's how much fur they took off from her side

20150429_171157.jpg

• Columbine
• Apr 29, 2015

They shaved a lot of her neck and chin too. Don't know what they did, but the fur's all matted with some sort of dried up fluid. I'll have to try and clean her up later, but I want her settled first.

Think she's coming round a bit - she's been up and down the ladder to her room, and on and off my bedroom windowsill for bird watching duty [emoji]128572[/emoji]

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Strange that if she was part of the litter in August that she was taken, spayed and returned. Maybe someone took her home from the barn, and got all of her shots/spay, etc. and then realized they didn't want a kitten and brought her back and left her there? :dk: OR yes, a dump off.

WHAT!!!!! I have never seen a spay surgery shave that huge. The shave under her neck was probably for getting the needle in the vein. Did they look at the lump on her jaw? Don't worry - her hair will grow back and yes, wonderful that she didn't need that surgery!!

Poor baby - bet she is thrilled to be back home! She won't know what the heck happened to her fur!!! :shame: Give her a hug for me. Share more pictures when you can - she is a beauty.

I wonder more if she was dumped just after spaying...? People do weird things. She could be totally unconnected to the August litter. The strange thing is that only one of those kittens was seen again (the one who moved yards). I guess we'll never know. Army base plus gypsies plus farms...who knows? Not to mention slip road to a motorway - its not unknown for people to literally throw unwanted animals out of moving cars around the farm Collie's at :jaw:

Maybe they did such a big shave to be sure of finding a scar before cutting. They did a needle aspiration for the lump, and checked and cleaned her ears (no ear mites )

She doesn't hold grudges (unlike some cats I've had). I just had to take a damp washcloth to the - the fur all around the shaving on her jaw/neck/chest was all hard and matted. She ran off when I'd done it, but took a treat and cuddle 2 mins later :rub:

I think I'll hold off on pics till her fur grows back a bit....can't have the little supermodel embarrassed (she struts round all the time like she's saying 'look at me....aren't I gorgeous ' :lol3:

Asha was left free to roam the house last night . She was a little confused to start with, then came and settled in my room. I think she stayed all night, hopping into bed with me and Pixie this morning for cuddles.

I think all went well. I wasn't aware of any untoward noises in the night. There were no clumps of fur lying around this morning. Shadow seemed as relaxed as ever. Good signs overall, I think

Other news (though not so momentous) is that I brushed Asha for the first time last night, and she loved it. She even let me brush out the matted bits that hadn't come clean with the washcloth. Must've pulled a bit, but she just let me do it and purred. She's such a good girl
Just teeth cleaning to go.....

AWWWW - Asha sounds just too sweet for words. I am loving her personality and temperament. What a love!!! :heart3: Yeah - no pictures until she says she is ready to be seen. :lol3:

YAY - her first free night and all seemingly went very, very well. AWESOME!!!!! :high5:

I wasn't there, but mum said Shad approached Asha and they sat nose to nose, just looking at each other. After a bit, Shad went off again. No hissing, no growling, no fluffing up...

I think Asha and Leah are becoming friends (though Asha's definitely the boss :lol3: ). We've found Asha sat by Leah's bed a few times, and she's even walked over to Leah and chirruped at her! It's not all sweetness and light though....Leah gas a nasty habit of running into the kitchen whenever she sees something extra yummy being prepped and chasing the cats out if they dare to come in. Well...I was bringing out some rehydrated freeze dried raw for Asha (which Leah has had and loved dry as a treat). Leah charged at Asha (who was between us), and Asha just turned round and hissed once, very pointedly. I've never seen Leah sit so fast in all my life It's obvious who rules here

The really interesting thing about it was that a moment later madam got onto the kitchen worktop (totally forbidden...but having some trouble convincing her). She wouldn't get down so I grabbed her and put her on (Shadow's) dining table. A moment later Shad got onto it too, asking where his food was. No hissing, growling or anything else from either of them. They just ignored/accepted each other. That seems really really big to me, given that Asha was prevented by Aashka from hunting/feeding accepted the stables.

I'm so proud of my fur family :heart3:

Big problem. Mum's just blown up about all Asha's things being in her office ( her suggestion, I might add). She wants the crate out in a month (including Asha's water dish....not that I'm aware of Asha drinking much from anywhere ), the scratching post out (ideally) now, the 2nd litter tray gone for good...Basically everything out. I don't know what to do. The tray could come down from the mezzanine and be in the bottom half of the office...but mum sees no reason why it can't be dispensed with altogether now that Asha's free to roam.

I don't know what the hell to do. Mum gets very rigid at times, and once she gets an idea in her head it's incredibly hard to dissuade her. Asha and Shadow are a long way from being 100% comfortable and confident with each other. There are some fantastic moments, but there's still hissing and a little growling (Asha) and a lot of tentative, uncertain body language (Shad). Asha's only been loose for two nights, for goodness sake.

On a happier note, I started the tooth brushing process with Asha today - logic toothpaste rubbed over her teeth with my finger (I hope to progress to a fabric finger 'brush'). She didn't love it, but didn't struggle or fight me, and she was still talking to me afterwards She's such a good girl :heart3:

Columbine How many cats do you have besides Asha and Shad? I keep getting confused with all the names. Idealy you want no less than 1 litter pan per 2 cats. but normally if you have more than 1 cat you want at least 2 litter pans. You normally do not want to change locations for the litter pans suddenly no matter how well the cats are reacting. I have 5 cats and I still have some spats and all my cats have been together for over a year. You might be over dramatizing the hissing as fighting and not just friendly playing. Animals will act like people sometimes they have a good day and then they will get in a grumps and hiss at each other.

Dealing with your Mum might mean you will have to move the one cats items to another close part of the house. But doing it gradually to the final spot. I would suggest placing a 3rd litter pan where you will place the litter pan finally and then gradually move the 2nd pan toward the 3rd pan. then when you have them in the same location you can decide which pan to eliminate. Your Mum might not realize that 2 nights is not enough time to put the 2 cats together permanently. It takes several weeks and even longer depending on the cats temperments.

I hope this helps

T

Sorry. I have 2 indoor cats - Asha and Shadow (Shad), and 2 dogs - Leah and Pixie. (There's also a pony and a semi feral cat, but they're not at home ).

I know all the ideals about litter box, but mum doesn't listen. She's well used to cats...she's had them all her life...but they've all been indoor/outdoor until Shadow (and his late brother). Indoor/outdoor is the norm in this country. I think mum's also more old fashioned in her approach. When I was a kid we had up to 6 cats and 1 box. Because that worked fine, she can't see why 2 cats need more than 1 box. Sadly, 3 boxes will be totally out of the question. I know what I'd do, but I'm not the only person living here, and I can't totally disregard mum's wishes in her own house.

I don't think I'm over dramatising the hissing etc. Shadow's never met a cat other than his brother in his life, and he's 13 now. Asha arrived on March 3rd, having been bullied by another semi feral (among other things). It's really important to me that Shadow doesn't lose confidence in his own house - especially in view of his age.

Thanks for your input. It's the human personalities that are the biggest obstacles right now

Maybe by moving the one box out of Mum's traffic location might help. out of sight out of mind. I had another cat that was bullied. I got him from a breeder who had way to many cats in a small room. If you think of dominate and recessive animals most people dont remember there is actually 4 different attitudes. You could have dominate dominate, dominate recessive, Recessive dominate, and recessive recessive, It sounds like your cats fall in the middle 2 categories. That is were in some situations one of the cats will allow the other cat to be the main cat and the other cat will take second place. It is hard to determine which way the cats are. One of the things we have tried and seems to work well is that we get a squirt bottle and fill it with water, and when the cats start fighting you can squirt the one cat. This allows you to stay at a distance when you work at correcting the situation. because if you have to get up and separate the cats the attitude is changed because you have moved and the cats scatter. With the water bottle you can correct the attitude immediately.

If I remember you made comments that made me think you Mum's house is a large house. Can you move the cat items to different parts of the other part of the house?, out of constant view of your Mum. This might help that situation.

I have 1 cat that the dog keeps "attacking" almost like moling the cat. He never breaks the skin but he will get the cat were the cat cannot get away and we have to correct the situation. We have cut escape routes in the doors to the rooms the cats can escape to in order to let them get away from the dog. Our second dog is a small dog and can go through the escape routes also.

We're more concerned about stress levels than actual fighting. We're just concious that this is really new ground for Shad and want him to stay as happy and secure as possible throughout this process.

The house is biggish, but very poorly laid out with not many rooms. When you add into that the fact that certain doors have to remain shut to stop the greyhound destroying things (he's a digger and has ripped up bedlinen ect in an attempt to cover himself up), it doesn't leave many options. Most of Asha's stuff is going to my room, but there really isn't space for a litter box in there. The only place it can go is in the lower half of the office (Dad's office) - mum absolutely refuses to countenance a box downstairs or in the master bedroom. Bathroom doors are shut because of the greyhound (he's been known to pee in the bathroom too...he is trained, but has chf and the beginning signs of dementia). That really doesn't leave many options.

I wish I were able to do the 'out of site out of mind' thing. It's just an awkward situation.

Well, there's still residual tension between us, but mum's calmed down and backed off a bit. Scratch post can stay for a bit, crate can stay longer than a month, no deadline on litter box. Huge relief. I can stop panicking now.

does your Mum own the house or rent? If you ard renting you cannot modify the house like you can if you own it. I have modified my home for the cats and here is a few pictures.

We own it, but modifying it as you've done is out of the question. I went through it with mum years ago (once we had to start keeping doors closed) and the answer was a resounding 'no'. I've brought it up at various times since then too. It's just not going to happen.

I'm just so relieved that mum backed down a lot last night. As long as Asha's crate and litter box can stay put for the forseeable future I can relax and stop panicking.

My brother put up shelving all around the living room and put the tunnel into the bedroom for the cats. The door ways were done a few years ago when I married and my husbands car was to heavy and would not climb. I have since managed to get his cat to loose a lot of weight and now she sees the other cats run around the shelves and we have seen her on them a few times also. I was in England back in the 80's and was up by Matlock Bath. The "castle" that we stayed at would have been hard to modify. Have you tried gates on the doors. I would think that you have thought of that your dog probably would run right though the doors.

Even though Mum backed down you can look at ways to start moving Asha's things to another location. That way you are prepared when Mum gets upset again. Sudden changes are hard on any animal. I had to deal with that when I got married as my lab was not allowed in my bedroom anymore.

Thaks for all your replies and patience. As you probably gathered, I was in a total state yesterday after mum first brought things up. Things are much calmer now. Asha has a ton of things in my room now (it's a small double with a single bed, but I've managed to squeeze in a cylindrical cat scratcher/condo and a 2m tall cat tree. She also has an area set up for her on the top of my built in wardrobe (acesssed via the cat tree), though she has yet to fully explore that. I've managed to persuade mum to agree that there will always be a litter box somewhere in the office (though it may end up in dad's half longer term). Asha's giant cushion that she uses as a bed is also destined to be permanent too. I think (and hope) that it's more or less sorted now :cross:

Thanks for bearing with me - I tend to panic every so often over nothing. Being able to vent while you stayed calm at the other side of a screen really helped

I have had to live with several different people who would blow up over the slightest thing. I have tried to look at it from their side and have found that if you step back and wait normally it will fix itself. If we could figure out how to PM each other then you can send me messages when you need someone to vent to. I have a couple of different sites I am on that allow PM. so I can share either my cell no for texting or email. I text as I have a hearing issue.

Columbine said:

I tend to panic every so often over nothing. Being able to vent while you stayed calm at the other side of a screen really helped

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Add me into this category..... I do the same. It is always SO helpful and reviving to be able to vent here in our thread, right??!!! And not to be judged. :nod: I am glad that things are more even keeled at the moment with your mum and your being able to gently convince her to agree on keeping the litter box in the office and Asha's cushion. A little give and take on both sides will help to settle, calm the waters, and make everyone feel that their concerns are valid. Again, I will say, I think you are doing such a marvelous and tremendous job being mediator between your mum and your beloved pets. There are going to be those ups/downs on both side now and again. It just happens. I still have to manage that time and again with my DH trying to keep things running smoothly for him and all of our pets.