Introduction problems

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Columbine

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Aww, thanks feralvr feralvr I try my best. I have my own issues, and mum is majorly stressed at the moment (a ton of official paperwork for various things is due soon). When we're both stressed we wind each other up like you wouldn't believe :rolleyes:

I got to spend some time with my semi feral baby Pushkin today :heart3: She only ever growls, hisses and swipes at mum and dad, but she'll come running to me and follow me like a dog! I posted some pics of her today http://www.thecatsite.com/t/296761/pushkin-my-semi-feral#post_3737733 Just wish there was more I could do for her.
 

kstonya

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If any venting is needed and it does not follow the thread you can message us through the inbox. I do not judge and will offer help where i can.
 

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Wow, how did I miss all those updates? 
 Looks like things are going well-ish! The problem with your mom is unfortunately not really an issue we have much control over. It's not really our place to say much, yanno? I hope she can work it out with you so that there's less tension in the house when things aren't going too well. 
 
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Columbine

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Yeah, family tensions can't be resolved here :lol3: I'm no picnic to live with either ;) Mum's great most of the time, we're just very good at winding each other up sometimes.

The good news is that the animals are definitely getting more relaxed with each other. There was a massive firework display late Sunday night. Leah had already been put to bed, and I had to go and sit with her for the duration. Asha came to 'help' and jumped on top of Leah's crate then hung over the edge and stuck her head down! I'm not sure whether Leah thought it is helpful or not though :lol3:

Asha and Shad are slowly doing better with each other. A lot of the hissing has stopped now. They're still trying to work out what to make of each other though...lots of just sitting close-ish together facing each other. No fluffing or negative vibes as far as I can tell. I think it's all going to be ok :cross: :D
 

feralvr

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I think it's all going to be ok :cross: :D
:lol3: Cautiously optimistic!! :cross: That's me too. I am going to be brave and say I am VERY hopeful and positive that Shad and Asha are well on their way to building a great relationship. You can usually tell within those first couple of weeks. Will the road be smooth sailing forever???? Is it EVER that in any multiple cat household???? OH HOW I WISH. :9: Just like people, cats have their preferences, ideas, good days and bad and their own oddities and quirks, but LOVE conquers all and they (like us :D) work it out. :clap:
 
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Columbine

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Shad's back to being determined to make friends again. Asha was on the windowsill this morning. Shad jumped up next to her - they were only about 3 inches apart. She hissed. He turned his head away but stood his ground. She hissed some more then growled a bit. He didn't move. She jumped down and walked away - not über confident with her tail straight up, but not scared either. Neither cat was fluffed up, and Shad didn't make a sound. I think he wants to be friends regardless of Asha's wishes :lol3:

Quick question: I've sometimes wondered whether Shadow is worried by Asha's presence, given that I am aware of him looking to see if she's about. I'm taking the fact that he's repeatedly approaching her in the manner described above to mean that he's not worried or overly stressed by her. Does that sound right?
 

kstonya

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Shadow might be wondering but I find that when ever you introduce a new addition to the family you will find that the older members need reassurance that you are not replacing your love for them. You need to keep reassurancing all parties that you still love all. This will help. I found that by not playing favorites and always sticking up for the new kid when it might be the new kid that started the fight. If you can determine which kid started the fight reprimand that kid. If you can not then make sure you do not always punish the older kid.
 
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Columbine

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I got the results of the needle aspiration today. The good news is that the lump isn't cancerous and it isn't infected. The vet did tell me what the cell type was, but it went in one ear and out the other :anon: Basically, while the cell type is known the exact diagnosis isn't. To get a full answer Asha would have to go in for a biopsy. As the lump doesn't bother her in the slightest, and isn't growing significantly (it may or may not have got fractionally bigger since I've had her), and given that she's young, the vet's advice was a wait and see approach. I feel happy with that. We know it's nothing serious, and I'm reluctant to send her back for another anesthetic so soon after her last one. If it grows, changes shape or becomes tender I'll have her straight back in for further investigation. It's not that we haven't got the money for treatment (and she's insured anyway) - its just that I don't think further investigation will benefit Asha at this point in time.

Other than that, things are much the same. Asha does like hitting the dogs in the face though :rolleyes: They're being pretty patient about it - after 6 or 7 hits in a row Leah did snap back, but she had no intention of connecting so I let it pass. The dogs have got to be allowed to stand up for themselves, even if Asha is loads smaller :lol3:
 

feralvr

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That is really good news that the lump is not cancerous!! Wait and see approach is a good plan and with you keeping watch on that lump is the best medicine for now! :nod:

Are the dogs coming up to her and getting in her space? Then, I think she has a right to a few bats. ;) OR, is she making the move to them and looking to box them a bit? Then surely your dogs are being saints!!! I would be surprised if it were the latter though. Dogs can be more pushy with the cats, wanting to sniff them, approach them and the cats only way to get them to leave them alone is the use of their one-two punch. :lol3: Surely, though there are the kitties who search out the dogs, but I have not seen many behave in that manner. Your dogs sound very, very sweet and are being very gentle and tolerant with Asha which is not always the case with dogs and cats.

Overall, this whole introduction with Shad and your dogs has gone SOOOOO well. I am happy for all of you. :hugs: :bigthumb:
 
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kstonya

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I have seen my lab stand by one of my cats on the desk and swish his tail and the cats will hit it back. some times just standing next to the cat and they will smell him and it is funny sometimes. It sounds like your dogs are like mine and only run after the cat when the cat runs. The lab acts like he is mauling one of my cats and he never breaks the skin more like he is playing. When he wont let the cat go we distract him and the cat runs off.
 
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Columbine

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The dogs don't run after the cat. Period. Asha approaches the dogs, then hisses and sometimes hits. Always unprovoked. I understand her hissing if the dogs run past her on their way to something else (like bed :lol3: ). However, when Asha crosses the room just to have a hiss (and maybe a swipe) it is not acceptable - just because she's smaller it doesn't give her the right to terrorise them!

Playing at batting their wagging tails is totally different to hitting the in the face (near their eyes, too). In those circumstances the dogs are allowed to defend themselves. They don't chase or anything, but they have to be allowed to tell her to stop hitting them. I know they won't bake contact with her - a snap and a verbal warning is fine by me.
 

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My cats think they are royalty some times. I have had them respond just because they walked by and the dog raised his head. It is almost like kids running by another kid and teasing them. As long as the dog leaves them alone let it be. With some kids when you try and stop the teasing they will just do it more but if you wait it out it could take care of its self. We have a water bottle that we use to correct the kids. When you move to catch the cat then they will scatter. with the water bottle we can squirt them and correct the problem without chasing the kids.
 

feralvr

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The dogs don't run after the cat. Period. Asha approaches the dogs, then hisses and sometimes hits. Always unprovoked..
My goodness, she certainly is making a statement and asserting her place in your home!! :lol3: VERY tolerant doggies. :heart2: :bigthumb:
 
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kstonya

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I have one cat like that. Not only with the dogs but even with me. She will walk up and lay down on my desk and force her way on to my lap. I look at my husband and all he says is she's a princess! As she was my husbands cat she joined my 5 cats and taken over. I lost one cat about a year ago so we are down to 5 with 2 dogs so I understand the dog and cat introduction and the take over attitude.
 
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Columbine

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Is this progress?

I've just been informed that Asha has been repeatedly jumping onto the table while Shadow's eating his wet food and stealing his kibble :jaw: Every time she was moved she got straight back up! And this from my perfect little girl who refuses all kibble (even when she was starving before i caught her) and only likes her perfectly balanced, species appropriate diet of high meat-grain free - very low carb canned and freeze dried raw food. I don't know what to think! :lol3:

I should point out that Shad carried on eating unconcernedly while all this was going on.
 
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kstonya

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 I would say the two have decided to be friends. I have Courage one of my cats that if I do not pick up our Chi dog's food and she leaves the bowl the cat will move in and empty the bowl if I do not catch him.

Congratulations on the union of your family

 
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Columbine

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The first version of events I got from Dad. Mum says that Shadow was bothered by Asha's antics. She wasn't pushing him away or anything, but he was confused and unsettled by her. :sigh:
 

kstonya

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He has accepted Asha. I have the same thing with my chi dog. The cats will wait by her bowl and if she leaves anything in the bowl they especially Courage will start eating it. We have to pick it up or the cats will empty her bowl. We feed the dogs on the floor and I feed the cats at different places. Pepper on the shelf in the living room and Princess on the desk by our computers and the other 3 Dusty, Smokey and Courage in our bedroom on the dresser and a shelf there. Princess is the last addition to the family and Pepper was the one just before I got married. He had been locked in a dresser drawer and left for several days in a hot house and no food or water. The Cats will eat out of Buddy's bowl only if he is outside and I have forgot to pit his bowl up. If he is inside if they come near his bowl He will pop his head up and stare down the cat. Buddy will lay on the floor and not move at times so I have to make him get up or move so I can get our chairs around him. He trusts that we will not hurt him and so I have to physically move him at times. When he comes in he normally will run into the living room and if anyone runs he will give chase. but if they don't run he will check them out to make sure they belong. We had watched him stand by the desk and a cat will be on the desk and will reach out and touch him where every the can some times if he is swinging his tail in the cats face they will bat at it. Some times when he gets clawed by the cat he will just stand there and they will keep touching him and he just stands there and takes it. Buddy will pounce on Courage and play with him as long as he will allow it. As the difference in weights are about 10 times After a few minutes I will see if I can distract Buddy so Courage can escape. Buddy has never broken any skin and gets back just as much as he gives. Our cats never go outside and we have a dog run through a basement window that allows the dogs when out in the yard to get in the entryway to the house. All but courage and Princess I have either rescued from the street ( buddy), or have gotten from a client passing and no one wanted the clients kids.
 

feralvr

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This IS great, huge progress!!! I think I would be a bit bothered and unsettled too if my hubby came over to my dinner plate and was trying to steal food. :lol3: :lol2: IF Shad was more than unsettled, your mum/dad would have known. Cat language is sometimes misread by us humans too. ;) Things couldn't be going any better!! Asha is cracking me up - she is quite the character. :bigthumb: :rub: :heart2:
 
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