Introducing petting to an adult feral cat and trying to figure out how to get her to eat in front of

I am new to feral cats.  I just brought a a 4 and a half year old feral cat indoors for the winter. I didn't know her at all.  I found her under my porch basically starving to death.  I trapped her and brought her to a vet to find she was neutered and not microchipped.  Her name is Baby Girl.  It took her 5 days to eat but she took right away to the litter box. I almost let her back out for not eating indoors.  Then she started to eat.  She eats very well. My problem is this she seems to not be aggressive and just hides.  She will not eat, go to the bathroom or walk around the room when I am in it.  She has been inside for 3 months now!  She does sit by a window but will hop down and hide if I enter the room.  I can walk up to one foot of her in any of her many hiding places she found.  She is only in one room.  I believe she was getting content living like this only going out at night. She is only in one room.  So yesterday, I took all of her hiding places away.  I left one fake hiding space which is at the bottom of a book case and not deep and is wide open.  She liked squishy tight places to hide or deep corners buffered by furniture.  So yesterday she was quite confused and opted for the only place to somewhat hide the bottom open book case.  I decided to step things up to integrate her to domesticity.  I bought a Swiffer duster (it goes up to 3 feet).  With her cornered and not knowing anywhere else to go I decided to take advantage and start to stroke her with the Swiffer.  She first hissed as it approached but then let me do it.  I don't know if anyone ever touched or petted her ever.  I think she didn't hate it but it still made her tense.  I talked meowed and blinked slowly while doing it.  I did this again this morning when I found her in the open bookcase.  Today she has spent the whole day on the window table.  I would like to do the Swiffer petting at least once or more a day.  I am wondering if she will go back to the bookcase though.  She is not trapped on the window table for me to do the Swiffer there.  I will let everyone know if this ends up working.

Any hints how I can get her to eat in front of me or walk around?  I am hoping the lack of hiding spaces will force her to walk around me.  I truly believe she would have stayed hiding forever and nocturnally moving around if I did not take her hiding spaces away.  Wish me luck everyone and if anyone has any suggestions for the eating in front of me please let me know.

First of all, thank you!  She obviously needed you.  I would not fuss too much about her for now.  It would appear she's been through a really tough time and she probably needs lots of time to re-adjust.  The fact that she took to the litter box tells me she is a stray, not truely feral.  Feral cats are not socialized at all and if she were truely feral, she would not have taken to being inside at all.

Her hiding tells me she may have been abused by humans - or just got used to not being around them.  She may be the kind of cat who is shy around humans.  The Swiffer is a good idea - gets her used to being touched.  Don't push it though.  If she seems upset or frightened by it, stop.

Do allow her one or two hiding spots, too.  You can sit nearby when she is in them and read outloud to her.  Gently tell her a story and allow her to get used to your voice and your presence.

As for the eating - cats feel very vulnerable when eating and eating in front of your will most likely be the last thing she does.  She will need to be completely comfortable with you - and that may take a lot of time.  I know you understand the need for patience but I will wager it is going to take a lot more time than you mgiht have expected.

Bless you for taking on this challenge.  She will come around but the timing depends on her.  Gentleness and patience is what she needs.  Allowing her to proceed at her own pace is key.

Thanks Ondine,  It just hasn't been easy walking around scaring BabyGirl for the past 3 months.  Especially since I have had cats in the past and it has always been such a loving relationship I had with my past cats. 

What I do know about Baby Girl's past is that my neighbor spotted her like a year ago and had been feeding her for almost a year, But the feeding wasn't consistent and mostly my neighbor fed scraps from peelings to squirrels etc.  So she wasn't out to feed a cat.   I had not known Baby Girl was living under my porch until I saw her paw prints in the snow.  So I know she has been feral for at least a year.  My neighbor's husband was not into taking the cat in and so I ended up taking a cat in that I didn't even know.  

The cats first poop was the size of rabbit poop with sticks (twigs) in it.  No wonder it took 5 days to poop or eat!  My neighbor and I are both feeding her wet cat food in my house.. I am basically socializing her the best I can.  I hate seeing her so scared.  I eat every meal I can in front of her.  I sit within two feet of her and talk meow slow blink and sing song her name. She slow blinks back at me.  I do this several times a day.  She puts her head out of hiding places to watch me. 

 Baby Girl has taken to my removing the hiding places today and has been in plain view sitting on the table under the window with the soft blanket.  I go up to her within 2 feet and do the talking meowing and eye blinking.  She seems ok with the change.  I don't want to Swiffer her in the window seat.  I want her to feel safe there.  I am hoping she goes back to the bookcase to sleep as that is where she has some surrounding to feel safe to sleep.  Hoping to Swiffer her there again tomorrow morning.  I will slow down if I see this is too much change too fast.  I read that I introduced her to food wrong by leaving bowls of food out all the time while I am not in the room.  I would rather not play with her food and withhold it from her.  It took 5 days just to get her to eat without me in the room.  I am just doing the petting thing right now and was wondering how in the future to do the food eating in front of me thing.  She is eating a can and a half of wet food a day.  And some chicken and turkey scraps from time to time.

I had no clue that feral cats would be so hard to feed.  Especially one that seemed to be on the verge of starving.  I had seen so many videos that showed the way to get a feral near you is to hold food towards them.  BabyGirl will just run and hide and would rather starve than get that close to me, She also will not play with toys.  Though she has started to bite at a catnip mouse at night recently. She has also started scratching on a scratch mat and unfortunately scratching my rug too.  Fortunately it is an old rug I have been wanting to lift and so I don't care.  It sounds like she is very comfortable in the room at night without me in it.

 I never thought of the possibility she was abused and not a true feral. Thank you for pointing that out to me.  I move around slowly and avoid a lot of direct eye contact with her and I blink slowly and it seems to make her calm.   She doesn't seem aggressive at all. But she does hiss if I get too close.

Make sure you are sitting down on the floor at her level when you try to interact with her.  Cats are afraid when you stand or sit above them and loom down on them.  Get on the floor and offer some really yummy treats.  You can use plain cooked chicken, canned salmon, canned tuna or even store bought treats if she likes them.  When you come to see her, offer a piece of the chicken.  Toss it gently in her direction.  She may not eat it right away, but keep at it.  When you leave the room/area leave another piece.  She will associate you with something yummy.  do this every day for awhile.  See if you can find something she really likes that will allow her to come closer.  The goal is not to pet her, just have her come closer.

Talk to her over and over.  Tell her about your day, tell her what you are doing around the house.  Tell her she is safe and she will care for her.

Have you tried to engage with her with a laser pointer or even a plain shoe string?  What about a few toy mice or catnip toys?  My former ferals loved a scratchy mat with catnip sprinkled or even an old towel with catnip.

When she is looking outside, do you have any bird feeders for her to watch?  That might interest her.

I wouldn't worry about her eating in front of you.  That may take a long time.  The key is that you want her to trust you and know that you will keep her safe.  Keep your gaze down when speaking to her.

Thank you so much for rescuing her and bringing her into your home.  You will be her angel.  I brought a feral/stray male into my home almost 2 years ago.  He lived in a spare bedroom for one solid year.  I had other pets so it took a lot of work.  He is now fully integrated into our home.  He did not want to eat in front of me for months and hid often.  He now is still scared of loud noises ( the sweeper makes him hid for the entire day), lawnmower and snow blowers too.  I don't think he will ever get used to them. 

Keep working and slowly she will come around.  The key is to work daily with her and not just let her be.  Just keep trying at a slow pace.

Thanks Shadows Rescue, 

I think Baby Girl is loving the lack of hiding spaces and sitting high up on the table under the window.  Unfortunately we are on the second floor so no chance of putting a bird feeder outside her window.  She is enjoying the sunshine!  We had a great break thru today. She ate 3 bites of food after I walked up to her and put her bowl of food directly under her nose.   She won't go near a spoon and jumps off her window seat and will hide.  But I couldn't hold the bowl I had to walk all the way across the room and she watched me while she took the 3 bites!  I averted my eyes and blinked and stayed low to the ground like you suggested!  It worked!!!!  Thank you so much!

Also, prior to this morning's incredible break thru eating in front of me, I decided to walk in on her in her room at 2am this morning.  I heard her scratching so I walked in calmly.  BabyGirl freaked out and ran to her hiding place that is not much of a hiding place anymore. I calmly walked up to her and she ran off and hid in a corner and started shaking and hyperventilating. I think she probably was an abused cat that got hurt when she scratched things.  I just calmly walked away and said in a sweet voice you are a sweet baby girl sleep well.  So she probably is not a true feral but an abused cat that was most likely thrown out for scratching things up. 

I am so glad I found this site.  I was so confused by her behavior.  I had thought she was completely feral, but now I am thinking she was just abused. 

I, was also lucky to have her go to her hiding spot today and I did the Swiffer she hissed as it came at her but then stopped right away and let me struck her while I said her name and talked calmly.  She is still tense with the stroking but then I started hearing the loudest of purrs ever!  I must have stroked her for a good ten minutes!  I think I may be finally breaking thru and it is all because of the help from you and others.  I am so grateful for everyone's help. 

I would suggest some feliway plug ins.  Have one in the room she sleeps as well as the main area she hangs out.  You could also try the spray if there isn't an outlet available.

Also look into Composure liquid Max.  It is a calming supplement.  I think Baby Girl would really benefit from it.  It might help to calm her especially since she was shaking.  Always tell her she is safe and that you will never ever hurt her.  Give her some scratching posts or other scratchers too. 

You can find both the composure and feliways on Amazon for decent prices. 

The poor dear.  It just breaks my heart to know what she might have been through before you came into her life.  Hopefully she will no longer live in fear.

Hi Ondine,

Thank you so much for your advice.  I think you are right that Baby Girl is an abused cat and not a true feral. I walked in on her private time this morning in her room at 2am.  I had never walked in on her during her time before.  I heard her scratching and I walked in the room.  BabyGirl completely freaked out and ran to her not so great hide out. I calmly walked to that hide out and she jumped out and ran to a corner of the room and started shaking and hyperventilating!  I told her in the sweetest voice you are a sweet baby girl and sleep well and I left.  I think someone must have abused her for scratching things up and threw her out. But though last night was sad,  I had big break thrus today!  She ate three bites of food in front me (though I did have to sit all the way across the room for her to do so) and she stared at me the whole time and I blinked my eyes and did not stare back at her.  Also, I had some real success with the Swiffer.  Baby Girl  hissed once  when I approached her but then let me pet her with it easily and she purred loudly!  My first purr!  Thank you so much.  I am talking very calmly and always talking to her.  She seems very much more relaxed if I am talking softly and sweetly.  I am trying always to move slowly around her.  Thanks so much, I believe your observation and advice have helped me make these break thrus!

Well done to you and Baby Girl.

I've been following this thread, but don't have the experience that ShadowsRescue and Ondine have so haven't contributed.

It sounds like you're making real progress with her. She's lucky to have found you

When Baby Girl first moved into her room,  I put wet outdoor leaves and dirt in a flower pot and placed them in her room.  It seemed to calm her down. She was living under my porch so I took the leaves and dirt from there.  I may try the things you suggested.  I really do hate to see her frightened.  Thanks for all your incredible wise and experienced advice.  Being a mom to a stray feral is not something many know about or know how to help me with.  So very glad to have found this site.  Thanks for helping your kitties too. I had no idea how many cats were wandering around homeless. 

Thanks Columbine,  I really feel lucky to have found this site.

JoanneS said:

 
When Baby Girl first moved into her room,  I put wet outdoor leaves and dirt in a flower pot and placed them in her room.  It seemed to calm her down. She was living under my porch so I took the leaves and dirt from there.  I may try the things you suggested.  I really do hate to see her frightened.  Thanks for all your incredible wise and experienced advice.  Being a mom to a stray feral is not something many know about or know how to help me with.  So very glad to have found this site.  Thanks for helping your kitties too. I had no idea how many cats were wandering around homeless. 

Click to expand...

That is brilliant!  They probably smell familiar, so she will calm down.  I'll have to remember that!

Columbine said:

Well done to you and Baby Girl.

I've been following this thread, but don't have the experience that ShadowsRescue and Ondine have so haven't contributed.

It sounds like you're making real progress with her. She's lucky to have found you

Click to expand...

Columbine:  We were all newbies at some point.  Your support is just as important as our advice.  That's what I like about TSC. 

Thanks Ondine

Before placing BabyGirl in her room from being trapped I placed dollar store shower curtains all over the rug in the room.  I wasn't sure if she would use a covered litter box.  I used the bottom saucer of a large plastic flower pot and filled it with cat litter.  I wasn't sure she would step into a covered litter box. There is little to no step to a flower pot saucer.  Two days into her using the saucer as her litter box, I put the used litter in the new box minus the poop.  So she could smell herself in the new covered litter box.  I never had an issue with her going anywhere but the litter catchers I placed out.  So I guess she may have been trained prior.  It wasn't until day 2 when I noticed how scared she was that I went outside and got the dirt in a flower pot and brought in the wet leaves and threw them around on top of the shower curtained floor. I think she felt better smelling something more familiar.  I left the leaves out for 3 weeks. However, I took the flower pot of dirt away after only a week. I was scared she was feral and would want to go to the bathroom in it.  I wanted her to keep using the litter box. She acclimated quite quickly to being indoors.  I realized quickly  that she was not much scared of the room and that it was just me she was frightened of. 

Like ShadowsRescue said, make sure all your interacts with her at at her level - or even lower, so she feels safe.  You can also try to present your fist to her and see what she does.  It will look like a cat asking for a head bump and she may allow you to come close.  Once she allows the fist near, you can attempt to pet her.

I would use the Swiffer for awhile longer, though.  She obviously wants contact and this is a good intro.

Keep in mind she may always be skiddish.  She may be a cat who isn't that comfortable with people to begin with and her experiences may have reinforced that.  You are wonderful to take on this challenge!

You're making great progress (I know it seems slow -but you two ARE progressing!!!And feral or abused stray -both will take a decent amount of time to learn to really trust.) And you're getting great advice

I'll offer a little more. Definitely leave her at least one "safe place" that feels like she can den/hide. It sounds like she might need to have one like that added back into the room. You don't want her to be able to avoid you too much -but she needs a "home base" to feel safe & secure in. A cat carrier with front door removed is perfect, as is a small box - you can even turn it on its side so it has a "roof." It seems like it would make her more distant, but it won't still make Her feel more safe.

It's great you go in & eat with her, & so's the low singing & talking! I make a point of always letting ferals I'm socializing know im coming into their room so they're never startled by me (another way to build trust). Every time I enter the room, before I come in, I knock very softly, & doa little sing-song "I'm coming in to see my kitty" type song, in a soft, high, feminine sing-song. I also usually bring treats (whatever you find her food hot button is)...like soft/canned food, cooked chicken breast, Gerbers chicken baby food stage 2, etc. I've even used (not continuously bc of high "crappy food factor") things like ham and (preferably as high quality as possible) hot dogs as they're high smell -which often generates interest when other foods don't. I start out offering the yummies in a bowl placed near a foot or so away from me, in clear view of her. (I also often VERY slightly warm things to enhance scent). Once Theyll explore eating that way, I move bowl closer to me over time, & then start to offer from a very long-handled spoon (like iced tea spoon or longer). Don't just leave the treats -they should always come ONLY when you're there so she associates you with especially yummy stuff!!!! That way the kitty begins to associate me with yummy good treats coming in & actually starts to anticipate my arrival with excitement!

I also stay -as suggested - very low, either sitting or lying at all times. And I spend as much time as humanly possible with them. Because generally that's one of the biggest factors -time & familiarity.

I'd also provide some toys-catnip & others. I always provide 1 or 2 relatively small (a little smaller than her) stuffed animals to cuddle with & even play with. I always put one in the "den"--along with a soft bunch of blankets, so she has a cuddly place to go & something to snuggle with. Obviously my theory in socializing is more to make her new home as comfy and snuggly (without offering real hiding places) as possible so that she's happy -vs as some do, which is stripping a room to force interaction. I do strip away 99.9% of the hiding places (take beds off frames, block off underneath furniture, etc) so there is a certain amount of forced interaction -but I like them to have a soft safe place too with a cuddly buddy if there's no litter mate (even though she's older).

Does she have a scratching post? Or a scratching tree? Or even a "kitty condo" which often includes a scratching post, hanging toys & places to sleep, both inside & "on." We picked one up at Walmart (its modular and made by Kitty City)....and every feral I've socialized has loved loved loved it!

I also highly recommend leaving a radio or TV on almost 24/7 if at all possible. Softly, & turned to something gentle sounding - radio-wise I like public radio as its a combo of soft classical & people talking. TV-wise I use something like HGTV so that, again, it's quiet with lots of people talking. I've found this (radio/TV) is a BIG plus since it helps desensitize them to sound period, especially voices. And it also muffles regular house noises, which you may not realize are happening (like doors opening, toilets flushing, showers coming on, microwaves, TVs coming on suddenly, etc)...since she can't SEE any of that happening & therefore be warned, it's all very startling & scary sounding. A radio/tv in her room muffles that & reduces startling.

Sorry for rambling -I'm trying to take my mind off an injured feral in our little TNR colony! But sounds like you're doing a great job - just thought a few of my tips might help (they're certainly tried & true! [emoji]128522[/emoji]

So know, even when you get discouraged, you've saved a life -and you'll eventually have the most amazing lifelong friend you can imagine! Granted, every feral/stray is different....socializes at different rates and to different degrees....and has different personalities (just like people!!). Every feral/stray I've socialized over the years has ended up becoming a VERY amazingly thankful companion for their adopter...some may never be thrilled to be picked up while one even rides around on his Mommy's shoulders....so you never know! The last one -"Flick"- we ended up keeping - and she was 100% feral & outside for over a year, and yet ended up being the world's most amazing lapcat who chirps & comes running every time she hears her name! She's the most loving, interactive cat I've ever had (& I've had lots!) ---even loves every stranger who comes in the door. So you just never know!!!! Keep us posted -I've got faith!!!!!!

(For encouragement as to what can happen - here's Flick -from total feral to cuddled on my lap last night.... ...and"posing" on her favorite blanket...

Thanks Kitty Chick,

Things are moving quickly now.  I stroke her three times a day with a Swiffer.  She loves it!  She no longer hides in the semi hiding space in the bottom shelf of the bookcase. She stays on the window table snuggled in a fleece blanket. She is not startled at all if I go in and out of her room.  She will even be sleeping and continue to sleep or stay in a relaxed lounging position. I think the massaging has helped tremendously. She will only let me stroke her with the Swiffer on the window table and even turns her belly slightly towards me to be stroked.  She is completely soothed by my voice and the 3 massages a day.  She has even fallen asleep during the stroking.

Today was big.  She ate a whole bowl of food in front of me.  I also almost got her to eat from a spoon but she got spooked and ran and hid in the blanket filled bottom of the book shelf. She must have been an abused cat like the others figured out here on this site. Someone must have hit her or threw things at her. She does not like anything going towards her.  I can not throw food at her or she will hide and not come out for a whole day.

But the good news is she is not scared of me anymore.  I get up to one inch of her now. I place food in a bowl right under her nose. She feels safe on her window table. But she still does not walk around the room when I am in it.  I do not believe she will ever walk up to me.  Like everything else so far, I have had to always make the first move to bring us closer. I am sure I will be asking all of you all the tricks you have for making her feel comfortable to walk around me later. For now, I don't want to play with the food bowl to bring her closer.  As it was the food bowl and bringing it directly to her that has made her trust me to allow me to Swiffer her and to take her hiding places away. Though eventually if I get her really comfortable with all this new stuff I just changed I may be willing to try the food to coax her towards me. I am just going to stay with the Swiffer massages for now.

  I have gotten really far and I don't want her to distrust me and go backwards. She has been closing her eyes a lot when I Swiffer her and so I started to pet her with one hand on her back while I Swiffer the head and front of her.  I don't know if she knows it is my hand.  I haven't tried to pet her with her eyes open yet.  I am moving my hand up on the Swiffer handle as well.  I don't believe she is afraid of my hand as I get very close to her with my hand with the feeding bowl.  But touching her might trigger her especially if someone hit her before.  So I am cautious as I don't want to scare her nor do I want to be bit or scratched.  I am so happy she is purring so loudly and It is so heartwarming to see her relaxed and peaceful. 

Her scratching isn't a problem. At least not for me. She likes to scratch the floor only.  Not a tree.  I have a welcome mat made out of natural fibers that she loves to scratch.  I have rubbed catnip on it and placed catnip toys on it. She mostly uses the mat. The rug in her room has been on my list of things to remove for years.  As there is hardwood under the rug and I so dislike rugs.  But it is to her benefit to have it so it is more than ok if she needs it to scratch.  Though, I think she is primarily only using the welcome mat. I can't know for sure as she only scratches when I am not in the room.  But the mat is looking like it is the main thing she scratches.  There is only 3 or 4 pulls out of my actual rug and that could just be from her nails while walking and not necessarily from scratching.  It took her a good month and a half before she started to scratch. 

I really love all the support I am getting here.  I love reading, hearing and seeing pictures of everyone's kittys. Funny you mention I should keep the faith.  I actually originally called BabyGirl  the name Faith to remind me to remember to keep the faith.  However, the first poop she had at my house was five days after her arrival and she had pooped out tree twigs.  And I just looked at her and just wanted to cry and said awww baby and it was the first time her eyes looked not scared and her eyes softened.  So she chose her name.  And it does seem like the name relaxes her. I tried other names but every time I say Baby she relaxes.

I am a newbie with ferals and strays, but I have always had cats since my childhood and I do believe that cats can feel our emotions without a doubt.   I see from this site that all of you have given so much love to the neglected kittys and often times to several at a time.  I am in awe of all you wonderful cat lovers and happy so many other feral and strays have loving homes as well.  I am sincerely grateful for all of the helpful support and mentorship.  Thanks for all of your wise caring and experienced help.

What wonderful wonderful news!! BabyGirl has obviously made enormous progress in the trust department even in the past day --- and I love that you let her choose her name. So sweet!!!

I have to say -had you told me you were going to approach her with a Swiffer, I would have gently told you that's a nutty thing to try --particularly with a a possibly abused cat, as 99.999 times out a 100 been far more scared of something like a Swiffer approaching them than your hand (although ferals occasionaly do respond to starting the touching with an inanimate object). I've had a lot of experience with abuse cases (I used to work at 2 Humane Societies) and neither abused cats or dogs will usually do anything but cower when approached with something like that. So maybe this is where your inexperience worked to your advantage!!! "Not knowing what you don't know" may have been the best thing in the world! BabyGirl was obviously meant for you and you for her!!! This made my night

Wonderful news!  You patience and kindness has made all the difference.  The neat thing is, her personality will really start coming out now.  So excited to see her bloom!

What a lovely, encouraging thread and you are a lovely person.
To progress from petting Bay with a Swifter to petting her more closely, may I suggest touching her with a toy feather (feather at the end of a wand) and then progress to a brush (for cats).