14 month old cat still hiding from me and can't touch her after 7 weeks. :(

jan berry

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Cat Derby sounds familiar and like you had a really fun night.  It's so much fun to watch them run and see the strength in their bodies.  I too feel like I'm getting to know your fur baby.  She sounds like she's really coming out of her shell!  I hope she didn't go over the back of the chai and your head!  That would make you wonder what she  was chaising

I'm with you, on the spell check. my problem is all of a sudden it will be back in the middle of the sentence typing.  Makes no sense and the spell checker rewrites the words sometimes.  Fortunately, most people know and put together what you want to say.

These little babies are so much fun and company when they come out of theirshell and spend time with your.  It sounds like things are really coming together for y'all (southern for both of you, you all, etc.).  l'm so happy for you that things are looking up!

Jan
 
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artyjill

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Well its all gone wrong tonight with Daisy, I spent sometime setting up the Cats Me-ow its the big yellow circle  with a mouse running round it. She didn't come into the living room till about 8 so when l saw her coming l started it going. She jumped up  into the air then rang as fast as she could into the bedroom and thats the last l saw her. She looked terrfied at me. I thought she would love it,

If she would sit by the side of me it would make me feel as if its going the right way. Did you go up and and down,

        Jill
 

jan berry

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Most definitely goes up and down.  Even when I've found something they like, all of a sudden it's in a corner like dust.  Kind of like children.  She sounds a lot like my Sasha that I lost Christmas.  She should have been named fraidy cat.  She loved 'cat tv' = chasing kritters of all types on the other side of the window.  Let an ant look at her crosseyed and she ran under the bed.  Never met a friendly face that didn't send her running for cover.

I feel your pain.  I lost Sasha on Christmas Eve, after a year and half of surgery, recurring illness and my 13 yo compaanion who had a 20 word  vocabulary. Watched tv with me, laid on my shoulder, called me mama, said out, now, right now, yes, yes I did, No, and other things when they suited her. is gone.  The siamese that I adopted, got away from me at the vet on the 20th and hasn't veen found yet.  She was just starting to warm up a little to me.  It's not easy these days.  The boys don't understand but they're getting me thru.

If I were in your position, I would take a deep breath and look at what I have and where Daisy and I are making progress.  Don't bring in any more new toys, unless they are very similar to something she is playing with.  VERY similar.  She's doing well with the windows, put a small table in front of the window so that they window sill is wider if you want to enhance her play space or get a cat tree and put it by the window.  She would probably LOVE a cat tree by the window but you're going to have to put it by a window that will be open at various times during the day.  These give her a space that is hers and make her feel like she's part of the family.

To start petting her, if the sofa is in front of where's she's in the window, keep giving her the treats by reaching in at the window sill level and laying them closer and closer to her.  You should see her becoming more confident of you laying them there.  DON'T try to hand feed her.  When she is acting like you're not there when you lay them down, the just in a smooth move reach over and scratch her CHEEK for just a few seconds.  Not long.  

If she accepts this, then she's going to let you scratch her cheeks.  This is the area that they receive the most comfort.  It also puts her scent on you, so that if you start to give her a few more treats or food, it should continue smoothly.  I get excited and move too quickly.  Try to space it out with the commercials on tv maybe so she doesn't get spooked.  She sounds so much like Sasha and she would have let me do this, if I didn't RUSH her.  Sit where she can see you, move slow, from her eye level or lower, once you scratch her cheek, then she'll let you know whether or not she's going to let you pet her back where she can't see what you're doing.  The cheeck will probably take 3 or 4 days.  Then mover to scratching between her ears another 4 or 5 days to reach a comfort level of scratching her cheeck AND her head, then down her back is a natural progression.  Sorry it takes a while, you'll see what she may move on to.

If she is truly like Sasha, and I hate to tell you to buy a toy, the only thing she liked and it's a common favorite because it's packed with catnip and they can carry it around, hide it, play like a ball, is the little mice that come 3, 6 or 9 to a pack and every cat I've had loves them.

Do you want me to describe how to pick her up like the vet does in a proper hold so you can hold her and make her let you hold her.  I've been working on this with my feral, Riley, and we're up to where he is wanting to be held some with Darci lost.  But instead of a brawl, I can walk around with him and he lets me know when to put him down without a war.  This is a street cat that joined the house on his own 2 months ago.  If you look under ferel cats, you'll see, Riley - a success story, this site of how he joined the house.  

Sweet dreams.
 
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artyjill

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Have been ill for ten days so haven't been on to say  about  Daisys news.

I still haven't  picked her up but she loves me now. She sits on my sofa talking to me and she is not sleeping so much in the day so slowly getting back to a  normal day .She is using her scratching post and l haven't showed her how to use it but what is bringing her around is the Cats Me-ow l got her, she is mad on it and l kept it in front of me so she was at my feet. It seems she is so happy with it that she is trying other stuff, goes in her strawberry bed now. When she is looking at me and now can  look eye to eye with no fear from her it brings tears in my eyes. She likes hiding in fun now and jumps out and runs round and is rolling and laying showing her tummy and she is so much happier and she is a different cat to what she was eleven weeks ago. She is eating so well that she is twice the size she was when l got her.

I am taking everything at her pace and l know it won't be long before she will let me stroke her and pick her up.

If anyone else got has a cat thats not been socalizd look back at my posts to see how she was so scared that if l moved my hand she used to hide. Also try the Cats me-ow, it will take there mind of things that scare them.

Jill x
 
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artyjill

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Jan, as can't move to well and can't get low down so l waited till she got onto the window sill and slowly put my fingers through the lats and she let me touch her on the head. Last night she was to busy playing with her large toys, she won't play with the small ones. When l got her l bought the track that you can put in different shapes and a ball goes inside and lights up when its moving. When l tried it l used a stick, never thought Daisy would use it as the holes to put a paw in is very small but one night she woke me up with this odd noise and it was her going mad with it.

Just looked at my early post and what a difference it is to now.
 
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jan berry

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Sorry I haven't been on the site in the last few weeks. Things have been hectic and I've been out of town. It sounds like you're making great progress. Daisy showing you her tummy is a sign of complete trust and the eye contact is wonderful.

Some kitties are just not as touchy-feely so it sounds like that is what you are going to be building and that you're making a very loving bond and starting to share with each other. She seems to be coming along in understanding you and sharing her world with you.

In looking back at some earlier parts of your posts, a thought I had about getting more time with her might be to close the bedroom door during the day so that she can't hide in there and would be spending her time with you. Since cats are night creatures, unless you push her to change her sleeping habits a bit this way being where the 'action is' she will continue with waking you more at night.

I'm having a bit of the same issue with my new boys and no way to counter it since I'm at work all day. One of my boys is hunting and has brought in 2 baby bunnies, a baby bird and several other creatures. He's a feral that the other boy brought home to dinner and he wanted to stay. He's really sweet and now has a bell, the rabbit has been raising her young in the yard for several years - broke my heart. :( I'm in the city. They let me sleep better last night. He didn't catch anything, I think he wore himself out with the bell on as it worned the creatures and he couldn't get them. :) he just got tired.

I'm so very happy things are going well with you and your baby girl. It sounds like it won't be long before you'll have her where you want her. It's such a shame that the breeder didn't socialize the kittens and left them wild. They really should have given you a chance to have sat down and met her before you left with her. It would have been so obvious, but they must have been very aware of what they were doing. Just in it for the money. You're being a great cat guardian.
 
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artyjill

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.HI,

well the sun is out here in the UK Daisy is laying on my bed with he sun on her. My son has just been but he didn't see her but she doesn't see her a lot of people and even my carer says l have a ghost cat as she keeps out of the way. But she comes through in the afternoon to me so l am happy. Just have to get her to come and sit with me and let me stroke her and groom her.

She is still playing with her big me- ow every night, she loves it. Its the only time she goes in her strawberry bed and the box on her tree.When there stay in cats they adapt using different things to hide behind and to pounce out of .

I sometimes get a bit down  and think i have had her ages but then l realize its just twenty weeks and it just seems ages to me. I am glad l kept notes from the first day l got her as when l read it ,a lot has happened.

I will try and shut the door Will have to be quick because as soon as move she shoots back in ,will also shut the bathroom door as she shoots in there when she can't get in the bedroom.

Hope your boy hasn't brought anymore presents for you. I had a black cat when l was young who used to line them up on the front door porch for my mum.

  Jill  xxx
 

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Sounds great that you're grooming her. I thought that would be a way out but it sounds like she's doing well just keeping odd hours and still being a diva.

I put a collar couple of days ago on my boy and it stopped him for a day. It has had a very odd affect on him. He being feral and deciding to become a house cat on his own it's been interesting to see how reacts to me. So far I pick him up every day and have successfully taught him to jump down without going into a frenzy of panicked legs and claws after about 2 mos in early March. Evidently he heard the old joke about being dressed up and I'm potent, and has related this to himself and other cats he's seen in the past with collars. The 2nd day with the collar, I was SHOCKED when he curled up in my arms when I picked him up and proceeded to purr, beg to be scratched and hide his face in my elbow and didn't want down, unbelievable!! He later saw the other boy sitting on my legs which normally causes a jealous issue I'm working with. He sat politely in another spot,then went and started licking the other boy who looked at him snarky. Riley nipped his ear lightly and went back to grooming the other boy. The other boy so used to being picked on ran off to avoid a tiff.

So I ask? Does she have a collar?? But then I got this one at my vet maybe it's magical and I should send you one. It just doesn't seem to save baby birds as I rescued another at 6 this am. Thankfully it could fly

Jan
 
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artyjill

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I am not  grooming her as she isn't coming close to me, if l walk close to her she runs, some days more than others Today she woke early and started playing with her cat me-ow then it stopped so walked to it to see what was wrong and after two steps she had run, when she got to the bedroom she looked around at me with a look like she didn't know me.

I was wondering about a collar  but have bad memories of them as years ago l had a re tiger cat and had got her a coll or, i the early hour there was a noise like screaming and l found her behind a chair and the collar had twisted behind her teeth and besides the noise she was frothing at the mouth. I was lucky then as a good friend worked at a vet so she came round and it took ages to get it of so its put me of collars.

I realized yesterday that l had got her age wrong as she is 1 on june 23rd  and l have had her 10  weeks, my maths was never good lol. But she is still young enough to change.

Jill xxx
 
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artyjill

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I forgot to tell you that l used to put a wind chime up to save the birds when i had an outdoor cat. I t did the trick and it used  to save a lot,

 Jill
 

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I've had cats that have taken *years* to warm up to us. We've had cats that have come to us in a variety of ways - found on street, someone couldn't keep it and we got it, etc. Sara was not very social for a very long time (I got her from someone at the age of 4). Very skittish and what-not. And in the last couple years (she's 13 now) she just started warming up to us. Cats have such different personalities and have experienced the gamut of them. However, our cats always warmed up to us eventually. Not sure why some take longer than others, I guess their earlier life situation has a lot to do with it. 

Cats also seem to have issues with people of certain ages (ie kids), genders (men), etc. Lucky is about the most social cat I've ever had, but he really doesn't like men (except my brother, who is also a cat person). He freaks out like you wouldn't believe when a guy comes in the house. Have had him most of his 16 years and he's been absolutely loved. But for some reason...
 
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Thanks for the answer, l get days when i want her to just do one thing like sitting by me feet then days were l  just talk to her and let her do what she wants and there's days when Daisy looks at me as though l am a stranger.

One big thing l would like to stop is breeders like the one l got Daisy from that leave them all in a cattery down at the bottom of the garden and take a lot of money for a cat thats never met anyone else. Mine had just got a big house so l should think cat wasn't allowed in.

Daisy could  have been a happy cat just with someone just socializen her.

Did you do anything that helped the cats or do they just change at there pace,

Jill xx
 

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We always just let them come around at their own paces. Lucky warmed up immediately to us, which was amazing considering the situation under which we got him (someone did something really, really horrible to him). He was really small though, definitely less than 6 months. He wasn't able to walk for several days without pain so I carried him around on a pillow when he had to eat or use the box. So, we really bonded I think during that time.

Sara on the other hand, not sure what her first four years were like. She was a bit of a neurotic kitty when we got her, pulling out her own hair and what-not. Didn't want us to pet her or touch her at all for that matter. And like yours would run if she saw us looking at her. Was like that for many years, but then one day, my mom discovered her in her lap. We were shocked. She was like a completely different cat! She still doesn't like being picked up, and will protest loudly if we do. But she comes up to us and rubs on our legs now, greets me at the door when I come in, etc. Still not a big lap cat, but sometimes she will be. She also stopped pulling her hair out around that time.
 
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artyjill

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Daisy has started in the last week to not liking me in the same room as her. I get up and as soon as she sees me she runs to her hiding room. This happens till the evening when she plays with her cat - meow, then she is rolling about on the floor trying to chase the mouse. If it goes of she will then run to her room. When she runs she looks so fearful it makes you feel awful even though l haven't moved out of the chair. I tried to close her hiding room door but that really frightened her which made me feel awful.

I feel on a cloud one day and the next day she doesn't like me. Any ideas what to do

When i post about something good  the next day she is making me a liar xx
 

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How long have you had Daisy?  In these situations I just let the cat come it me.  Also, when she is hiding offer her a treat on a long spoon or something.  That way you are not in her space but offering something tasty.
 
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Have had Daisy for nearly three months, don't know if you saw my first post but l got her from a breeder that had her in a cattery at bottom of garden and she didn't bring her in the house to socialize her so now can't go anywhere near her haven't stroked her and l tried treats but she doesn't like any, could be she doesn't want to come close.Tried a long spatula but am sure she thought l was going to hit her.

We have improved on other things, she does come into the living room now and her way of communicating to me is when i am in bed she makes lots of sweet noises and if l don't answer she keeps on going. I need to get her spayed but the vet said to wait till she will be easy to catch her. Found out she like big toys and they have been a godsend as she plays all night with them. Learnt to use the scratching post herself.

I Herve kept notes of how she was and now and its surprising  on things you forget about.

I know she will come round but its just going to ea bit longer,

Jilly  xx
 
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artyjill

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Things are getting so good, only down thing is she is due for her 3rd heat. Just hope its not any  louder than last time.Cats protection are looking for someone to come to get her into the cat carrier when its time to go the vets  as  her heat will start about next Tuesday l will have to get her booked in  just after to get her neutered. Have her carrier in the hall and she doesn't remember last time she was in it as she sniffs  the opening and they gave me £40.00 towards the bill.

But the good part is last week l got hold of  her two sticks with the feathers on, She doesn't play with them but l just put them on her sides and tummy and head, at first she was a good way from me so l said to her 'come on a bit nearer to me and she came straight up to me in front of my feet and she was in heaven, couldn't stop she was rolling over and turning all ways. I called it stroke and she knows the word now so l am doing it 3 times a day. The great thing from it is she comes over to me, she has sniffed my hands and feet and yesterday l called her and she running to me like a Little lamb. I think we are getting nearer to her letting me stroke her. But she is happy in herself now, she won't let me walk near her she shoots  of but that l think is my size to her. She is vain as she she loves to hear me saying how beautiful she is, just laps it up.

Those first days in middle of march l never thought she would look at me or never come out of my bedroom, now she is only in it when the sun comes out and shines on her in the middle of my bed.Just wanted to share some good things,

 Jilly
 

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So happy for you and Daisy.   Keep enjoying these precious moments.  When do we get to see a picture of her? 
 

jan berry

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I think you will be very surprised at how much calmer and more social she will be after she is spAyed. It made a huge difference in my son's female. I'm sorry I didn't think of it before,it's been so long since q had a young female and always have had them spAyed after their first heat. My only experience with a female that was anti-social was my son's and within a month after her surgery she was a different cat. Very loving. I hope it goes well
 
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Thanks for the  good  news about  Daisy being calmer after been neutered, just got to wait till after the heat that's due the middle of this week.. Normally l have taken lots of picture by this age but as soon as l put my phone camera up to my eye she just goes'  So l tried my canon  and does the same. When she runs off l treat it as a game so when she runs she comes back to me. With the feather game l have got her to come up to my legs so am hoping when  use my hand she won' be to scared. She doesn't use her safe room to sleep in now has started to sleep on the rug in the living room, she won't use the two beds l got her and one is a strawberry.

Even with her still not coming to me she is a different cat now to what she was.

Have ordered some natural herb calmer that l put in her food so hoping that will help as well.

  Jill   xx
 
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