How to Help Cat with Depression

Hello all,

I was quite active here a few months back when my boy Niko decided to fly the coop and move in with an elderly lady down the street. The good news is that while she enjoyed his company (he really helped her get through the brutal winter!), she had no intention of keeping him, and was well aware that he had a home. The bad news is that now that he's back, he's super depressed. He's been an outdoor cat for 13 years, and now that the weather's warming up, he REALLY wants to go outside. He still lives with my mother in her house. At the moment, moving him in with me in an apartment isn't an option. I'm house sitting for my mother until the end of the weekend, so I can spend one on one time with Niko and lavish him with affection. I feel terrible keeping him cooped up, but I know that as soon as he's outside, he's going to go back to his friend's home. He's on a diet now, as he's starting to show early signs of kidney failure, so his special food's here. I want him to be able to go and visit his friends in the neighbourhood, but I want him to come back home! When I went to the lady's home to pick him up, he was thrilled to see me - licking, nuzzling, purring, playing. He wouldn't leave my side. As soon as he came back home, he withdrew. Some rubs, but no licks, withdrawing from my petting, no interest in playing with our other cat like he used to, not climbing up on the bed like he used to. He used to reach up to be picked up like a little kid, but he doesn't do that anymore. During his first night back he refused to come into bed with me, though the second night he did. Not up on my chest the way he did before, though. Just sits on my feet. His appetite's great - he likes his diet food, so that's good at least.  But he mostly just stares out the windows and whines. Can anyone help me try to figure out how to keep him stimulated and happy indoors, and be as perky and sociable as he was? Perhaps it's worth noting that my grandmother, who lived with my mother for 8 years, passed away in January. I don't know if her absence is contributing to his sour mood.

I think that once you let him back outside, he will return to his friends house.  He doesn't understand.  He lived with her for a time and must have really enjoyed her company.  Is there a reason why he cannot go there to see her.  You could provide the food and tell her how to feed him.  There is a cat in our neighborhood who has 3-4 different homes.  He would go inside each one.  The original owner asked the people not to feed him and to be sure to let him out.  He would just wander between all of the homes. 

Why does the friend not want to have him any longer?  I assume he stayed inside during the winter with her?  She must have enjoyed his company too.  I would speak with her and tell her the dilemma.  As the primary owner, you would be responsible for vet care. 

I hope you can work out an amicable solution.

Oh, it's not that she doesn't want him around, but we want him to be aware that this is where he gets his food, and that it's his primary home. She had his diet food for a bit while he was with her during the winter, but now that it's here, I want him to know that this is where he's fed, and that he'll return here, especially since his food needs to be more closely monitored and measured, now. She had an indoor cat for 15 years some time ago, but she was raised with dogs, and doesn't really know the nuances of cat behavior, and that they'll stay with whoever feeds them. So I'd be reluctant to give her his diet food again since we're trying to get him re-adjusted to being here. I'd be happy to let him go and wander to her home and to our neighbours' home if I knew he was going to come back here.

The only way to know that he will return is to keep him inside.  You can ask her not to feed him so that he will return to you when he is hungry.  But she may keep him inside.

It's a tough situation.

With time he will get over it, it might take weeks though, but eventually he will adjust and start enjoying from what is around him and forgets what is outside.

Spring is tough time, there is bit of spring in each cat's chest during that time and even seasoned indoor cat might want to have a stroll outdoors.

Even short playing time will be great help.

There must be a reason to why he doesn't want to be in your home and has found another home he prefers more. If the only way to force him to stay is to keep him "imprisoned" ... He is a conscious being. Have a skilled animal communicator talk to him to find out what the problem is, what it is that he is trying to avoid or if he has a soul contract with his friend that he visits. He will do what he wants to do, if you let him.

What drove him off initially was that my mother began letting the neighbours' cat inside her home. Though Niko and the other cat are okay with each other, Niko didn't like the bigger, younger cat impeding on his turf, and took off. I kept Niko inside all week while I was house sitting. He was restless and whiny, but relaxed otherwise. Eating well, snuggling, playing, grooming our other cat. I take it the scent of the neighbours' cat had since gone. I let Niko back outside before I went back home and told the lady that while I certainly don't mind "sharing" Niko, I'd like it if my mother's home was where he came to eat, so I asked if she could stop feeding him so that he'd know where to go when he gets hungry. She's really sweet and means well, but I wish she hadn't started feeding him in the first place…why would you begin providing food for a cat that is collared and licensed? I imagine it'll take some time before Niko "gets" where to go for food, since the lady has been giving him food.

omondieu said:

What drove him off initially was that my mother began letting the neighbours' cat inside her home. Though Niko and the other cat are okay with each other, Niko didn't like the bigger, younger cat impeding on his turf, and took off. I kept Niko inside all week while I was house sitting. He was restless and whiny, but relaxed otherwise. Eating well, snuggling, playing, grooming our other cat. I take it the scent of the neighbours' cat had since gone. I let Niko back outside before I went back home and told the lady that while I certainly don't mind "sharing" Niko, I'd like it if my mother's home was where he came to eat, so I asked if she could stop feeding him so that he'd know where to go when he gets hungry. She's really sweet and means well, but I wish she hadn't started feeding him in the first place…why would you begin providing food for a cat that is collared and licensed? I imagine it'll take some time before Niko "gets" where to go for food, since the lady has been giving him food.

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He will go to lady's place and beg for food if given a chance, it might take weeks to few months until he really gets it that no more food from lady, but are you sure lady is not going to give in and feed him as cats can be very persuasive?

My cats are whining a lot too, always begging to get outdoors, no matter if it would be raining wet snow so that it is cold and they will get soaked, still they just have that drive to patrol 'their' land.

During the cold times they will be outside less than an hour, then they are very willing to get back to indoors, but cat who has had access to outdoors will be very whiny as long as he can see outdoors from the window, they are such explorers and when they get taste of it they are hooked.

It takes really long time until they accept that they have no access to outdoors, also it will need very strict ignoring of their whining, which is hard, they are masters in begging/bugging when they want something.

I have one cat that is such, that given too much outdoor time he becomes too shy to have courage to come near to me or enter to house, he is mostly indoors, but he gets short visits to outdoors at winter, not much more than twice a month, during summer I can't let him out as then only way get him back would be by trap. He is cuddliest cat I have, jumps on my lap every time I sit so it is just that he likes outdoors much, but is bit shy and gets scared really easy.

During the about 6 months of indoor only time he will get quite ok being indoors, but he don't stop begging completely.

Here summer has other difficulty, there is so much to eat for them (rural area with some agriculture and vast forests without settlement) that my cats are preferring natural dinner table over what I can provide to them, so that is another challenge.

For your situation I think that keeping him indoors for 6 months or so might be enough to get him forget that another food source or if you can trust lady not giving in for Niko's greatest begging attempts he might be ok roaming outdoors and accepting food source you wish to provide, unless he finds another food source, so that second option might be faster, but it has greater risks, first one is with less risks, but mentally perhaps harder for you, your mother and for Niko.

Cats are of course individuals, it might be that things go differently in your case, but that is what for me looks like the situation from my experiences, so usual disclaimer your experiences may vary

same here... Rascal is a free cat, and I consider myself lucky every time I see him. This is because he owns not only the house, the yard, the block, but the surrounding blocks as well where my sister lives. Unfortunately I've taken him there quite often in the past for visits, so he considers it a second home. Thankfully, after a flea that may or may not have been his, my sister's family is now convinced not to let him inside (where he would gorge on kitty junk food). But, of course, he begs. I put a collar saying "fat cat" on him and everyone concurred, yep, this one certainly isn't starving. So he's been home more (and eating the food it takes me hours to make just for him). But, of course, in fine weather he is out patrolling. Or in slightly drizzly weather. He has his own door.