- Joined
- Jul 6, 2014
- Messages
- 307
- Purraise
- 45
Hey all. My boy was put to rest by us in July and it's really upset me. I regret it. I could be at ease with the situation a whole lot more if I knew he was ok in the after life. I feel I abandoned him terribly and his last hours on this earth haunt me. I feel he didn't want to be put to sleep and had more time left.
I doubt there is a god. I doubt there is an after life. Having said that when my grand father passed away about 6 months later I dreamt about him and it was on his birthday. I was away at the time I didn't even know it was his birthday. In my dream, it was him. Really him. He was trying to warn me of danger. I want to have a dream like this about my boy or at least get a sign of there is a god that he is ok. That's where I doubt there is a god. If there is one, why isn't he answering my prayers.
While on vacation in September last year a woman I met told me she had a friend who connected with deceased animals. She said according to him they had a hard time crossing over to the other side and he helped them with that. Of all things she mentioned that he was sad because his cat had died. By the way I didn't even mention anything about animals or my cat. So it's not like she was just saying it to make me feel better.
So I'm torn and I know I'm contradicting myself here. On one hand, I do believe. On the other I don't. I have my doubts.
I love my boy. I regret what I did. It pains me to think I'll never see him again and there is nothing after death. To end my boys life and for him now to be buried in the ground, it's terrible.
I feel like I'm a murderer and wasn't there for my baby.
I doubt there is a god. I doubt there is an after life. Having said that when my grand father passed away about 6 months later I dreamt about him and it was on his birthday. I was away at the time I didn't even know it was his birthday. In my dream, it was him. Really him. He was trying to warn me of danger. I want to have a dream like this about my boy or at least get a sign of there is a god that he is ok. That's where I doubt there is a god. If there is one, why isn't he answering my prayers.
While on vacation in September last year a woman I met told me she had a friend who connected with deceased animals. She said according to him they had a hard time crossing over to the other side and he helped them with that. Of all things she mentioned that he was sad because his cat had died. By the way I didn't even mention anything about animals or my cat. So it's not like she was just saying it to make me feel better.
So I'm torn and I know I'm contradicting myself here. On one hand, I do believe. On the other I don't. I have my doubts.
I love my boy. I regret what I did. It pains me to think I'll never see him again and there is nothing after death. To end my boys life and for him now to be buried in the ground, it's terrible.
I feel like I'm a murderer and wasn't there for my baby.