adopting a new kitten.

so in the coming weeks we will be getting a new kitten i'm just wondering best way to set up a sanctuary room?

Choose a room where the kitten will not be isolated from people but only from the other cats, i.e. your bedroom, a study, a TV room, for instance.  Then put in the litter box in one area, and the food and water dishes far away from the litter box.  There should be a nice comfy bed for the kitten, either a real bed, a sofa, a soft chair, or a cat bed set up where kitten likes to be.  If she's a tree dweller type, she will want it up off the ground.  If she's a cave dweller type, she will want it under something, so she can hide at first.  How you go from there will totally depend on how she reacts and how your other cats react to having a new little one in the house.  Eventually you may want to go to a baby gate (or two of them, one high and one low, so they can see each other but not cross the barrier.  It's usually a good idea to do "site swapping" after a few days, allowing the new one to explore the house and putting the resident cats into the new one's space, so each can get used to the others smells.  Going slowly is the best way to make introductions.  Let their curiosity build before they actually see each other.  Then get one playing while the other watches, as that often breaks the ice.  A friend of mine just introduced a new kitten slowly like this, and by the time her two older cats actually met the little guy face to face, they were already calm about it and took to him immediately.  Nw they parent him, washing him and cuddling and sleeping with him.  There was never even a hiss once they saw each other.  I think she took about a week to do the whole thing and they were all extremely curious by the time they actually met.

This is gunna be hard for me then as our resident cat has pretty much full run during the day and at night isn't allowed in our bedroom I dunno where best to put him I would in the bathroom but theres barely room to turn around let alone decent enough distance for food/water from litter.

I would suggest the bedroom, then.  It isn't a permanent arrangement, just a place to start.  And if you need to put him in the tiny bathroom at night (i.e. if you can't sleep with him), that should be fine.  It isn't a permanent arrangement, just a beginning, and eventually they should be living together in peace.

we have the new kiitten now and we've had no hissing or growling just an overwhelming desire to be in the room and the kittens tried once to escape what can we do?

I just made the huge mistake of trying to site swap today ( not even 24 hours later i got impatient) and lilly hissed and later growled at the door. So since then I've been going inn every so often stroking lilly before I go in and lettting cheetah sniff my hands (though she wont sniff she keeps latching on and licking nibbling) then I stroke her before I leave and let lilly sniff me when I come out. She cautious her pupils only slightly dilate but thats the only sign of fear i have noticed since the initial growl and hiss. She is hesitant of me stroking her after the sniffing though.

You really want to take this slowly or you will end up having to redo the intros which will really prolong the process.  Take it very slowly.  I would only scent swap for the first week.  Next you should do some feedings with a closed door between them.  They may need to be far away from the door.  You can move closer as long as there is no  hissing or growling.  No site swapping until they can eat on either side of the door. 

I know you want them to see each other and get along.  Your resident cat will not feel the same way. 

I rushed the process and it ended up taking almost a full year for my resident cat and the new comer to get along.  If I had just taken things slowly it would have been much easier. 

When you think they may be ready to see each other, i.e. there is no more hissing at each others scents, you can put the resident cat in a carrier and leave the other loose to explore.  (The new one is less likely to be aggressive towards the cat in the carrier than the resident cat is.)  Use a toy to play with the new cat one while the other one watches from inside the carrier.  Nothing like play to make them friendly IN GENERAL (not always true of adult cats however).  If that remains quiet and peaceful, maybe you can swap out and put the new one in the carrier and let the resident cat check it out.  If there's no singing of war songs, then that's a good sign.  A little hissing is normal if they are nervous about each other, and again, playing with the free cat with something like the laser light or DaBird will distract.

would the fact i've ended up with a boy kittten instead of a girl (the woman I got him from obviously missexed) when my resident is a girl have any effect on intros?d