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i'm new here and i'm struggling

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
i'm 22 years old and i've just gotten my first kitten, he's an adorable boy named benny, but he's driving me crazy. he won't just sit there and allow me to pet him, he puts his paws up for defence. he always claws me and all i want to do is love the little guy. i've had him since friday and he's finally going in the litter box.

any tips on how i can be more affectionate without getting the claw? any play tips? i want to be able to go to bed (i live in a studio apt) without worrying that he's gonna jump up on me while i'm sleeping, so that i don't hurt him...
post #2 of 18
My only advice is....be patient!

My Lily was the same way, ok, she still is, but she's calmed down a lot. :laughing2:

You didn't say how old Benny is, but he looks pretty young in the pic.
I got Lily at 8 weeks, and she did the same things...biting, clawing , and struggling when I tried to hold or pet her. But when she wanted Love, she'd come lay next to me...just to be close.

Now she lays next to me, on me, anywhere near me! She loves to be petted, but still shies away from being held for longer than a few seconds...there's too much else to do, chase, play with and destroy!

Your Benny will calm down, he just needs time. When he bites or claws you, put him down...he's trying to tell you he doesn't like it. He'll come to you when he's ready, and it shouldn't take long

post #3 of 18
I always found that taking the cat into a fairly small room (namely my kitchen!) putting it down, with some toys etc, and just sitting on the floor for a while with it helped! - If you sit kinda central in the room the cat has to pass you (or go over you) some time, as they do this just give them a quick stroke and let them come and go as they please over you - they sson learn that when they're on you or near you thats when they get some lovin'! It lets them get used to you on "their" terms.. (or so they think!! )

Eventually he WILL get used to you, so as Cleo say's just be patient!!
As for not wanting him jumping on you while you sleep, you could always shut him out of your bedroom at night - maybe just till hes a bit bigger and you're not so worried about squashing the little smurf!

The best play thing would be another kitten as they keep each other busy!! But besides that I find "dangely" things the best, feathers on string/elastic, or a simple ball for him to chase and attack!
Don't forget a good scratch mat too! (it'll save many furniture legs!!)

(Ooooo I want another kitten..... )

post #4 of 18
Welcome Cherryarmy!!!!
I'll repeat Cleo and BodLover's advice - be patient and kind and the thing will come naturally.
Hope to see you posting often!
post #5 of 18
Just want to welcome you. Your little guy is so cute.
post #6 of 18
I'm no expert, but I think what everyone is saying is right on. it just takes time & patience.
post #7 of 18

It's great to have you here.. I hope you stick around and share you opinion with us and post often! As for your furbaby... I'm with everyone else.. just be patient.. he'll come around eventually. He looks to be in the kitten stage.. and they are very very playful in that stage. Also if you ever decide to get another cat.. and want a very sociable and loving one.. you may want to look at the siamese.. they are extremely loving and sociable.. and very demanding of attention.
post #8 of 18
Thread Starter 
I guess I just have to be patient then Benny is about 5 or 6 weeks old actually and I've had him since Friday. I let him roam in the apartment yesterday while I was at work and I was really happy when I came home and found everything was ok.

I've never been a cat person, just the thought of cat hair would make me cringe so this is a big step for me. I'm wondering if Benny can sense that I'm a bit scared of him...
post #9 of 18
Welcome Cherryarmy! I was never a cat person eaither until I got my Siamese cats. Now I love them! As for the cat hair thing same for me. I hope you grow to love your baby he is so cute! I would just try to play with him and not be scared of him. Yes I think they can tell when you are scared. Good Luck!
post #10 of 18
Welcome Cherryarmy,

When we first got a kitten all of our hands,legs and arms were covered with bites and scratches. Kittens play all of their awake time and with whatever is handy (including body parts). They do get over this eventually. In the meantime patience, patience and more patience.

Makes me want a kitten again just talking about it (even with all the scratches and bites).

Good luck. Your kitty is adorable.
post #11 of 18
Cherryarmy; Let me,also, welcome you to our family of (apparently) patient cat lovers. We have all been where you are, My Dear, and it does get better with "time" and "love". Your kitty will learn to trust you and will appreciate where his food and companionship come from. Please feel free to come to us often with updates on Benny. He is a precious baby and full of energy; which would indicate that he is healthy.

post #12 of 18
We have a 3 1/2 month old kitten we have had since he was 3 weeks old. He is just getting out of that biting and scratching stage. Patience, and gently correcting him will get him thraough it. Good luck and welcome to the cat site!
post #13 of 18
Welcome Cherryarmy!!! Wow...it feels really good for me to be able to give someone on here some first hand advice!! I have been there! Oh my god have I been there!!!
When I first brought Merlin into the house, he was a few weeks old, almost dead, and I fed him, and loved him. Suddenly, he turned into a "killing" machine :laughing: I was so upset over the whole thing!!!
When I tried to love and pet him, I got scratched and bit....when I went to work, people would look at my arms and say, man, what happened??? They were so scratched up, and I would get so frustrated with him, and thought he would never be the cuddley little kitten I wanted him to be.
My husband thought it was funny, and even egged him on to fight. (Merlin thought they were playing) the only good thing about this, was that in the process of egging him on to fight, my hubby fell totally in love with him, and not by his choice! :laughing:
So anyway....now Merlin is almost a year old, and the only cat allowed in the house by my hubby. Merlin comes in when he wants to come in and goes out when he wants to go out. He just stands by the door and meows if he wants out and we let him out.
He no longer bites or scratches, EVER!!
He LOVES to be petted, and fussed over, but yet he does still have a bit of his attitude left, which only adds to his personality....if he wants love, he will come to me. He follows me around the house, rubbing up against my legs, but if he is not in the mood for it, and I try to pick him up, or cuddle him....I get a dirty look, and he runs away!!! (Men...:laughing: )
So be patient...it WILL get better! At night Merlin crawls in bed with me, and can't seem to get close enough to me....but only when he wants it that way. Otherwise...he is like...give me my cat food, and go away...you bother me. Man I love this cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep us posted on how it goes!!!
post #14 of 18
this is part of how a kitten grows. He is sparring with you, as he would with his siblings if they were around. Your arm or finger or whatever he gloms on to is his substitute. You can gently blow in his face when he gets like this, tell him a firm "NO!" blow in his face and withdraw from him. If he attacks you again, pick him up and place him belly up on the crook of your arm, using only two fingers on his belly, keep him there but only for about 5 seconds, then release. This shows him you are the alpha cat, just like his brother or sister would do to him if he were to bother them. They would turn him on his belly and nibble his neck or ear to let them know who is BOSS. Kittens are fun at that age, they only need gentle correction and if you find yourself really frustrated by what he is doing, then withdraw from the "game" He will get the idea. Good luck, and welcome to the board.
post #15 of 18
From my experience the best thing was to bring home another kitten. That way Mishmish had a playmate for those rough kitten games. We found out that having 2 cats is actually easier than having one as they keep each other company when we're away. In fact, they're playing together and chasing each other around the house as I'm typing this And they're already 2 years old!

Oh, and welcome to the site!
post #16 of 18
Kittens will find ways to play with just about anything. My new baby loves the feather wand and she just spent about 15 minutes playing with a trackball. The best way to cuddle with Benny is to wait until he's ready to sleep and then gently pet him. That's what I have to do.

As for him sleeping with you, he should be fine. Both of my cats sleep with me, and so far no big problems. Except when the kitten decides to play with the older cat, who is not interested.
post #17 of 18
Thread Starter 
Unfortunately I gave up. Benny became worse and really starting scaring me so I gave him back to my co-worker. But I'm not giving up. I'm thinking I'll adopt a mellow cat through petfinder.org. i feel horrible, but i know now what i can handle and what i can't.
post #18 of 18
I'm sorry you felt you needed to give up on Benny. At this age, I would say 95% of kittens are just crazy. That's the way they are. I'm glad the lady you got him from was willing to take him back.
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