Does having kids change how you feel towards your pets?

terestrife · Feb 7, 2015

I was talking to my sister about my cat being sick recently and how i had to spend money. And she commented that if i ever have children that is going to change. That i will think of my child first and i wont want to spend money healing my cat.

This confuses me, because i always see a pet as a family, you took responsibility when you adopted this pet to care for it, the rest of its life. If a pet is sick, you make sacrifices to heal the pet.

Right now, its just me and my elderly mom, we dont have much money but we sacrificed what we had to take Kitty to the vet. How will having a child suddenly make me sacrifice my animal just to save money for my kids?

She says i will want to save the money for my kids instead in case they have an emergency.

Will i change my mind once i have kids?

kittywhiskers · Feb 7, 2015

For me, my cats mean as much to me as my human children. They also mean as much to my human children, like having another brother or sister.

Does your sister have any pets?

I can sort of understand someone who doesn't have any pets thinking this way but until you have them you don't realise just how much they mean to you.
They become family like you said.
I don't see any reason why you would change if/when you decide to have children.

terestrife · Feb 7, 2015

kittywhiskers · Feb 7, 2015

Oh my, that picture makes me sad. I can understand what you mean though.

Honestly, if that's the way you feel then you definitely have a heart big enough for kid's AND cat's! :catguy:

mservant · Feb 7, 2015

KittyWhiskers said:
Oh my, that picture makes me sad. I can understand what you mean though.

Honestly, if that's the way you feel then you definitely have a heart big enough for kid's AND cat's!

terestrife · Feb 7, 2015

KittyWhiskers said:
Oh my, that picture makes me sad. I can understand what you mean though.

I know, it broke my heart when i saw it.

Kat0121 · Feb 7, 2015

terestrife said:
I was talking to my sister about my cat being sick recently and how i had to spend money. And she commented that if i ever have children that is going to change. That i will think of my child first and i wont want to spend money healing my cat.

This confuses me, because i always see a pet as a family, you took responsibility when you adopted this pet to care for it, the rest of its life. If a pet is sick, you make sacrifices to heal the pet.

Right now, its just me and my elderly mom, we dont have much money but we sacrificed what we had to take Kitty to the vet. How will having a child suddenly make me sacrifice my animal just to save money for my kids?

She says i will want to save the money for my kids instead in case they have an emergency.

Will i change my mind once i have kids?

It's really difficult to reason with people who aren't "animal people". My parents are not animal people. They are fine as long as they are someone else's problem. Not shedding, making noise or leaving anything anywhere to be cleaned up. They certainly would never see an animal as anything else other than "just an animal". I have loved animals ever since I can remember loving anything. I wanted a kitten soooooooooo bad when I was a kid but couldn't because my mother hates cats. HOW DO YOU HATE CATS?? She says they are "sneaky". WHAT?? If they went thundering around the house like elephants, she'd hate them for that, too. My husband was highly allergic to cats but he loved them and they ADORED him. We knew people with cats and whenever we'd go to their houses, their cats would be all over him. Even cats who were not usually outgoing towards anyone outside of their families. His allergies would kick in and he'd be sitting there with a cat or 2 in his lap. He didn't have the heart to make them get down. DD is an animal person, too. She adores Lilith and Sophie. She hasn't had a chance to spend much time with Henry yet since she's been at school but she is looking forward to that while she's here for spring break.

terestrife · Feb 8, 2015

Kat0121 said:
It's really difficult to reason with people who aren't "animal people". My parents are not animal people. They are fine as long as they are someone else's problem. Not shedding, making noise or leaving anything anywhere to be cleaned up. They certainly would never see an animal as anything else other than "just an animal". I have loved animals ever since I can remember loving anything. I wanted a kitten soooooooooo bad when I was a kid but couldn't because my mother hates cats. HOW DO YOU HATE CATS?? She says they are "sneaky". WHAT?? If they went thundering around the house like elephants, she'd hate them for that, too. My husband was highly allergic to cats but he loved them and they ADORED him. We knew people with cats and whenever we'd go to their houses, their cats would be all over him. Even cats who were not usually outgoing towards anyone outside of their families. His allergies would kick in and he'd be sitting there with a cat or 2 in his lap. He didn't have the heart to make them get down. DD is an animal person, too. She adores Lilith and Sophie. She hasn't had a chance to spend much time with Henry yet since she's been at school but she is looking forward to that while she's here for spring break.

I had to highlight that, that was hilarious!

Thats so sweet how your husband lets cats get on him, even though he is allergic. Its funny how cats seek out the one person they shouldnt. The other day my brother calls to me to get "the cat" as he calls her, he is the one person in my family i cannot get to, at least,like cats. Anyway, I rushed over, thinking my cat was dropping things, or misbehaving somehow.... You know what she was doing? Rubbing his legs with her body.

I told him she was just being affectionate, and he said he didnt want her affection. lol My brother is normally sweet, he was just in a bad mood, and he doesnt like cats. And yet my cat always seeks out to be near him for some reason.

You know, my mom, who is going to be 70 soon, has been a dog person most of her life, she never understood my love for cats. She always thought they seemed ungrateful with how cats close their eyes to eat. Most of the people in my family didnt like, or couldnt stand cats. That is, until i adopted my cat Kitty a few years ago.

My mom instantly fell in love with Kitty, and she now realizes how cats all have their own little personalities.

The reason i adopted my second cat, was because she pointed out a underweight cat that was living in our neighborhood. I guess it helps that my mom is a dog lover, i guess if the person is not an animal person AT ALL. It would probably be difficult to change their mind. For instance, my sister loves Kitty, and will pet her, and play with her. But she doesnt want her husband adopting a cat.

Even though she just let her daughter adopt one of those tiny dogs that yap really loudly. lol

Kat0121 · Feb 8, 2015

terestrife said:
I had to highlight that, that was hilarious!

Thats so sweet how your husband lets cats get on him, even though he is allergic. Its funny how cats seek out the one person they shouldnt. The other day my brother calls to me to get "the cat" as he calls her, he is the one person in my family i cannot get to, at least,like cats. Anyway, I rushed over, thinking my cat was dropping things, or misbehaving somehow.... You know what she was doing? Rubbing his legs with her body.

I told him she was just being affectionate, and he said he didnt want her affection. lol My brother is normally sweet, he was just in a bad mood, and he doesnt like cats. And yet my cat always seeks out to be near him for some reason.

You know, my mom, who is going to be 70 soon, has been a dog person most of her life, she never understood my love for cats. She always thought they seemed ungrateful with how cats close their eyes to eat. Most of the people in my family didnt like, or couldnt stand cats. That is, until i adopted my cat Kitty a few years ago.

My mom instantly fell in love with Kitty, and she now realizes how cats all have their own little personalities.

The reason i adopted my second cat, was because she pointed out a underweight cat that was living in our neighborhood. I guess it helps that my mom is a dog lover, i guess if the person is not an animal person AT ALL. It would probably be difficult to change their mind. For instance, my sister loves Kitty, and will pet her, and play with her. But she doesnt want her husband adopting a cat.

Even though she just let her daughter adopt one of those tiny dogs that yap really loudly. lol

Yeah it is hilarious in the most ridiculous, insane and pathetic way possible. Even as a young kid, whenever she'd say that I would just shake my head. When I was about 16 or so, I was sitting behind a grocery store with a friend of mine. The store was on my street so it was very close. There was a sidewalk with a curb behind the store and across the parking lot (the part you drive through to exit) was a grassy area with some bushes. As she and I sat there I heard something cry. I asked her if she heard that. Nope, she didn't. I heard it again. She didn't. Finally after the third time, I called out, "here kitty" and who popped out of the bushes and came running over but a small black kitten. It was adorable and friendly and came right over to me. Like I mentioned, the store was at the bottom of the street I lived on. There were a total of 10 families on the street and my we knew them all well. A couple had dogs but no cats. This little one was likely dumped behind the store thinking back on it. It was alone.I was working back then and had some money so I went to the store and got some kitten food and took it home to feed it. I figured it's a baby animal that has no one. She'd HAVE to make an exception this time, right?

Wrong. She acted like I brought an alligator into the house. I was told to get rid of it because she hates cats. Yeah, I know. I threw a hissy fit which was pointless. The kitten had to go. She let me feed it but it had to go. Fortunately, my sister knew someone whose family had just had to put their old cat to sleep and they were thinking about getting another one. They ended up taking the kitten so it ended up very well but I really wanted it.

Oh well, it wasn't meant to be, I guess.

kntrygrl256 · Feb 9, 2015

I had 3 cats several years before I had kids. They lived several years after my daughters arrived. I was just as consistent with their health as I was my daughters. I kept their dr appts scheduled just like my daughters. My oldest furbaby was 15 when she passed and my oldest daughter was 5. She was as much apart of my life as my 17 y/o dd today.

T.

kntrygrl256 · Feb 9, 2015

When I got pregnant with my first child everyone told me I would have to get rid of my cats because of health issues to me and the dreaded old wives tale about cats smothering babies. That is a bunch of bullsh**

I had no intention of getting rid of my cats ( I had 3 at the time, indoors). I talked to my Dr. and he told me what precautions to take and I took them. I did have health issues with my first but it had nothing to do with my cats.

I only had one didn't like my dd but she didn't like any other person but me. The other 2 were amazing with her. One even helped me when she had colic so bad we didn't sleep for days. She knew something was wrong and would roll on my dd belly so the gas wouldn't build up. She ended up being her constant companion until her dad threw her outside

T.

feralvr · Feb 9, 2015

Having my daughter never changed the way I felt about caring and loving my cats. It never even crossed my mind regardless of those wives tales to banish my cats or neglect care due to financial burden's, etc.

Sadly, though, there are just as many who feel the opposite. I have seen over and over volunteering in the shelter's throughout my life people who return and/or relinquish cat's and dog's due to a baby. The reason's are usually about money, unfortunately. That they just can't afford to feed or give proper medical care to their cat any longer. Mostly that is the reason over the other concern or "tale" of cat's smothering babies, allergies, or the cat disliking the child. It is usually a financial decision. And, that will never change. Families will always put their child before their pet in that regard.

I see my pet's as my "furchildren". They are my family! Troubles and obstacles WILL come and go throughout the lifetime of our pet's and this should try to be foreseen, make a commitment to that pet and no matter what comes in our life, we will work it through one way or another. To me, that is the only way! I could not fathom giving up my commitment to my pet due to children. I think people have to plan for their future and see past that cute little kitten/puppy for 15 years or more and think about how they will feel after having their own children and if that pet will still be their priority. It is a reality check that most don't even think about. They just think about now, the present. On the flip side, though, that is really tough to do and sometimes no matter how hard one tries to work things out, they just cannot and give up. It happens. :shame:

angelamariebee · Feb 9, 2015

I'll be the oddball here and slightly agree with your sister. I used to think of my pets as my babies and after having an actual child they took a backseat as just pets. I love all my cats, I love other people's cats, I take care of them mostly in the same way I did before. You couldn't pay me to give them up and sometimes they do require extra care meaning extra money. But if I had to choose between feeding my pet or feeding my kid? Sorry cats. That hasn't happened yet and I don't foresee having to make a choice like that but I imagine that's what your sister is trying to say (although in a very condescending way).

So no, I didn't totally forget about my pets after my daughter was born but they definitely dropped down at least one rung on the priority ladder. And I think that's normal. But you might not notice a change in how you feel about your cat and that's normal too.

terestrife · Feb 9, 2015

angelamariebee said:
But if I had to choose between feeding my pet or feeding my kid? Sorry cats.

I cant agree with this statement. Although i do agree i would buy the baby food first. i also would not allow my cat to starve. i dont care if i had to beg friends or family for cat food. or stand outside a supermarket with a sign begging for cat food. there are even churches that help people. but i cant see myself allowing my cats to starve, especially if i have food for myself.

i have heard that soup kitchens for the poor sometimes have pet foods. i just think there is always a way. just my opinion though.

sparrowhawk · Feb 9, 2015

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]I believe most people who find their love lessened for their pet when they have kids may have been overly attached to them to begin with. As great as they are, they are still animals, and can’t replace human companionship.

If I am ever blessed to have kids, my love for my pet would not lessen, but that’s because I don’t view pets as part of the family – they are the family pet, not part of the family themselves.

That’s not to say I don’t dote on my pets. Sam has greatly slowed down the progress I was making on my book because of how much I play with him and pet him. I even let him sleep on my back at night, and he pretty much has free reign of the house. And, as I live alone, obviously I’m the one who meets all of his needs – food, water, litter, grooming, play, everything.

I didn’t even go looking for Sam, yet I dropped $700 on a cat I had no intention of getting because I couldn’t bear the thought of him living in a cage for several months before getting euthanized, even though I don’t have that kind of money, and I’m buying him toys, food [and not the cheap Purina Cat Chow either), and litter on a regular basis when I need to be paying off debt (I don’t even have a house, yet I have more debt than I make in year – before taxes. About double what I take home, and 90% of it student loans/car).

But my pets have never come close to the love my family or even friends. Yes, I got Sam mostly because I couldn’t bear the thought of him being locked up only to be euthanized later, but I would not have kept him my lifestyle didn’t easily accommodate a cat. I would have asked if someone was interested in a cat and if I couldn’t find someone put an ad in the classifieds. The fact that I didn’t want to spend $700 to obtain a pet before (even though I grew up with pets and know the joys of owning one), but rather have spent that on paying off debt, is probably pretty telling.

When/If I get married, I will not be against having a pet, but I definitely will not be encouraging one even though I personally like them. Already my life is busy, and if I had kids I wouldn’t have any time to give the animal the attention it needs. However, if my wife wants to stay at home and wants a pet to keep her company during the day, that would be great, or if my kids want a pet, I think they are great for teaching about responsibility and that caring for something (or someone), even if it doesn’t appreciate it (we do far more for our pets than they appreciate – some of the things we do for them they even hate [like vet visits or medicine]), is part of loving it, while at the same time giving them encouragement because many things the animal will appreciate and show affection to the child in return for their care.

Because of how much I do for my pet, it would be easier to show the differences between friends/family by what I would NOT do for my pet that I would do for a friend or family member.

1.      1. I would not risk my life for my pet, but there are several people I would do so gladly.

2.      2. I would not choose a pet if it meant a drastic change in lifestyle. I would happily reorient my world for family and some of my friends.

3.      3. If there is a life threatening crisis (i.e. fire), the animal would not even cross my mind until after everyone else was safe, and I would not let a fire-fighter risk their life for a pet, nor greatly endanger my own (i.e., if I knew where the animal was and could get to it without having to actually expose my body to flames or risk overly long smoke inhalation, I would get it out, and if I couldn’t reach it but there was a window outside to that room I would break it in a heartbeat, but I wouldn’t go somewhere I wasn’t 100% sure I could get back from).

4.      4. I would sell every possession I have and plunge myself into as much debt as creditors would let me if a family member had a chronic, life-threatening medical condition, but there is a limit to how much financial stress I would put on myself for a pet (I’d be willing to spend a good deal of money, but I would not risk my financial security for a pet).

5. I don’t “humanize” animals. No cute clothing, no calling them “baby” (I have used “buddy” occasionally), no marriage ceremonies, etc. Sometimes I think people actually do things their pet doesn’t like in trying to dote on them. Most animals I know HATE being dressed up.

I’ve heard some people call me cold because I don’t endanger myself for animals. It is my belief that humans, including myself, are worth more than animals. If I CAN care for an animal without harming myself, I will gladly do so. But if I CAN’T either 1) I won’t get one to start with or 2) if the pet has lived a full life, I am not going to ruin the next 15-20 years of mine to keep the pet for an additional 1-2. I believe part of getting a pet is understanding you are very likely to outlive it, and you must be ready to face the pain of letting go. Like I said at the beginning, animals should not take the place of human companionship. But, if animals could speak, I don’t think I single one would call me cold. Probably just the opposite.

Growing up, I spent more time with our pets than anyone else in our family, yet I was also the first one to suggest we put our dog down. My parents were shocked. I was always loving on him, letting him break rules (I never stopped him from jumping on me, much to my parents dismay, and I often would sneak him into the house if I wanted to play with him but it was too cold for me outside). But as I told my parents, “He’s so blind and deaf he jumps when we pet him because he never realized we were close! His legs aren’t working right, and all the procedures that could help him are incredibly expensive and will provide temporary and incomplete relief at best. It’s time to let him go.” I cried off and on for weeks, but I knew it was the right call.

I guess you could say my treatment of animals reflect my view on life. Never be afraid of your emotions. Feel them – all of them – the good and the bad. But don’t be guided by them.

“Live a life filled with passion that is guided by logic.”

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SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Body Text First Indent"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Note Heading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Body Text 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Body Text 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Body Text Indent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Body Text Indent 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Block Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Hyperlink"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="FollowedHyperlink"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Document Map"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Plain Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="E-mail Signature"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Top of Form"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Normal (Web)"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Acronym"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Address"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Cite"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Code"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Definition"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Keyboard"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Preformatted"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Sample"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Typewriter"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="HTML Variable"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Normal Table"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="annotation subject"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="No List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Outline List 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Outline List 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Outline List 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Simple 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Simple 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Simple 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Classic 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Classic 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Classic 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Classic 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Colorful 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Colorful 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Colorful 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Columns 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Grid 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 7"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table List 8"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table 3D effects 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table 3D effects 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table 3D effects 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Contemporary"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Elegant"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Professional"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Subtle 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Subtle 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Web 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Web 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Web 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Balloon Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Table Theme"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 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Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 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Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/> <w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 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angelamariebee · Feb 9, 2015

I didn't say anyone should let their cats starve... :/ @terestrife

terestrife · Feb 9, 2015

angelamariebee said:
I didn't say anyone should let their cats starve... :/ @terestrife

"But if I had to choose between feeding my pet or feeding my kid? Sorry cats."

lol must have misunderstood that sentence then.

maiaelizabeth · Feb 9, 2015

I asked a friend who recently had a baby this same exact question. The only difference she said it was that she doesn't kiss her cats on the mouth anymore, because she kisses her baby. I kiss my cats mouths too. And yes i would probably stop kissing them if I ever have kids. That would be about it though. I would not feel different in any way. She didn't change anything. She even got her cat spayed after the baby was born... and the cats love the baby and vice versa. When i Have my kids Maia and Foley will be their older brother and sister.

maureen brad · Feb 9, 2015

I hope your sister doesn't mean that you would not want to take care your cat because you had kids.

I have kids and of course I want to take care of my animals. What would I have taught my kids if they watched me neglect my animals? No, animals mean a lot to me and I always wanted to instill a love for animals, a respect for animals and a responsibility to animals in my children.

I can say that I would not ever have neglected my children's needs for the animals.Of course not. I can say that now that they are grown and only one is still at home I take much better care of my cats. For instance, I feed raw and I built an outdoor enclosure. My cats have cat climbing shelves, beds everywhere and 5 cat trees.

I honestly believe that having pets and witnessing proper care of and love for those pets is important in kids developing a moral center and a giving heart.

cats--always · Feb 11, 2015

Sparrowhawk said:
[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]I believe most people who find their love lessened for their pet when they have kids may have been overly attached to them to begin with. As great as they are, they are still animals, and can’t replace human companionship.

If I am ever blessed to have kids, my love for my pet would not lessen, but that’s because I don’t view pets as part of the family – they are the family pet, not part of the family themselves.

That’s not to say I don’t dote on my pets. Sam has greatly slowed down the progress I was making on my book because of how much I play with him and pet him. I even let him sleep on my back at night, and he pretty much has free reign of the house. And, as I live alone, obviously I’m the one who meets all of his needs – food, water, litter, grooming, play, everything.

I didn’t even go looking for Sam, yet I dropped $700 on a cat I had no intention of getting because I couldn’t bear the thought of him living in a cage for several months before getting euthanized, even though I don’t have that kind of money, and I’m buying him toys, food [and not the cheap Purina Cat Chow either), and litter on a regular basis when I need to be paying off debt (I don’t even have a house, yet I have more debt than I make in year – before taxes. About double what I take home, and 90% of it student loans/car).

But my pets have never come close to the love my family or even friends. Yes, I got Sam mostly because I couldn’t bear the thought of him being locked up only to be euthanized later, but I would not have kept him my lifestyle didn’t easily accommodate a cat. I would have asked if someone was interested in a cat and if I couldn’t find someone put an ad in the classifieds. The fact that I didn’t want to spend $700 to obtain a pet before (even though I grew up with pets and know the joys of owning one), but rather have spent that on paying off debt, is probably pretty telling.

When/If I get married, I will not be against having a pet, but I definitely will not be encouraging one even though I personally like them. Already my life is busy, and if I had kids I wouldn’t have any time to give the animal the attention it needs. However, if my wife wants to stay at home and wants a pet to keep her company during the day, that would be great, or if my kids want a pet, I think they are great for teaching about responsibility and that caring for something (or someone), even if it doesn’t appreciate it (we do far more for our pets than they appreciate – some of the things we do for them they even hate [like vet visits or medicine]), is part of loving it, while at the same time giving them encouragement because many things the animal will appreciate and show affection to the child in return for their care.

Because of how much I do for my pet, it would be easier to show the differences between friends/family by what I would NOT do for my pet that I would do for a friend or family member.

1.      1. I would not risk my life for my pet, but there are several people I would do so gladly.

2.      2. I would not choose a pet if it meant a drastic change in lifestyle. I would happily reorient my world for family and some of my friends.

3.      3. If there is a life threatening crisis (i.e. fire), the animal would not even cross my mind until after everyone else was safe, and I would not let a fire-fighter risk their life for a pet, nor greatly endanger my own (i.e., if I knew where the animal was and could get to it without having to actually expose my body to flames or risk overly long smoke inhalation, I would get it out, and if I couldn’t reach it but there was a window outside to that room I would break it in a heartbeat, but I wouldn’t go somewhere I wasn’t 100% sure I could get back from).

4.      4. I would sell every possession I have and plunge myself into as much debt as creditors would let me if a family member had a chronic, life-threatening medical condition, but there is a limit to how much financial stress I would put on myself for a pet (I’d be willing to spend a good deal of money, but I would not risk my financial security for a pet).

5. I don’t “humanize” animals. No cute clothing, no calling them “baby” (I have used “buddy” occasionally), no marriage ceremonies, etc. Sometimes I think people actually do things their pet doesn’t like in trying to dote on them. Most animals I know HATE being dressed up.

I’ve heard some people call me cold because I don’t endanger myself for animals. It is my belief that humans, including myself, are worth more than animals. If I CAN care for an animal without harming myself, I will gladly do so. But if I CAN’T either 1) I won’t get one to start with or 2) if the pet has lived a full life, I am not going to ruin the next 15-20 years of mine to keep the pet for an additional 1-2. I believe part of getting a pet is understanding you are very likely to outlive it, and you must be ready to face the pain of letting go. Like I said at the beginning, animals should not take the place of human companionship. But, if animals could speak, I don’t think I single one would call me cold. Probably just the opposite.

Growing up, I spent more time with our pets than anyone else in our family, yet I was also the first one to suggest we put our dog down. My parents were shocked. I was always loving on him, letting him break rules (I never stopped him from jumping on me, much to my parents dismay, and I often would sneak him into the house if I wanted to play with him but it was too cold for me outside). But as I told my parents, “He’s so blind and deaf he jumps when we pet him because he never realized we were close! His legs aren’t working right, and all the procedures that could help him are incredibly expensive and will provide temporary and incomplete relief at best. It’s time to let him go.” I cried off and on for weeks, but I knew it was the right call.

I guess you could say my treatment of animals reflect my view on life. Never be afraid of your emotions. Feel them – all of them – the good and the bad. But don’t be guided by them.

“Live a life filled with passion that is guided by logic.”

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You were on point throughout your writing, and conveyed your point across easily. I absolutely agree with you. There is just a space that animals can not cross, and if the owner allows them to, it might not be healthy. As you say, "As great as they are, they are still animals, and can’t replace human companionship." We should love our pets, and we should do all that we can to properly care for them as a responsible pet owner. But we should never go to the extremes, such as risking our lives for them. Yes, we love them--and a whole lot! But no--we should not die for them! That should be reserved only for people, because as valuable as animals are, they will never be on the same level as a human being. And, really, it's a great shame if an animal comes to mind first instead of a family member, in the case of a fire at home, God-forbid (or any other life-threatening situation). However, I do call my cat "baby", but I use that word very loosely and I do not mean "daughter" when I say "baby" (I know some do consider that as theirs, but I think that's a little too far). That's a very loose word for me as I said--just as loose as I would say "Hey cutie" to just about any animal regardless if I saw it for 5 seconds, or have an actual bond with it. I might sometimes say "Mommy loves you" but I don't actually see myself as the "Mommy" (just as an animal lover who, for whatever reason at the moment, decided to say "Mommy loves you". When saying it, I like to see myself as someone who can be a kind of "mother" to them--one who loves them and must have every animal in the planet and care for them. It's not that I say it because I have personal reasons due to being so close to them and consider them my children. No way! I just use it loosely to mean I'll take up the duties necessary for the animal, and make sure the animal's happy. The universal animal care-taker and lover! Or as I say, a type of "mommy". But it has no deeper significance than what I just explained. But to admit, sometimes I feel really weird and don't even want to say it...then at other times, it's not so weird. And at times I'll pick and choose when and to what I'll say it too [say, to a cat, but not to a pet lizard. Then maybe a few days later I say to the lizard "Mommy loves you". It really is just used as a nicer term than saying "Your master and caretaker loves you" lol]. But one thing that's never weird for me is calling them cute nicknames/words such as "Baby" or "Honey". I have to admit, that is something that many [who also do not view their pets as their children] may not call their pets, but just for some reason I like to call them those things. But besides those words or sometimes labeling myself as "A Type of Mommy for the Animals" [or what I really mean when I say that: the "Grand Caretaker and Lover of All Animals"] that's as far as I'll go. I never go beyond that.)

I don't agree with people humanizing their pets. The reason why I don't humanize my pet is because she's a pet, an animal, and I shouldn't try to change her nature from animal to human. That's not what having a pet is for anyway; it's about having a furry companion in their nature who we love (and take care of) and not to try to change their nature by treating them as a human companion. My cat is part of my family, and every pet that I have will always be part of my family. But being a part of my family in some way does not mean I will do for them what I will do for my actual family (such as risking my life, buying them clothes, take the pet out to get their nails done [I think that is the most ridiculous], or other only-for-humans stuff). It just means that I adopt and welcome them in to join the comfort of living in my home and receiving love. But they're in their place as creatures living with my family--a part of my family's home-- but never being one with my family as if they were an actual human being.

That's just how I am concerning animals. But that does not undermine my love for them. I greatly love animals--but I keep them in their place.

I liked reading your comment, and absolutely love how you decided to end it with "I guess you could say my treatment of animals reflect my view on life. Never be afraid of your emotions. Feel them – all of them – the good and the bad. But don’t be guided by them. 'Live a life filled with passion that is guided by logic.'” Exactly!

That mirrors my perception and motto on life so very well.

I hope my comment was not too much, I just wanted to add what was in my mind to what you said.

Does having kids change how you feel towards your pets?

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The Mouse servant

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