What would you do? Sorry, long ventage!

Some of you know that I have been having problems with this jerk on my volleyball team and that I quit.

Anyways, I told him that I think he is mean, and that some people have complained about his attitude and now he is going around paging my friends, going to their house trying to find out who complained about him.

I can not tell him who did complain because this person saw him using his girlfriend as a punching bag, and thats why he quit the team that day. A total of 7 people have quit the team.

He also punched one of the girls on the team and in his search to find who complained about him, he sent her a message which she copied and pasted to me, he said something along the lines of "you know that when I punched you, it was just for fun" I had never said anything to him about punching anyone.

Do you think he is in a panic because I know his game? Why would someone so obsessively look for who complained to me? Should I say anything to him? I do have a copy of the conversation I had with him and I showed it to the girl I had been talking to - now he wants to visit her and show her a copy She asked if it was okay that she tell him she has already read it.

I have been there for his girlfriend so many times, through their problems - and I told her to kick him to the curb but she said he needs "love, understanding, patience, etc - especially after all the stuff he has done to her. He has even posted looking for a girlfriend on a dating site. While he is still in a relationship with her.

What would you guys do? I have put him on block on any IM's. But I am getting all these messages from others and I hate that he is doing that just to find out who complained.

Any ideas are so much appreciated.

Call the police and report the harrassment and get the person who saw him punch his girlfriend to report the abuse (if he's doing it in public you have no idea what he's doing in private, that woman's life is HELL). If they ask you if you want to file charges, say yes and get a restraining order! This man is out of control.

Believe me, I've been there with someone this crazy.

Have to agree with TTMom. Call the authorities. It sounds like he's not quite there and not to mention violent. Unpredictable situation. I'd let the authorities take care of things. And I'd think twice about speaking to him to it. He could easily decide that you started a campaign against him.

One more vote for TTMom's suggestion - this guy really needs to learn that an adult can't get away with pushing people around like a schoolyard bully.

I also agree with TTMom . . . that doesn't sound like a safe situation to be involved in. Call the authorities and let them handle it. And do your best to convince your friend who is his girlfriend to get away from him!

Sounds like you may need a restraining order. You will have to file an incident report, and go before a magistrate, but if he is someone that hits his girlfriend, that is bad enough, but hitting other women is just creepy for lack of a better word. People like that do not get any better, they are just bullies. It would help your cause if you could get at least one other person to do the same.

One more vote for going to the authorities.

Unfortunately, his girlfriend won't listen to your advice till she is ready. He'll hit her 1 time too many, and thats when she'll be ready to get out.

When you're being abused, mental abuse usually goes along with the physical abuse. Pretty soon you're telling yourself that its YOUR fault he's hitting you. If you had just cooked the right meal, cleaned the house better, been a better wife/mother/lover/person, he wouldn't have to correct you. The emotional abuse leaves scars that take much longer to heal...and sometimes never do. Besides, he always promises to change and sometimes does for a short time.

If you can't get the police to help immediately, see a lawyer. Sometimes having a lawyer at your side opens doors.

Thanks for your replies guys!

He has not hit me or anything (yet!) but what exactly can I call the cops on him for? Because he is harrassing other people, not me.

Originally posted by Kiwideus
Thanks for your replies guys!

He has not hit me or anything (yet!) but what exactly can I call the cops on him for? Because he is harrassing other people, not me.

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You should get the person who saw him hurt his girlfriend to report it.

This man sounds crazy. Try and stay away from him Kellye.

I agree...stay away from him, he sounds very dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt by him. Maybe the others who he is harrassing will turn him in. That is awful that he hits his girlfriend!

Originally posted by WellingtonCats
This man sounds crazy. Try and stay away from Kellye.

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How do I stay away from myself?

Originally posted by Kiwideus
How do I stay away from myself?

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LOL Sorry I made a mistake, I'll go back and edit it

Well, I have decided to stay away from him, I don't want him hurting me or anything, so I will stay away and if he continues to bother me, I have a friend who works in the sheriff's department that I can ask for advice on what I can do.

Thanks guys.

Originally posted by Kiwideus
Well, I have decided to stay away from him, I don't want him hurting me or anything, so I will stay away and if he continues to bother me, I have a friend who works in the sheriff's department that I can ask for advice on what I can do.

Thanks guys.

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That's great. Stay safe.

this is a guy hitting on girls and harrassing them, sounds like a bully to me, and they can be dangerous, so if i were you id try and stay away form him, but would diffently go to your friend on the Dept. and ask for advice if he continues to bug your friends and you... good luck and hope you stay safe...

See if you can get the woman whom he hit and the woman who saw him hit his girlfriend to file reports against him.

Sweets is right about the girlfriend, she won't report him. I lived with a guy for 4 years who beat the c4@p out of me and I didn't leave him till he kicked Toes, then I was out of there within 15 minutes. It's battered wife syndrome and it's NASTY!

Do what you can on your side, if he's making threats against you and you have witnesses, you should be able to get a restraining order. BUT if he doesn't know where you live I wouldn't do that just yet. Because my ex doesn't know where I live (he thinks I'm in Denver) the DA here said to not get a restraining order because it will tell him where I live.