Old Cat terrified of "New" Cat... After 2 years

Hi there,

I have a outdoor Tonkinese cat who has lived at my parents for years. I then had my own Burmese at my apartment, who was a indoor cat.

2 years ago I moved to a different country and had to take my Burmese to my parents.

All seemed well with the two cats, they didn't really seem to like each other but they could both sleep on the same sofa ect.

I have since returned home and my Tonkinese is bordering feral, it sleeps outside under a bush and doesn't come inside the house except to eat.

When it is eating it stops every few moments and looks around, looking for the other cat. Whether the cat is there or not.

My burmese is super friendly and cuddly and she does try and chase the Tonkinese, I don't think its a aggressive thing. But the older much larger tonkinese runs away and out of the house. We obviously try and stop this as much as we can.

The Tonkinese used to be friendly and sleep in the bed, on the sofa and enjoy humans. It now won't even let us pat it.

I am stuck and don't know what to do. 

WELCOME to TCS. Glad you found us and hope to help !!!

First question, and one we always ask, are both of the cat's neutered? If not, there in lies your answer to the issues. IF so, then there is just a personality difference between the two and they have never really bonded for what ever reason possibly because they were not introduced properly. Hard to say why. Some kitties will just never really get along well and will only tolerate each other. Since the two cats are indoor/outdoor, the chances of them bonding when introduced two years ago are going to be decreased if they were never properly introduced and just put together, if that was the case. Sounds to me that the Burmese came in and just took over. The Tonkinese, after two years, has just given up trying and since your return, this is what you are seeing. The Tonk just stays away and outside more and more, over time, becoming more withdrawn and possibly unhappy.

There were probably incidences between the two that your parent's did not notice since they do go outside as well. These negative encounters would cause more tension between the two, thus damaging their trust in each other. There is possibly other stray cats that come and go and this would cause major issues between two cats that are not really bonded living in the same territory making their relationship less than good and possibly destroying it all together. Little by little, I think, the Tonk has removed himself and the chances of him feeling safe to come indoors. He seems a bit stressed to me.

Things won't change unless you bring both cats indoors only and start over with introductions. Not sure this is even an option but that is the only way, IMO, that things will get better for your Tonk. He needs more love, attention, and to be doted on to help turn him around again. He may need his own safe room for a couple of weeks so you can spend tons of time with him, alone. If this is not possible to do indoors, then you will have to make an effort to spend time trying to befriend him and love on him outside. I feel for your little Tonk because I am sure he would love nothing more than to be able to come back inside the house and sleep on the bed, enjoy the humans, and feel the love. Making him an indoor cat only for a little bit with the Burmese, with proper introductions, is the only way to make this happen, I think. Otherwise, I think things will just stay the same and the Burmese will have control over the Tonk.

Helpful articles:
Introductions:
http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

Stress:
http://www.thecatsite.com/a/is-your-cat-stressed-out
http://www.thecatsite.com/a/six-surefire-strategies-to-reduce-stress-in-cats
http://www.thecatsite.com/a/potential-stressors-in-cats-the-ultimate-checklist