Feeling down.

Well, its been a year since my baby Zen crossed the bridge. I have spent most of today in tears. I cry for him often, along with crying for  my daddy. I don't really know how I have survived all this. I miss Zen terribly. He was the cat of my dreams. He was my child. He was my best friend. He was my soulmate cat. He was the the one male I have managed to keep a relationship with long term, except my daddy, who is gone too. I feel heartbroken and sad beyond words today. I took a nature walk yesterday and tried to feel his sweet kitty spirit in the air, but it was to no avail. He was not fond of the outdoors anyways. I miss his fur, so soft, his special kitty kisses, and his love. I have no other cat lovers around me. It hurts. Need some support...kind words...Feeling so down. Here is his photo...such a beauty...my little lovebug!

He was such a beautiful cat. I hope we can comfort you, but what can you say to someone who has a broken heart except I'm so sorry for your loss and DO understand what you are going through, I feel the same way about my loss too. The pain seems unending at times, and does return full force on those special days we spent with our loved ones. I think most of us just learn to live with the anguish and try to go on with our lives. I have to distract myself from going to that dark place, and try to remember the happy times and how much we meant to each other. I truly don't know what I would have done if I didn't have my other two demanding love and attention too. My heart goes out to you, please try to remember your sweet boy would never want you top be so sad when you remember him, he would want you to celebrate that you shared such a wonderful love. He'll remain in your heart forever and be with you always in spirit. Try to be gentle on yourself, take care.......sweet Zen, try to comfort your mommy in her time of need and know you are greatly loved and treasured forever!

Thank you so much. I do remember all the fabulous moments we shared. We were so lucky to have each other. He was born on my bed and I woke up to find the mama cat and six babies nursing. He was the only one who looked like him. He took to me immediately...and I adored him right back! I had longed for a kitty that was sweet and loving, as I had had other cats before that were cool but much more independent and even distant. HE was none of those. he was as loving and sweet and cuddly and loyal as could be. We went through so much together. Moves and relationships and even my Daddy passing suddenly and t///ragically just a couple of months before he himself had to pass. I fought like crazy to keep him alive...but it was not to be. He let me know it was his time to go. It was an awful day.

Now I have a new baby...he looks like Zen, almost exactly...but he is NOTHING like that sweet boy. Lalo is as different from him as night is from day. I love him of course...but its not the same...not even close. Of course I do not resent him for  not being like Zen...but sometimes I look at him and see a glimpse and just wish that perhaps he could channel his inner Zen??? Maybe...perhaps???

In any case it was a rough weekend...and I cried quite a bit...I REALLY appreciate your message. No one else had responded and that actually made me feel worse because last year when he passed I got lots of kind responses and was greatly comforted...yet no one said anything until now...and you are so very kind. Thank you and bless you.

Your new baby can never replace Zen, but he can help distract you from your pain if you let him. Try to make new memories with him, he loves and needs you. Your sweet Zen is at peace now, and will comfort you when you need it, just ask! In the meantime sweet little Lalo will try to help you mend that hole in your heart, but you have to let him in. Each cat is unique, you have to look for the good in Lalo and embrace it, even though it is different then your feelings for Zen. Like a mother with several children, you love them both, but for different reasons. My heart goes out to you, I'll say a prayer for you all to find happiness, please keep us posted on how you are doing.

I'm just now reading this, and I'm so sorry for your loss.  I'm feeling very blue myself tonight and missing my Darcy so much.  She's only been gone a little over a month, and we only got to know her for around two months. But something about that little girl just grabbed my heart and I don't know how to get over it.  Anyway, I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that Zen knew how much you loved him. And I totally believe that animals have souls, that he's probably still around you and will be until you go to meet him at the bridge.  In fact, he's probably somewhere very near you right now saying why are you so sad? I'm right here!

Thank you Misty...I hope he is. My sweet boy was super attached to me...so you are more than likely correct. What happened to your little Darcy? Such a cute name!

Zen was gorgeous.  I'm very sorry for the loss of your sweet cat.  Please don't be discouraged.  You are already a blessing to Lalo.  I have a feeling he will prove to be a blessing to you, too.  

Hi KittyKatGurl777,
I just now came across your post. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. Believe me, I do understand your pain. We love our kitty babies so much and it pains us when they get so sick and must leave us.
I lost my Mickey about six months ago, and not a day goes by that I don't think about him and miss him terribly. I cry about him often. He was my baby, my best friend. I got him when he was about six months old.I did everything I could to try and save him, but it was not to be. He passed last July at the age of thirteen. Like your sweet Zen, my Mickey was always there for me, even when my mom passed. My Mickey helped me survive so much and now he is gone. The pain of losing our Zen and Mickey can be unbearable at times.
I also have a new kitty. In fact, I have two now. Shadow and Mittens. I do love them both, and they are special in their own way. Can they ever replace Mickey? Of course not. I don't expect them to. Mickey is irreplaceable. My new babies do help though. They love me and need me just as your new baby needs you.
Your Zen will always be with you. He will remain in your heart forever!
Love your new baby Lalo. He loves and needs you. He can and will help you in your healing.
I like to think that my Mickey sent my new babies to love and comfort me.
Chances are, your Zen did the same with Lalo. He knew you needed a kitty to love and comfort you, so he sent you Lalo.
Take-Care!
I hope you are feeling better today!!

Here is a picture of Lalo...See how much he looks like Zen?

Thank you all for your kind words...They truly mean the world to me. I  feel a bit better tonight, I went to my grief group. They are wonderful people, many cat lovers and pet people there, They offered me comfort, hugs and kind words. I do adore my baby Lalo. He IS a blessing. I do love him and find him to be a huge blessing. That being said... I still miss my sweet beautiful Zen like crazy. He was truly perfection.  Lalo is getting better every day. We are learning more and more about each other. He is very particular about where he is touched. He gets mad and knocks EVERYTHING off wherever he is when he wants attention or food. He is much more Siamese than Zen...with much more spazzies and meezer attacks....He is a handful. but I love him too bits. Still...no kitty can ever replace my Zen, who was a ball of loving loyalty. I miss him so much it hurts.

On the one hand you have a hole in your heart and you feel empty - that's natural.  On the other hand, you opened your heart to Lalo and gave him a home.  You saved his life or, if his life was not at risk, another cat's was and adopting Lalo made room elsewhere for that other cat.  You did something wonderful for a stranger. 

I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear, sweet Zen.  I haven't been on this site in a while now.  I was on here constantly when I lost my dear Tabby in October, and could hardly bear the grief and sadness.  I came here tonight because I too, was feeling sad.  I don't think that time takes away the sadness and the loneliness we feel after such a terrible loss.  I still keep Tabby's picture in several rooms in my house, and hold his ashes close to my heart every day.  I haven't been able to remove his toys from his favorite spot in the house.  I know there are people who would find this strange, but it gives me a sense of comfort and eases the pain I feel.  I always told him he would live forever in my heart, and he does.  Your Zen will always live in your heart.  Hold his memory close and you will someday find smiles mixed with the tears.  

Thank you Cataan. I surely did...I rescued Lalo and another cat that was his companion cat named Tarzan was left behind when I got Lalo from the shelter...I campaigned desperately fro Tarzan to be rescued as well... and I finally succeeded just before he was to be put down...he too has a loving home now. Lalo is an amazing little cat. I love him to bits...but my Zen has left his paw prints on my heart forever...so will Lalo...so did my girl Mokey...my first cat I ever had...Its just that Zen was extremely special...but I will always be a cat owner...and even more so a cat lover...

KittyKatGurl777 said:

Here is a picture of Lalo...See how much he looks like Zen?
Thank you all for your kind words...They truly mean the world to me. I  feel a bit better tonight, I went to my grief group. They are wonderful people, many cat lovers and pet people there, They offered me comfort, hugs and kind words. I do adore my baby Lalo. He IS a blessing. I do love him and find him to be a huge blessing. That being said... I still miss my sweet beautiful Zen like crazy. He was truly perfection.  Lalo is getting better every day. We are learning more and more about each other. He is very particular about where he is touched. He gets mad and knocks EVERYTHING off wherever he is when he wants attention or food. He is much more Siamese than Zen...with much more spazzies and meezer attacks....He is a handful. but I love him too bits. Still...no kitty can ever replace my Zen, who was a ball of loving loyalty. I miss him so much it hurts.

Click to expand...

They look like brothers.  

I am so sorry you are going thru this.  Don't know where you live but those are unusual colors for cats here. Very pretty!  I understand your feelings about Lalo not being Zen.  Am afraid if/when I get another cat I will expect him to act like my Rizzo.  After time I hope that you develop that special bond with Lato that you had (& still have) with Zen.  His spirit is with you even though you can't see or feel him.  Take care & enjoy the good memories of Zen.  it's OK to cry even after 1 or 10 years of losing someone so loved.