"It's just a cat!"

I hear this statement a lot from friends and family who don't care about cats as much as I do, and it is really getting on my last nerve.

These are just a few examples of when I have heard this annoying statement:

--- My mother says it to me every time I take my cat with IBD to the vet.

---A lot of people have said it when I have gotten into discussions with them about what I feed my cats. They don't understand why I don't just buy the "cheap stuff" at the grocery store.

---My sister has said it when I have gotten angry about how roughly her sons handle cats.

---The worst has been the few times that I have had a cat die, and people don't understand why I am so upset because it is "just a cat" and I can get another one.

Does anyone else get really annoyed at this?

I guess I've kind of become numb to it.  About the only people I talk to about cats other than here are the people at the no kill shelter where I occasionally go to pet the kitties.  I am not actually a volunteer but they encourage people to come in and pet and play with the kitties.  A lot of the kitties are for all practical purposes permanent residents which is kind of sad.  It is a good place for a shelter, most of the kitties aren't caged and they have access to a large enclosed porch.  I couldn't bear doing the same thing at a high kill shelter.

I don't expect people to understand why I'm so concerned about keeping my cats happy and healthy, or why I worry so much about the feral cats I see. You either get it or you don't, and those who don't get it are missing out on something very special, I think.

It worries me when people use the "It's only a cat" line as an excuse for treating them roughly though. Cats are sentient beings, just as capable of feeling pain, fear or love as we are. People who say it's only an animal aren't that far removed from those who say "It's only a woman/Indian/beggar/Negro/slave" when trying to excuse the things they are doing.

Speciesism, like sexism or racism, needs to become a thing of the past.

I used to get really worked up about it, but now I'm kind of numb to it too. When I confided in one of my high school teachers (my favourite at the time) about my deceased lovebird and told her that I'd gotten her cremated, she laughed (laughed when I told her she died days ago) and said "why? it's just a bird!" and yet she herself has a dog that she dotes on as if she were a child.

Now I tell myself that these people are the ones losing. They don't know how to give, and in return, they will never get. They'll never know what it's like to be trusted and loved by an animal the way that we do. They won't know the fullness we feel when we bring an animal - any animal - into our hearts, just like we do humans, nor the emptiness that we feel when they're gone. The people who don't experience the sadness in their absence are the ones who have missed out on the happiness our pets bring, and it really is a shame for them. It's not our problem - it's theirs.

The people who really care about you will empathize, even if they don't feel the same way you do. My parents always, always, always tell me that I spend and invest too much into my cats and birds, but they have long shed the phrase "it's just a ____". They comment on it, but they don't belittle me for feeling the way I do because they know it's hurtful, not to mention rude.

It's just a living, sentient being, one who might have me wound around its paw but who depends upon me, trusts me and is happy and relaxed in my company. One who, yes, loves me. One who calms me down when I'm wound up, who warms my heart with gentle paws, who makes me smile when we play.

Yes, I guess "it's just a cat" is undeniably true, but I - and the cat - know it means a lot more than those few words convey.

I wish I could become numb to those comments but since I really only talk to family, it does hurt when they get angry at me for caring so much for my cat with IBD and my 6 feral cats. I have lost 3 feral cats and I lost my dog that was almost 14 years old, all with in a 3 year period. I was so heart broken and I got so depressed that I didn't leave the house for weeks and I couldn't stop crying.

They just didn't understand what I was going through. I'm crying just typing this. My family actually gets angry with me and tell me to grow up. I have been in counseling for years because of my family so I guess they wouldn't be any different now. I know longer talk to my family about any of my animals, it's just not worth the pain they cause me and my cats bring me such joy and they will never get that.

I'm sorry to read that Snugglecat. When I had to gather funds for an unexpected surgery (removing her eye before it ruptured), someone said it was just a cat and that we should just put her to sleep instead of spending over $500 on the surgery. It's heartbreaking and frustrating when they don't seem to understand, but also unfortunate that they don't even try to understand.

Besides that one person, the few people I talk to about animals are either animal lovers, or sensitive enough to be supportive even if they don't agree. IMO, if someone can't share their feelings in a calm, not-attacking way, they aren't really worth the time. lol

Snugglecat said:

 
I wish I could become numb to those comments but since I really only talk to family, it does hurt when they get angry at me for caring so much for my cat with IBD and my 6 feral cats. I have lost 3 feral cats and I lost my dog that was almost 14 years old, all with in a 3 year period. I was so heart broken and I got so depressed that I didn't leave the house for weeks and I couldn't stop crying.

They just didn't understand what I was going through. I'm crying just typing this. My family actually gets angry with me and tell me to grow up. I have been in counseling for years because of my family so I guess they wouldn't be any different now. I know longer talk to my family about any of my animals, it's just not worth the pain they cause me and my cats bring me such joy and they will never get that.

Click to expand...

It seems to me that your cats ARE your family, in more ways than your human relatives ever will be. Keep on loving them, everyone here understands how much you and the cats get out of your relationship.

pinkdagger said:

Now I tell myself that these people are the ones losing. They don't know how to give, and in return, they will never get. They'll never know what it's like to be trusted and loved by an animal the way that we do. They won't know the fullness we feel when we bring an animal - any animal - into our hearts, just like we do humans, nor the emptiness that we feel when they're gone. The people who don't experience the sadness in their absence are the ones who have missed out on the happiness our pets bring, and it really is a shame for them. It's not our problem - it's theirs.

Click to expand...

Well said.

These people are ignorant and have no souls. Just walk away from them even if they are family.

There are many people who don't get it. They are missing out . A couple years ago my beloved cat Ziggy died. Losing him really devastated me . Two days after that my step-son got into a terrible accident and that was also devastating. I remember seeing my family that week ( it was Easter) I confided in my sister-in-law my feelings about Ziggy's death. She looked at me as though I had horns on my head. She said I should not be thinking at all about my cat considering what had happened to my step-son. Gosh, I can walk and chew gum at the same time.

 The other day on Facebook I mentioned the practices of factory farms and how animals were treated. Someone commented that I should not " get all worked up about animals " until we straightened out all problems in the world concerning people. Really! Why do people always assume that if you care about animals you don't care about people?

My cat Leo died this past July. I didn't mention it to anyone who I wasn't certain would be understanding. I stand by my statement that the people who don't get it are missing out. I do not care if they all think I am nuts.

 I am not alone in the way I feel . I know this just reading this forum every day.

Hmmm... yah, I've heard this, from my mom even, who raised us with animals and was terribly depressed after her horse died.  I'm not sure if maybe people say this to desensitize themselves from their own feelings when things go wrong.  I've heard it from people in all walks of life; those more privileged and those less, city folk and ranch folk, older and younger... so it's hard for me to say where the attitude comes from.

My response varies. 

Most times I just ignore them.

Sometimes I just smile and say, "But it is MY animal, and I believe in taking care of MY things." 

Sometimes I'll turn the tables if I know they have a pet, "Oh?  And Chirpy over there is just a bird, right?" 

If I feel they are being particularly antagonistic,  I'll send it right back, "What? are you a psychopath, or just a ( )?"

I will say that birds are not my kind of pet, and neither are reptiles, rodents, or spiders; but I would never belittle anyone who does keep them as pets.  It's a simple matter of courtesy and respect.

When my 16 year old poodle died my s/l said the next time she saw me "are you over your little trauma?"

One time my brother came over to visit. He looked down at Tiger and said "there is nothing special about your cats". He is suppose to be a cat lover. Just makes me feel like me and my cats don't matter.

Unfortunately people who don't get it don't understand how important our kitties are to us.  They may not be purebreds or top show cats that are used for breeding,  they may not be worth anything in terms of money but they mean more than money to us.  It's like the Mastercard commercials about the really important things being priceless.

I remember the first time that Patches was really sick and was hospitalized for supportive care and tests one of the people at work didn't get it.  He said not only that he was just a cat but that I could open up my door and there would be another one just like him somewhere close by.

Everything above has been well said and my sentiments exactly. I have no use for people who cannot understand the love we feel for our pets. They are "family" and sometimes closer than human family. Our cats and dogs love us unconditionally! It's just so sad that we don't have them for a longer period of time. My Tony is just about 14 years old now, and thank goodness he's in good health. I hate to think of losing him sometime in the future - hopefully not for a long, long time. Tippy and Angel are a bit younger, since they were strays we're really not sure. They are my little blessings and I adore all 3 of them. They are definitely not "just a cat"!

Animals love us unconditionally, they don't care what we possess or what our 'status' is, they love US.They trust us with their lives and to take care of them as a valued family member, not as a 'throwaway' when they are inconvenient, but FOREVER. People that don't get that, or have never loved an animal like that, are to be pitied, they have missed out on a wonderful experience. I have mourned my pet's death more then any human, I was closer to her then any human, other then my husband. Thank God when she died I actually got cards and calls from my family, they knew what she meant to me. She didn't mean that to them, but they knew I was hurting and tried to help.I think there is something mentally wrong with people that stand by and watch an animal being abused, or do the abusing themselves, why do they think that animal cannot feel pain, or suffer like any living creature can? They have feelings and emotions too, not like ours maybe, but they do. They get cold and hungry, they feel pain and fear, they have brains, how could they not? The people that say "it's just a cat" are ignorant, they just don't know. Ignorant means they ARE capable of learning, however, and one day I pray they do. WE all 'get' what that love is, thank goodness, and I pray that one day the rest will join in. Don't ever be incapable of loving and caring for one of God's creatures, it can't be wrong.

If "It's Just a Cat" is true, then nobody ever told my heart. :nod:

Denice said:

 
Unfortunately people who don't get it don't understand how important our kitties are to us.  They may not be purebreds or top show cats that are used for breeding,  they may not be worth anything in terms of money but they mean more than money to us.  It's like the Mastercard commercials about the really important things being priceless.

I remember the first time that Patches was really sick and was hospitalized for supportive care and tests one of the people at work didn't get it.  He said not only that he was just a cat but that I could open up my door and there would be another one just like him somewhere close by.

Click to expand...

I know a guy who when Cindy was really sick and I happened to mention how much we were spending for her treatment told me that "vet visits are optional."  DH also has relatives who said snarky things when Cindy died and we were grieving (as we still are, really).  I have no respect for people like that, and it's even worse when they have pets of their one.  Why bother?

Misty8723 said:

 
I know a guy who when Cindy was really sick and I happened to mention how much we were spending for her treatment told me that "vet visits are optional."  DH also has relatives who said snarky things when Cindy died and we were grieving (as we still are, really).  I have no respect for people like that, and it's even worse when they have pets of their one.  Why bother?

Click to expand...

You can tell a lot about people just by their attitude towards animals, can't you? I've dumped boyfriends and friends over that.

I reply for those who say "It's just a cat" that you are just a human, if their argument contained some action I like to include that same action and ask how you would like if I would do same to you.

Usually I have found those discussions quite short and quite often they have just blank stare, but I don't really care, they are just humans and probably not very good example of that either