4 week old female kitten needs help

Long story short... I adopted a 4 week old kitten (Amber)  that survived a mass murder of dozens of other cats/kittens in a room. Her and her mother stayed hidden well. She is about 9 months old now and she still acts very skiddish and hisses and growls(never bites) at myself and my other kitten(Madeline) who is about 3-4 weeks older. When shes being held and cuddled on my lap shes a purry lil thing and enjoys the attn but I have to bribe her with treats or a toy just to catch her. When I try to let her roam while I'm home in (the only room they are both allowed in) she bites on everything and is destructive, knocking things over, chewing on stuff that can hurt her or fall on her. I play with them as much as I can. They get 2 meals of dry kibble a day plus a few treats daily. The other kitten is very calm and loves to just be held cuddled and petted. I need help with my skiddish kitty. Anyone have any ideas for her and I to become better friends?

Gwenne

Gwenne said:

 
Long story short... I adopted a 4 week old kitten (Amber)  that survived a mass murder of dozens of other cats/kittens in a room. Her and her mother stayed hidden well. She is about 9 months old now and she still acts very skiddish and hisses and growls(never bites) at myself and my other kitten(Madeline) who is about 3-4 weeks older. When shes being held and cuddled on my lap shes a purry lil thing and enjoys the attn but I have to bribe her with treats or a toy just to catch her. When I try to let her roam while I'm home in (the only room they are both allowed in) she bites on everything and is destructive, knocking things over, chewing on stuff that can hurt her or fall on her. I play with them as much as I can. They get 2 meals of dry kibble a day plus a few treats daily. The other kitten is very calm and loves to just be held cuddled and petted. I need help with my skiddish kitty. Anyone have any ideas for her and I to become better friends?

Gwenne

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wait, I dont understand really.  So you have rescued this kitten of 4 weeks and her mom, 9 months, correct?   And you have also a resident, tame kittens of about 8 weeks yes?  And the resident is cuddable no problems, its the others who are problems with?

Please, tell again slowly, which of them is which problem, so even I can understand it.

Its difficult to come with smart advices if I cant adress them properly...

Btw, the 4 weeks is probably somewhat older, If I understand that right.  Those who are somewhat malnutriced, tend to look smaller.

Also, dry twice a day is little, unless its dry for kittens, and so much its left the rest of the day to next meal.

Also, YOU coming in with food will be a great help, so come in with food more often...

Please, fill in your report, we will answer as best we can.

Good luck!

No I adopted just amber. Her mother found another home.

Both kittens get the same amount of food and one is fat.

Amber is 9 months now...

Ok, I see. So its one adopted kitten at 4 weeks, who is now 9 months.  The other, somewhat older, you dont have problems with.  Its the one who is fat?   What is fat to you?   I mean, healthy cats are supposed to have some meat on them, unless they belong to breeds which are supposed to be sleek and gracile.

Also, its natural of kittens to be somewhat round. - its perhaps the other who hasnt "meat" enough??

What brand do you use of dry?  What Im after, what ingredients there are, and the percentages of protein, fat, kolhydrates, and how much is animal proteins and fat, and how much is vegetabilian protein and fats...

The rest I will try and write about tomorrow, its late in the evening here now and Im sleepy....   If it were a real emergency, I would write on, but this can surely wait to tomorrow too.  

@Gwenne

StefanZ said:

Ok, I see. So its one adopted kitten at 4 weeks, who is now 9 months.  The other, somewhat older, you dont have problems with.  Its the one who is fat?   What is fat to you?   I mean, healthy cats are supposed to have some meat on them, unless they belong to breeds which are supposed to be sleek and gracile.
Also, its natural of kittens to be somewhat round. - its perhaps the other who hasnt "meat" enough??

What brand do you use of dry?  What Im after, what ingredients there are, and the percentages of protein, fat, kolhydrates, and how much is animal proteins and fat, and how much is vegetabilian protein and fats...

The rest I will try and write about tomorrow, its late in the evening here now and Im sleepy....   If it were a real emergency, I would write on, but this can surely wait to tomorrow too.  

@Gwenne

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im not really searchinh for diet advise on my chunky cat. I need advise for my skiddish cat. Thanks anyway.

So it's Amber who is skittish.. you got her at 4 weeks and she's now 9 months old?

Yes Amber is my only concern right now. I listed more since it had to do with her living situation and i want to know if i need to change anything(not diet) to make her more friendly and not wild. I have started free feeding Amber and shes doing well with that but i cant free feed her around my other cat Madeline because Madeline with just keep eating non stop.

Gwenne said:

 
Yes Amber is my only concern right now. I listed more since it had to do with her living situation and i want to know if i need to change anything(not diet) to make her more friendly and not wild. I have started free feeding Amber and shes doing well with that but i cant free feed her around my other cat Madeline because Madeline with just keep eating non stop.

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Yes, I really understand that problem!  I usually put my girl in a separate room for a while to feed to stop the boy from being a glutton.

Have you tried Feliway as a 'settler'? They come in sprays and diffusers. There are also calming collars using the same pheromones, but a haven't had experience with them.

So your suggesting calming spray for Amber?

It's worth a go.. the diffusers are good but you need a few if you need to cover a lot of territory.

But we have people who have a lot of experience with semi-ferals.  I'm hoping they'll be along soon.

Thank you very much for your help! I will be looking into getting something to calm her.

Feliway isnt really a calming device. It their feel well, comfortabe,  nice and harmonious device.  Its alike one of their face FEROMONES, which they themselves spread about, by rubbing their faces on people and things.   Essentielly one of these FEROMONES, copied and made in the factory.

Yes, I agree, Feliway is worth trying.  You can get it in a well sorted pet store, your vet, but the cheapest will probably be if you buy at Amazon or Ebay.  If you will use it more then one dose, it willbe worth this small extra effort.

I hear you dont want to talk diets.  But still, as it is one of your problems, I think this is important here., may even be one of the keys to the situation.

Most people do the easy way. When they are in their food shop buying food, the go also to the cat shelf, and buy "Food for cats".   Which dry food typically contains lotsa of carbohydrates, mainly ceereals.   Ann carbohydrates arent the cup of tea for cats!  Cats are carnivores ie "meat-eaters", and their need for carbohydrates is at most a few procent, not half of the food.   They get fatsy from excess of carbohydrates, and its not healthy to their kidenys either in the long run.

Compare with the LCHF dief for humans.   LCHF would be excellent for cats!

Also, when a cat begins to be fat, you want to cut down the fat contains, no?  And thus you are extra eager to buy dry food with reduced fat, no?   The problem is, when the cheap brands reduce fats, they dont compensate by increase the contents of animal proteins, but they increase the - yes, content of carbos, and often even - cereal carbos...

And thus the negative spiralle goes on....More fat produced.   And also, the cat MUST eat more and more and is hungry, because its the only way to get enough of proteins and fats...

Changing to a high quality dry, or even better, canned wet food - causes the cat to eat less.   And slowly, to get less and less obese...

I guess this is the problem with Madeline.  But possibly its part of the problem with Amber too, it may be why she is so eager to chew on everything...

Gwenne said:

. When shes being held and cuddled on my lap shes a purry lil thing and enjoys the attn but I have to bribe her with treats or a toy just to catch her.
Gwenne

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Not all cats are fond of "being catched", or spontaneously seeking out cuddles.   Especielly as kittens.   Although it usually get better when they grow older, they become more fond of being cuddled.   So, try to wait out the situations when she voluntarily comes forward!    You can use treats, before or even better, after, if you wish.  But it must be her will which is your signal.

I take as an example my oldest resident.  He was born inside, and was properly raised, no traumatic experiences or anything.  He is a nice family fellow and member, has always been, but is quite shy to strangers.  He can sometimes even react to us - although he knows we love each other!

In fact, his behavior learned me much about the shyness of adopted and fostered ex-semiferales.   Which led me to belive, the fostered semiferales arent behanving like they do, because they are ex-semiferales, but essentially, they behave so because they are shy...

So, him neither was fond of being carried as youngster,  nor being a lap cat, although we could notice by many small signs he liked oss, and our company.  The trick to cuddle him was to wait when he was  laying comfortably on a sofa.  In that moment we could cuddle him.  It become so far after with time, when he noticed we looked lovingly at him, and were apparently wanting to cuddle some, he jumped up on the bed or a chair, layed down comfortably - and then we could cuddle a good while... 

And we knew he liked it, or at least, accepted it, because when he tired, he just went away.  Or even hissed a little or snapped with his teeth (but never ever biting for real).

As said, being older he become more and more cuddable, He is no lapcat, but he loves to sleep at our legs when we are laying down or sleeping...

There are many signs he likes us.  Yawning, streching, looking on us with half closed eyes...  Wanting to cuddle...

And carrying?  As said, he was never fond of it.  So the trick when we managed to take him up, was to soon enough release him.  At very latest when he begins to wriggle uncomfortably, but preferably before it.   This way, he learned it was OK to be carried sometimes, it was no discomfort nor displeasure, he would be always let down,  before it become really uncomfortable.

After some years I noticed he apparently liked it to be held to the chest sometimes, spinning and relaxing at least several seconds...  And the while become longer and longer, although to this day its never longer than a couple of minutes as longest...

I think you will come long with these tips.

Completed with the Feliway diffuser.

And possibly, changing the food diet - preferably having canned wet as the main course, and some decent dry food as fill up.

Good luck!

StefanZ said:

 
I hear you dont want to talk diets.  But still, as it is one of your problems, I think this is important here., may even be one of the keys to the situation.

Most people do the easy way. When they are in their food shop buying food, the go also to the cat shelf, and buy "Food for cats".   Which dry food typically contains lotsa of carbohydrates, mainly ceereals.   Ann carbohydrates arent the cup of tea for cats!  Cats are carnivores ie "meat-eaters", and their need for carbohydrates is at most a few procent, not half of the food.   They get fatsy from excess of carbohydrates, and its not healthy to their kidenys either in the long run.

Compare with the LCHF dief for humans.   LCHF would be excellent for cats!

Also, when a cat begins to be fat, you want to cut down the fat contains, no?  And thus you are extra eager to buy dry food with reduced fat, no?   The problem is, when the cheap brands reduce fats, they dont compensate by increase the contents of animal proteins, but they increase the - yes, content of carbos, and often even - cereal carbos...

And thus the negative spiralle goes on....More fat produced.   And also, the cat MUST eat more and more and is hungry, because its the only way to get enough of proteins and fats...

Changing to a high quality dry, or even better, canned wet food - causes the cat to eat less.   And slowly, to get less and less obese...

I guess this is the problem with Madeline.  But possibly its part of the problem with Amber too, it may be why she is so eager to chew on everything...

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I know every time I mention my cats for any reason, diet is mentioned like I'm not feeding them properly. ENOUGH. I have grown up with all sorts of animals (including cats) my entire life and I am sick of people telling me what food is right for my animals. You have no clue what I'm feeding so you have no right to tell me what I'm doing wrong. The food I feed them is a well balance expensive grain free (meat filled) diet with everything they need to be healthy. I will not give you my opinion about wet food since I've already expressed my dislike towards this subject. It was my bad for mentioning how many meals I feed my cats. I was trying to show before you made a big deal out of nothing that their diet is not the issue here. I am sorry but I can't just let your comment go without a response. This cat has been through hell and back as a newborn and I am trying to make her feel like she is part of the family and it is getting hard. So I found this site hoping for a useful answer and I got one. Thank you for your time.

@Gwenne  , I have kept an eye on this thread and saw that you have great advice coming from @StefanZ  and @Mani  already, and no need for me to add in to their advice.

After reading your reply to StefanZ's mentions about diet, I thought I would say a little something.

I am not sure why you felt offended by discussing diet and seem to feel angry.

I don't see anywhere that anyone stated you are feeding wrong. It was just offering some possible tips, that's all.

All of our advisors here are extremely caring, compassionate people. We offer our advice to help, not offend anyone.

We are NOT paid, and do this on our own time, we research, discuss, and support as best we can out of our own compassion for others and their cats according to our personal knowledge through experience.

So that said, please understand that getting upset and frustrated with our advisors is unfair and undeserved.

Good luck with your cat.

I've had a good deal of success socializing strays, ferals, and semi-ferals by spending regular time playing with them, separately and together. Wand toys are great interactive toys, and it's possible to engage both cats with play at the same time to help them bond. Cat nip toys are also irresistible to many cats. Some cats who have been traumatized may never become friendly lap cats, though--that's the reality of the situation. I took in a 10 month female feral a year and a half ago who had been shot by someone and who consequently walks with a limp. She also had many other health issues. She has zero interest in returning outside to life as a feral, but she still doesn't enjoy being petted and panics when I have to pick her up for some reason. She does, however, love to play with me and a wand toy, and she sleeps on my bed sometimes. I love her for who she is and am happy to have rescued her. So your skittish kitty may never be a fully domesticated cat. That doesn't take away from the fact that you rescued her and are giving her a good life.

I can only speak from my experience with taking in rescue cats who had previously been traumatized and/or malnourished. Some of them have ongoing issues with food because they were used to having to scavenge for food and always feeling hungry. I leave dry food out all day for them so there is no anxiety on their part. A few are a little chubby, but in good health. The last stray I took in had a bad parasite and flea infection, and even after that cleared up, was jumping in my kitchen garbage can and tearing into my bags of bread and my butter dish until it finally registered to him (after 3 months) that food is always available in my house and he didn't need to stress or compete with the other cats for it. Rescue cats are different from cats who have been raised properly as kittens. Please don't get upset because people are bringing up the food issue as a possible source of anxiety for your rescue cat because this has been the experience of many of us, and all we have to offer you is our experience. 

I understand. Thank you for your advise.