heartbroken, discouraged, tired and need advice

Ahh, yes it is good news, he is coming around again, and before you know it he will be back trusting you again and inside where you want him!

That's good news!!

Thanks for the good wishes.

Things are different, though...black kitty comes around only at night, after 10 pm or so, and eats. I stayed up last night to see him, he acted odd. He is smelling the yard closely and for long periods of time, and is crying, like he's in heat. He goes round and round the yard. I saw him spray a tree....he's been fixed now for 3 weeks, I don't understand why he is doing this. He's smelling all the places she sits in the yard. If it's because of his gf, then why isn't he with her in the daytime? She lives in the yard at the shelter, although it's covered up so well with a blanket maybe he can't find her?

Female gf  kitty (at least I think so, I'm guessing...she has too much fur to see) took up residence in the shelter in my yard and practically lives there. She comes out to eat, and goes back there. It's not that cold out, 50's or so....is this normal? Black kitty had something small in his mouth last night, thought maybe a rat, my scare is that it's a kitten...can kittens be born this time of year, instead of spring?

Any thoughts of what might be happening here? And why black kitty only comes at night now when he used to hang in my yard in the day, or at least visit? I'm very concerned about his crying, but he doesn't seem like he wants to come in.

It's common when a cat has a mouse or other that he caught to cry and carry on. That may be what he was doing.

I made feral shelter and kept it up against my house and fed them right by the back door. That was after they were bothTNR'D, they live inside with me now.

That's great, bonepicker...how did you get them to be inside only cats?

After reading all the stories here I realized how fortunate I am to have tamed my kitty so quickly. I have been in my house only 4 months and Sox was a stray in the area when I moved in. I started feeding her outside then one night it was very cold and I felt like I couldn't leave her outside so I coaxed her in with food and kept her inside that night. I was a little worried that I had no litter box and she might go on the floor but at least she was warm. That first night she hid in my closet and didn't potty inside but she woke me at 6am sitting by the door meowing and scratching at the carpet. I let her out and as soon as she got outside she dug a hole and went potty. At first, she would only come in once in awhile when it was cold but now she comes in and out all the time. She sleeps with me every night. She's been living with me for about 2 months now and still doesn't have a litter box but lets me know when she needs to go out. If she is outside when I leave she'll be waiting at the door for me. I love her so much and am so happy to have her company. She is my first kitty. She doesn't let me hold her or lay in my lap but I hope she will soon.

catsoul said:

That's great, bonepicker...how did you get them to be inside only cats?

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Slowly put dish inside the door.

beautifuleyes said:

After reading all the stories here I realized how fortunate I am to have tamed my kitty so quickly. I have been in my house only 4 months and Sox was a stray in the area when I moved in. I started feeding her outside then one night it was very cold and I felt like I couldn't leave her outside so I coaxed her in with food and kept her inside that night. I was a little worried that I had no litter box and she might go on the floor but at least she was warm. That first night she hid in my closet and didn't potty inside but she woke me at 6am sitting by the door meowing and scratching at the carpet. I let her out and as soon as she got outside she dug a hole and went potty. At first, she would only come in once in awhile when it was cold but now she comes in and out all the time. She sleeps with me every night. She's been living with me for about 2 months now and still doesn't have a litter box but lets me know when she needs to go out. If she is outside when I leave she'll be waiting at the door for me. I love her so much and am so happy to have her company. She is my first kitty. She doesn't let me hold her or lay in my lap but I hope she will soon.

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• beautifuleyes
• Jan 19, 2015

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Make sure vet deworms her and applys flea meds, rabies shot and spays her.

catsoul said:

 
Thanks for the good wishes.

Things are different, though...black kitty comes around only at night, after 10 pm or so, and eats. I stayed up last night to see him, he acted odd. He is smelling the yard closely and for long periods of time, and is crying, like he's in heat. He goes round and round the yard. I saw him spray a tree....he's been fixed now for 3 weeks, I don't understand why he is doing this. He's smelling all the places she sits in the yard. If it's because of his gf, then why isn't he with her in the daytime? She lives in the yard at the shelter, although it's covered up so well with a blanket maybe he can't find her?

Female gf  kitty (at least I think so, I'm guessing...she has too much fur to see) took up residence in the shelter in my yard and practically lives there. She comes out to eat, and goes back there. It's not that cold out, 50's or so....is this normal? Black kitty had something small in his mouth last night, thought maybe a rat, my scare is that it's a kitten...can kittens be born this time of year, instead of spring?

Any thoughts of what might be happening here? And why black kitty only comes at night now when he used to hang in my yard in the day, or at least visit? I'm very concerned about his crying, but he doesn't seem like he wants to come in.

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About half of my fixed boy cats spray when they are outside. There are a few spots around the enclosure that get hit every time they go past. One of my female cats sprays too. I think they're just letting each other know who is around. Thankfully none of them spray indoors.

It's very unlikely that Black Kitty would be carrying a kitten around, but not impossible for kittens to be born in the winter. Did his GF ever look like she was pregnant? Now would be the perfect time to get her spayed, she'll be in heat soon and if there are suddenly a lot of amorous tom cats around Black Kitty might get scared off.

I agree with Catwoman707, he probably had a rat. My cats make a lot of noise whenever they catch something too.

Good to know. I'll be trapping female kitty next weekend or the one after that...I'm still watching what is happening with them so I don't trap one while the other is watching. Appears the morning is when she is by herself and when she comes to eat; he's not around till evening.

The female kitty is very long haired, and I'm only guessing it's a girl because there's too much fur to see. Not sure if she's pregnant because of the fur as well. Interestingly, the dynamics have changed...black kitty would always come running when I call, and now she's the one who comes (not running, but cautiously). He's with her and hangs back and looks at me; it was always the other way around. All was good with him until I tried to grab him as he ate. That was it because he was fine even after the neuter and after I let him leave the house.

I think I could trap her easily, but I think he is very smart and probably won't go in the trap. My goal would be to keep both of them if they would allow it. I think it's workable if they want to stay in with each other, but I sure am rethinking catching black kitty and keeping him inside; while he's quite tame, I think he would have a hard time without his friend and seeing her through the window everyday while she eats at the stoop. Either both of them together or none. I did, after all, cave and let him out for that very reason.

Anyway, will trap her soon, I don't want any kittens around for sure. Not looking forward to it, because it stresses me out to see an animal in a cage. Can't even go to the zoo for that reason, it makes me too sad.

Any thoughts on how to start to win back black kitty's trust? I don't go out there when he's eating and don't open the patio door because I don't want to scare him any more than I have, but I also want him to get used to me again, so I think I need to interact somehow or another. Even if he never becomes an indoor kitty, I sure miss the way he would talk to me and rub against me, and come bounding when I would call for him. I don't see him wanting to come inside for food at this point. Any thoughts would be appreciated on this.

Have a good nite, all!  Hoping all your kitties tonight are warm and snug  

I would start by talking to him. Then showing yourself at a distance, through a door or window while continuing to talk to him. . It's pretty much a reacquainted type thing, regaining his trust actually.

You will, it takes time. He won't stay this way for good, and I do agree, both or none inside is best.

Narachan is right - while kittens are relatively unusual this time of year, they're not unheard of. The shelter I work with currently has 5 little ones, and throughout the winter seems to always have at least 1 or 2…often more. Her behavior does sound like it could be pregnancy behavior - but it's hard to tell. If she HAS had kittens, getting them the minute they're weaned is perfect for socializing - - and then she can be spayed right away. Otherwise - she can become pregnant very quickly. Kittens can become pregnant as young as four months!

Now chances are - it was a rat or something - they do enjoy carrying on when they've got "a prize." But if his "girlfriend" has had kittens, or is pregnant he may be marking and being extra vocal to tell all the other males to get the heck away! Try to keep a close watch for any sign of kittens!

I know - just what you wanted

Thank you for your memories of your tomcat, Alphacat   I also adopted a tomcat, a stray.  Sometimes I wish that I had not neutered him.    He was spraying but maybe if I had worked with him he would have stopped.

tmccr said:

Thank you for your memories of your tomcat, Alphacat   I also adopted a tomcat, a stray.  Sometimes I wish that I had not neutered him.    He was spraying but maybe if I had worked with him he would have stopped.

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I cant imagine a way you could work with him to have him stop...I may be wrong, but I hear its pretty ingrained. Sometimes after neutering too. I would say that you did the best thing healthwise for him. Especially so if he is outside at all...a must.

Hey guys...I think I gave the wrong impression. Black kitty was carrying on like he was in heat about thirty minutes or so before I saw him with the mouse. He was circling the yard and crying and looking...maybe to find his gf I think.

Oh yes..kittens...I sure hope not! They sadly would not make it. Theres a half a foot of snow tonite and very cold...

Oh...I have to say that it is very cute to watch them eat. He always lets gf eat first and finish while he waits close to her. When she is done he will eat whatever she may leave. Sooo adorable. Ive seen indoor kitties of mine with a tight bond but never outdoor ones. In the summer he would go wherever she would go....uh oh. Yeah he was not neutered then. Hmm...not good!