Goodbye Reesee

I said goodbye to my 14 yo tortie tonight. I came home from work to find she couldn't walk and was holding her head funny. She was diagnosed with hyperT back in Aug. and 8 years ago was diagnosed with a heart condition. We'd been struggling to control her thyriod levels with medication. ER vet was perplexed by her symptoms. The weakness was in her front legs and not her hind legs. And she seemed aware and alert. Vet thought she probably threw a blood clot or it was neurological. Neither diagnosis had a good chance for a strong recovery. And, it would cost $2,000 just to try to diagnose her problem.

I felt the last 5 months have been rough on her and didn't want to prolong her suffering. Maybe it was premature to put her to sleep but I just didn't see her getting better.

I have a lot of guilt about how little attention and affection she has gotten from me the last 4 years or so. I worry that our other cat who has been with her for 13 years will be sad and lonely.

Thanks for listening.

You loved your cat very much and because of that you made the right decision. She knows you loved her and were with her when you could be. I'm so sorry for the loss of your kitty.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my kitty to a blood clot in Oct.   Similar symptoms to yours.  My vet also gave a grim diagnosis for recovery, and my cat had been battling heart disease for 2 yrs.  I had to make that same painful decision.  There's always guilt.  Please don't beat yourself up over it.  It's obvious you loved your pet very much.  You did the right thing by letting her go before she went through a lot of painful suffering.  She is at peace.

Thank you. 

I'm so very sorry for the loss you have suffered. I know all about the guilt that follows, but want you to know it is definitely a part of the grieving process. You gave your precious baby the ultimate act of love, an end to the suffering, and took on her pain as a broken heart. There was no 'cure', her suffering would have been nothing but worse. You gave each other love and devotion for 14 years and have a bond that will never be broken, she will be in your heart forever and never far from your side in spirit. Please know I cry with you and will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers, take care....... RIP beautiful Reesee!

I'm very sorry for your loss. We lost our last cat to HCM nearly 2 years ago; in the months preceding that we were constantly asking ourselves whether it was "time" to let him go. At the time, his cardiologist told us that blood clots took most cats with heart conditions sooner or later, and I lived in fear that he would throw a clot when nobody was home and suffer. Second-guessing yourself is perfectly natural under the circumstances, but waiting longer would have meant simply delaying the inevitable for your baby.

RIP, Reesee.

I know just how you feel, but you made the right decision for your Reesee. We just had to make that decision last week ourselves, for our Blue Grand. I thought maybe if I had done something different, but, the truth is, after talking with a well knowledged friend, that we made the right decision for him. She shared how she had a cat suffering from the same disease as Blue and how much he was in pain. That made me feel a great deal better.

There is always that reasonable doubt, but, in the long run, we as their care givers, know what is right for our companions, and they let us know, although, some times, we just don't listen because we want to keep them with us for a lifetime-ours. But that is just not feasible, in most cases.

You have my prayers and support.

Thanks, everyone.  Your personal stories help.

Here is a pic of my pretty kitty.  I loved her one "peanut butter" paw which is how I came to give her the name Reesee.  She was a feisty little thing but me and her got along just fine.

What  a beautiful girl. I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers go out to you during this difficult time.

I have first-hand experience with treating HCM.  Back in late 2008 Flash was found under a chair and refusing to come to breakfast.  Flash lived for breakfast so something was very wrong.  He was rushed to the vet who, after a few minutes, said he was in grave condition and dying. What?!?!?!  His front right paw was cold to the touch and his heart was beating poorly - the diagnosis was a blood clot in the paw.  He was taken to the emergency vet and the clot was dissolved.  He spent five days in an oxygen cage and, shortly after returning home, had to have a portion of his paw amputated because -- it was necrotic because of the loss of blood and would poison him if not removed.  He was put on a number of different medications including aspirin, lasix, plavix, and one other to assist with the electrical activity of his heart.  For the first six months or so we was fine, but then he started having problems.  Basically, though the meds assisted his heart and helped to prevent clots from forming, the cardiac cells were still deteriorating because HCM is a genetic disease and cannot be cured.  He ended up being taken to the emergency vet three times for micro clots and, eventually, his heart weakened to the point where it simply wasn't beating strongly enough to move blood sufficiently to prevent fluid from leaking into his pulmonary system.  In other words, he was drowning on his own plasma.  His chest was drained and we gave him 24 hours HOPING that he would miraculously recover.  He was fine for 12 hours but then became lethargic, hid in the litter box, and for the first time ever refused to take his meds and even lashed out biting to avoid taking them.  He was euthanized that evening but, due to work and traffic, it was much later than would have been preferred, and I know he was suffering.  He was laying under a bench, on his side, wheezing, with a sad, tired look on his face.  I regret not having euthanized him the day before when his chest was drained.

Was it all worth it?  Were 16 months worth it?  I'd say the first year was worth it, but the last four months I know he was not happy, going to the emergency vet so many times, being on a yo-yo of pain and discomfort.  The thing is, he was lucky to get 16 months -- that is longer than most cats who have such advanced HCM.  So, if he had only gotten 8 months, and 4 of them were bad, I can't say it would have been worth it.  You never know how much extra time the cat will get.  What you do know is that no matter how much treatment you provide, no matter how much it costs, it will not cure the disease and he will eventually suffer, especially if you become hopeful about his condition rather than remaining realistic while you provide the treatment.  And it isn't cheap.  From the initial hospitalization all they way to his death, that 16 months cost about $30,000.

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl! My condolences for your loss!

I too am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful girl... and I wholeheartedly am in agreement you did the right thing at the right time. We made that decision for ours to put her down before she began to suffer... I wanted her to go to sleep feeling pretty much like herself instead of waiting until she began to suffer. xo

I am very sorry for your loss and it is so hard to judge  the right day.  We want to keep our babies until the very last minute.  I was just thinking that I could have kept my boy until Tuesday after I did it on Monday.  Then I remember that he was uncomfortable Sat. and think I was right not to wait. Just know that when you love someone and do the best for them you can; it can never be wrong.   I have not even had a pet at home since leaving my parents 40 years ago.  Have had my 30 yr old horse for 25 yrs and love him dearly but he does not sleep with me or greet me when I get home.  This was my first time putting a pet to sleep & for all all my planning I had not ever witnessed it and wish I had.  Your Reesee was beautiful and those little tortie girls are know for their "attitude". 

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Reesee. She sure was a beauty! I know your pain and wish I had some magic words to help ease your pain. Remember you shared 14 wonderful years together and she knew she was loved. She will remain in your heart forever.
RIP Sweet Reesee!
Have fun playing with my kitty Mickey, who passed last July.

She was a beautiful girl. I love her peanut butter paw too! I too had to put my gorgeous boy to sleep in fear he would die alone and lonely. No one could really figure out what was wrong with my little Zen. I know it was hard, and makes you feel awful, but trust me, you did the right thing. It is truly the ultimate act of love. Come here and talk with us anytime. If you need extra help  grieving reach out to us. I know it is difficult right now, but try to remember the good times, and all the sweet moments you shared with her. Know that you gave her a good life and a  peaceful passing. Hugs to you, and comfort. RIP beautiful Reese.