Did I make the wrong choice? (long)

Well, that's the thing, if you sell "it" you will probably drive away a lot of potential good homes.  And it would be deemed unethical, as well.  You can charge an "adoption fee" but you shouldn't make it more than $50.  I wouldn't.  People will view you as a shady back yard breeder.  You shouldn't even think about trying to get your money back.  That's not going to happen and in itself is very shady.  You won't be able to find him a home, a good home, with this mentality and attitude.

Given that you are not feeling physically up to par and the fact that the time has been so short, I encourage you to wait a couple of weeks and see if it gets better and if you bond.  A pet is a lifetime commitment.  And the kitten deserves a chance at least.  Not only will rehoming him cause him more stress, it will also be harder for him to trust and take him longer to get used to them, as well. 

Ah! Sorry for harping on a point that so many people had already made. Honestly, Ziggy sounds like a neat, intelligent kitten. My love of my life cat (the freaked out foundling) had a similar way of studying me and responding to me, and he and I ended up with a beautiful, unique, communicative relationship. He's the just about the best thing that ever happened to me. I hope you and Ziggy can have something similar - the way you've described him makes me really hopeful for you.

And I understand where your expectations came from. It's clear that you planned for this kitten for a long time, and did an extraordinary amount of research. Unfortunately, breed descriptions aren't promises. Even so, your kitten may surprise you! What I hear is that he's shy, curious, and very interested in you, and those sounds like the ingredients necessary for the kind of cat you were hoping for. Just give him some time to feel secure with his new home and his new family. He'll come around to purring and playing.

.flowerdew, I didn't know I had unrealistic expectations, and I actually think it has calmed me down a bit to know that the entire cat situation is not supposed to be perfect. I'm glad you believe in me, and in all of this having a happy ending. I'll come back later to make some updates on my final decision

@ZiggyStardust11  I am coming in to this thread rather late but am really moved by your situation and everyones thoughts on what to do.  Not least because I share my life with a Russian Blue having bought him from a breeder as my first experience in pedigree cats.   My life was relatively calm when  I adopted him but later that year and for a year or more afterward it was anything but and I learned what effect my emotions had on him:  as I got more anxious and unwell Mouse became stressed and sick too.  Their bond with humans can be really close.

If the person you bought / adopted your cat from is a reputable breeder, if you call them and discuss the issues you and your kitten are having I would expect them to be concerned:  if you were unhappy keeping the cat that they be very open to a refund and the cat being returned to them for re-homing.  14 to 20 weeks is not old for a pedigree kitten, and infact 13 or 14 weeks would be the earliest you could adopt.  Many do not leave the breeders until after this time.  The kitten may well have been socialized but there be something about this situation that one or both of you finds difficult, or it could be that the kitten is of a more nervous disposition and is a less sociable cat with strangers.   Pedigree breeding, esp with a breed such as Russian Blue does include the nature of the cats and the personality of the father, and mothering and behaviours of the mother, so there should be more consistency than with non-pedigree cats or breeds where personality is not of such high importance.  Russian Blue cats can be very nervous even though they may love company of their chosen human and it could be that this is your little kitten's nature.  The other thing that comes to mind is that cats, and esp Russian Blues can be very perceptive of their resident human's emotions and if you are anxious or upset this can easily affect the cat.  

I too settled on a Russian Blue as was looking for one cat, able to be left alone when I was at work and able to cope with changing routines, and to be indoor only, but not having to deal with lots of visitors or children running about the place.  Mouse took a lot of reassurance to get used to being alone in the apartment when I first got him.  I am lucky as he is very sociable and loves to be with anyone who comes in to my home (pretty much), and I wouldn't leave him on his own for more than a few hours at a time as he loves company, doesn't matter who as long as they adore him.

Please talk with the breeder you got your kitten from and see if they have any suggestions or thoughts on the situation.  The last thing any reputable breeder wants is for one of their cats to be unhappy, and the second last is an unhappy customer.

Other thoughts -

Mouse was never very relaxed around his breeder, and probably influenced by a combination of her not being one of the main people he socialised with as she didn't like to get too close to kittens she would be loosing and left that to others in her family / prospective adopters, and also he associated her with those nasty vet visits he had to go through!  He is still different with her to how he is with everyone else I know!  

Mouse was a jumpy and decidedly uncuddly kitten from when I first met him to a couple of weeks after I brought him home but once he settled in his new territory he became one of the most confident cats I could ever imagine! Had he had a cuddly kitten sibling I would probably have chosen his sibling but he didn't and his cheeky ways won me over - I would have loved a cuddly kitten but I loved having my cheeky one even more.  He didn't become a cuddler until he was over 2 years old but now he is one big cuddle bug as well as being cheeky and great fun.

Russian Blue cats are often quiet, and that can include their purr.  Mouse does purr but you will only hear it if you are snuggled right in with him, and I didn't hear him purr for several months after I adopted him even though he would lay belly up on the floor for me to me kiss and snuggle in to his belly.  

I really hope things work out for you both, but if they don't then I hope you manage to sort out an amicable arrangement with the breeder to return your kitten there so it can be as low in stress for the kitten as possible.

Your kitten may settle down with you and mature in to a cat you couldn't adore more, but if you sense this is not going to happen a talk with the breeder is better sooner rather than later.

Susan was one of eight feral kittens dumped at animal control to be euthanized. We took three of them, another rescue took the other five. I still have Susan and her sister Dinah. Dinah tamed, could've gone anywhere. Susan needed to stay with her braver sister. I ended up with both of them because the only people interested would have declawed them. Not MY kittens you don't! Susan is going to be five this year. She is afraid of her own shadow, and any sudden noise will send her under the armchair. No house guests ever see her. She is a sweet cat who has taken to meowing at me for attention. She plays with everything, including her own feet, adores her sister. Two minutes after I turn out the lights at night, I can count on Susan flopping down beside me for scratches. She took a long time to come out of her shell, but I got an awesome cat.

MServant, happy to see a fellow Russian Blue-fan! I too chose a russian for several of those reasons you mentioned. I've heard about the close emotional bonds they tend to form with their owners. I think it is a wonderful trait, though not very good if one has a chaotic life. I also have noticed that the kitten is very perceptive about me. I really feel like I am 'being watched' very closely and that he is good at reading me

You are right - perhaps the kitten has been socialized. I haven't seen many signs pointing in that direction, though. The house was smelly, and I recently discovered that the kitten has fleas, etc. Even when kneading it doesn't purr - I read in a thread somewhere about cats that take a long time to 'learn' to purr, and all of those cats have either been feral or from a shelter. I am no expert on the subject, though, and I don't know quite enough about the breeder. But if you ask me, she had way too many cats to be living with them alone and giving all of them sufficient attention. Then again, I asked her several questions because I was so suspicios and I could not tell if she was lying at all. She seemed truthful.

I also believe that since his brother seemed so sunny, the temperament has something to do with it as well. Most Russian Blue cats have a nervous disposition towards strangers, so I was prepared to deal with that. There are just so many other things about Ziggy, especially in the beginning, that I did not have in mind.

I'm glad nobody thinks it is going to be a problem to find a new good home for Ziggy - you have me convinced, and perhaps I am overthinking things. I will write to the breeder tomorrow - and be honest with her.

I am getting more and more convinced that I don't want to return him, though. I already adore him. I played with him for 2 hours straight yesterday night(thought it would stop his yowling - instead he learned that the louder he yowled, the more likely I was to get up and play with him) and even though he still is afraid of my movements, hisses once in a while, etc., the playing session has completely changed his disposition towards me. He doesn't like me touching him - only when he is barely asleep - but he does not seem to mind touching me, and sometimes he seems to not notice me in the room at all. He's grooming himself, lying down next to me, etc. And I'm feeling fine about just playing with him for now. I felt happier falling asleep than I had for weeks, and his yowling decreased a lot.

Chromium Blues, thanks for your input. In the country I live in, declawing is forbidden by law. America has decent animal laws compared to many other countries, yet declawing is somehow allowed - it has always left me baffled, but I also watched a very scary activist documentary about it once. I think most people are just ignorant about the procedure, and just think of it as a practical and easy solution for everyone involved.

How do you feel about Susan being such a fearful cat? It would make me feel miserable. I logically know it would not be my fault, but I wouldn't feel that way. At least I feel bad about Ziggy, but maybe one gets used to having a cat that's so easy to freak out, so to speak. I guess I am thinking of it this way: when a kitten is scared of me and his surroundings, I fear that he is never going to be open with me, and then I would never be able to fulfill his needs. I already feel bad about him being an only cat. Susan does sound very adorable and affectionate, though. I would be okay with that.

How do you feel about Susan being such a fearful cat? It would make me feel miserable. I logically know it would not be my fault, but I wouldn't feel that way. At least I feel bad about Ziggy, but maybe one gets used to having a cat that's so easy to freak out, so to speak. I guess I am thinking of it this way: when a kitten is scared of me and his surroundings, I fear that he is never going to be open with me, and then I would never be able to fulfill his needs. I already feel bad about him being an only cat. Susan does sound very adorable and affectionate, though. I would be okay with that.

Susan is who she is. I was a very shy little kid, so I guess I get it. It took her a long time to come out of her shell. Those kittens were very ill and needed a lot of medication, so unfortunately I was the "bad guy" for the first several weeks we had them. On top of that, Susan was nicknamed "Tilt-A-Whirl" because her head tilted dramatically to the right, so she was singled out for extra treatment. She was about twelve to weeks old when we got her, feral as all heck. I remember major victories with her (first time I put her down on the floor in front of me and she didn't run away, for example). Slowly, she turned into a sweet-natured, playful, cuddly cat.

She's not a cat anyone else ever sees. I get teased for having an invisible pet, but I don't care. The fact that she trusts me makes me very happy, and I love her very much.

If Ziggy really is this fearful and "shy."  The last thing in the world you need to think about is another kitten.  With Ziggy's personality, it would be a disaster more than likely.  If the other kitten had confidence or an alpha personality at all, in any way, poor Ziggy would constantly have a target on his back and be viewed as prey.  Maybe with a kitten similar to his personality but as fearful as you are claiming he is, I still wouldn't advise it.  You need to get him OK with you and his surroundings first.  No big changes for awhile; please.  Again, this would make it even more difficult to rehome him.  Most people have more than one cat... And most people will not "buy" a fearful cat.  So please work with him.  I've had shy cats.  They may not be ideal but as long as you work with them, you can have some sort of special bond.  It may not be the one you envision but it doesn't mean it won't be meaningful and you won't love him just as much.

Chrominum Blues, I think a lot of your acceptance of this is because you are rescuing those kittens and understand where they come from - you know they have been traumatized. I think most on this thread have done something similar many times. I have bought mine from a breeder, and it is a pedigree... So I was not expecting this. I was expecting a very well adjusted kitten. I will probably accept him as well - at the time, it is more the other way around that is a problem. . I'll give him time

Ziggy does still sound really anxious but settling from what you describe of his play and then settling next to you.  His responses to touch at the moment may have more to do with his anxiety in his new surroundings than his normal behaviours:  you may find he is a very different cat in a few days with regard to wanting physical contact.  I do hope so.

I think there is a common thread in what Chromium Blues, P3 and The King, and I have been saying - which is this relationship may be starting slowly and tentatively, and not be what you had expected,  but sometimes these relationships grow in to incredibly special bonds.  For you and Ziggy I hope this is what happens,  but only you will know how you feel over the coming days.      

MServant, I also think he will be different when he is way more relaxed.

I'm starting to feel positive that I'm going to love him enough no matter who he is going to become. He's having a calming effect on me just from being around and doing his thing.

I might need a vet, though. He has very foul smelling diarrhea and he just vomited water. He is also sneezing sometimes, but is very alert and kitten-like otherwise. Poor thing. He was neutered only about a week ago, then torn away from his family, and now this. I don't know what to do aside from putting his food away for 12 hours, but that is probably for another thread

Oh the poor little kitten, it sounds like his body isn't happy about something.  I hope you manage to talk to a vet quickly.Kittens need food and liquid regularly so be careful about withholding anything.  The diarrhea may be a simple food sensitivity which is common in young Russian Blues and Mouse had a few episodes of this when he was first adopted, but it could be more serious and kitten health can change rapidly.  Fingers crossed for you it is food sensitivities and his system getting to grips with all the changes around him.  Best checking though, esp with other symptom

ZiggyStardust11 said:

 
MServant, I also think he will be different when he is way more relaxed.

I'm starting to feel positive that I'm going to love him enough no matter who he is going to become. He's having a calming effect on me just from being around and doing his thing.

I might need a vet, though. He has very foul smelling diarrhea and he just vomited water. He is also sneezing sometimes, but is very alert and kitten-like otherwise. Poor thing. He was neutered only about a week ago, then torn away from his family, and now this. I don't know what to do aside from putting his food away for 12 hours, but that is probably for another thread

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If his diarrhea just started it is very likely due to the food change.

Do you know what he was fed prior?

When food is switched it causes gastrointestinal upset and will cause diarrhea, foul smelling at that.

But if it is switched slowly and gradual over a full week's time, adding a small amt of new to the former each day, increasing it until it is all the new food by the end of a week, it will prevent this from happening.

This is what I suspect.

So how's he doing?

MServant, Reba and catwoman707, the breeder gave me a lot of food, so all he is eating is the stuff he is used to. He was just vomiting water after some rough play, and have not vomited since - I'm keeping a watchful eye on him, but aside from diarrhea, which I think could be stress, there seems to be nothing wrong.

He is extremely energetic and spends most of his time in the living room with me now. He sleeps on a jacket almost next to my bed and sometimes follows me from room to room. He is still scared of movement and touch.

I'm going out to buy some more toys so he doesn't get destructive from all that energy, and something to get rid of the fleas today. I think he'll do just fine

ZiggyStardust11 said:

 
Chrominum Blues, I think a lot of your acceptance of this is because you are rescuing those kittens and understand where they come from - you know they have been traumatized. I think most on this thread have done something similar many times. I have bought mine from a breeder, and it is a pedigree... So I was not expecting this. I was expecting a very well adjusted kitten. I will probably accept him as well - at the time, it is more the other way around that is a problem. . I'll give him time

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You're right, I don't get to choose my cats. The ones I keep are the ones nobody else wants. I'm really glad you'll give him time to adjust. He'll learn that you bring him only good things, and eventually he'll start to come around. Cats are always worth the time...And by the looks of this thread, it seems like you've got a lot of folks to help you along the way.

It looks like he is coming around. Its a good sign he is following you around sometimes. It's hard for us to remember we are all big giants to kittens so the being scared from a touch from above from a thing a lot bigger than the kitten is normal, he will get over being scared of your sudden movements or touch. if you can make yourself smaller by laying on the floor I am sure you won't get the same reaction. Sleeping on the jacket is a good sign. I assume it's yours and has your scent, this is a good way for him to bond with you and the fact he wants to sleep on something smells like you means he feels secure there. I'm glad he is providing a calming effect on you that's very nice to hear. I could never afford a Russian and just got a Gray DSH cat instead, she was beautiful and provided me so much joy I think your gray cat will too!!!

I want to thank everyone on this thread for supporting me and all those different perspectives you have given me.

I have made my final decision, and Ziggy stays. He makes major progress every day, and few minutes ago he just fell asleep on my lap. When I had to handle him in order to move him, he didn't hiss or run away at all, but fell asleepimmediately against my thigh. He still runs away with sudden movements and he still hisses at me when I startle him by walking into a room unexpectedly

My guess is that he's just a very either-or cat with very little in between, and that he will be a great cat once he decides which extreme I belong to(the good one, I hope!)

And he purrs!

     Hurray for lap naps and purring.        Honestly, I think he's doing great for being with you such a short time.  Some cats never take lap naps (Mouse so far being one of them) and here you are getting one already.   He will still be getting used to all the noises and smells around your home so he is bound to be a bit jumpy for a while.  I think you will see his real personality start to shine out over the coming weeks, and he may or may not stay as jumpy as he is.  Hopefully not, but then I hope he's not as bold as Mouse because Mouse seems to think he is human and the boss of the house to the point he can jump at my head if he wants to and get away with it  (which he can of course).   Russian Blues are kind of known for being the boss of their home though so don't be to surprised if you have lost all command to your blue one over the next few weeks - you will have plenty company if you do.       

May you have many fun filled and happy years with Ziggy:  I can't wait for more updates and hope they are all happy ones.   And photos, lots of them!!!   Did you get in touch with the breeder at all or did you decide to leave it in the end?