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How Cold Is It? ( Joke)

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I'm from Minnesota and I just HAD to share this!

With cold snaps hitting the country and winter upon us comes the following thermometer readings.

An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit)

New York tenants turn on the heat
Minnesotans plant gardens

Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans sunbathe

Italian cars don't start

Distilled water freezes

You can see your breath
You plan a vacation in Florida
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
Minnesotans eat ice cream

Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you

Cleveland water freezes
San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
Minnesota Vikings fans put on T-shirts----YEAH!!!

You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!!
Minnesotans go swimming

Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
Too cold to snow
You need jumper cables to get the car going

New York landlords turn on the heat

You can hear your breath
You plan a vacation in Hawaii

American cars don't start
Too cold to skate

You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Miamians cease to exist
Minnesotans lick flagpoles

Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
People in Duluth think about taking down screens

Too cold to kiss
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
Japanese cars don't start
Minnesota Twins head for spring training

You plan a two-week hot bath
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof

Mercury freezes
Too cold to think
Minnesotans button top button

Californians disappear
Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
Minnesotans put on sweaters

Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window
Two Harbors Minnesota Agates practice indoors

Walruses abandon Aleutians
Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens
Boy Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby

Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo,WI
Lackore Boys start to complain while working on snowmobiles

Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
Girl Scouts in Two Harbors Minnesota start Klondike Derby

Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer

Santa Claus abandons North Pole
Minnesotans pull down earflaps

Ethyl alcohol freezes
The University of Minnesota (Twin Cities Campus) closes

Lackore Boys quit working on snowmobiles.

Helium becomes a liquid

Hell freezes over

Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90

Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution

-460 (Absolute Zero)
All atomic motion ceases
The University of Minnesota-Duluth is closed
Minnesotans alert us as to how it's getting a mite nippy
post #2 of 10
I'm from Minnesota too! LOL
I like that list, it reminds me of my sister and I
a couple years ago.
We were working at Imation and we had to go outside
to smoke every night at breaks, so were outside and it's
around -40 with the wind chill every night,
so when it passed and it went up to 19 degrees we
seriously went outside and thought it was nice enough
to wear short sleeve shirts and no jackets lol

My Mom who lives in So. Cali thinks we were crazy but
she just would have had to have gone through the FREEZING
temps we did then have it warm up almost 60 degrees in
a couple days to understand lol
post #3 of 10
omg that was cute!!! i would say your pretty correct, it gets cold here but nothing like up your way,, the coldest i ever can rem it getting here was -40f. i time and it was so weird, you could hear the elec. lines hum and it almost looked pinish blue in the air... i hope that never happens again, thats too cold..... hope you stay warm this winter!
post #4 of 10
Im from Minnesota too that's cute
post #5 of 10
I live in north dakota so I can totally relate. I am so sick of the cold now!!!
post #6 of 10
post #7 of 10
I'm from MN & thats all so true
post #8 of 10
I can relate too
post #9 of 10
Some of those are good.. I especially liked "You can hear your breath"
post #10 of 10
Oh, you Minnesotans are a hardy bunch, eh? Like our Yoopers, eh?!!!!
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