My little mate Gem

G'day all, season greeting to ya's all from the land down under. I must apologize as this will be my first and last post. I need somewhere to unload my grief and this seemed like a good place to be at the moment. Around fellow cat lovers.

If I may I'd like to share a heart warming story with you-

My little mate, wasn't such a little cat. When I first met him he was a big cat, and around 4 maybe 5 years old. But my introduction to the little guy is about mid way thru his troubled life, so please allow me to start at the beginning.

Tut, tut, tut puss. puss, puss as he was called back then when my soon to be daughter in law first came across this beaten up young cat, was a sorry looking thing. She guessed by his behavior that he had been mistreated by his owners before being dumped. He was covered in abscesses and when taken to the local vet was informed that the money that was needed to fix him would cost more than it was worth. My Daughter, (God bless her) can be as stubborn as that cats will to live, and informed the vet to fix him anyway. Don't get me wrong, we aren't wealthy people but she was being reasonably well paid while training as an assistant career for the mentally disabled. So over a period of a year with much love and patience she nursed the cat back to something that was almost normal. Over time the Vet dropped hundreds from the bills as he came to see Maries determination and love for the mangy thing. After the first year he was a stubborn little rascal from what iv heard. He hated men and only gave limited affection to Marie. It soon came to pass that Marie had to leave her rental unit and the next place didn't allow pets. So Marie asked her mum (Toni) if she'd take the cat? She reluctantly said yes.

So it was off to a new home, and a new name. Now he had to get use to the name of, "Gemery". It was taken from a kid who could not pronounce the name Jeremy. Wow was he in for a shock. Two teenage boys 14 & 18. They were good kids at heart, but had no idea how to deal with a animal that had been mistreated and now hated anyone in long pants. So the war began. They would peg (throw) soft toys at the cat and he would pee over their school or work bags. It went on like this for about three years. He was loved by the perfectionist mum & terrorized by the kids. He was fed well, had free reign of the home and could come & go as he pleased. So I suppose considering his early life he would of been reasonably contented.

It's about that time that I came into Toni's life. Now my out look is, all animals are ok by me, but I preferred dogs, as that's what I had grown up with. One day early in the peace when I was sitting in the lounge room I saw a dash of orange shoot behind the couch that was in front of me. I asked Toni if she had a pet? She informed me of this man hating cat. So I got off of the couch and headed across the room and pulled the couch away from the wall. I got down on my knees and there hissing back at me was this fearful looking thing. lol. Iv always laughed at that. So I told him plain and simple like, "You don't know it yet, but you and I are going to be mates! I will become your friend and hopefully you will come to accept me in your home". As I reached for him I got a number of nasty scratches on my right forearm for my trouble.

That's when my love for him started. I too, had had a troubled life & was also on the streets at a young age, so I understood both his fear and fighting spirit. Every time I went and saw this beautiful lady, I always took the time to speak to the cat in a gentle manner, often reaching out to stroke him as he ran past my legs. It took about a year before he trusted me enough to jump up on my lap. So when about a year later when I asked Toni to marry me, boofhead as I came to call him. ( My pet name for him) openly accepted me, but I was the only guy that could pick him up. Even my now wife was amazed that her cat loved and accepted me more than her. When we moved house the cat naturally came with us. He settled into his new home rather well, even got use to the new routine of being locked up at night. We had to always watch him if we were heading out the front or back doors as he would often try to dash outside, but apart from that he was a great cat. I soon discovered one night that Gemery respected me, for when I called to him as he was making a dash for the back fence, he dropped onto his back and just kind of did a number of barrel rolls. So I went up to him & just played with him. Told him what a good boy he was for listening and took him back into the house. Lol. My wife was gob smacked. Who said you can't teach old cats new tricks?

It wasn't long before he knew what Tummy Rub meant, or brush! Man did he love being brushed with one of those hand fitting massage brushes. When my wife & I sat down to watch TV, Gem would often jump up onto my lap and paw at the dressing gown that I wore and dribble to his hearts content as I stroked his fine and soft ginger fur.

Play time with him was the best. A long feather being run along the floor was his favorite and often found me with scratches all over my finger tips. I didn't care much for the pain of it all, but we stirred each other up equally so I didn't mind that much. Gem knew when I tapped my feet, or clicked my finger nails on the ground that It was time to get in contact with his wild side & have some fun.

About a year ago my wife & I separated, & I am ashamed to say I missed my little mate, more than I did my wife. But that was life. I knew that he pined for me, but what can one do? He was after all Toni's cat! About 2 months ago I made a determined effort to fix our marriage, I loved my wife and her cat, & I needed both of them in my life. They were and are my loved one's. They are my family. Gem was overjoyed to have me coming around every other day and it was great to be able to play with my little mate again. I am ashamed to say that on the 23rd December, I had an argument with my wife, she said something hurtful and I raised my voice. I turned and headed for the front door. As I left Gem bolted out the door. I should of gone and got him and with hindsight I wish I had. that was the last time I saw my little mate! My wife phoned me two nights ago to tell me that Gem had been hit by a car & had his pelvis & back legs shattered by the impact. It took him 4 days, in 35 C heat to drag himself home. He was put to rest late on the night of the 27th.

Gem and I had had six years together. During this short period of time, he came to accept all people, both men and women. When we had visitors over who had never been to the house before, they often found my little mate brushing up against their legs leaving his ginger fur over their pants legs. I am so proud of you Gem. My heart is breaking at you not being here with us any more, for it is our loss. You taught me as much as I taught you. I love you buddy. I miss you so much. Any way people thanks for your time. The tears are flowing freely and my story is over.

From a converted dog lover. now a proud cat lover!

My heartfelt condolences. Your love for Gem shows so clearly in every word of your tribute to him. He must have been a very special cat with a huge amount of courage and the capacity to return the love given him. It sounds as if you had a very strong bond. Losing him so suddenly must be heartbreaking. One little cat that unexpectedly comes into your life can change things forever. Some day, hopefully soon, you might want to give another cat who needs your help a home filled with love. That love for cats you've discovered within yourself will be Gem's legacy.

RIP, Gem.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Bless you all for everything you did for Gem.  Please feel free to return to The Cat Site anytime.  You will always be welcome.

Geeez man, very touching story, only people who have had this kind of empathy with cats or other animals at some point of our lives could understand what you're feeling right now. I am very sorry for the loss of your friend.


When I was a child I was visiting some relatives house and their cats had this litter in which one if the kittens was a grey cat very similar, almost identical to a blue russian, at that moment I decided I wanted that kitty, not because it looked like a blue russian, at that time I didnt know a thing about blue russians actually, the thing was I really liked that little grey green eyed kitty, it was the first cat I choose.

When the time came I got the cat home and he made everybody at home happy, speccially me, The cat which I named "Morito" and I developed an special link, he loved me in the same way I loved him, cat was very devoted to me.

But not everything was beatiful and happy in this story. My younger brorther who was always a sick boy ( he had anorexia and asma) started to suffer of more frequent asma crisis and someone told my dad that it was because of the cat.

Thoughtfulness, tenderness and empathy have never been my dad's attributes so one day he came home forced me to get my cat, to put him in a box and made me go with him to give my cat away to some relatives, I was twelve and when I called my cat he came as he usually did when he heard my voice, I started to cry, the cat saw me and as if he knew something wrong happened he also started meowing with pain, as my dad saw me crying he started to slap my face calling me names and forced me to put the cat inside this box we took him to this relatives home as I previously said, left him and never saw him again in my life. Later on I knew my cat ran away from that place and no one else knew about him ever.

It was 35 years ago and now a days I remember it with deep pain, I still remember my cat meowing and looking at my eyes as if he asked me: what is going on??!!... How could my dad do this to our family? My granny my mom and I suffered a lot our cat's loss, he didnt understand the cat wasnt just an animal but he was a member of the family he was my friend he loved and trusted me and my dad forced me to betray him, it still hurts after so many years, he was totally a SOB and I hate him for that, how coud he do that to me, his son,?. I have a 10 year old boy myself and he loves his cat so much I woundn't even dare to mistreat the cat in front if him because he would cry( moreover I love the cat too) , but this makes me wonder what kind of mother ****er you have to be to force your child to get rid of his most beloved pet himself, I dont understand it and It still hurts a lot at my 47 years old, I still have to work with all these feelings.


Sorry for hijacking your thread but what you told us made me feel like venting out too.

My heart  breaks for what you are going through, that beautiful little soul will be greatly missed. Thank you for sharing his story so he will be remembered for the courageous boy he truly was, we will keep a little part of him in our hearts and pray that his pain is over and he is at peace. They have a way of worming into our hearts and they become a member of our family and richly improve our lives. I'm so sorry his life had to end that way, my heart cries for him and those he left behind. Please accept my condolences, try to remember the happy times, he would not want you to be so sad. RIP beautiful Gem, you will be forever loved! 

Horatiothecat

Hey mate, how's things. Thank you foryourpost. I am surprised anyone responded to tell you the truth. As this was the only for me to be able to get in contact with my feeling of pain & loss,because, of that hard life I had as a kid, I'd learnt a long time ago how to push feeling of hurt and pain deep down inside of me. This of course stops the healing process, so my post was a way to counter act that.

If I may, I'd like to share some wisdom with you. Firstly I empathize for you as a young boy who lost his little mate. What parents can do sometimes still amazes me, even after all these years your pain is still visible in your life.

My wisdom is this- In order for that little boy to be able to heal from the pain that his dad caused, you need to forgive your dad for the misinformed decision that he made. I fully understand that that can be a hard thing to hear sometimes, but it is the only way that you can move past the pain of that loss. Forgiveness is a way of giving yourself permission to heal and to grow. There are times where I have spoken The words of forgiveness and the actual feeling of forgiveness have taken their time to catch up with the words that were uttered.

The only reason that I can tell you this is because I have had to forgive some male members of my family for some pretty horrid stuff that they did to me as a child. But I no longer have a hurting and wounded, dare I say shattered child within me. I have given myself the permission to find wholeness as a person because of the forgiveness I have given to others. Even if at times that person is deceased, it has allowed me to move on from being stuck in that moment of time when the pain was caused.

I hope that I have not overstepped any boundaries in saying this. My intention is to reach out to you and in no way to further add to your pain. I only hope for your sake, that you will find healing from this cruel and thoughtless act.

Kind regards Paul.

Gemery said:

 
Horatiothecat

Hey mate, how's things. Thank you foryourpost. I am surprised anyone responded to tell you the truth. As this was the only for me to be able to get in contact with my feeling of pain & loss,because, of that hard life I had as a kid, I'd learnt a long time ago how to push feeling of hurt and pain deep down inside of me. This of course stops the healing process, so my post was a way to counter act that.

If I may, I'd like to share some wisdom with you. Firstly I empathize for you as a young boy who lost his little mate. What parents can do sometimes still amazes me, even after all these years your pain is still visible in your life.

My wisdom is this- In order for that little boy to be able to heal from the pain that his dad caused, you need to forgive your dad for the misinformed decision that he made. I fully understand that that can be a hard thing to hear sometimes, but it is the only way that you can move past the pain of that loss. Forgiveness is a way of giving yourself permission to heal and to grow. There are times where I have spoken The words of forgiveness and the actual feeling of forgiveness have taken their time to catch up with the words that were uttered.

The only reason that I can tell you this is because I have had to forgive some male members of my family for some pretty horrid stuff that they did to me as a child. But I no longer have a hurting and wounded, dare I say shattered child within me. I have given myself the permission to find wholeness as a person because of the forgiveness I have given to others. Even if at times that person is deceased, it has allowed me to move on from being stuck in that moment of time when the pain was caused.

I hope that I have not overstepped any boundaries in saying this. My intention is to reach out to you and in no way to further add to your pain. I only hope for your sake, that you will find healing from this cruel and thoughtless act.

Kind regards Paul.

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Thanks for your words and no worries there's no such as overstepping any boundaries if you now what I mean, after all we're here among ppl that share the love to these lovely creatures.

It is not that I see my dad with hatred all the time because what he did but it is when I actually remember what he did that caused me these feelings even after 37 years!!!.

Actually I haven't talked to anyone about what my feelings are regarding this story ever, only my mother knows and that's why she also suffered a lot the cat's loss, but now being at this place with people with the same kind of feelings towards cats encouraged me to vent out, only someone who could feel so much empathy and love to cats can undestand me an understand what it feels like to experience this kind of link to your cat and then to be forced to backstab your pet's confidance and love yourself!.

In general terms I don't hate my dad, I am actually in peace with such feelings but what I cannot forgive is myself for having got rid of my cat (eventhough I was forced I could not say not to him I feared him so much my dad was actrually a toxic parent)  and decieved cat's love and confidance, and perhaps I wound never get over it.

Also it is not that I wake up every morning feeling myself depressed and miserable because of this but it is certainly something I have inside of me and still hurts.

I remember  when in my neighborhood this car ran over this little cat about 5 months old, the cat dragged himself as it could to a nearby park but it had the spine broken, poor thing was resting in pain on the grass near this bench and nobody did anything for him so I decided to do something: I had to put him to sleep, I wouldn't leave that handicaped poor creature to its fate so I shoot him on the head with an air gun, he passed away quicky but I felt terrible eventhough It has to be done, then I bury him.

Man it really felt terrible!!!, I donno if I am crazy of just too infantile but when I set myself to remember things like this ones my eyes get wet, maybe cat lovers who know what kind of love and tenderness a cat could deliver should undestand me.