need to rehome one of my boys.

Hi, I'm new here and wasn't sure where to post this....I have 2 cats, both boys, both approx 4 yrs old. 1 I have had for over 3 yrs and the other since Feb. They don't really seem to get on that well, and the first cat, Sox, doesn't seem too happy these days. Food is an issue, Sox is a grazer and likes to go back and forth to his wet food. The 2nd one, Monroe, is the opposite. If there's any food left in either bowl he will eat it all. I have taken to feeding them less but more often. This means I am woken up at ridiculous times of the night to top up as Sox is hungry. His behaviour had gotten worse lately too, he's always been cheeky and mischievous - as cats are. So, I'm considering rehoming Monroe to create 2 happy boys, it saddens me that Sox appears so unhappy now. I'm concerned that if I do rehome Monroe then Sox will miss him and become sad. But I need to do something. I've tried feeding them separately, keeping them separated at times but I live in a flat and they're both indoor cats so it isn't easy to keep this up. Plus I work fulltime so I'm not home to keep an eye on them during the day. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

notcrazycatlady said:

Hi, I'm new here and wasn't sure where to post this....I have 2 cats, both boys, both approx 4 yrs old. 1 I have had for over 3 yrs and the other since Feb. They don't really seem to get on that well, and the first cat, Sox, doesn't seem too happy these days. Food is an issue, Sox is a grazer and likes to go back and forth to his wet food. The 2nd one, Monroe, is the opposite. If there's any food left in either bowl he will eat it all. I have taken to feeding them less but more often. This means I am woken up at ridiculous times of the night to top up as Sox is hungry. His behaviour had gotten worse lately too, he's always been cheeky and mischievous - as cats are. So, I'm considering rehoming Monroe to create 2 happy boys, it saddens me that Sox appears so unhappy now. I'm concerned that if I do rehome Monroe then Sox will miss him and become sad. But I need to do something. I've tried feeding them separately, keeping them separated at times but I live in a flat and they're both indoor cats so it isn't easy to keep this up. Plus I work fulltime so I'm not home to keep an eye on them during the day. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

Hi and welcome to TCS, I hope we can help.

When you say they don't get on too well can you be more specific?  And how well have you bonded with Monroe?

Ok, so they fight quite often and its not just play fighting. If Sox is on the sofa and Monroe jumps up then Sox will get down and sit facing away.
They don't really play together at all. They rarely sit or sleep near eachother. They're quite often in separate rooms, for example right now Sox is with me and Monroe is in the bedroom.
If Sox tries to groom Monroe that ends up in a scrap.
I haven't bonded with Monroe as much as I had with Sox in the same time period. He is a lovely cat and I will be sad to see him go. He's very affectionate to everyone and loves a fuss.

OK and where did you get Sox from?  What are you're rehoming options?

I got Sox from my mum when he was about 7 months old.
My rehoming options I'm not sure of. I've spoken with a friend to see if she knows of anybody who would like a new cat. Failing that, it'll be a rescue place.

Is there a small room or storage closet you could use to feed Sox? There are cat flaps that open with a collar key or are programmed to only accept a certain microchip. One of those put in a door (or even a large wooden box) would solve the food problem.

OK and where did you get Sox from?  What are you're rehoming options?

notcrazycatlady said:

I got Sox from my mum when he was about 7 months old.
My rehoming options I'm not sure of. I've spoken with a friend to see if she knows of anybody who would like a new cat. Failing that, it'll be a rescue place.

Click to expand...

Would your mom be willing to take him back?

It's Monroe who needs rehoming not Sox. And tbh I'd never give a cat to my mother.

It's more than just the food issue, however I have tried to feed them separately. But sometimes I don't have time for that. Like in the mornings before work I'm always in a rush.

Sorry I meant Monroe.  And re: mom, ok.  The only thing I can offer besides re-homing is to try to separate them in your home or separate and then try to reintroduce but it seems like this has been a long term situation. 

---

There are several steps to a successful introduction, the goal being BFFs, not enemies or angry at you (especially the resident cat).  A careful introduction raises the stress level in incremental steps, allowing both cats, especially the resident cat time to acclimate to the stressor before being introduced to the next level.  You are going to move the "bar" closer and closer to the resident cat until the final step, a supervised face-to-face, becomes  a fender bender and not a car crash.

Step one: Complete separation, putting the new cat is a small room like a bathroom with food, litter and water.  Do not let the cats see each other - too much stress too soon.  Give the new cat time to adjust.  Give both cats time (a week+/-) to get used to this.  They will know each other is there.  Start feeding the resident cat nearer to the door, adjusting daily until he is at the door eating. Do voluntary scent exchange by rubbing the new cat's cheeks on a sock and then offering the sock as a gift to the resident. Don't force him to smell the sock, don't rub it on him. Observe his behavior and allow it.   Rub a clean sock on his cheeks and offer it to the new cat.  Continue to do this but never force either cat to interact with the other cat's sock.

When they are reasonably calm with everything in step one go to:

Step Two:  Allow the cats to see each other.  Two baby gates stacked on top of each other in the open door is a great way.  Cracking the door open and blocking it into position so they can't get through the door is another way.  With many cats the stress of this will make them revert, but it would have been much worse if you had started with this step.  Continue as if this was step one, but now with them seeing each other.  When they are both calm, no hissing or growling, you can go to:

Step Three: After eating meals and feeling satisfied (full stomach = less aggressive) and trimmed nails, you can start to do brief supervised introductions face to face.  Watch their body language and reactions and increase their time together until you are confident that they can manage on their own.

In General, treat the resident cat like he is King.  Don't do things to make him jealous. Don't discipline either cat for showing aggression, punishing them for what they feel is a normal behavior (and is normal for them) just raises the stress.  And follow your cats' lead on the speed of the introduction, there are no rules other than to listen to them.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

I work at a clinic rescue and to give you some input.... Rescues rarely take in animals from anyone.  1.  There just isn't enough room or resources.   2.  They need to save those resources in case a no kill shelter in the area has animals we want to save.  We try to save as many as we can but with the overwhelming pet population, it is very difficult.  I am sure you will find this to be true when you start contacting places.  Also, shelters give them 3 days max.  That is assuming he has no health or behavior issues in which he'll be put down immediately.  DO NOT fool yourself into believing he will be adopted or a rescue will take him.  Chances are slim.  We save maybe 2 or 3/week max.  And we usually try to save the more desirable or troubled cats we believe we can help that came from horrific situations. 

Cats do not like change and it takes them awhile.  Shelters are awful places for them.  They are frightened and lash out and hunch themselves into the corner of their very small cages.  The noises of a shelter and the smells of the shelter are very upsetting to them.  Needless to say, they are not at their best when at a shelter. 

May I suggest a senior that you may know or hear of from someone that loves pets and is responsible?  Often seniors will take them for the company.  And often they will be only pets so the pet will appreciate the quiet and stability.